When the ambulance door opened again, Chang min reached out for the stretcher immediately and helped to pull Yunho out. But Jaejoong couldn’t register all of these. He could only see the flashing green light reflecting off on Chang min’s face… he was speaking, but he could not hear a single word…

Is this how you felt Yunho…? When I was brought to the hospital? Were you as scared as me…? As lost as me…? 

They rushed into the emergency department once they got down from the ambulance. Jaejoong stopped in his tracks when he saw the chaos in there. Doctors and nurses were hustling and rushing from one patient to another, there were all sorts of sounds, sounds of the machineries, sounds of heart beats beeping and cries of families… Yunho… was just one of the patients… one of the many patients brought in here… everyone of them are fighting for their lives, desperate to live, to get past this night… he’s just one of them… how… how will god pick…? Will he get picked to live…? Or will this be his final night…? Jaejoong cried, he begged, like other family members, waiting outside… there was nothing they could do but to pray.... To pray for the best… to pray that their loved ones will pull through the night… 

The wait outside was torturous… I can’t believe you went through this Yunho… this wait… is unbearable… 

Jaejoong curled himself up in a corner and prayed again and again… like a soulless person… when Chang min finally came out, his face was a blur. But he could see that he had a very solemn expression. He could see tears in his eyes… again, his mouth was moving but he could only make out a few words… 

“Hyung…”

“left…”

“nothing more…” 

He could hear his heartbeat now, pumping so loud that it felt like it would explode… it’s echoing in his head, louder than what Chang min was saying… his vision started to blur again, his legs went weak, sending him straight to the cold ground… tears started streaming out of his eyes… 

You… finally left me… my time to be alone… had come… I lost… that 1%... chance… 

*********************

(2 years later…) 

Jaejoong reached out his hands to touch the marble, running his fingers over the black engraved lettering. His fingers were cold from the bitter winter but that didn’t bother him… Somehow the feel of the stone on his skin brought him some peace… It was beautiful, sparkling under the sunlight… It was the most expensive out of the catalogue… He smiled, “It is only fitting of you to pick this…” 

He stood up slowly and awkwardly, before meeting Chang min’s eyes. “Thank you... for bringing me here…” Chang min patted his back, “Well~ I wouldn’t say that I’m surprised that it took you so long to ask~” 

“This… will be my first and last time here.” 

Chang min nodded. “Yes… there will be no reason to come here anymore… it’ll only bring back memories that should be forgotten long ago…” He placed his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders as they made their way back home… 

“Oh isn’t that…” Jaejoong quickly got out of the car and called out, “Abeoji! Eomoni! Ah!” Jaejoong’s legs went numb after the long car ride~

Yunho’s parents spun around and smiled at the sight of him, “Oh, Jaejoong ah~” Yunho’s mother went forward to meet him. “Where did the two of you go?” 

“Ah… we…” 

“Yah, don’t ask too much..” Yunho’s father cleared his throat awkwardly. 

Chang min joined them right after, greeting them cheerily as usual, “It has been so long! What brings the two of you here?” 

“It’s Yunho’s birthday~ so we thought that we should drop by.. Can we join you guys?” 

Jaejoong took her hands and smiled, “Of course… You’re always welcome~ he would be very happy to know that the both of you came… come on in!” Jaejoong quickly unlocked the door,  “Hmm? Why's the house so quiet? Where’s—”

“Appa, Appa!” Sang wook called out as he ran out of his room. “Oh~! Our Sang Wook ah~” Jaejoong gave him a hug while Chang min patted his head. “These two are…” He asked cautiously. 

“Ah they are your halmoni and haraboji~” Jaejoong quickly introduced them both. 

“I didn’t know that I have a halmoni and haraboji!” Sang wook quickly greeted them excitedly. 

“Oh~ good boy~!” Yunho’s mother carried him in his arms, “wow you’re so heavy!” 

“It’s good for a boy to grow big fast.” Yunho’s father said without looking at them. 

Jaejoong smiled, he knew how much it meant for him to even be here. He may not be able to fully accept Sang Wook or even him yet, but one day… one day… 

They sat around the table to chat but Jaejoong could not be at ease, he glanced over to check the time for the upteenth time before getting up, “I think I---” Chang min grabbed hold of him and made him sit down again, “Yah~ Can’t you just relax?”

Jaejoong glared at him, “You’re the last person who can say that to me! If not for you, I wouldn’t be like that!”

“Can you believe it? That in my dreams you are a princess that’s fallen inside magic?

Even though my gestures towards you are always so hard for me.

However, it’s always just a hard promise, that I’m going to save you again, no matter what.

I put my two hands together and prayed, for endless courage and wisdom.

Past the magic castle and over the swamps, I see you far away inside darkness’ cave.

Now hold onto my hand, can’t you feel our bodies rising?

Even if we fly high up into the sky, freely, don’t be scared. The world unraveling in front of us can be so special if we’re together…” 

“Yun...ho?”

“Hyung… can you hear me?”

Jaejoong opened his eyes slowly… he was lying in a hospital bed… Chang min and Yunho’s parents were crowding around him… but Yunho wasn’t there… that brought tears to his eyes… “I heard… Yunho singing to me…” He broke down once again, “He… he was here…” He choked on his tears with every word… “That… that was the first song I ever sang to him…” 

Yunho’s mother quickly placed her arms around Jaejoong, comforting him… “don’t cry… my boy…” wiping his tears away… 

“You guys shouldn't even be here… you should be with Yunho… how lonely… he must be…I… must go to him now… ”

“You should rest!” Chang min held him back, “You should rest, you have been unconscious for three days already… we thought that you might lose the will to live and never wake up. We were so worr-”

“THREE DAYS?! Damn it Chang min! Where is his body now?! Don’t tell me you guys buried him without me?! TELL ME YOU DIDN’T!” He was hysteric at this point now. “Tell me I can still see him! Tell me!!!” 

“Wha--- Hyung! Can you please calm down and listen to us?!” 

“No… I--- I have to go…” Jaejoong lurched himself out of bed, repeating Yunho’s name, before falling into a pair of arms.

“Joong?” 

“LET GO. LET GO---” He stopped… 

This voice… this voice… 

There’s only one person who would call me by this name…

He looked up slowly and met his eyes… the pair of eyes that he yearned to see everyday… “Is that you…? Are you real?!” 

“Of course I am!” Yunho burst out into a huge smile. “I’m here. I’m here...” 

“You’re here…? But Min said that you’re…”

“Stop right there. Come back and lie down first.” Chang min pulled Jaejoong back but his arms were tightly wrapped around Yunho, afraid that this is all a dream… “Come on now~” Yunho held his waist and helped him back into the bed, still holding onto each others’ hands tightly. 

“… What happened?” Jaejoong looked around at everyone’s puzzled and partially amused faces. “Min... you clearly said that Yunho left and there was nothing more that you could do! Did a miracle happen?! That’s why Yunho is alive?”

Chang min burst out laughing after hearing that, “I… I…”  he took a deep breath before continuing, “I did use those words but they are totally not in that context! I said that Hyung's situation stabilised, the only thing left is for us to wait. There is nothing more we can do FOR NOW!” 

“Fffff you Min! You could have just gone straight and said that he is alive!!!”

“I was panicking at that time also, you know?! And I didn’t know that you would be so…” Chang min shrugged his shoulders and sighed~ “And those were the words that you picked to hear!” 

“No wonder you fainted Jaejoong~” Yunho’s mother patted his head. “Poor boy… luckily you did not give up living…” 

Jaejoong smiled weakly at her before turning to Yunho, “That’s because I heard him singing to me… our favourite song…”  

“We should give them some space…”

It was Yunho’s dad… The rest agreed and left the room, leaving the two… 

“I thought you were dead…” Jaejoong whispered, hands still holding onto Yunho tightly, refusing to let go. 

“When I heard you shouting my name… my heart broke… I swore never to make you cry, but I did it again and again…” Yunho looked into Jaejoong’s watery eyes, “ I thought I was dying too… I always thought that I would embrace death when it comes… but I was wrong… death wasn’t the hardest part… letting go and realizing I will never see, feel and hear you and the ones I love again is even harder…” Yunho brushed a piece of Jaejoong’s hair to the side… “I am given another chance to live on… I will make use of every single moment I have, to fight, and live on. For the people who love… and care so much for me…especially, for you...”  

Jaejoong nodded continuously, “My dear… I wish that I could take all this pain away from you…” 

“I can endure any pain as long as I see you happy, smiling…” Yunho smiled before planting a kiss on his lips… it was a short but deep kiss… they closed their eyes, both their breaths shaking… “Thank you…” Jaejoong said in barely more than a whisper… “For being alive… I love you…” 

“I love you too, Joong…” 

“Joong!” Jaejoong looked up already smiling at the sound of that voice. That voice, and the only person who would call him that… He stood up immediately and ran towards the door, “where did you go?!” Only to see Yunho standing at the doorway with his favourite flowers--- white lilies. 

“Wanted to give you a surp---”

“Surprise!!!” Chang min jumped out only to witness the both of them, arms already wrapped around each other. “Uh… see you guys inside~”, he said before walking back into the house. 

Jaejoong took the bouquet of flowers over and held onto Yunho’s hand with his free hand, “Come on, your parents are waiting for you~” 

“My p… parents? B...both of them?”

Jaejoong nodded. Yunho didn’t show it but he knew that he was bursting with joy. His eyes twinkled with happiness…  It has been two years… It took his father two whole years to take this big step… to reconnect with him, with them… they’re one step closer, to getting their blessings… to them, that was the only way that they can be complete… to be recognised and acknowledged as one... they walked together hand in hand, towards them...

*********************

“I think… I ate too much…I need to cut down on what I eat now...” Jaejoong grumbled as he sat down at the corner of their bed, drying his hair with a towel, after the long day. They have chatted through the night… it was so different from their previous meetings which all ended in awkwardness... This was a huge deal for all of them and they were genuinely enjoying the night. Chang min had wanted to stay but was chased away by Yunho. 

Yunho knelt down behind him and took the towel over in one swift action, taking over the duty of drying his hair. “Maybe I need to start doing some workout too…” Jaejoong continued to ponder. 

“Well… I can think of an awesome workout we can do together~” Yunho said sneakily as he continued to dry his hair. 

Jaejoong’s mouth twitched like he wanted to smile but managed to contain his smile, “What?” 

“You know what I mean~” Yunho continued to tease as he traced his fingers down Jaejoong’s neck. 

“Hmm… A workout?” Jaejoong gave up hiding his feelings and smiled, in a way that melted Yunho’s heart every single time… “I want to hear more about it~” 

Yunho smiled as he pulled Jaejoong on top of him… Jaejoong grinned as he planted his head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat slow and steady heartbeat... “I... love you...” Jaejoong whispered. “Thank you… for choosing me…” 

“And thank you… for coming to me…My life is perfect now... because you’re with me… and I can’t wait  to spend the rest of my life with you~” Yunho whispered back before pulling him under their sheets... Their future is uncertain… no one knows when his cancer may relapse again… but this was their night, their special night that belonged to them, nothing and no one can come between them... at least not tonight… 

*********************

Years ago… we never thought that happiness would come to us… Being in this so-called forbidden love, not accepted by the world, getting separated---torn apart, going through cancer together, fighting one battle after another... 

Sure, we could spend our time blaming and hating on God, thinking and asking,  “Why me? Why us?”          

But we chose to overcome all these, together. Because, life is too short for us to mope around and live in negativity… and more importantly… We have love. Not only romance, but friendship and kinship... Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. 

And as cheesy as it sounds, love... does conquer all. 

*********************