I am soooooo sorry... But you probably don't want to hear that. I was so excited. I started this chapter right after I posted the last one and I was already about 500 words in after a day of work. I was thinking I was going to get to post again in like 5 days, but then I got stuck. I'm sorry but it happens. I'm gonna be better about posting now, though, because I'm at college and on M-W-F I have like 3 hours between classes. Lucky for you guys, I write when I'm bored.

Comment Replies:

@Kwonnie: lol I knew you'd be happy. Yeah, there's gonna be some explanation into Gikwang's dreams later on, but probably not for a while. Lae is a bit more relaxed around, yes. You're gonna like the beginning of the next chapter, too. And your baby ain't protective so much as... well you'll see later.
@obliviate-: Well, hello there! I love to see new faces ^^. And aww at your comment! I'm blushing~! ~^_^~

You laid calmly on your bed in a pair of dark denim jeans and a loose, white cotton shirt with short sleeves that wouldn't catch on the bandages on your wrists. Hyunseung had allowed you to return to your room after giving you strict orders not to bother the wrappings on either of your wrists. He assured you that the old scars would become as unnoticeable as the new ones thanks to the white cream he had put on them. You tried not to think about the marks. 

You stared blankly at the ceiling over your bed. The empty white canvas was like a backdrop for the state you willed your mind to emulate. You wanted to be empty, for all the thoughts to stop and for the feelings to cease their endless turmoil in your head. Earlier it had been easy to act like a shell, to let the shock take over and numb you to the surroundings. It wasn't as easy to stop the feelings from coming when you were so inside your own head. 

The burn and itch of your wrists tried to drag you kicking and screaming back into the past to relive all the terror and pain of not one but multiple masters. Visions of past houses flashed violently through your mind, making you whimper and curl into a ball on your side. You turned over a few times, thrashing around and trying to get out of your own head, so you could get a hold of yourself. Your emotions threatened to choke you, making your throat tighten and your eyes water. Taking a deep breath, you shoved the feelings away. You pictured a bottle in your mind and started filling it with all the pain, fear, anxiety. Sadly, those feelings stripped away the happiness and other emotions as well, chasing them down into the fictitious container where you mentally stoppered them. You felt the stress and fear melt a way in an instant, leaving you to resemble an empty husk. It was better than the alternative. 

You had been feeling so vulnerable and weak lately. First, your memories had surfaced, reminding you once again of how little demons actually cared about humans, how cruel they could be, and how easy it was for them to hurt you. Then, Hyunseung had to find out about the marks on your arms. You knew he probably suspected there were other marks on your body and if he found out about THAT mark... You didn't want to think about it. 

Your eyes scanned the room in hopes of finding a distraction from the direction of thought your consciousness seemed determined to follow. Glancing at the vanity, you caught sight of the book you had received days ago. You stood up, eyes fixed on the tome. It did need to go back to the library, and that was something to do. You snatched the book off the table and walked out the door, promptly closing it behind you. 

During the walk, you turned briefly to look at the door you now knew to be Hyunseung's. He had pointed out its location before he had released you, so you could find him if you needed to. The room was the one with the Victorian Gothic door with the brass rings. You only glanced at it before calmly walking the rest of the way to your destination. You had passed a few people that you nodded politely at, but nothing terribly interesting came from it. Your wrists itched slightly under the wrappings. 

As you approached the door to the library, you briefly wondered if you might be intruding. You opened the door and peeked around to look into the empty room. With a sigh, you stepped in and closed the door behind you. Your eyes trailed over the spines of books as you passed the low free standing bookshelves. You had always loved the smell of paper and the rustling of pages, but your favorite thing about libraries was the shiny lettering on the leather spines of books in beautiful calligraphy crafted by a sure and careful hand. One of your hands traced idly over the writing on the cover of the book you were carrying. 

Your eyes danced over the spines of the books in the shelves on the walls, hoping to establish an order, so you could put the book back in its proper place. Try as you might, though, you couldn't make sense of the organizing system for the books. They were not done by author or title or, as near as you could tell, subject matter. At least, you didn't think that Heir Apparent should have a resting place next to the Christopher Killer if they were in proper genre order. 

You were still debating about what to do with the book when it tugged lightly against your hold. It slipped easily out of your fingers and floated away. You watched as it halted at a shelf where two books jumped aside to allow a place for the larger book to land. After watching this little spectacle, you turned to look toward the door where Junhyung was standing casually. He glanced around the room, and suddenly, books were flying every which way, rearranging themselves along the shelves. They bobbed and weaved through the air, narrowly avoiding collisions and clattering into place along the shelves around the room. You ducked away from the bookcase you were blocking when a small army of novels flitted irritably in front of your face. Standing calmly in the midst of the chaos, Junhyung waved his hands around directing the frantic flights of the tomes to where they belonged. Turning to the shelf near you, you noticed that the books were alphabetized by author and all the reference books had disappeared to another part of the library. 

"No one puts the books away properly," the dark Mage said simply. You glanced at him at the words and nodded to show you'd heard. A hidden instinct begged you to walk along the shelves and touch the various leather covers of the novels lining them. Not wanting to cause trouble, you settled for tracing the edge of the shelves as you walked along reading the titles not really thinking about anything at the moment. 

You turned around and found Junhyung standing directly behind you with his arms crossed and his head cocked to the side. Startled, you took a slight step back and looked down at your hand which was still resting on a shelf. "You're much quieter today," he declared off-handedly. You were slightly confused by this statement, not quite understanding how silent could be quieter or louder depending on the day. He raised his hand to your face and asked, "What's going on up here?" as he lightly touched your forehead. You moved back and turned, so you were facing away from the bookcase. His hand dropped down to his side slowly. You thought he was going to leave or maybe wander off to study something, but his focus seemed to be centered on you today. He stepped back into your personal space and carefully took hold of your wrist. 

You didn't even flinch as he inspected the bandages, slipping his fingers into the edges and checking the tightness of the wrap. "Hyunseung wrapped these with more care than usual. Someone must have really done a number on you." You shrunk away slightly and curled your hand into a fist, but you didn't try to pull away from his grip. "I'm also going to guess he found out on his own." You hesitated for a moment and nodded. The bottle holding in your feelings was shoved to the back of your psyche as you noticed it attempting to pop open. 

You let your mind go blank as Junhyung came around to stand in front of you, adjusting his grip so he was holding your arm at the elbow. Your eyes stayed trained on the floor while your free hand slipped behind your back to grab onto a shelf for balance. Pushing yourself back into the bookshelf by the balls of your feet, you put as much distance between yourself and your master as you could even though he wasn't really crowding you. "You know he only wants to help." You didn't respond to the statement, refusing to move at all.

Hyunseung had been trustworthy and seemingly helpful in the past, but that could all change in a second. That was the reality you had known for years. Each time you moved, that little spark of hope returned and every time it was doused either immediately or slowly and painfully. Most of the time, you were able to become emotionless within the first week, but your masters were smart and quickly discovered that it was all a facade which opened up the option of playing a game of trying to get you to break. They would make you break and leave you to slowly pull the pieces back together. Then, they would do it all again. 

You stared at the floor, silently willing it to open like a black hole and swallow you up. Suddenly, you felt the dark energy sweeping through your body. You twitched and pressed closer to the bookshelf in a feeble attempt at escape. With your eyes shut tight, you turned your head to the side feeling your heart pound faster and hearing your breathing pick up. The force pulled back slightly, and you took a deep breath to center yourself. "I only want to help you, too." Your lips pressed together into a thin line. He gently brought your face back toward him. You kept your eyes closed and your head down, but he didn't seem to mind. "Which is why I need to say this," he said quietly before pausing. His fingers that were previously resting on your cheek trailed down your arm that he wasn't holding. They paused when they touched the wrappings. He sighed and moved his hand over to your waist before saying softly, "You need to tell Hyunseung about this." He brushed his thumb lightly over your shirt where the mark was. 

You froze completely still. Your eyes clenched shut even tighter, and your teeth ground against each other. Your fists tightened so hard that your nails cut little crescents into your palms. Feeling the figurative bottle of your emotions pressurizing to the breaking point, you withered against the bookcase. Only the strong grip at your elbow kept you upright. "Stop," Junhyung ordered you firmly. "I'm not hurting you, nor do I intend to." 

You took a deep breath and forced back the terror, allowing your master to continue what he was doing. He pressed his palm over the mark, and you flinched away as much as you could, simply out of reflex. Your heart rate was through the roof, and your throat constricted on every inhale. Junhyung took his hand away from your abdomen and took each of your hands. He smoothed his thumbs down from the heel of your hand toward your fingers, carefully forcing your fingers open. You stared the blood dripping down your hands from the cuts you inadvertently made in your distress. The Mage swiped a thumb across his tongue and dragged it over the cuts on your left hand. You hissed as a familiar burning sensation lit along the crescents and again when the process was repeated for your other hand. After the small wounds had closed, he made a small flourish above your hands, and the remaining blood vanished. Your hands were released, and you slumped back against the bookcase. 

"See?" Junhyung pointed out calmly. "I just want to help. And this," he pressed his hand over the cut again, "won't heal on its own." Your face tightened, and you took a shuddering breath. "You need to get Hyunseung to fix this. It's not good for you to keep living with it. Black magic is a very toxic thing, especially to humans." You shut your eyes and breathed deep, closing up the emotions that were trying to will their way out to the surface. "If you don't tell him soon, I will. Or I'll find a way to convince you to tell him." 

You tried to hide the shiver that traveled down your spine at the comment but failed miserably. His fingers played with the bottom of your shirt. "What exactly does it do, anyway?" By his smirk, you knew he knew exactly what it did. The danger hit you full fold, and you felt yourself close up. Your heart rate slowed and your breathing returned to normal. All the emotion and will power was once again exorcised from your body. 

You just couldn't take this anymore. All the stress and pressure that had been building up since you were moved to Sebastian's warehouse broke like a dam over your head. It was so overwhelming that your brain just stopped trying to process it all. You preferred this to passing out. At least when your will to care quit, you were still in control of your body and able to tell where you were. 

The hand fell away from your shirt, and you were pulled into a tight embrace. "Don't do that. Don't just shut down and slip away. You are stronger than that." You stared blankly at his chest and let your head drop forward. "Laeri." You ignored the call, not even worried about anything anymore. Junhyung sighed. He muttered something, and you felt a pressure on your brain. Your body started moving before you could even process the situation. Your arms came up and pushed hard against your master's chest in an attempt to escape. He didn't budge an inch. Instead, his arms tightened around you like iron bars, and the pressure on your mind increased. You thumped your forehead against his chest and snapped your hands up to the sides of your head. You tried to push back against the force on your consciousness but to no avail. 

You blinked and found yourself in black space. Your knees buckled, and you crumpled to the ground, slamming your fists down in frustration. You heard footsteps, and your head shot up. You watched as Junhyung walked toward you out of the shadows. He kneeled down in front of you. "Why?" you asked quietly, your voice tinkling through the air like a bell. You searched his face for an answer, trying desperately to make sense of the situation you'd been into so suddenly. 

"Because you were hiding in here." He moved your hair away from your face, tucking it gently behind your ear. You flinched away and got up, quickly walking away from him while hugging yourself in an attempt to keep calm. 

"It's too much to deal with," you whispered weakly in the same bell voice. "It's too much all at once."

Junhyung stood up and stalked toward you. "It isn't too much to deal with. You can handle it." He grabbed your arm and twisted you around to face him. You looked away and sighed. "If you have that mark, I can only begin to guess what you've survived through."

Your hand immediately blocked the scar as if it could be seen through your shirt. You still remembered his threat, the thing that pushed you over the edge. On the defensive, you snapped bitingly, "You wouldn't even come close. I've been through hell and back." 

He nodded calmly and let go of your arm, sensing your defensiveness. "I know you have." He brushed your hand away and traced the mark lightly over your shirt. "When did you get it?"

"No," you said firmly. 

He looked hard at you. "Tell me," he ordered. Your eyes widened in fear, and you crumpled to the ground. You shook your head frantically and put your hands over your ears, grasping for your memories of every story you'd been told and reciting them under your breath. "Stop that!" Your hands were grabbed away from your ears. You gasped at the force of the glare you were receiving. "I don't want to hurt you, and I don't really want to remind you of painful memories. I just need to know when you got that curse, so I can judge how much of your nature has been taken over by the black magic." You shook like a leaf as pure terror swept over you, turning the black space to dull red. Junhyung kneeled in front of you and grabbed your hands. "I'm not doing this to use your memories as my own personal movie theater. I did this because you shut down, and you refuse to speak your mind. You know you can't hide anything from me in here."

You closed your eyes and forced yourself to calm down, letting the dull red change to a light blue. "I know," you muttered unnecessarily. "That's why I don't like it. I've stayed alive by hiding myself, my emotions, my scars. How do I know you won't turn anything against me?" 

His thumb brushed over your knuckles in a soothing manner. "I'll tell you after you tell me about what I want to know."

You shuddered. You swallowed hard and closed your eyes, letting the memory come to the surface and flow out. "It happened about two years ago. I don't remember a lot about the actual event. I don't remember much of anything really. He... My master, he... he would make me wear midriff tops all the time. On the second day, he invited his friends over to show what magical prowess he had accomplished. He would spend hours just tracing it, pressing his whole hand over it." You pulled your hands back and curled into ball. "It hurt so much, like being ripped in half. It was like someone stabbed a knife into me and twisted it. Like swallowing fire and letting it burn me away from the inside out." You were shaking hard now, the blue quickly changing to a violent red bordering on orange. The tears started spilling over as your deep breath to center yourself tragically turned into a wrenching sob. "I, I tried to hide it when I left that house, but it's in such a hard place to hide. He put it there on purpose, so he could make it deeper. He told me that when he did it. He said the deeper it was the more it would hurt and the harder it would be to get rid of. No one's ever tried, anyway. Most of the ones who found it and knew what it was just took advantage of it and treated it as an added bonus. The ones who didn't know what it was quickly figured out what it could do and followed suit. It hurts. Everything hurts," you sobbed brokenly. 

You felt a hand on your shoulder which immediately made you curl up tighter, protecting yourself from the perceived harm. Junhyung very cautiously and gently pulled you into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around you. You shivered a few times still crying hard, but he maneuvered you around in his grip slightly to press your face against his shoulder. His hands rubbed up and down your back in smooth circles while he quietly shushed you to calm you down. You whimpered pitifully and tried to staunch the flow of the tears flooding from your eyes. The red-orange slowly subsided to a slight, hazy maroon color. 

"I'm sorry," you mumbled almost too softly to be heard. The hands on your back never stopped moving. 

"It's alright. You know you can't hide anything in here. As soon as I started pushing, it was bound to come out sooner or later." He nudged your head off his shoulder, so he could hear you better. "You still need to talk to Hyunseung."

You stiffened slightly, and your heart rate started rising again. "I don't want to," you said in a small voice. "Even this was too much." You held out your arms. "I wanted to keep them hidden. I just ended up upsetting everyone. My mind couldn't handle it; I just shut down. I can't go through anything like that again." You closed your eyes and rubbed roughly at the trails of water still streaming down your cheeks. 

"You only think you can't. Give it time. I won't push you to tell him right now. It needs to be dealt with soon, though. Putting it off won't make it better." You stared off into space for a moment before curling up against your master. "Are you tired?" You nodded with a little effort and let your eyes drift shut. You wanted nothing more than to sleep for a month after this stressful day. As much as you wanted to rest, however, you kept receiving this nagging sensation from your mind, trying to get you to remember something important. 

"Why should I trust you? You said you would tell me." You were fighting off the pure exhaustion with every bit of your slowly returning will power. 

"I did say that. Well, to begin, my alignment is chaotic good, and my power retains a white color. Both are traits that should show you I'm not evil. But that's not what what I think you will really be interested in." You glanced up at him in confusion when he stopped talking abruptly. Your eyes searched his face once again for an answer. Instead, you felt a tugging on your consciousness, and your eyes blinked you back to the library. "I wanted to tell you out here." You nodded, adjusting back to your lack of speech. "You can't speak," he said calmly. "And I can't see."

A/N:

NOTICE: There is important life changing stuff at the very bottom. Please do not skip it.

Yes, there is always two of these lol. Sorry. 

So for French today, we are going to learn how to say, "I want to sleep." Now, this cannot be used for the other type of sleeping. For that one you can look up the one song by Labelle. Alright, so to say I want to sleep, we say "Je veux dormir" (jeu veu door-meer)

For sign language we will be learning sleep (Can you see the theme today?)

And now on to the important stuff:

Yes, this could potential change everything. I want to address two very big things about the story before I continue writing. I do not, however, want to make you wait another month so any changes will not take place until the following chapter most likely. I want to know if I should keep the point of view as it is, or if you want me to change over to third person point of view. I will not do first person because that won't give the story the right feeling. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about with point of views, SECOND PERSON POV is using primarily you, your, yourself, etc. as the subjects and pronouns. THIRD PERSON POV is using primarily she, he, they, it, etc. SECOND makes the reader experience the story as if they are involved or as if they are a certain character. THIRD makes you a completely outside force who is merely observing events. 

I also want to know how long you like chapters to be reading time wise. Luckily, the lovely little app I use to write shows number of words and also reading time so I can easily figure out how long the average person will take to read each chapter.

PLEASE PARTICPATE IN THE POLLS

I would also like to ask you to comment your preferences as well. Commented answers will hold more weight than the polls, so if the polls say 5 minutes and third but the commenters say 15 and second, I'm gonna go with the commenters. Sorry but if they are the ones I'm gonna get comments from, I'm gonna care more about their opinions. 

Also a bonus to put in your comments, I WANT TO KNOW EVERYONE"S BIAS FROM BEAST! And if Beast isn't your favorite group I WANT TO KNOW YOUR OTHER GROUPS BIAS as well. If you tell me your biases they might appear <.<  >.>