“’Night you guys!”

I said to Angel and Jackie as I walked out of their room and closed the door behind me.

I walked into my room where Cyndi was already in bed.

“I feel like their mum, tucking them in bed!”

We both laughed and I crawled into bed beside her.

I closed the lamp and darkness engulfed us.

Neither of us spoke for a second but Cyndi broke it.

“Do you love him?”

I knew who she meant by “him” but I wasn’t about to admit it.

“Who’s him?” I asked as innocently as I could.

I heard Cyndi sigh.

“If you don’t want to answer just don’t answer. You don’t have to act all innocent and as if you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

This was Cyndi.

She could always tell when I was acting.

Which was sort of my fault because she knows me so well that she knows when I’m not me.

I sigh.

“Fine. I’ll answer your question.”

-SILENCE-

She waited for my answer.

“So…? What’s your answer?”

I sigh again.

“I really don’t know actually.”

I heard he toss in her side of the bed.

“I…don’t know. I mean, yeah, I can talk to him and tell him what I feel and stuff but I mean…my heart never quickens when I’m with him you know? It’s not that kind of a feeling…well…except once anyways…but that was only once so-“

“Once counts.”

I sigh a third time.

Cyndi was trouble.

“Fine then. I love him. Happy?”

“No, not particularly.”

“Oh, my God! What the hell do you want to get out of me?!”

She didn’t speak for a second.

“Open the lights.”

“What?”

“Open the lights.” She repeated.

I cocked and eyebrow in the darkness and then reached up to open the lamp beside my bed.

When the lights were opened, she sat up cross legged.

I followed suit and sat in front of her.

“Now, answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Do you love him?”

I sighed.

I seem to be sighing a lot lately.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

I stared at Cyndi.

“How do you know if I like him or not?! It’s not like you’re me…”

She smiled wryly.

“Honey, you know, when you’ve told me every single one of your secrets, it gets easy to know what you’re thinking about from time to time. And I know that you’re just saying I don’t know is because you don’t want to face the truth and face the fact that you actually, love Darren.”

She said his name with venom.

“Wow, you might actually know me better than myself then!”

I said as a joke but just earned a stern glare from Cyndi.

I flinched and fussed on my blankets.

“Fine, fine!!! Goodness! So I might fancy Darren but I don’t love him!”

She was still staring at me.

I stared back at her.

I don’t exactly remember how it became a staring competition but it became a staring competition.

Cyndi was the first one to break the competition.

“Fine. Say it the way you want to say it but I’m 100% positive that you love him.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked at me as if I was a 5 year old kid.

“What?!”

She shook her head.

“I can’t believe you don’t even know yourself yet!”

“What?!” I asked again.

“If you didn’t love him, why did you cry so badly when you saw him with the two girls?”

I didn’t answer.

Probably because I didn’t know how to answer that question.

Or maybe, deep inside, I knew she was right.

Either way, I didn’t answer.

“You cried so badly because he had hurt you. You love him Chaeri.”

I stared at the blankets and fiddled with my hands.

“Deny it all you want girl, but I’m telling you, Angel, Jackie and I all think that you have it for him.”

I looked up at Cyndi.

“Bad.”

The word hung in the air as I took in what she said.

“But-“

She held up her hand.

“I just wanted to tell you that. You can think about it and ask yourself if you really love him or not, but I’m telling you, the three of us all think that you love him. It might be that we’re wrong, but I’m 99% sure I’m right. Think about it.”

She lay back down on the bed and pulled the covers over her.

“Close the lights please.”

After a few seconds, I reached over and closed the lights.

I lay back onto my side of the bed and pondered what Cyndi had just said to me.

“Do I love Darren…?” 

***

@everyone: im thinking about deleting this story but i probably will still continue writing it privately. i havent thought about it much yet. just enjoy this chapter while it lasts...