Finally an update. 

The result of our first long exam in one of our core course was released and I am quite satisfied with the result. ^^

Please enjoy reading.

Myungsoo knew that he was a coward and an idiot. He was the biggest idiot and coward of all times.

He's an idiot for thinking that he can continue to trick Sungjong - to let the younger believe of a relationship that was meant to be destroyed from the start, a relationship that started because of pride and greed. He was an idiot to believe that Sungjong won't find out of his infidelity and to drag another heartbroken person to break an innocent being.

But above all he was a coward for not telling their youngest of the mistake that he was buried from the start - a mistake that was slowly crawling its way out from its grave and will soon bound to destroy the people that he cared the most.

However the damage had been done now... All because of his cowardice and idiocy. And Sungjong was the one paying for all the mistakes that he had committed.

As Myungsoo sat inside the room of their maknae, he was pondering about the events that happened for the past days - starting from the accident to the current situation that the INFINITE was facing. It was very stressful and exhausting.

If only the media didn't know about the accident - unfortunately, the details of the accident was already reported over the whole nation and maybe the whole word - then they would not be using their ninja skills to evade the media, sasaengs, paparazzi, and almost everyone that were hot on their heels to take a hold on Sungjong's current condition and to have an exclusive interview with the members, much more with Sungyeol. Their company had not release any official statement yet since Sungjong's family requested them.

And to add more fuel to the fire, pictures of Myungsoo and someone clad with the jacket were circulating around the SNS. Pictures of him stepping out of the taxi and hugging someone spread like a wildfire in the Internet. No one knows who that mystery person is. Netizens might not know him, but INFINITE members knew very well who was Myungsoo hugging that time. Yet those pictures, it only caused more rumours to the current issue they were facing. Several speculations were made by the reporters and bloggers and not all of them were good.

Their CEO had almost ripped Myungsoo’s head off when he saw that picture.

"So, you’re also dating Choi Minki now?"

And as expectedly, the CEO was answered with silence.

He and Ren had come to an agreement of not seeing each other for a while, maybe till Sungjong wakes up but Myungsoo knew much better.  After all it was Ren that made the arrangement - the younger was probably waiting for the time to end their so called affair and asked for a closure. 

Myungsoo had no choice but to stay away from INFINITE. He opted to stay at some hotel with the fact that the members kept on giving him deadly glares and silent treatment. It was only when all the members were away that he would return to their dorm – to Sungjong’s room and read the journal of their maknae as he hug and cry on the bear he gave to Sungjong before.  

He acknowledge the fact that he lose all the right to cry for Sungjong because he’s the one that started it all but the feeling of regret lingers deep within him, reminding him of everything that he had taken away from the younger. Everything inside the room reminded him of the maknae and that causes his tear to fall unconsciously.

He couldn't even go home since he knew that the moment he stepped inside his parents’ house he will be eaten alive - especially by his mom. It's not an undeniable fact that most of their parents had taken so much liking to their maknae.

Myungsoo had not plan to visit Sungjong in the first place, but there’s a small voice in the corner of his brain whispering and urging him to stop being a coward and to face the man that he had sinned the most.

And that small voice brought Myungsoo, all dressed in black, carrying the maknae’s stuffed bear in his backpack, to the hospital for the first time after their maknae’s admittance.

He walked absentmindedly to the hospital, dodging all unnecessary attention to himself. Luck was on his side that time, it was raining hard and few people were roaming the street. He already knew what room their maknae is because someone had sent him a message containing Sungjong’s current room number.

As he walked on the empty and eerily quiet hallway of the hospital, he did not expect to pin on the wall. Breathe constricted with the arms on his neck. The small eyes of their leader were looking straight at him, piercing through his very core.

Myungsoo wanted to be swallowed whole by the ground just to avoid the scrutinizing eyes of their leader. Those eyes must be small but it holds a lot of animosity and hatred a person could even muster.

Woohyun was also there, trying his very hard to detach the derange leader away from Myungsoo. However the task deemed to be impossible since their eldest hyung is like a livid lion, so ferocious that it can readily shred his prey into pieces.

“What are you doing here, Kim Myungsoo?”

Sunggyu whispered through clenched teeth, voice soft and quiet but it held all the level of malice and threats that Myungsoo could ever think of. Being called Kim Myungsoo showed that Sunggyu had severed his entire bond with him. Their leader lost the respect that he had for Myungsoo.

Sunggyu calling him by his full name speaks it all. Myungsoo knew that to the leader, he is not L, their visual or Myungsoo, the dork and mood-maker of INFNITE, because he is Kim Myungsoo, the one that ruined the life of their maknae, the one that cause all these turmoil and conflict in their group. Kim Myungsoo is the ungrateful bastard that cheated with a member of another boygroup because he couldn’t satisfy his needs by being with his boyfriend alone. Kim Myungsoo is nothing but the bad guy that brought Sungjong in a life and death situation. Kim Myungsoo is the biggest coward and idiot that brought nothing but painful memories and internal turmoil to Lee Sungjong.

Myungsoo was aware that his silence would mean that there are 101 possible ways that he would die by the hands of their eldest member; on the other hand, if he opens his wretched mouth, the possibility of dying will still remain there. He could envision himself dying in the hands of Sunggyu with the help of Woohyun.

But then, there’s the little voice in his head whispering to take a stand and to stop being a coward. That’s why he opened his mouth even if it is difficult because of their current position.

“I want to see Sungjongie, hyung.”

“Don’t you dare, Kim Myungsoo.”

Sunggyu grumbled as he pressed harder on the visual’s neck.

“Don’t you dare step any closer to his room much more to step in this hospital. And, don’t you dare to call him Sungjongie, any longer. You lost all the rights when you cheated with that girl and with that Choi Minki.”

Myungsoo was taken aback when their leader mentioned him cheating with a girl. No one knows about it and he is sure that he had cut all his communications with that girl. He would brush it off this time, because his main priority is to see their maknae. And asking Sunggyu about that thing would give the leader more reasons in banning him from seeing their maknae.

“Hyung… please.”

“No. You will not bring yourself any closer to Sungjong… or to this hospital.”

“Please hyung…just this time. Just let me see him for the last time.”

Myungsoo didn’t realize that as he said those words, tears begun to fall from his eyes. Sunggyu had withdrawn his hands from the visual’s neck. Maybe it was because of the realization that it could be the last time that he would see their maknae.

“Hyung…please…let me see Sungjong.”

The visual said in a small voice as he crumpled on the floor in a kneeling position, hands tightly gripping the hem of Sunggyu’s shirt.

“Why? Tell me why…Kim Myungsoo? Tell me why should I let you?”

“Hyung… I… I …”

“You… What? You want to see him for the LAST TIME because you want to confirm if Sungjong will… He would…”

Sunggyu shouted emphasizing the word he wanted to avoid. He couldn’t even finish his statement. What he said to their visual was the fact that he wanted to deny.

It’s a fact that he can’t accept if it ever happen. That maybe it will be the last time that their maknae will be with them. That maybe Myungsoo is right, that it will be the last time that they could be with their maknae.

It’s a fact that he wanted to run away from, that their youngest brother is in that room, that he is in a thin line between life and death and any moment from now, INFINITE can lose their beloved maknae. And if fate decided that it wanted to play a game with them again, then the leader don’t know what will happen to them.

“Just don’t Myung… don’t come here again. Don’t mention Sungjong’s name again. And don’t let me see you again because I don’t know what I will do to you.”

Tears began to flow from Sunggyu’s eyes, erasing all the ill will that it contained earlier, as he removed the hands of their visual from his shirt. The leader did not spare to give him another glance as he marched away with Woohyun in tow.

“Kim Myungsoo, just do what Sunggyu-hyung told you if you still treasure your life because I will personally volunteer to send you to wherever hell you came from.”

Woohyun gnarled, fist clenched tightly, before going after their leader.

Myungsoo remained kneeling on the floor, tears drenching his shirt as it flowed continuously out of his eyes. But those threats did not hinder him from seeing their maknae because maybe it will be really the last time that Sungjong could be with them and he wanted to ask for forgiveness… for everything that he had done… for the pain and the turmoil that he had inflicted upon their maknae. He wanted to ask forgiveness before everything is too late. And maybe after that he can leave Seoul and disappear for good.

Once that Sunggyu and Woohyun were out from his sight, Myungsoo gathered himself together as he walked to his real destination. He prepared himself to be pounce on or to be pummel on the floor before he knock on the door. He would accept all the pain that the other members would inflict on him because he knew that his pain is nothing compared to the pain that he brought to their maknae.

However when the door open, the only thing that was thrown to him was the question,

Why?

A simply question that held the answer for everything.

Do you think L will really leave INFINITE?

And what do you think is running on L's mind? How about Sungyeol?

Will Sunggyu reveal the existence of the DVD?

Comment and Subscribe.

(I already started writing the next chapter so expect an update soon)

I miss you all.

Lovelots,

Rhay <3<3<3