Happy New Year Everyone!! My best wishes to all of you ^_^

Okay...I know I was absent for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNG time really. I am (again and always, I know I am being a pain :P) so sorry >_< Life problems are getting me busier than ever and I just got some vacation time and decided to write another chapie for this forgotten story :)

As always...I hope you enjoy reading so much :D

I love comments...And I'll always love them, even if they scold me for being so absent and for writing this piece in a hurry...all welcome :)

Jaejoong POV

Junsu…from that time…I didn’t see him…he just disappeared without a sign. Even with my high sensitive capabilities, I couldn’t find him or even sense his presence any closer. Najine and Nihan didn’t see him either since that day. They are still searching just as me…without any results. I wonder why he did that. I wonder what he had seen in his second vision that made him run away like this…I am scared…scared that he would think of sacrificing himself instead of me…I am scared of losing him…I am too used to his being beside me that I feel so empty now.

My father, of course, is thinking about executing his parents and scolds me every time he sees me. He even decided to prepare the army for any upcoming attack. He thinks Junsu went back to his country to start a war. But I now he didn’t…I have a feeling that he is rather in a great pain.

It is dark now…this is the third day of my sterile continuous searching. I sat beside the lake and took a deep breath…just for how much time do you intend to stay away like this Junsu-ya? I stared at the water for I don’t know how much time…it is so lonely. I stood up and walked my way back to my secret house in the woods…what if something had happened to him? What if he is dead that’s why I cannot sense his presence? No! I shook my head getting these scary thoughts out of my mind. I stopped and turned around…that place, where I met him at first, I remember that when he walked away from me, because I was there, I lost sign of his presence too…maybe he is there! I started running toward Tistane without even taking time to think about anything else other than arriving there and finding him. I thank God my source power is air and it allows me to move as fast as a human body can support.

I stopped when I reached that tree under which he found me years ago. I looked around, there was no one…my hopes felt all at once…but…here, I can feel his presence…nowhere and everywhere, not like the first time. It is like if I was inside his room…I can even sniff his sent in the air…just how come? What is happening? I walked beside the little river there…staring at the water that is hardly moving…I stepped inside the river and walked a little deeper…Junsu, loved to do that…I heard a noise and turned around…and couldn’t stop myself from running toward him. He was really standing in front of me. I grabbed his shoulders checking that he was real,

“Junsu-ya! Junsu, where have you been all this time? Why did you disappear that way? We were all worried about you! You can’t even imagine how much we’ve been searching…”

I stopped, seeing that he wasn’t showing any reaction toward my enthusiasm. He wasn’t smiling either…he was rather unhappy about my arrival.

“Junsu-ya? What is it? Are you made at me? Did you come here because you didn’t want to see me again?”

He took a deep breath. He was so tired, and his levels of energy were so low…but more importantly, when the moon lighted his face, I could see that he was in such bad state. He walked away from me and sat down beside the river. I followed him and sat beside him. The feeling between us…it has changed suddenly…why?!

“Junsu-ya…?”

He took another deep breath and took a little crystal medallion from his pocket. He gave it to me without even looking into my face,

“Jaejoong-nim…some of your mother’s energy…and soul are here. You can do whatever you want with it”

I looked at the medallion and at him with an open mouth…my mother??!

“But…how?...how?!”

“This portion of her energy is the reason of all what…shouldn’t have happened…between us. You…were feeling comfortable with me because…a part of her soul was inside me…you were actually feeling her presence…not mine”

His voice…was sad and desperate…is that true?! Between us…there should be hatred by destiny…not even affection existed?! I looked carefully at the thing in my hand…mother…she is here? But why was she even inside Junsu’s body?!! There must be a reason!

“Junsu-ya…I…don’t understand…was that your vision?!”

He just nodded, “Please…go back to your country now”.

“Junsu-ya…you are…running out of energy! What is happening to you again?!”

“Nothing…I am fine…just go back home…and don’t even consider me saving your life that day a favor…I probably did it because of your mother’s soul existing inside me”

“Junsu that has no meaning! You have my complementary energy after all, why?! And why would my mother’s aura go specifically inside your body while she could go to mine or father’s or whatever…there must be a reason why you were chosen”

“Yes there is!” He shouted, eyes full of tears, “There is Jaejoong-nim! So she can bring me to sacrifice and protect you that’s why!”

I was dazzled…I can feel his pain inside my veins…and piercing my heart so deeply. And I could feel his energy levels more than before…and they are decreasing so quickly…

“Junsu we can discuss all these things after. You are dying! Please take some of my energy and let us talk. I…”

“I want to die Jaejoong” he mumbled calmly, tears still running on his cheeks, “and I blocked the way so that no energy can access my body anymore. You can do nothing about it”

 All what I lived today was hard, but at the moment, I was completely chocked! I grabbed his shoulders and turned him to me; shaking his body severely,

“Just what the hell have you done, you crazy dump head! Why?! Break that wall and now! I am not letting you die!”

“It…cannot be broken” he just said, letting me go all crazy

“That cannot be! Every spell is breakable! You certainly know how to break it Junsu”

He smiled at me…bitterly, “Do you want me to live so desperately?! Why?!”

“Why?! Because I love you! That’s why!”

I didn’t lie…though the feeling of closeness isn’t the same anymore…I still feel something for him…I still want him to live and I still want to build a peaceful future with him…But he seemed so shocked by what I had said,

“Do you…still…love me? Even now?”

“what’s the difference! I loved you first, not my mother’s energy in you and I still love YOU not anything else or anyone else! I didn’t feel comfortable with you only because of my mother’s soul in you…but also because it is you Junsu-ya…and…I don’t want to lose you so early…please”

He smiled at me, “Thank you…But I am sorry… there is nothing we can do. I’ve gone through the purification process to get out your mother energy from my body…and bad things happened during that…I had to block the way of any entering aura…and I don’t know how to cancel that…it is already too late anyway”

He stood up and started walking. I stood up as well, staring at him as he moved away; do I have to just let him go like this?!! I would never see him again, or talk to him again?

“even…your dark energy can’t protect you now?” I asked him, pleading he would say yes but he nodded negatively instead. I felt my eyes becoming watery and my face turning so hot

“then where are you going Junsu!?”

“I want to visit Sera’s tomb” He said, calmly again, like if he was a bit happy about leaving this world…and leaving me…die…he will die Jaejoong…disappear forever and you can’t find him anywhere no matter how long you search! I couldn’t resist this thoughts…I am not ready to lose anyone yet…I ran to him and pulled him into the river. Because he was tired, he almost fell when I let go of his hand to pull off my top cloths,

“Now it is time for this complementary energy whatever to work!”

He was just staring at me, almost blankly, as I started forming an iyen sphere around us. He didn’t know I was learning how to use our complementary energies secretly every time we weren’t together. I actually wanted to make him a surprise and I am not mastering this skill totally yet, but it is time to use it anyway. The iyen sphere is a mixture of our two source power that will boost our energies and will allow me to transfer even quicker. Junsu was completely stunned as he saw the iyen cage form around us and looked at me with an open mouth,

“No, Jaejoong you cannot use this skill! I am not letting you!”

“I am using it already Junsu-ya…and I am not letting you interrupt me! I am not letting you die!”

“It is dangerous and my aura is blocked! Don’t you know that?!”

“I do…but, if you were to die, then let’s die together” I smiled. I don’t know why but I was sure of what I am doing.

“Jaejoong…”

“It is good to hear you say my name without any formalities” I said pulling him toward me and ing his entire top with one pull. I don’t know why but for our complementary energies to work, we need some skin-ship to happen…and as much as it can be. He stepped back from me bringing back the two parts of his top cloths together and holding them with his hands,

“I am not letting you go any further Jaejoong! If I have to…I will block all my energy canals…so nothing can get out as well”

I just smiled, “you can’t…You know how the iyen sphere works better than me. I just have to break the wall you’ve built and you will, willingly or unwillingly, receive the transfer of energy”

“But you can’t break it! Why are you so stubborn?!”

“I certainly can Junsu…Your levels of energy are too low for you to be able to stop me”

And with that, I got a scared look from him. He certainly felt that I was determinate, and he certainly felt his aura moving and reacting to my new iyen skill.

“No and no!” he shouted, moving back to the other side of the sphere and forcing the rest of his energy to create an icy wall between us, “You don’t even know the amount of pain you will endure if you do what you want to do” he continued, “even if I had to consume what is left of my energy to stop you, I will. I don’t you to endure that pain”

“Would it even compare to the pain I will feel for the rest of my life if I let you die?” I asked sure that it wouldn’t, but he answered differently,

“Yes it would be even worse. What am I to you anyway? After my death, you’ll be so busy ruling the two kingdoms together. You will, soon or late, forget about me and about the short time we lived together in”

“No, you’re wrong! You mean so much to me, and even now that you don’t have any of my mother’s energy, you still mean so much. I am ready to experience the pain of bringing you back to life no matter how big it is, but I am not ready to live the pain of letting you die any sooner”

I put my hand on the icy wall he created between us, knowing that he is really getting weak and cannot keep it any longer, but his eyes were pleading me not to destroy it, not to get any closer, not to use this method…pleading me so much. They were even getting red and teary. Is it that painful?

“Healing someone Jaejoong…” he begun “is not as easy as it seems when you watch someone do it. I am a healer, and my aura is specifically made to heal, but I still go through so much pain to cure even the slightest disease. Using iyen…you’ll try to heal me Jaejoong, and you are not a healer, not a transferor. You have no idea about the pain you will endure. Please stop it before it is too late”

“Junsu-ya…I would love to heal your soul too…if I can do so because, now more than before, I know how much pain you’ve gone through to heal me that day and to heal my halmeonie and to heal all those people I’ve hurt while attacking your kingdom…I just want to apologize to you because the guilt I feel is also so painful. Won’t you let me?”

He was crying…I don’t really know why, but he destroyed the icy wall himself letting me get closer to him. He also pulled off his top cloths himself and threw them aside. Were my words that affecting?! I smiled as he looked at me,

“If you want to access…” he begun, but I interrupted him, pulling him closer to me with one of my hands on his chest and the other in the middle of his back, “I know how to do that Junsu-ya. Just relax”

He was surprised, “when did you learn? And why do you always use itchy methods?”

I laughed, “Are you the one who is being shy now? And since you cannot move any of my energy into your body…I have to kiss you again”

He just smiled, “I know…you seem to like it…Am I your first kiss?”

“well yeah…if we can call it a kiss”

“But it is not…it is an energy transfer method” he reminded me, almost playfully.

“Just help me so that it works…please”

He put his hands on my chest like he did the first time while showing me that we are having complementary energies and nodded, “I’ll try…”

“thank you” With that, I leaned in, joining our lips together and started the transfer.

Now that we are in the middle of the process, I knew why Junsu didn’t want me to use the iyen…I never, for my entire life, felt such pain…If Junsu didn’t warn me at first, I certainly will think that I was dying. I feel a knife cutting all my veins so slowly that it hurts each upcoming second more than the one before it, and my heart is so compressed and I began struggling to breath. I was trying so hard not to make Junsu feel what I was feeling. He would break the transfer if he felt that I am in such pain. I tried to remind myself of the potential suffering I will live if I can’t save Junsu instead of thinking about my current pain. Nonetheless, I couldn’t neglect what was going inside my body…did Junsu suffer that much every time he healed somebody? Did I give him such pain? Did I make him feel such pain when I asked him to heal halmeonie? Did I cause him such pain every time I attacked one of his kingdom cities? I couldn’t help my tears. I didn’t even feel them running on my cheeks like a river until Junsu tried to break the link between us. Maybe he thought that I couldn’t resist the pain of healing, but actually, it was the pain of guilt that made me cry, and I certainly wouldn’t let him interrupt me no matter what. I shrunk the sphere to tie us even more, forbidding him to take a step back. I want to share his pain…I want to! I felt his tears too. I don’t want him to cry for such bad person. I am…a monster. I caused him so much pain, and still, he didn’t want me to suffer…If we live after this…I swear that I’ll take every bit of pain he may feel to myself and endure it instead of him…I swear!

“Omma! Omma!” I heard a voice in my head. It resembles Junsu’s voice so much, but it is younger…I see this place where we are now. His mother is standing in front of the river and it is morning. And Junsu came running to her. He was young, maybe four years old or so. He pulled her long dress trying to get her attention,

“omma! Omma! Can you come and play with me?”

His mother took her dress out of his little fingers and yelled at him, “Don’t you see that I am thinking Junsu-ya! And why did you even leave your room? Go back to it and never leave it again or I’ll punish you so hard!”

He pouted, “but I want to play…”

“You are not allowed to! You will hurt people! When you stop being the devil you are, you will be allowed to play”

“but I swear I won’t hurt anybody. Please play with me just a little”

“I won’t. I don’t know what sin have I committed to have a child like you! Go back to your room!”

“You are the evil one wrench old woman! You hate me!” his voice suddenly changed and his hair color became blond. I don’t know what he used but his mother started struggling with her breathing as if someone was trying to kill her. Then before something bad happens, another woman came running and took Junsu in her arms. She kept soothing him and telling him that everything was okay and that she loves him even if the whole world didn’t and that she will play with him instead, every time he want to. After a short while, Junsu’s hair color became dark again and he calmed down. His mother too, stopped struggling with her breathing. She was angry but the other woman gave her a sign, telling her not to scold Junsu who began crying and complaining about everybody hating him. The woman withdrew from the hug and cupped his face, “but I love you so much Susu-ya. Am I not good enough for your highness? Am I not good enough at playing games?”

“you are…too good. But I want omma and appa to play with me too”

“They will Susu. They are just angry about problems in the country that’s why they yell at you, ok?”

I think that woman was the famous Sera. She is the one who took care of Junsu when he was young…and apparently, she was the only one that loved him when he had only his dark energy. But, he didn’t seem to be that evil…He was reacting to her affection and he calmed down when she hugged him…maybe he wasn’t evil at all. He was rather suffering because of the way everyone else treated him, and that pain shook his dark aura.

I was, now, standing in front of another scene. The family seemed to have a trip in the forest next to the river. There were also other people, maybe some members of the king’s and the queen’s families. There were also other children, but every time Junsu tried to play with one of them, his/her parents as well as Junsu’s forbid him, claiming he may hurt somebody. After many tries, Junsu gave up and sat under one of the tries, far from them and yelled, “Sera will come and play with me instead, and she will not play with anybody else except me” 

And soon enough Sera appeared and Junsu run to jump on her arms. She kissed his cheeks and asked him if he was enjoying the trip,

“Nobody wants to play with me” he pouted

“Oh I will play with you honey. Anyway, they cannot do what I can do, isn’t it?”

Junsu giggled in her arms and the other children seemed to get jealous, especially after seeing that Sera special skills can make playing more enjoyable than their servants and parents can. One girl whispered in the queen’s ear, and the latest called Sera and asked her to play with the other children as well. However, Sera was clever enough to put a condition, which is to play together with Junsu as well. The king frowned and reminded the young woman that this was so dangerous, but she stuck to her condition. Junsu was watching the scene from his place and seemed so upset that they want to take Sera from him. While Sera was arguing with the king, Junsu’s hair color changed again and the area around them got darker. Sera seemed to notice and looked at Junsu, but it was too late. The trees above the guests were all cut out within a second and felt on their heads, making them get badly injured. The only place that was excluded is where Sera and the king were standing. Sera run to Junsu and pleaded him to lift the trees off people, but he wasn’t intending to. The king tried to do that using his aura but she ordered him to stop and let Junsu do it himself. The king was about to argue with her but he risqued losing his life given the looks his child was addressing him. Sera turned again to Junsu and asked him,

“Please Susu-ya, just for me. Don’t you love me? I do everything you want, so can’t you do something if I ask you to? uh? Please”

“No! they all hate me and they want me to be lonely! They want to have everything. I only have you and they want me to lose you too. They deserve it!”

“Susu-ya…I wasn’t intending to leave you. Didn’t you see me arguing with your father? I love you and I wasn’t going to play with them and leave you alone anyhow. Please Susu-ya, only for me, lift those trees. They are suffering too much. I know you do as well, but please, seeing anyone suffer makes me hurt. Do you want me to be hurt?”

Junsu nodded negatively and she smiled. Indeed, the trees started moving slowly and the king helped the ones that were under them to move a bit. Then the trees were dropped away. Sera hugged Junsu and thanked him. She kissed his forehead and asked him permission to heal them from their injuries. He just nodded as his hair color returned to normal. After healing all the guests, who started complaining about their cloths getting dirty and about the kind of education given to Junsu, Sera returned to carry the little sad boy in her arms and kiss him again,

“You are so ignorant!” she said to all the complaining people, “My Susu is so well educated. You are the ones who are not”

The king and the queen were SO ANGRY about the way she addressed the whole noble crowd, but Junsu was so happy she defended him. I am sure now, that Sera is the only one who knew Junsu’s real nature. He was judged because of his dark aura so unfairly. He wasn’t really evil. He also had a good side in him, and Sera’s love was its stimulant. Junsu loved her and acted as such, but he always felt that he was unwanted by his parents and relatives; thus, he was acting evil with them to make them feel his pain.

My vision changed again and now Junsu was older. He seemed to be fifteen years old or so, and he was sitting in the same place we are in now. Sera approached him as he was meditating and closed his eyes with her two hands,

“who is the sudden visitor?”

Junsu smiled, “A beautiful young woman called Sera”

She took her hands off and gave him a back hug, “true! Can Sera know about what her lovely Susu-ya is thinking so much?”

“He is thinking about you” he giggled

“really?” She asked smiling, “about how beautiful and attractive I am?”

He laughed, “maybe…”

“Oh come on!” she pouted and withdrew from the hug. Junsu got up and faced her,

“I was thinking…about a way to make my energy protective”

“protective?”

“yes…It is only good to hurt people, but I want to use it to protect them too”

“Do you have someone you really want to protect Junsu-ya?” she teased, “are you in love?”

He giggled, “Yes…I am in love with you my princess”

“Oh…my prince! Don’t you know how long I’ve waited for this day, in which you will confess your feeling to me” she acted, and they both laughed. But I knew he really wanted to protect her, not anyone else…The king and the gueens came by and asked,

“why are you laughing so hard?”

Junsu seemed happy to see them, “Appa, Omma, you came as well?”

“Yes, and we brought some snacks. Let’s have a meal together” said his mother who seemed more affectionate toward him now. I think Sera succeeded in making them realize that Junsu wasn’t that bad…

Quickly, another scene appeared in front of me. It is inside some kind of a castle. Sera was hugging Junsu so tightly as they were sitting on the cold ground. He was murmuring “I am sorry…I am so sorry” and sobbing so painfully. Even though she seemed dying, she was smiling and hushing him,

“I am not angry at you Susu-ya, at all. I even don’t want you to feel any bit of pain about it. I don’t want you to blame yourself either. You didn’t intend to hurt me, and if you want me to sleep peacefully in my tomb, please stay happy and don’t think about me with guilt in your heat. Take this…as my last wish Susu, okay?”

He didn’t say yes, and if she lived, she would know that he is still thinking of her so dearly. He only clung to her more, and sobbed even harder. Sera was calm and peaceful. She knew she will leave this world soon, but she seemed to think of Junsu more than herself. She knew he will be feeling guilty for the rest of his life…

My traveling inside Junsu’s memories was finished. I could feel the unbelievable pain again, but I could also feel the flow of my energy spreading in Junsu’s body…the transfer was successful!

He pushed me back a bit and I knew he was feeling all right. I looked at him smiling. I was really happy,

“You are alive and fine, little dump head!”

“It was so painful, wasn’t it?” He asked me, concerned about my weak state. I said nothing. I just hugged him as tightly as I could and kissed his hair,

“I am so happy I didn’t lose you Junsu-ya”

And that was the last thing I remembered saying before passing out.

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a fine bed, and Junsu was sleeping on a comfy chair beside me. I smiled as his cute peaceful face that regained his rosy color. I tried to get up but I almost yelled in pain, making Junsu jump awake,

“Are you okay?” he asked me in a scared voice.

“I am fine…” I said calmly throwing my head back on the pillow.

“I am so sorry…”

“shhh…if you say that to me again, I’ll kill you”

“Do you need anything?”

“I need you to sleep beside me rather than on that chair, can you?” I said playfully, but seriously enough.

He smiled, “okay…your body will ach for a period of time, better get used to it”

“it is okay Junsu. I am happy enough with you being all right”

He smiled even wider as he laid his body beside me on the bed. We both stared at the roof for a while,

“Is that your room?”

“Yes…you like it?”

“It is beautiful. You have such taste. Maybe you should help me redecorate my room”

He chuckled, “I’ll try”

“Was my mother the one that told you that I loved you because of her soul existing in your body?”

Junsu was surprised by the question, “did you get a vision when you were transferring to me?”

“Yes…but I just guessed that”

“uh…what did you see in your vision?”

“you, when you were a child, with Sera”

“umm…”

“It was my mother who told you so, isn’t it?”

“umm…”

“You were so hurt when she did, don’t you? I was the only person that saw your good side first and judged you according to it, then you were told that I didn’t like you because of your good side and that it didn’t really matter. It must have hurt you a lot”

“It is not important anymore Jaejoong…”

I moved my hand, though it was painful, to take his. And as he looked at me, I told him sincerely,

“I even love you more now Junsu-ya”