Hoodie.
Love From Afar & Love Returned
Here he is lying in my bed, cuddled up against me. His breathing is soft and rhythmic. He looks angelic, even if he has a small stream of drool coming out of the corner mouth. I reach over to wipe it off, but stop. I can’t. Not anymore. I rip myself away from the sight of his lean body sleeping next to me, away from the sight of his drool. Slowly, I get out of bed. The cold air stings my bare chest and I immediately want to jump back in, cuddle up against Lu Han and bury myself into everything that he is. But, I can’t. I head out towards the bathroom, forcing myself away from him. It’s like he has his own gravity. He pulls me in with more force every step I take. I want to give in, but I slingshot away.
When I open the door, D.O walks past holding the laundry basket.
“Good timing. I got your clothes... Oh, and Lu Han's” he says completely out of breath as he dug through the basket. “Here, that’s all of it. And I don’t remember washing your hoodie, but it was on the drying rack. I ironed it for you.”
Hoodie? What hoodie?
“Uhh… Thanks.”
D.O walks off without another word, hastily finding everyone else to return their laundry. My grey hoodie sits neat and crisp on top of the pile. I swear I haven’t worn ever since I packed it a week ago. Well whatever, at least I have something to wear now. I’m freezing. I walk back into the bedroom and separate my clothing from his. I dump Lu Han’s clothes on his empty bed and file away mine into the wardrobe. I don’t even look at my bed. I pull my hoodie on and catch a waft of dry rain and something familiar. Must be the detergent.
~
I head to the kitchen after freshening up. I walk past my bedroom door without a single glance. I guess I should feel proud of myself or something. A few of the members are watching television on the couch.
“Morning.” Greets Se Hun. Lay and Chen give a small smile and a nod.
“Morning.”
“Manager-hyung’s in the kitchen. You’ve got something lined up today.”
I sigh. My body still aches from the crash course choreography I had to learn before.
“Alright, thanks.”
I drag my feet towards the kitchen. Our manager, Baek Hyun and Lay are sitting at the kitchen table, laughing loudly.
“And then I went all crazy on his-“ Chan Yeol stops. His wide eyes full of energy downcasts upon my arrival.
“Uhh…Chan Yeol?” a confused Baek Hyun asks.
“I gotta go ask Kris-hyung something. Talk to you guys later.”
Chan Yeol gets up and rushes out, avoiding close proximity to me. My manager and Baek Hyun just look at me. Is it that obvious that I’m to blame for Chan Yeol’s odd behaviour.
“Morning.” I say as I bow to Manager-hyung.
“What was that?” he questions immediately, ignoring my morning greet.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me. You’re already on the s with that Chinese one, now your moving onto everyone else?” He slams his palms onto the kitchen table. Baek Hyun softly squeals before slightly curling into a ball.
“It’s nothing. I can sort it out.”
“You better. You have a routine to learn today.”
“For another teaser?” I ask as Baek Hyun gets out of his chair. He smiles at me before leaving
.
“Yeah. You’ll be doing it with – Oh,” he stops to slip in a small chuckle before pointing behind me. “You’ll be doing it with him.”
“Me?” the voice stabs knifes into the corners of my back.
Head held firmly ahead, I head over to the fridge without looking back. I pretend to look for food, but in reality I’m hiding. Hiding from what? From him. I didn’t even need to turn around to know whose voice it belongs to.
“You and Jong-In have a teaser to film next week. I hope you can keep up with him, Lu Han. He’s a fast learner.”
“I’ll do my best.”
I can hear Lu Han’s footsteps tread closer towards me. My breath turns shallow and the cold fridge air makes my breathing sound like wheezing. He walks around me, bends down and squeezes beside me. Lu Han peers into the fridge, centimetres away from me. His gaze eventually lands on my hoodie. Eyes bursting open and breath hitched, he suddenly grabs the jar of strawberry jam, as if he was caught doing something illegal. He lunges himself out of the fridge and starts to take fast and long strides out of the kitchen, all the while holding the jar of jam.
“Jam-only for breakfast? Are you serious?” asks my manager. “That’s not healthy.”
Lu Han stares at the jar in his hand, before taking a few seconds to realise what it was.
“I-…um...I’m eating it with bread. I-I’ve got bread in my luggage. And knifes and plates and-“ Lu Han stutters, face painted with a rosy tinge. “I’m-I’m going to go now.”
And he rushes off, strawberry jam still in hand.
“Bread in his luggage? The hell is up with this kid?” asks my manager.
“When do we leave?” I ask, completely ignoring his question.
“Bout’ another twenty?” he replies while chewing on his sandwich. “Tell that kid for me.”
I grab and apple and walk out.
. I can’t spend the whole day with him. I can’t. Not now. I need to get away from him, get away from his gravity. The door to our bedroom is open. I sneak a peek in, only to see Lu Han buried in my bed. The jar of strawberry jam haphazardly lies on the floor. I walk out of view.
“We leave in twenty.” I say from the doorway. I can hear him shoot up from the sound of my voice, but I walk away.
I take a bite from the apple, letting the sweet juices wash my mouth out. I don’t even know where I’m walking towards. I just need to get away. I end up in front of Chan Yeol and Kris’ room. The door is shut, but I can still hear muffled chatter. I knock.
“Chan Yeol? Can we talk?”
There’s silence on the other side, then whispers and then an obvious shout.
“Go, you idiot!” It’s Kris.
“Fine!”
A few hesitant seconds later, the door creaks open. Chan Yeol’s eye peeks through.
“Hey.” I greet.
"Hi.”
The awkwardness fills the air, until Kris steps in.
“You two are so stupid.” He pushes Chan Yeol aside, opens the door wide and pulls me in. “Just talk it out here, okay?”
And then Kris leaves.
Chan Yeol sits awkwardly on his bed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. I bite through the rest of my apple before speaking up.
“Sorry. Sorry about last night. I just….wasn’t feeling right.”
“It’s okay! It’s okay… I just have a short temper.” Chan Yeol smiles while looking at his lap. “You were probably tired from filming all day, anyway.”
“Thanks.”
We both look down at our laps, now. The apple core starts to yellow. Apologising was easier than I had thought. Then again, it might be because Chan Yeol is just that type of person that’ll forgive and forget.
“I see you got your hoddie back.”
“…My what?”
“Your hoodie.”
“Uhh… yeah.” I don’t quite understand what he’s saying, but I agree with him anyway. A hoodie isn’t that important to fuss over.
“He got it completely drenched in the rain the other day. No wonder it took so long to dry. Wasted space on the clothing line in the process. And what’s up with him? Playing on the swings in the rain like that.”
Wait, what?
“Wait, who is this?”
“Lu Han.”
“What?!” I shout startling Chan Yeol to the point where his eyes bulge out like a madman’s. “Lu Han?!”
“Uhh… yeah?” he starts panicking, eyes darting side to side as if he’s looking for a way to escape. “You lent him your hoodie.”
“And why did I do that?”
“He had no warm enough clothes? I don’t know…”
“Right.” Lu Han? Hoodie? I begin to notice how the hoodie feels on my bare torso, how soft it feels, how Lu Han had worn it before, how we’re somehow connected through wearing the same hoodie. My heart starts to bubble up. In fell swoop, I take the hoodie off. I'm half-.
“W-what are you doing?!” asks Chan Yeol, staring at my bare chest.
“Nothing. I’ll see you around?”
He’s too speechless to reply. I walk back into my bedroom shirtless, holding the hoodie in my hand. Lu Han’s nowhere in sight. I collapse on my bed. It’s warm. Lu Han’s warmth remains. I immediately roll of out my bed and fall on the floor. The timber boards spark a chain of pain from the sores of my limbs. I lie there for a while mulling over things. The hoodie, the smell of it. Rain and something familiar. Rain and the scent of watery-citrus. When did Lu Han even get a hold of it? I get up slowly, manoeuvring my body in such a way to minimise the pain. Once I get up, I toss the hoodie on my bed and open the wardrobe. I choose a suitable outfit for dancing; sweat pants and a jumper. I want to wear my hoodie, but I can’t, so I resort to a black windbreaker.
The door opens. Lu Han comes in. He’s already changed. He’s only wearing a short-sleeved shirt and jeans. Isn’t he cold? He grabs a few things from his bedside table, places it in his green backpack and leaves without a word. I stare blankly the door way with some vain hope that he’ll return. And then what? Hug me? Stop it, Jong-in. You sound pathetic.
I take my time getting ready, slowly packing the essentials, an Ipod, my phone, my cap. I can hear my manager’s voice from the living room.
“Yeah… you need to wear a jacket or something. We’re walking to the studio today.” The manager says to Lu Han.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you can’t get sick on me. Not now, at least. Go get something.”
“I don’t exactly have something.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I can imagine my manager’s head shaking and Lu Han rolling his eyes. “Just go find something.”
I can hear Lu Han start to walk over.
I don’t know why, but I rush over to my bed, grab my hoodie and toss it randomly onto Lu Han’s bed. I look at where it landed. It’s way too out of place. I run over and neatly fold it. His footsteps are almost here. I pat the hoodie a few times, before turning around just in time to see Lu Han enter. I immediately avert my eyes and walk past him. I jog over to my manager.
“Thank god I don’t have to worry about your clothing. Seriously, what is that kid thinking?” he seems genuinely relieved to see me wear something sensible.
We make idle small talk while we wait for Lu Han to get ready. A few of the other band members pat me on the back, telling me to keep up with the good work.
“Bout’ time,” My manager says peering over my shoulder. “That’s way better.”
I turn around to see Lu Han walk towards me.
His head is down and his face is painted a rosy pink.
He's playing with the hem of my grey hoodie.
It suits him.
___________________________________________
Many apologies for this very late update. My exams finished last Thursday and I’ve been busy partying (lies) and just relaxing. It’s not much of an update, but don’t worry. I’ll be updating more frequently from now on. Who knows, maybe tomorrow? Or even today? Don’t get your hopes up.
Thank you for all your kind comments and such. You guys are the best. It’s hard to believe how big this has blown up. It wouldn’t have happened without each and every one of you!
PS. For those who wanted to read other little stories and clippets of my writing here’s my blog link:
http://thelinesthatintersect.blogspot.com.au
It's a personal/hidden blog so don't do anything funny!
I posted the link up as an updated chapter, but that felt stupid so I removed it.
OH, and I think I might do a one-shot fic soon. So keep a look out!
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