Chapter 6.
I'd Wait An Eternity For YouThe next two months passed by in a blur, the only thing that made you feel like you were actually alive was Yixing’s phone calls. Yixing would call you whenever a new picture or teaser of his was released and every time you would hold in the pain that surrounded your neck to talk to him. You were growing weak and the radiation treatments were starting to get the better of you. You lost your appetite which resulted in an even greater weight loss, your legs no longer had the strength to help you stand and an oxygen mask is now situated on your face to aid you in breathing whenever you needed it. You were at another one of your radiation treatments when you felt a terrible tugging in your stomach. Without a second thought you grabbed the garbage can next to your bed and hurled the small amount of food you ate in the morning. Tears streamed down your colourless face as you puked, the pain you felt at that moment could not be put into words. Your mother was keeping your hair from your face and slamming on the red button on the wall of your bed. You heard the footsteps of your nurse rushing into the room. She called for the doctor immediately when she saw that you were puking. When the puking finally stopped and your sobs subsided your mother and nurse got you cleaned up before bringing you back to your room, helping you lie down slowly.
“Doctor, what’s going on? The radiation therapy has never made her puke before, I thought you said her body was able to overcome that side effect!” Your mother didn’t mean to yell but she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t contain her emotions after what had just occurred.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Fan but this is one of the many side effects of therapy. I know I told you that Peiyun’s body was able to respond positively but now that she has gotten so weak, her body is rejecting the treatment, causing her to throw up like all our other patients.” Your doctor looked at your mother with sad eyes before turning to you, a clip board was in his hand.
“Peiyun, listen to what I have to tell you carefully and think about your decision alright? After going through your results from the past month I can see that the radiation therapy has in fact helped with the reduction of your tumor. I know you may not feel like it but I’ve noticed a massive decrease in its size, if you keep this up we just might be able to get you into surgery and remove the cancer once and for all. Here’s the catch though, the success rate of your surgery is only forty percent and you must increase the amount of treatment you’re receiving. It will be extremely difficult on your body and the puking won’t stop, actually, it’ll get worse. Your other option is to simply stop this treatment and to only take the medication I have provided for you and hope that your condition will not worsen. If you choose the first option, your body may or may not crash in the process. That all depends on your own will, you may even die during surgery but it is the only way for you to get better. If you choose the second option you will never actually recover and the cancer won’t ever leave you. I’m also afraid that you may only have a year or two left before the cancer begins to spread throughout the rest of your body. Take some time and discuss this with your parents. I’ll need to know within a week so that I can get you ready for both the treatment and the surgery if you choose the first option.”
“If I were to go with the surgery how soon would that be?”
“If your tumor continues to decrease in size, two months from now. The success rate of the surgery would decrease the longer you wait as well so think wisely.” Your doctor left the room and you stared at your mother. The expression on her face must be a reflection of yours, complete and utter shock. You’ll have to discuss this with everybody else today.
You were sitting in your room while the four adults were in a heated conversation outside. They thought you fell asleep but you were listening to every single one of their words.
“Peiyun is a fighter, let’s go with the treatment and surgery.” Your father was confident that you would be fine, the surgery sounded like new hope in his ears.
“The success rate is only forty percent! What if... What if it doesn’t go well like last time? I don’t want to see Peiyun suffer more than she is already suffering honey! Let’s make the next two years of her life memorable instead okay? The doctor says that she can die during the process as well! We can all see how fragile she has gotten, she can’t even get stand on her own two feet anymore. I can’t take it, I can’t keep watching her suffer like this.”
“So you’re just going to watch our daughter die instead?! You don’t want her taking the treatment when you know that it will mean death? Forty percent is still a higher chance of survival than zero! If we just let her be, she’ll die for sure!”
“Everyone dies! It hurts me just as much as it hurts you knowing that she will go before us but I don’t want to see her leave in pain and suffering. I want her to spend the next two years with us at home and not at the hospital. If she doesn’t make it through the surgery, she’ll be gone in one month. Call me selfish but it’s the safer decision!” You could hear your mother crying by now. Yixing’s father spoke on her behalf and that surprised you.
“I agree with your wife this time, yes, Peiyun is strong and Peiyun is a fighter but hasn’t the suffering she’s gone through for the past three years been enough? Look at her, none of us wants to admit it but she’s on the verge of... Death. She can’t walk, she can’t eat properly and she can’t even breathe on her own. What makes you think that she’ll survive the treatment and surgery? Trust me when I say that I love Peiyun like a daughter, I want to see her grow up and marry my son, for them to have a future together but what I want even more than those two things is to see her suffering stop. Imagine the amount of pain she goes through from both the treatment and puking. She can barely talk without it hurting. Listen to your wife this time alright?”
“Honey! What are you trying to do? Peiyun can do this! I know she can! I’m with her father, who are we to say that she won’t win this battle?”
A thousand thoughts and scenarios were running through your head now, drowning out the conversation outside of your room. You were no longer afraid of death and the suffering has become almost bearable to you now. You thought about your hopes and dreams, the life you wanted to live and the people who would suffer emotionally if you were to leave them behind. You didn’t want to be useless anymore, you didn’t want to go without a fight. You have been a burden for long enough now and a chance, a true opportunity for you to survive is actually here. You calculated the days in your head making sure that you would still be able to see Yixing’s debut before your surgery. Without another thought you clicked on the red button next to your bed as the nurses and your doctor rushed in with your parents trailing behind him. He looked at you knowingly and stepped inside.
“You want to take the treatment don’t you?” With a small nod of your head the doctor smiled and took a seat next to your bed. “I knew you would. Let’s go through the details of your new schedule and how this treatment will go alright?”
You spent the next twenty minutes listening to your doctor and the amount of treatment you’ll need from now on. Your mother was shaking from her tears as she listened while your father looked at you in admiration. That’s his girl. It would be a lie if you said that you weren’t afraid of the pain ahead of you but like your father said, you’re a fighter. You’re not going to give up and let yourself go just because it’s the less painful option. After your doctor left the room you gave your four loved ones a look of determination, you knew that nothing could take the worry away from their hearts but you wanted to reassure them that you made this decision after thinking it through clearly.
“Peiyun dear, you’re so brave.” Yixing’s mother set her hands on top of yours and you felt a drop of her tears land on your arm. You looked up at your mother who was still in shock and reached out for her hands.
“Sweetie, mom will support whatever decision you make.”
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Just got home from writing my English Diploma Part B Exam, so I apologize if there are any spelling mistakes in today's update haha. Thank you so much to everybody reading and taking the time to comment! I can't believe I already have 58 subscribers for this story =)
I can't believe my story has over 300 subscribers now. Thank you guys sooo much for reading! Hopefully I'll have a fanfic just as good as this one done again!
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