“Rosie! There you are.” Jennie clings onto me as soon as she sees me on campus.

 

“Hi.”

 

“I have to tell you something.” Jennie says excitedly, dragging me to some random cafe near campus.

 

“Okay what’d you want to tell me?” I ask after grabbing our drinks from the counter.

 

“I saw her again and we have class together.” Jennie squeals and I stop myself from rolling my eyes.

 

“Ooh someone saw their crush.” I .

 

“I did.” She admits.

 

Seeing her made you that happy huh.

 

“Well did you talk to her this time?”

 

“No…” Jennie pouts.

 

“Why not? I thought you guys got close after hanging out at that dinner with your families.”

 

“I guess I just don’t know what to say...or more like I’m scared that I’ll say something stupid.”

 

“Do you want me to talk to her with you if we see her together?” I offer like an idiot.

 

“Will you??” Jennie looked at me with hopeful eyes.

 

“Anything for you.” I reply.

 

Yeah..anything for you Jen, as long as it’s you. It;ll always be more of you and less of me.

 

“Rosie...Rosie..Roseanne...Park Chaeyoung!” I’m pulled out of my thoughts to Jennie’s bright eyes looking at me with worry, “Are you okay? You zoned out on me just now.”

 

“I’m fine.” I smile, my eyes glancing at her ring that I didn’t put there, “What were you saying?”

“It’s nothing important. What were you thinking of so deeply that you weren’t listening to me?” Jennie asks, with a small frown, dipping a fry in my milkshake.

 

“Remember in high school...I asked you to play a game with me.” I ignore her question, pushing the milkshake closer to her.

 

“Yeah, you said we were supposed to realize something about each other.” She nods, still dipping her fries in my shake.

 

“Yeah that’s right. It’s been a long time since then, but you know that I lost.” I chuckle, hoping it didn’t sound broken.

 

“What? I actually won?” Jennie looked so excited even though I felt so defeated.

 

“Yes..you did. What do you want as your prize?” I ask, glad she didn’t ask what I realized about her.

 

“Hmmm...can I think about it first?” She asks cutely.

 

“Okay..take all the time you need.” I pull my milkshake back, causing her to whine so I push it forward again.

 

“You’re such a kid.” I shake my head, watching as Jennie happily eats her fries.

 

After a few moments of silence Jennie suddenly calls me “Rosie.” She says softly twiddling with the ring on her finger, her eyebrows creased just a tad.

 

“Yes?” I look at her and again I hear the constant voice in my head that scolds me for missing every opportunity with her. And I hate the feeling of missing an opportunity to get what I want. I hate being second place. But I know that I’ll never become her number one. So I guess, just for her...I won’t mind being second.

 

“You think she’ll learn to love me like I love her?” Jennie asks, her voice steady, but I know a broken smile when I see one.

 

“Jennie…”

 

“I just..I’ve loved her for so long and now we’re finally getting married. Granted, our families arranged it...but I can’t help but hope this is going to be like in the dramas you know..where the two leads get put into this situation and eventually they get their happily ever after.”

 

“It’s not hard to love you Jen.” I pause, letting my words settle in her troubled mind, “So, I think one day, Irene will love you for you..not because she had to learn to.”

 

“Really?” Jennie looks at me with sparkling eyes, like I gave her newfound hope.

 

“Yes, absolutely. So just be you okay?” I reach a hand over and ruffle her hair.

 

“Rosie!” She whines, but her full gummy smile is still on her face.

 

I wonder...when did it hurt so much seeing you smile?

 

~ ~

 

“Oh where’s Chu and the others?” I ask looking around.

 

“Chu had a last minute shoot and Lisa tagged along..I didn’t invite the others because I wanted only my closest friends here.” Jennie looks at me.

 

“Well then c’mon let’s get this fashion show started.” I chuckle, pushing the girl towards the shop.

 

“Ms. Kim!” Vera Wang came out of one of the curtains and my eyes widened, “Shall we get started.”

 

Of course...this is a high profile wedding after all. Really not a surprise.

 

“Oh, is she the other bride? You shouldn’t be here.” Ms. Wang chuckled and I almost choked on my spit.

 

“No no.” I wave my hand, “I’m just her friend.” But I do wish I was.

 

“Oh my bad.” She chuckles, before taking Jennie with her.

 

And as I sit here waiting for Jenne to come out, I think about everything that’s happened.

 

“Do you really have to go?” Jennie clings onto me as we lay in my bed.

 

It’s my last night in Melbourne before leaving for Europe.

 

“Yeah...I do.”

 

“But why.” Jennie whines.

 

“Jen, we’ve talked about this.” I turn to face her.

 

“So like a week?”

 

I stay quiet.

 

“A month??”

 

I avoid her gaze.

 

“Rosie A YEAR?!” Jennie sits up clearly frustrated.

 

“Maybe more.” I admit, biting my lower lip.

 

“No, you can’t go. A week fine..a month okay..but not anymore than that.”

 

“Jen..” I sigh, “At least it’s not forever?”

 

“But what am I supposed to do without you here?” She pouts.

 

“I mean there’s Chu, Lisa, and everyone else.”

 

“Yeah..but It’s been you and me since 1st grade. And after tomorrow everything will be different.”

 

“Nothing will change Jen, plus I told you to call me whenever you miss me.”

 

“Okay..” Jennie slumps a bit, reaching for a phone.

 

A few seconds later my phone rings, and I pick up.

 

“I miss you.” Jennie looks at me with teary eyes, and I pull her into my arms.

 

“I’ll miss you too.”

 

It took a while for me to settle my little dumpling, but she finally fell asleep.

 

“Jennie.” I call her name softly, laying on my side to get a better view of her, “Someday, you’re going to wake up with that soft look on your face while you stare at the sleeping body next to you. Someday you’ll wake up and think to yourself “yeah...you’re my forever.” And when that someday comes, all I can do is smile from afar and hope that my heart can take it….I love you very much Jennie Kim, but I think it’s time for me to let you go.”

 

I can’t believe I’m saying goodbye before we even started.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Hey Rosie.” Lisa calls me, her voice sounding off but I can’t pinpoint her tone.

 

“Hey Lis, what’s up? How are you?” I ask, while I stroll around Milan.

 

“Have you seen the news?”

 

“News?”

 

“About Jennie.” The grip on my phone tightening, worry bubbling up in me.

 

“What about Jen..oh hold on Lis, Jen’s trying to call me.” My body relaxes, at least nothing bad happened to her, “It’s fine Rosie, just talk to her. I’ll call you later. Take care.”

 

“Yeah sure thanks Lis.” I answer Jennie’s call.

 

“Hey miss m…”

 

“I’M ENGAGED TO IRENE!” Jennie loudly interrupts me that I didn’t even hear my own heart break.

 

“Uh..uhm..You are?”

 

Since when were they a couple?

 

“Yes..an arranged marriage between our families.” Jennie sounded a bit down.

 

“Oh..well then congratulations. Look at you skipping straight to marriage with her.” I tease to lighten the air.

 

“Yeah, but I don’t know Rosie..she doesn’t feel the same about me you know..plus she’s already rejected me.” Jennie dryly chuckles.

 

“What?”

 

“I told her that I liked her..and she said she only sees me like a friend.”

 

“Jennie..”

 

“And then now, 1 week later, our parents made us get engaged..Is it bad that I feel like I’m on cloud 9 right now?”

 

“No Jen..it’s not bad. Just give it time...I’m sure Irene will come around.”

 

“Maybe...but you’ll comeback for my wedding right? You know you’re my maid of honor.”

 

“Of course...I’ll comeback as soon as I can.”

 

“YAY! Can’t wait to see you Rosie Posie.”

 

“Yeah me too.”

 

“So tel..”

 

“Hey Jen, sorry but I’m about to meet with a client..can I call you later?” I interrupted her.

 

“Oh yeah sure...facetime later?”

 

“Anything you want.”

 

“Okay then, talk to you later Rosie.”

“Yeah.” I sigh into the phone, ending the call because I could no longer hold the sob from escaping.

 

“It’s really game over now..” I chuckle bitterly to myself, realizing that I wasn’t as over her as I thought. That I haven’t let her go..not even for a second, “I suppose she’s just meant to be a friend, my best friend..that’s all. But hey, at least I still have her. So stop crying. Stop it. You had so many chances to just tell her..I have no right to cry..” I try to convince myself to stop, but the harder I try to stop, the harder I cry.

 

It’s so sad that it’s funny really... I didn’t think it was that deep, her feelings for Irene..but it seems that I came back to her too late. I know that now and dwelling in all the what-ifs isn’t going to make things any better for me or her. Even if this whole thing is arranged, for her it’s real..for Jennie it’s the day when she’ll marry the love of her life.

 

“What do you think of this?” Jennie comes out in her 3rd or is it the 5th gown.

 

“It’s gorgeous..you look amazing.”

 

“Rosie! That’s all you’ve been saying.” She pouts.

 

“Let’s try another.” Ms. Wang ushers Jennie away again looking at me with a knowing smile.

 

Jennie...she always talked to me softly, and gave that smile I always saw in my dreams. But when she’s with her, she makes an expression I’ve never seen her make around anyone. I did prepare my heart for the worst case scenario but I didn’t think I’d lose.

 

But well now here I am. Sitting here watching as she tries another dress on, twirling around and asking me what I think. And I tell her how gorgeous she looks and she scolds me because that’s all I’ve been saying. But it’s the truth. She’s lucky and I’m jealous.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

A/n: Heart been broke so many times.

 

Let me know your thoughts.

 

What do you think will happen?

 

Chaennie endgame?

 

Till next time .

 

Ciao