Yo Seob’s POV

                In life, there are times when you have no choice but to make stupid decisions for the person you love the most. When I emerged from the bathroom, Jun Hyung was still in bed. I grabbed my backpack and left to the head office to see our manager. On the way there, I called Doo Joon and said I missed home a lot and I’m going to take 2 weeks off to see my mum. He wanted to ask more but I wouldn’t let him, I hung up.

                When I got to Cube, the manager was talking on the phone, his face was not very happy. But I stalked up to him and told him I was going back home. He was furious but I didn’t care. I shouted what came to my mind into his face and caught the earliest bus and left.

                On the bus, I sat at the furthest back with a mask, a cap and a large scarf. This way, no one can recognize me. Nobody even spared me a second look. Good. The bus ride took around 4 hours from Seoul. All the way there, my phone vibrates over and over again in my pocket and I just ignored. I was not in the mood to talk to anyone now.

                My heart felt heavier than any rock as I sat there on the bus watching the world covered in snow around me flash by. I just sat there not moving, my eyes staring ahead blankly while my brain was filled with thoughts of him. I can’t wait to see mum again and I know she’ll definitely know something is wrong and she’ll cook something nice for me. Our house opens a restaurant after all.

                It was snowing when I finally arrive at the station a couple of kilometers away from my house. I fumbled with my bag and miraculously pulled out an umbrella. I smiled wistfully. Only Jun Hyung would do something like this for me because he knows I get sick frequently.

                I opened the great black umbrella and started towards the road home. I was shivering like a silly leaf when I saw a rather old lady up ahead holding two large bags. I hesitated for a minute then quickly caught up with the old lady. She won’t know who I am. Old people aren’t too interested in half a dozen of boys making weird moves on stage singing some loud songs with thousands of girls screaming below.

                I called out to her and shield the snow from falling on her with my umbrella.

                “Hi, where do you live?” stupid, stupid Yang Yo Seob, she’s going to think you’re some sort of serial killer or something!

                “I’ll walk you there. It’s snowing rather heavily.” I said and added a smile trying to look convincing.

                “Oh my,” said the old lady. “What a nice young man. I live quite far away from here. Don’t worry about me, you go ahead.” Smiled the old lady. From the close distance, I saw how wrinkles surrounded her eyes. Her skin was dull and old, unlike the skin of the other girls I usually see. Well, they are idols anyway, how can they have bad skin. The old lady’s pepper and salt hair was tied up in a neat bun and her clothes were tidy and clean.

                “It’s alright, it’s not safe to walk alone with such heavy bags under such a heavy snow.” I protested. I slung my backpack securely over my shoulders and grabbed her bags from both her hands.

                “What a nice young man. I’ll rely on you then.” She smiled gently. The kind of smile that can make me cry when I miss home. The kind of smile you will never find anywhere in the big and crowded city.

                “Don’t worry, leave it to me.” I smiled and we walked together in silence with me holding the umbrella and her bags that weight like a stones. Slowly, well, old lady can’t walk like us youngsters do, we walk towards the direction of her house.

Old Lady’s POV

                I heard a boy’s voice calling someone. I turned around and saw this young man, half of his face hidden behind a mask with large scarf and coat and silly mismatched shoes. He ran towards me with this black umbrella and I was about to ignore him or run away (if I can) but his eyes stopped me.

                Though his face was hidden behind the kind of mask they wear in hospital, his eyes smiled at me with so much honesty and innocence, I told myself this young boy can never mean any harm. His eyes smiled at me as he offered to walk me home seeing I was with such heavy bags under such bad weather.

                I agreed and he helped me with my bags and held the umbrella for me. It is so rare to find such fine young man nowadays.

                “How old are you young man?” I asked casually as we walked along the frozen river and around us, endless bald trees and nature you can’t find in the city. He laughed and apologized for not taking his mask off. He quickly pulled it away and what I saw was a very handsome boy with eyes that shines like stars on a clear night as well as a smile that can brighten up the darkest day.

                “I’m twenty this year.” He said.

                “Oh my, fifty years younger than me!” I exclaimed chuckling.

                “Really? I thought you were only as old as my mum and she’s only 45!” he laughed and I followed too. What a sweet mouth complimenting an old lady like me!

                “What are you doing here in this old village?” I asked and watched as the happiness and smile faded from his face. Quickly, he hid it all away and smiled. I sighed inwardly. Such a young soul shouldn’t have such sad eyes.

                “I’m coming home to see my mum. Taking a break from my job for a couple of weeks.”

                “What a lucky mother to have such a lovely boy like you.” I replied smiling wistfully.

                “What about you grandma, why are you here alone with all these heavy bags? Where are your children?” he asked, his large innocent eyes looked straight at me. I smiled and sighed, watching my own breath disappear into the air.

                “I have two children. My son died twenty years ago in a car accident while my daughter is married off to America. I’m here to visit my husband and son’s grave.”

                “Oh,” he answered, his handsome face looked troubled when he didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean bring up your unhappy memories.”

                “It’s alright young man. Seeing you today reminded me of my son when he was young and alive. Every time when I visit, he would come to greet me and carry all my bags for me like you. He would hold the umbrella like this if it rains and talk and talk and talk endlessly all the way home. Sometimes he would sing songs for me too. Sometimes sad songs while others were happy and silly ones. Oh my! I’m sorry I’m blabbering away. You tend to be like this when you get old.”

                “No, no! It’s fine! I like listening to stories!” he smiled cheerfully. His smile brought warmth to this old heart of mine. How long had it been since I’d seen such a bright sunny smile directed to me? I almost forgot the feeling of my own lips lifting instead of me forcing it to go up.

                We fell into silence again as snow continued to fall steadily.

                “Grandma,” he said.

                “Hmm?”

                “Do you want me to sing you a song? Like your son did on days like this when he walk home with you.”

                “Do you know how to sing?” I asked in surprise. He laughed.

                “Only a little.”

                “I would love to listen.” I said smiling. For the rest of my short life, I will never forget the magical voice that came pouring out from this young angel’s mouth. I would never have expected this young man to sing so beautifully. His voice reached me deep inside my heart and soul and before I knew it, tears found their way to my eyes and escaped down my cheeks.

                “….biga oneun nal-en nareul chajawa,

                Bameul saeweo gwirop hida,

                Biga geuchyeogamyeon neodo ddaraseo,

                Seoseo-hi jogeumsshik geuchyeogagettji…..”

 Translation : On the rainy days you come and find me
                      Torturing me through the night
                      When the rain starts to stop, you follow
                      Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well 

Yo Seob’s POV

                When I finished my song, I realized tears were running down the old lady’s cheeks. Ahh, I messed up again. She’s here to visit her deceased husband and son, how can I sing such a stupid sad song?! Stupid Yang Yo Seob! What am I going to do? You big big idi-

                “That’s a very lovely song. What a beautiful voice you have. You should be a singer!” she smiled through her tears and my dear heart cracked. What a brave old soul to smile through bitter tears.

                “Thank you.” I smiled sadly.

                “What’s the name of the song?”

                “’On Rainy Days’”

                “What sad lyrics. A very lovely song. Who wrote this song?”

                “A friend of mine did.”

                “That must be some very special friend to write a song that fits your voice so well.” She commented.

                “Yeah,” I said sighing, looking out at the endless frozen river thinking of Jun Hyung. “My friend is very special to me.”

                I dropped the old lady off at her house but not without shoving a piece of paper with my signature on it.

                “Give it to your granddaughter! Or if you face some financial problems, sell it to teenage girls. It’ll help you.” I said while she laughed thinking I was crazy. I bowed to her and quickly ran all the way home.

                “Onma!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs when I ran inside my family restaurant. More than twenty faces turned to me bewildered with food still hanging and half chewed in their mouths.

                I was about to apologize when I heard my mum calling my name.

                “Yo Seob?” her familiar voice called from the kitchen and a woman suddenly appeared. I smiled and hugged my mum tightly while tears had already started rolling down her eyes.

                I heard gasps and muffled screams from a few tables. They were saying and calling my name, especially from the table filled with high school girls. And so, I spent the next half an hour giving signatures away to the customers and listening to the girls squeal and make excited noises.

                “You’re so popular now.” My mum commented when the customers had finally left and I was helping to clean up around the restaurant.

                “Yo Seob ah,” my mum called me.

                “Hmm?”

                “What’s wrong?”

                “What’s wrong? I’m here to see you!” I said and laughed and continued to clear away the dishes.

                “It’s written all over your face darling.” My mum said gently as she walked over to me and pinched me hard on the cheeks.

                “Ouched! Onma!” I yelp but smiled all the same. She stared up at me seriously, as though trying to remember my face.

                “When was the last time you came home?” she asked.

                “Hmm, six months ago?” I said.

                She sighed. “When did my baby grew so tall that I need to lift my head just to look at your face?” I felt tears sprang to my eyes. And when did the wrinkles start to form around your eyes? When did the skin on your face lost its shine just a little? I pushed back my tears and hugged my mum again.

                “I’ll be home for two weeks. I’ll keep you company all day long ‘till you get sick of me.”

                “Alright my baby. You have to help out here though, no slacking off for you!” she smiled and carried on with her stuffs in the kitchen while I continued to clean up.

                For the next few days, I spent all my time with my mum doing everything she wants and just keep her company. One night, I even snuck into my parents’ bed at night because it was too cold while they just scolded laughingly and finally let me stay.

                That particular cold night, I accidentally saw tears ran down from my mum’s eyes while my dad wiped it away.

                “He has to grow up.” He whispered.

                “But he’s so pale and skinny and he looked unhappy.”

                “He’ll be fine. He a man now.” My dad continued to comfort my mum while I pretended to sleep between them.

                “My baby, why did you grow so fast?” my mum whispered and I felt her aged fingers brushed my hair away from my face. When the whole world failed me, at least I know my home will always stay by me. But one day, my parents are going to grow old and eventually move on. What am I going to do when that time comes?

                Five days after I’d left the city, business at our restaurant increased dramatically because many people came to see me and get signatures so I spent all my time there helping. It’s not every day their foods get served by people they see in TV. My parents were happy to see me home. It was obvious in their eyes and faces.

                That night, when the world around our small village was quiet and cold and calm, my mum called me from the living room. I got up from my seat beside the window that looks out to the frozen river and followed my mum’s voice.

                “It’s your friend! Come quick and watch.” She said looking very worried while she watched the TV intently.

                “Who?” I asked and I sat down on the floor next to her couch and my heart immediately fell to my stomach and insides clenched tightly while I stared wide-eyed at the screen.

                Doo Joon and the others were following a hospital bed pushed by paramedics looking nervous and worried and what made tears welled behind my eyes was when I saw that familiar hair laying on the bed.

                It was Jun Hyung. According to the reporter, Jun Hyung had some health problem and collapsed during practice. Doo Joon, as the leader stepped out to the reporters and said it was nothing other than fatigue and asked fans out there not to worry but I don’t believe that.

                How? How could this be? Why? Why was he sent to the hospital by an ambulance? How could this happen? What was the reason behind? Is he alright? Was it because of me? Should I go back and see him? What is the right thing to do now?

                “Is he alright?” my mum asked me while I just sat in a state of shock.

                “Yo Seob ah, what’s wrong?” a tear escaped from my eye. My mum touched my shoulder.

                “My baby, are you alright?” my mum sat down beside me wiping my tears away. I shook my head.

                “Nothing is alright.” I mumbled.

                “Do you want to go back to see them? Looks like the news were talking about your absence. Did you come back or ran back?” my mum gently asked as she rubbed my back gently.

                “I’m sorry I’m such a useless son.” I said between my tears.

                “What are you talking about? You are not useless at all. You bring money home every month and you had never done anything that brings shame to our family.”

                “I am shameful to our family.” My voice was hoarse.

                “Yo Seob ah, what have you done?! Look me in the eye and answer.” my mum said sternly and I had no choice but to lift my eyes and look at her. What I saw in her face broke my heart even harder. My mother’s aging face was lined with worry and sadness for seeing her son in such a pathetic state. I felt so sorry for her and felt so stupid and useless of me.

                “I think-“ I paused don’t know how to say it out loud.

                “What?”

                “I fell in love. Then I ran away.” She was silent for a few seconds then laughed.

                “My silly boy! And what is there to cry about just because you fell in love?!” she asked and I looked at her silently feeling sadder than ever. I pondered whether to tell her or not and started imagining her sad, shocked and disappointed face.

                When she noticed I didn’t laugh with her, she patted my head.

                “Love is such a wonderful thing. Why are these tears falling?” she said wiping my fresh tears away. I seemed to be crying a lot lately.

                “Wanna tell me who that lucky person is?” she smiled comfortingly at me.

                I looked at her for a long minute. I don’t know how to tell her. I don’t know if it’s right to tell her. Slowly, I lifted a finger then pointed to the TV that was still airing news about Jun Hyung.

                “Who?” she asked staring hard at the TV. “The news reporter? How did you get to know her?”

                “No,” I said abruptly.

                “Then who?”

                “I’m sorry mum, I don’t want to make you cry.”

                “Yo Seob ah, if you don’t want to make me cry, you wouldn’t have fought with dad and I when we tried to stop you from being a singer.”

                “Jun Hyung.” I said, suddenly feeling very tired trying to hide it from her.  She paused for a little while.

                “He got a sister?”

                “No, it’s not his sister but him.” A hand flew to as she gasped in silence. I watched as her face changes from surprise to confuse then finally to shock.

                “Yo Seob ah, are you sure?” she whispered.

                “Onma, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

                “How long? How long had it been since you like guys?”

                “I don’t like guys. I just like Jun Hyung. I had girlfriends before remember?” I said sighing while my mum just sat in silence doesn’t know what to say.

                We sat in silence for a long time and I just let her take her time to let the news sink. I was getting prepared to be disowned when my mum called out my name.

                “Yo Seob ah,” she said and came over to hug me. I gasped.

                “My poor baby. I know you’re afraid if I’m sad or disappointed but I’m not. It doesn’t matter who you love in life. It doesn’t matter because love will always be love no matter in what form. Don’t feel sorry to me. You will always be my son. The son I am always proud of. I will accept whoever you love because you’re a good boy and whoever you love will not be much difference.” She said as she my hair while I tears continue to roll down my eyes.

                “Stop crying. Onma is not angry. Because as I’d taught you before, love will always be love. Love is a beautiful thing. There’s nothing shameful about love. Nothing at all.”

                I shook my head.

                “Even so, I can’t ruin his life like this. I can’t step in and ruin everything.”

                My mum was silent for a long, long time while her hand continued to my hair.

                “I guess you’re right. Though it’s not up to you to choose.” She finally said. I wondered what she meant.

                She sighed and looked down at me, her gentle eyes smiling softly.

                “When did my baby grow so fast?” she asked, tears welled behind her eyes. “He’s even in love now and crying these bitter tears. You used to cry a lot but I wonder why you stopped suddenly. How many years had it been since I’d last seen you cry?”

                I just shrugged.

                “You were once a super cute little boy. But you changed at one point. I accept that. Everyone changes. Some for the better, while others for the worse.” She continued to say softly. “But it doesn’t matter to me at all, as long as I know my children are happy and healthy and is not doing anything defying the law, I’m happy.”

                Speechless, I just nodded.

                “Why don’t you call him now? You must be worried sick.”

                I shook my head.

                “Give him a call and ask how he is.” She said again and I just couldn’t say no. I just don’t know what to say anymore. I feel so tired.

                “Alright,” I said gently pulling away from my mum’s embrace. “I’ll give him a call.”

                I had never known that a phone call is capable in putting me into such a predicament spot. I had never known that saying ‘no’ is so hard. I had never known such painful feeling can exist. I had never known. How could I have never known?

                “Yo Seob ah, I love you.”

                These words were all it takes to make me wanna run back into his arms. These words were so precious; it took me a long, long time to wonder if they were really directed to me. These words are the reason why the world is still going around. These words were the words I can never accept. These words were the words I will always remember even if one day, they no longer directed to me.

                Saying ‘no’ is the hardest word I’d ever said and I don’t know how to measure the amount of tears I had shed that night. In my room, I laid on my bed all night long. Somehow, somewhere along the long stretch of time, I fell asleep and when I woke up to the gentle sunshine the next morning, my pillow was wet.

Yo Seob’s Mum’s POV

                What can a mother do when her son came home looking very pale and skinny and unhappy? What can a mother do to make it all alright? What can a mother do when sometimes; there is nothing that can be done? What can a mother do to ease her children’s pain? What can a mother do when her son is crying bitter tears? What can a mother do when her son cries in his sleep? What can a mother do when her son fell in love with another man? What can I do? What can I do to protect my son?

                Since the day he came back, he smiles and laughs a lot but I am the one who gave birth to him so I knew, I knew something was terribly wrong.  How many nights had passed? How many times had I caught him crying softly to himself at night? What can I do other than supporting him?

                I know Jun Hyung is a good boy. I’d seen him a few times when they came to visit. He was a rather quiet boy but nevertheless, a very kind and patient and handsome young man. I asked Yo Seob to call him up but my silly child must have messed that up cause he spent that night crying softly under his blanket.

                I am a mother. My children expect me to support them on hard times and that is what I’m going to do. No matter who my son may fall in love with, I will support him. Love will always be love no matter in what form. That is what I believe and that is what I have to let all my children believe.

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Hi people, this is the new chappie... I hope you all enjoyed it... More will be coming up so keep reading.. I want to thank you all again for the lovely comments.. It really is a big motivation for me to write better so show me more of your thoughts and love..

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