To kill two birds with one stone simply means to do two things at the same time using the effort needed to do only one, as stated in Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms.

 

 

To kill two birds with one stone also means avenging oneself AND enjoying every single moment of it knowing that victory is definitely yours. The target of my vengeance? The smart fart whom made me nearly shat my pants walking to the other washroom 100 meters away.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

‘If there is anything, anything at all, just remember that we are here for you, alright Yuri?’

 

 

I rubbed my head gently, the part where the alarm clock hit. I swear that I’m gonna make her pay for the physical and material damage she caused on me; besides the unnecessary home chaos, explaining, and lectures that I have to go through when I’m supposed to be sleeping. 

 

 

My mother, whom was shocked yet overwhelmed, consoled Yuri on her social, financial and environmental ‘problems’, although more emphasis were put on the worries of trying to please her in-laws and the internal turmoil faced during the absence of her fiancé which led to today’s ‘disagreement’. Dad and Ji Eun had retreated to bed as soon as they found out about the false alarm, leaving Mom and a very busybody Ji Yeon interrogating us on our undisclosed relationship.

 

 

‘Really, Yuri,’ mom continued, ‘you should have just told us right in the beginning.’

 

‘Yeah,’ Ji Yeon interrupted, ‘so much for trying to surprise us.’

 

 

Although my head hurt more than anything else, pride filled my chest as I watch my brilliant plan falling into place. I knew that this girl would do anything for money. 30K in exchange for the fun I will be having for my long awaited vacation? Nice.

 

 

‘Anyway, I’m sure you both are really exhausted after such a hectic day,’ said mom, giving Yuri a hug. ‘Just patch up and go to sleep alright?’

 

 

‘Yeaaaaah,’ I yawned, and I swear I could have LOL-ed on the spot when I saw Kwon Yuri’s petrified reaction as mom added, ‘I’ll go get some clean pillowcases and bedsheets for both of you to sleep on together.’

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

‘I like my bath water to be 57 degrees Celsius,’ I said, stepping into my bathroom, ‘and I expect to see my PJ’s laid the bed when I’m done.’

 

 

Then, removing my top and placing a bath towel on my shoulder, I continued, ‘It is also tradition that I have a light midnight snack, preferably something with some meat, egg, veggie, kimchi…I suggest Kimchi noodles?’

 

 

Yuri looked as if she would have strangled me, but she made a wise choice of restraining herself. Under her breath, she muttered, ‘I don’t remember our contract saying that I have to be your slave.’

 

 

‘Slave,’ I replied, ‘is a person whom works for his master without wages. But since you suggested it, I shall take it into consideration.’

 

 

I smirked. Again she shot me that stare, that very same indignant stare she gave me earlier when she ruined my prized windbreaker. Without another word, she went straight the bathroom and turned the tap on.

 

 

‘There’s a thermometer in the cup inside the cupboard near the sink, dear,’ I said. With satisfaction almost bursting off my chest, I strongly concur that vengeance is very sweet indeed.

 

 

 

***

‘What,’ she exclaimed in disgust, holding the contract in front of my face, ‘the hell is this piece of thing doing on the bed?’

 

 

‘You do know how to read, don’t you?’ I said, as my every single taste bud savours the luscious tasting Kimchi noodles. ‘By the way,’ I continued, ‘I don’t remember myself ordering Kimchi INSTANT noodles.’

 

 

‘Your Master,’ she read, her voice dripping acid, ‘man, you’re sick.’

 

 

A flashback of her ogling at my flawless body in the changing room earlier on replayed at the back of my head.

 

‘Look who’s talking,’ I said.

 

 

‘And why on earth should I heed your every command which would probably last for a lifetime?’ Yuri stared at me hard. ‘You’re irrational.’

 

 

I put down my chopsticks and stared back. ‘Alright,’ I said, reaching out to the letter on her hand. ‘Forget about it.’

 

 

As expected, Yuri flung her hand away, keeping the letter out of my reach. Guess she finally realizes where she stands, and the place she is standing is definitely not on a bed of roses. I smirked.

 

 

‘Is smirking the only thing you’re capable of doing with your mouth, besides throwing really sarcastic remarks?’ 

 

 

I chuckled. ‘I can’t help it. Lady Luck has been smiling at me quite often recently.’

 

 

Bizarrely, a small voice appeared at the back of my head. ‘Lady Luck has been smiling at me,’ it said, ‘ever since I met you, Shim Chang Min.’

 

 

 

 

 

‘Excuse me?’ Yuri said as she waved her hand centimeters away from my eyes, distracting me from my thoughts. ‘You there?’

 

 

Damn, this letting-my-mind-wander-in-the-midst-of-no-where should stop. Pushing my supper away, I got up. ‘When you are done signing the letter, clean up. I don’t want my room to smell of your cheap instant noodles.’

 

 

‘Hey! What cheap instant noodles? For your info, that’s my last cup noodle! And I only gave it up because you made me!’ she nagged as I made my way to the bathroom. 

 

 

‘Why everything in my life has to be about you?’ she continued. ‘Not only I have to deal with your fans at work, I have to deal with their YOU off work!!’

 

 

I stared at her hard, and slammed the bathroom door hard behind me. Turning the tap furiously, I then splashed my face wet with the running water. I looked up into my own reflection in the mirror.

 

 

My chest hurts so badly it suffocates me, and the scar grows deeper with every breath I take. I hate feeling so helpless when I think of her, yet I can’t bring myself to erase her.

 

Why has it ended even before it began?

 

 

***

 

 

Lying on the bed, I look up at the ceiling. The room is dark and quiet. And cold.

 

 

The door creaked open and a petite silhouette entered. Fumbling with her pillow and comforter (I assume), she tip-toed all the way to the bed side and dumped her things on the floor.

 

 

In a second, all was quiet again. Until a string of soft snoring noises was heard.

 

 

Man, to think that this girl could sleep in this kind of temperature. I shiver as I feel the chill biting on to my skin. This damn room hasn’t changed a single bit ever since before.

 

 

I got up and turn on the heater, just as the door creaked open again.

 

 

‘Son? Everything okay?’ mom whispered, as she looked around searching for her ‘daughter-in-law’. ‘Good Lord,’ she exclaimed as she spotted Yuri snoring away on one corner, ‘why on earth is she sleeping there?’

 

 

I let out a huge breath. ‘She just rolled off and landed herself there,’ I lied. ‘Let her sleep, omma.’

 

 

Mom gave me a hard stare. Or at least it felt hard, since it too dark to see her face. 

 

 

Letting out a huge sigh intentionally, I carried the Sleeping Ogre and placed her on the bed. The Ogre fidgeted a little.

 

 

‘See, isn’t that much better,’ she said, walking towards me. ‘You need to show her your love, especially during times when she’s not aware of it.’

 

 

‘Yes ma,’ I said, covering my head underneath my comforter. ‘Good night.’

 

 

‘Good night son,’ I heard her say, followed by the sound of the door being shut.

 

 

I pulled the comforter down from my face. Flashbacks replayed on the hind of my brain as I drift into slumber. Drunk in thoughts of her last words heard over the telephone…that she’s sorry…that we’re over…

 

 

Then a hand hit on my chest.

 

 

Damn that small-short-thickly-spectacled-schoolgirl-janitor-diabetic-elf.

 

 

I pushed the hand away and turned the other side.

 

 

3.26 a.m. Good. I’ve had enough for the day. I shut my eyes and forced myself to sleep.

 

 

 

***

 

 

I woke up on a rainy November afternoon with an intense heat choking me. Pushing an incredibly long flock of hair plastered on my face, I slowly opened my eyes.

 

 

There I was, in my room, the buttons of my PJ’s undone, a hand rested upon my chest, and my entire right hand squashed underneath Ogre’s neck.

 

 

The last thing I remembered was me, sleeping right here, with my PJ’s buttoned nicely and my body positioned 30 over centimeters away from Ogre.

 

 

And I thought she had her PJ’s worn properly and not with its collar hanging over her shoulder showing a whole lot of skin. And what’s with the compromising position we’re having here? Not that it’s uncomfortable; but it definitely beats me of how we actually ended up tangled up in each others’ embrace. Or cuddle, hug, arms, whatever word that’s appropriate in this situation.

 

 

And what’s with this extreme temperature change? Isn’t it supposed to be freezing on a rainy November afternoon? Cause’ all I feel is hot air surrounding every inch of my bedroom.

 

 

A soft moan came from Yuri. She fidgeted as her eyelids twitched. Clearly, the hotness of this room, and probably mine, has awakened the Ogre from its slumber.

 

 

The Ogre lifted its heavy eyelids and its sleepy eyes blinked several times. Then it stopped. The eyes were than opened and it speculated its surroundings.

 

 

Then it opened its smelly mouth and let out an ear-deafening roar.

 

 

 

 

-End of Chapter 6-