im only updating this story because of pockyesh's comment on my blog...^^ otherwise i wouldn't bother = = regardless, thanks for sticking with me thought i can tell this story *sighs*

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Dear Diary,

Why is it that life is so harsh on me?

When I thought that maybe I could now have a boyfriend, God comes down and ruins it for me.

I don’t know what to do anymore…

My life is so confusing right now…

I stopped writing.

I didn’t know how to continue this entry.

What happened?

I stared at the writing on the page for a second before it began to fade.

I knew that I wasn’t hallucination this time but I wasn’t about to tell the world that my journal could talk to me.

So I just continued to write.

My parents want to move to Korea now…

Their so weird!

Why do they keep on wanting to migrate to places!

I’m in year 10 now! I have my PSAT soon and it isn’t the best time for me to move!

And plus, I don’t know anything about Korean schooling!

I mean, I know fluent Korean but still! My life is going to be so ing hard!

Flo doesn’t want to go either…so my parents might reconsider.

I hope they do.

I don’t want to leave my friends again and go to a new place and make new friends.

I already did it too many times in my life that I want to stop doing it now!

Why does my life have to be so difficult and complicated?

And now, besides the possibility of moving to Korea, I’m also facing the possibility of losing my only guy friend in the States that I feel comfortable with!

Darren!

Oh, my God, do you know what he did to me?

Or more like, what he WANTS to do with me?

My phone beeped.

I sighed, put down my pen and checked to see who was texting me on my small blue Pantech Pursuit.

1 New Text Message

Darren

I stared at the screen for a second and then pressed the close button, ignoring his text message.

I picked up my pen and put it to the paper but my mind was blank.

I forgot where I was up to and I stared at my last line, my mind not being able to pick up where I left off.

Look at his text.

I stared at the words.

Strangely though, I trusted the diary.

I picked up my phone, touched the screen at the bottom where there was an inbox sign and went to his name and check what he had texted me.

Chaeri…I don’t know what’s the matter with you these few days…what did I do? Cyndi keeps on giving me death glares every time she sees me in the hall way, Angel keeps on trying to trip me every time she sees me too and Jackie is always clenching her fist around me and biting her lips with a look that could kill. Seriously honey, what’s wrong?

I stared at the text and I couldn’t help but smile.

My friends were truly the best.

I replied.

You didn’t go and talk to Jason kim did u?

Instantly, I got a reply.

I don’t even noe why I need to talk to him!

I stared.

Go have a chat with him first and then come back to me. If by then, u still don’t noe what you did wrong than the only thing I can say to u is that your too dumb.

I put down my Pursuit and was about to continue writing when my phone beeped again.

I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Did you like the flowers I gave you? They were pretty right? I instantly thought of you when I saw them and I just HAD to buy them for you. Did you like them?

I couldn’t believe myself.

I knew that writing was familiar.

It was Darren!

I left his text there, and didn’t reply but instantly went back to my journal entry.

It was Darren!

It was Darren this whole time!

Now I’m pissed!

On Monday, when I went to get my books for first and second period I found a bouquet of flowers under my locker section and this note there…

I could tell the writing was familiar…BUT WHY DIDN’T I REALISE EARLIER THAT IT WAS DARREN’S?!

I’m so damn stupid!

And I even put those flowers in a vase I bought at an antique store for my mum!

I can’t believe this, I’m going to dump them in the bin when I’m done with this journal…

Why must life be so hard for me?!

I never hated flowers before, I was neutral towards them but now, I absolutely and completely hate them and detest them!

I feel like going over to his house now and punch him until he faints!

(Not that that’s every going to happen or anything but…SERIOUSLY!)

I’m never going to talk to him ever again...i still can’t believe that I’m so dumb and actually thought he was good looking!

Omg...did I really just say I thought he was good looking?!

What the hell is wrong with me?!

I dropped my pen onto the desk and putting my elbows on my desk, I covered my face with my hands.

“Why...why did it have to be him...why him of all people?”

I never ended up finishing my journal entry because I knew, that if I really was to finish that entry, I was REALLY going to pour my heart into it.

I ended up hiding the journal in a box and dug a ditch and put it inside.

I know, that sounds really fake and you’re probably thinking “as if!” but I’m being serious.

This journal...this journal really isn’t good for me.

I stood up, dusted my hands on my old jeans and was about to walk away when I heard a voice.

“You’ll come back for me again.”

I rotated a full 360 degrees but couldn’t find the source as to where the voice came from.

I shrugged.

“I hope not...”