~ The First Movement ~
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Chapter Two - Canon

Sweat was merciless running down my temples while the sun shone down with unrelieved intensity.
I regretted to take my black leather jacket with me which I used to wear in my hometown.
Right after the sun came out I already doffed everything that I could dispense and hoped I would survive the day.
But it wasn’t my fault that the weather forecast didn’t include the sadistic nature of the sun in the noon – and of course it wasn’t that important to mention that there wouldn’t be any clouds at the sky at all.
The Nature seemed to not want to cooperate with my daily plans by suddenly changing the weather from cold to very warm – very, very warm to be precise.
If it wasn’t for Jinhee I would probably sitting at home, unpacking the last moving boxes and cool myself down with sweet ice cream.
A few days ago Jinhee asked me – or maybe I should better say begged me – to accompany her at some kind of fanmeeting.
I wasn’t her first choice – I knew that, but she didn’t want to bother me right after I moved to Seoul.
And I actually had no idea about fanmeetings or this group she wanted to meet in general – but it would be a nice, new experience.
At least I told that to myself.

“Sorry that I have to bother you”, Jinhee apologized again, making a really grateful face expression, “but Sohyun got sick and I didn’t know who else I could ask.”
She shifted her weight from one foot to another, trying to hide how exciting she was.
We were standing in a long line, encircled by a lot girls from different ages, waiting for something to happen.
“It’s fine. I don’t really fit in but at least I can help you out.”
I slightly smiled, taking a look at the long line which got even longer from minute to minute.
Friendship was very important to me – and for my friends I even bore the stupid sun.
The heat was almost unbearable, forcing the growing line of fans to step in the small shadows from time to time which keep on disappearing.
Most of the girls fanned themselves some fresh air and hoped of a small breath of cold wind – but it wasn’t likely to happen.
At least I already gave up the hope for that.

“So why are we standing here since…”, I started to talk and took a fast glance an my watch “…8 hours and getting ourself cooked in this heat?”, I asked her.
With my wrist I tried to get rid of some sweat, pressing myself on the slightly cooler wall while raising my eyebrow in expectation.
“Because we wouldn’t be in the front otherwise. We came so early in the morning, but we are only in the middle of the line!”
She pouted and poked my side.
“I know you aren’t familiar with MBLAQ, but why don’t you give it a try? You love music. There is yet to exist a group which you wouldn’t like.”
I know I couldn’t discuss this topic with her – especially not today.
You didn’t have to be a genius to see how obsessed she was with this group – even though I didn’t know them.

Ever since I was small I listened to all kind of music.
My parents thought it would be essential for my education and of course it would assist my understanding in music.
Jinhee was right – I loved every kind of music. I never made a difference.
But because I was busy playing violin and studying I wasn’t that familiar with modern music.
Of course I enjoyed it while listening to radio, at parties or at a friend’s house – but I couldn’t relate them.
And I hadn’t  much pocket money to buy myself CDs too.

“Well, I can give it a try. But only for you.”
I put up a small, playful grin on my lips and started to tickle her a bit.
Even though it was hot and the girls around us were excited enough to make everyone insane I had my fun.
I didn’t really understand why they were all so nervous or why I was even standing here - but I didn’t care at this moment.
Jinhee tried her best to make me familiar with MBLAQ – but she talked so fast that it was really hard to follow her.
It was almost afternoon and the crowd of fans got larger.
Sometimes they even started pointless screaming but it was somehow amusing for me.
“You are right, this is quite a nice new experience”, I said to Jinhee and started to secretly pointing out to one of these fans who were standing close to the entrance.
“I never saw so many girls with special clothing tastes.”
She started to laugh about my comment and pushed my side for it.
“Ah, that’s rude Sangmi – but you’re right.”
“You know that I always say what I’m thinking”, I simply replied. “And it’s not rude because they didn’t hear it. You know I would never say such a thing to someone’s face if I don’t know them.”

We watched the crowd and even I got excited – I didn’t know why.
I wasn’t a fan, I didn’t know them – neither their faces nor their names.
But being in such a large crowd was feeling somehow right.
When the staff members started to open the building the fans pushed the line forward and I walked with Jinhee at my side.
The place inside was really cramped which wasn’t that supportive for cooling down after the heat.
Even here was the air quite warm and I saw the sweat on everyone’s foreheads.
It was probably rude to not to have the behavior of the fans here– even though I wasn’t one of them.
I tried to act like everyone else – I just copied Jinhee’s excitement a bit.
The fans behind us pushed us even closer, making me wondering when the fanmeeting will really start.
I wasn’t impatient, but we’ve waited for such a long time now.

When the screams started I knew that it was time.
I kept silent, watching Jinhee while shouting some kind of fanchants – at least it was something like that for me.
Seeing her happy face made my happy and I knew that helping her out was the right choice.
The members got somehow through the loud fans, making their way to the small platform where they were supposed to sit down.
From my place I could barely see the platform, but it was enough to see parts of their heads.
I tried to remember their names which Jinhee told me earlier but I couldn’t relate them to anyone.
My ears got hit by the loud sound level and I tried to withstand the feeling on putting my hands on my ears.
But it got even louder when the young men bowed down, quickly waved and introduced themselves.
I tried to protect myself a bit from the crowd, pressing myself at Jinhee and stared forward.
It was pointless trying to learn their names now even though I looked at their faces when they introduced themselves.
Somehow I had the feeling that some of them were familiar…

It was quite interesting to experience the fanmeeting.
The young men talked a lot, letting the fans making suggests and reacted to their shouts.
I really haven’t expected such a heartwarming handling – I saw their smiles and I saw how much Jinhee enjoyed this.
Somehow I started to understand why she was so obsessed with them.
There was something in their interaction with their fans that made me believe that they were kind-hearted and honest.
But the feeling that I’ve met them before wasn’t going away – no, after the first thirty minutes I was almost sure about it.
It was ridiculous.
Today was my first time meeting them and the first day Jinhee told me about them.
Maybe I accidentally watched some kind of CF and didn’t memorize it? Maybe.
I couldn’t be sure about it.
My thoughts latched on this unsure feeling, making it almost impossible to properly watch the event.
It was still unbearable hot in this place, filling my mind with other things.

After an hour the young men sat down and I envied them for it.
Not because they could sit – more likely because of the staff members who were behind them and fanned air to them with a big fan.
At this moment I really wished to be a staff member as well – I didn’t care if I only hold a fan.
It would be at least a small, cool blow on my warm skin.

I still hadn’t managed to recognize them and it totally hooked me.
Where the hell did I know them?

But then I knew it when I listened to this voice again.
It came unexpected while I was turning my head to Jinhee, asking what will come next.
Instantly I turned my head to the platform again, listening to the voice in my ear.
I was sure. It was the same voice.
The member who was sitting in the middle sung an unfamiliar song with a smile, exactly with the playful tone which the young man in the café had.
But it was impossible – it could only be my imagination.
His voice was clear and I felt some kind of honesty in it.
 Then he abruptly ended it with a deeper, playful voice - a signal that this was only a joke.
Okay, I was probably totally insane.
It made absolutely no sense.

“Sangmi, are you alright?”, Jinhee asked right beside me, giving me a small clap on my arm.
I tried to control my face expressions again so that my friend didn’t notice that something was wrong.
To explain what I thought to see would be embarrassing.
“I am”, I lied, trying to focus on her face.
It was really stupid to think and worry about these things.
I was probably just really close to insanity.
“Can you please get my album signed?”, she asked with a begging voice.
I winked and looked at her with a confused face expression, raising an eyebrow at the same time.
“Why?”,  I asked.
“You don’t have an album so you can have mine. I don’t want to go up – just tell them my name and everything is fine.”
She seemed to be serious – but I wasn’t eager to go there as well.
I sighed and forced a light smile on my lips.
“You are such a coward”, I jokingly meant and poked her cheeks.
Maybe I could encourage her to get up on her own at least this was the best plan I had.
Even if the absurd case should be true that two of them are the young men from the café she should be fine.
They didn’t saw her face – but they saw mine.
“Oh please, Sangmi!”
Before I could open my mouth to say something again she already pulled something out of her handbag.
“Just go up like everyone. They will look for their page on their own.”
Okay, I was in trouble.
She practically forced me to hold her Album of ‘Blaq%Ver’, giving me no other option than going up.

Well, I could do this – it was probably really only my imagination.

Jinhee shoved me forward, and I started to line up for the signatures.
I moved almost automatically.
From a close up view I was even surer that I knew at least two of them.
They had exactly the same voice which started ringing in my head like a bad, unfortunate memory.
The jawline fitted perfectly as well, but I couldn’t be sure.
Or at least I didn’t want to have right.
 
When I reached the first one who I thought to know he didn’t even look up to me.
“Name?”, he asked, reaching out for Jinhee’s album.
“Jinhee”, I replied, trying my best to sound neutral.
He couldn’t know my real name – so he didn’t asked for it.
The young man opened the page of ‘Mir’ and signed it before he handed it back to me.
For the first time he looked up, giving me his hand with a smile.
Okay, this was common I guessed.
The next one was no problem too.
He signed the page with ‘Seungho’, acting exactly the same like everyone else.

But the middle one was a big problem.
He was the one with this incredibly beautiful voice and I was really sure that he was the one I’ve met before.
I still tried to act neutral, for the sake of Jinhee’s autograph.
His face didn’t change when he saw me.
He simply took the album and asked for my name like everyone else – nothing special.
“Jinhee”, I replied again, trying to avoid his gaze.
After he opened the page for ‘G.O’ he began to sign it.
His left hand flow over the paper and he took his time.
I didn’t really watched what he was doing and just stared at the staff member behind him who obviously was exhausted from fanning the whole time.
When the one who called himself ‘G.O’ gave me back Jinhee’s album he commonly bowed before giving me his hand.
I automatically shook it, watching in his deep brown eyes for one moment before I moved to the next one.

This was awkward.
Either it was my sadistic imagination or he just had a perfect pokerface.
I finished collecting the autographs, relieved that I had all.
My feet moved forward to the exit and I looked through the pages of the album.
Just in case that I haven’t forgotten anything.

Everything was fine.
I looked for the first time closely at the autograph that G.O made, seeing his two lines in the middle of one of his photos.
In my eyes it was a bit unoriginal and almost funny when I compared them among each other.
I wanted to laugh, making jokes with Jinhee about it but then I saw what was writing on the bottom of the page.

“Thank you for telling me that I have a beautiful voice.”