Tell me…Is this really love?

     No…It was love.

     A one sided love.

     Drunk with her presence, I suffered from a hangover. A beautiful hangover. An intoxication that had me drunk every night with thoughts of her. I was coming down from my high, but I needed more of her to bring me back to my sanity. She was my addiction and my rehab. 

     She was a story I had fallen in love with.

HanEul gave another long audible sigh, “When you find the ones you like, you just don’t want the story to end, I guess, and you want to keep reading it. When the find the one you like, you just stop looking. ”

      I found the one I liked. The one that I wanted the story to go on for forever was her. I wanted to keep her and I was done looking.

“Sometimes you’ll just now,” our eyes met once more and her words grew inaudible as she spoke, “Once…you see it.”

       I did know. The moment I saw her I knew that she would be something special to me than just some girl in the library.

She fiddled around with her book thinking my question over in her head, “Well, like I said before; you just know. Then while you read it, you can’t put it down and have to keep reading. You want to know more about the characters and what happens to them. Then, while you’re not reading it, it can sometimes be all you think about because you want to keep reading. Then when it’s over…You just can’t seem to forget about it and if it’s really a good book, you reread it over and over again. Oh, and then when you read other books you compare it to that one and just can’t get into it.”

       I couldn’t let go of HanEul. I had to know her and then learn more about her. When she wasn’t with me, I still thought about her but that’s all gone now. But why is it that no one else matters? No one else holds the same attraction. I don’t see other girls anymore because she is the only one I can think about no matter how hard I try.

She chuckled slightly and sighed, “I guess those kinds of stories just seem more real to me…Not everyone gets that fairytale ending where they live happily ever after.”

      I finally understand her. There is no happy ending in real life. Reality is not the same as fantasy, no matter how realistic it may seem; fiction is fiction. I was a hopeless romance that would never see the ending I had hoped for. I didn’t even want an ending, I just wanted her with me.

      Thank you Nicolas Sparks… Thank you for making love seem so real yet so twisted.

      Love… Love is like the wind? Then heartbreak is like a tornado or an earthquake. It destroys all life and hope for anything good. Shaking up the very ground that you once thought would be strong. Destroying everything, but the memories of the things that once was. Leaving only pain and suffering.

But no… Love is like a book.

      It draws a person in with its outer appearance and keeps them with its stories. Found by looking for the one that stands out to, but maybe it comes like a surprise. in, it becomes an obsession of knowing more and wanting more. The story it tells plays with the emotions. Both are an up and down rollercoaster that pulls at heartstrings wanting to stir up every emotion from joy to pain. Not knowing what happens next but wanting to move forward. The story already written, moving forward only seemed natural. It takes time to forget, but in a way it will never be forgetten.

       A book, love is a book that is different to everybody. It can have an ending or it just keeps going.

      Who taught me this? Where did this all come from?

       Her.

      She taught me this metaphorically through our first meetings. Telling me about books, when I now think of my love for her. They were the same though one could be seen while the other could be felt.

     “I love you HanEul,” I whispered to myself as I sat alone in my apartment, holding onto my last bottle of soju.

       I took the last sip of the alcohol and drifted off into some place in my mind. I was drunk. Not love drunk, but drunk. I was on a double high. Alcohol and heartbreak just don’t mix. True emotions are only amplified making it seem all the more painful.

     The three words I’ve been dying to say, are now killing me on the inside.

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I'm so trolling you all hahahaha

Thank you Thank you for all the comments T.T I'm so touched that I've touched you, but really I am. I'm happy I can pull you into the story like that.

Yes, I am a hopeless romance that has watched way too many korean dramas, romance movies, and read way too many romance novels. esp by Nicolas Spark haha but figured that out by now.

Myungsoo is the other man in the story, hahaha had to bring in my love...I'm cheating on him and infinite with exo

I wrote it from SuHo's pov to be different. You don't get a lot of romance stories from the guys POV.

Bias list:

1. Chen

2. SuHo

3. D.O

Forbidden Bias list:

1. Kai

2. LuHan

HAHA I have two list for every kpop boy band