I hate her.

Because of her, I can’t move on.

Because of her, I can’t help anyone.

I can’t help the person most important to me.

I can’t help myself.

I hate her for all of that.

I hate her for making me smile.

I hate her for making me laugh.

I hate her for changing herself.

I hate her…for hurting me all over again.

But because of her, I…

“Yuya-kun, your assignment, please?”

Snap back to reality.

“Oh…um…” I dug into my bag. “Argh…shimatta. I forgot. I’ll pass tomorrow. Sorry.”

My classmate Haruma looked at me quizzically. “Oh, right…” Then he walked away and gave the papers to the teacher. Then the bell came. I don’t know why but, I want it to continue ringing…

“Ne, Yuya-kun.”

…so that I wouldn’t hear anything else and drown in its noise.

I saw Maki go outside the classroom with Yui. I turned back to Haruma.

“Yeah?”

He sat on my table, eating a curry bread. “You’ve been…down lately.”

I faked a smile. “What do you mean?”

He took a bite. “Well, you’ve been moping around lately…since Sunday.”

I just stared at him. “Uh…it’s nothing. Don’t mind me.” “And, I haven’t seen you and Horikita-san lately. Did the two of you fight?”

I closed my eyes. And sighed. And brought out a sandwich. And took a bite. And looked at him again. “Not really.”

“I see. I remember reading a manga once…” “Haruma-kun, don’t start your manga theories with me.” “The boy and girl fought about a third party, you know? And then…in the end, the girl realizes…”

He’s not listening. Finally the bell rang.

Because of her, I…

Class took forever. I just looked outside the window till classes ended. So…boring. Not being able to help her these past few days…

“Rise!”

…is…

“Bow!”

…boring.

Everyone headed outside the classroom immediately, except me. I just looked out the window, the sky slowly turning into an autumn color. It looked nice but…it feels wrong somewhere.

Because of her, I…

Suddenly the door slowly slid open.

“Maki!”

I turned around.

“…Tegoshi-kun.”

Well…I thought it was her. But…it’s Sayu, wearing her school’s uniform with pigtails on her head.

“Oh, hi.” “Hello.”

She smiled at me, with that sunshiny smile of hers again that I used to love. Well I USED to.

“You…thought I was Maki-san…”

I scratched my head. “My bad, I forgot that she opens doors without poise…” She laughed. “Haha, she’d be sad if she heard you say that.” She sat on a chair. …Maki’s chair.

“So, how are you and your boyfriend?”

She lowered her head slightly. Just slightly that if we weren’t alone here, I wouldn’t have noticed it. “Yeah we…broke up.”

“…Why are you telling me this?”

She held her cell phone tightly. “We fought. I dumped him.”

Because of her, I…

“Tegoshi…do you want to give us a second try?”

I stood there stiffly, still taking in the words she said, trying to make the gears of my head to turn and work.

“Sayu, why…?”

She stood up and took a few steps towards me.

“Because, I didn’t want to make that same mistake again.”

She held my hand.

“And that mistake was letting you go.”

I looked outside the window and saw Maki walking towards the gate…with Koike-senpai. I smiled and shook my head.

I turned back to Sayu. “Ne, Sayu…”

She tilted her head a bit, staring into my eyes with her cheeks colored.

“Gomen.”

I let go of her hand.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t…want to make the same mistake again, too.”

I bowed. I didn’t want to see her reaction. Yes, it was a mistake from the beginning. Because of her, I…

I rushed out of the room.

…I realized that Maki was the right one for me.