“Donghaaaaeee-aaaaaaah.”

I murmured and looked at my math homework. That was seriously boring and all I could concentrate on was imagining Donghae doing different things; playing soccer, watching tv, eating, playing, smiling, running, stargazing... with me.

I sighed and continued to calculate some things. The only calculation that made sense to me was 1+1=2. Yes, me and Donghae, always being together, going through thick and thin, having fun, doing several things, kiss each other, stay at each other's house... That made sense, that was lively, not a mere number on a piece of paper. I tilted my head to look out of my window, I wonder what this inner feeling is.

Whenever I went to bed, the only thing that would come to my mind was Donghae. His smiling face. Whenever I wake up, I'd always imagine Donghae. Whenever I was concentrating on homework, Donghae would pop up in my head. Whenever I'd try to take a break, Donghae would fill my head.

The day was filled with Donghae. Donghae here, Donghae there. I didn't mind him. It was better than this burden of calculations. Better than this burden of stupid calculations I would never need in real life. Where the heck would someone ask me after sine, cosine, tangent? Right nowhere!

I pointed with my finger at his window, waiting for him to open it and smiled at me, but on that day it never happened. After letting out a big sigh I waled over to my bed and decided that would be best to go sleeping. I was tired after having a long day of sports competition. The result was good. I could even be called the master of the game, since I blocked more than 4 attacks. Well, we won 2:1, but it wasn't that great of a soccer play, but still... Donghae was watching me.

After that the boys soccer play followed. Of course, Donghae was the man on the field. He told me, he did his best, since he had to. Had to, that implies a reason, that is my very own being, who watched him. Yes, that was what he told me. He was playing like a god, he was fast, he was sharp, he just knew how to win. I wasn't sad for the other team. They were just to weak after all.

I looked back to his window. Nothing opened. Wasn't he doing well? Oh no, don't tell me, he caught a cold? 

Yada, he didn't. I sighed and walked over to the window. I sat down on the ledge and still looked at his window. When he would open it, I would have crashed down to earth right away. Instead of that I enjoyed the cool breeze, when suddenly a teardrop landed on my face and rushed down my cheek. “Huh?” I looked at the sky and noticed that it was raining. Perfect, so I called it a day and went back to bed.

The next day Donghae didn't appear for the first period. I wondered what was wrong. Did he really catch a cold? If yes, then it would be my fault. Firstly, he gave me his umbrella. Secondly, he offered me his gloves. Thirdly, he even handed me his scarf. I owned actually everything and of course he had to freeze!

I shook my head lightly, only to meet my sister's gaze. Lately she was very intense and I could feel the cold air around her. I knew that she disliked me, but she never showed and she never was so frankly telling me about it. I never met her taste, but I was quite okay with it. I didn't have to meet anyone's expectations. I am who I am, I would never pretend to be another only to get my sister's respect.

Yes, what a shame.

Suddenly the door opened and Donghae entered the room for the second period, Math that was. I stared at him. He still had his 'bed hair' and looked extremely cute. He placed himself besides me and smiled at me. “Sorry. Did you worry?” he asked me and I nodded, I was just very honest.

“Ah, Fishy caught a cold, so we went to the doctor. I am alone for the next days, so I was late today, because I was still caring for-”

“Donghae-sshi?” I looked at my sister, who was already waiting for him and she was upset. I could tell just by looking at her. Her eyebrows were raised and the little wrinkles almost made me laugh. What was up, sister?

“Yes?” Donghae asked, who slightly showed anger, because she cut him off... I guessed that back then. I kept looking at them. They would match as a couple. They were both popular and really good-looking. After all, both had more in common than I had with Donghae. It made me sad, but I did not show my sadness. It would only make my sister laugh at me.

“Did you think about it?”

I knew what that was about. I quickly hid my face and turned to the windows. It was still about her question. It was already weird that she had to ask. It was not like that. The boys would always come and ask her, but since Donghae never showed interest in her, she went to ask him. Now I wondered, what he was thinking. Would he reject her or gladly accept the invitation? Clearly, latter would punch the daylights out of me.

“Yes, I did.” he quickly answered and I couldn't help myself, but to stand up and go, but my sister grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. “So... will you go out with me?” she asked and I saw that Donghae also got up from his chair. “I won't.” he said loudly, to her dismay. He was almost shouting and I couldn't tell, how happy I was. If I could, I would have hugged the world. In this very moment, the grip around my wrist tightened, so much that it already hurt.

I whimpered quietly, but Donghae noticed it already and slapped my sister's hand. “You're hurting her.” he stood up for me and looked angrily at my sister, who seemed to be a bit scared with her eyes wide open and no smile on it, almost made it seem to look plain. I looked at Hae's back. He got manlier these days. His back was big and his shoulders were wide. He was strong, you could just tell by looking at him and I was doing that anyways.

“Why?” my sister asked and I looked away. What a good question? How can you reject Gaehwa? Everybody wanted to go out with her. Not that I would mind that. I only wanted to be with Donghae, who was the one I loved for more than 6 years now. I clearly remembered how we met each other. He was such a kid, but he turned into such a handsome man.

“Why, you ask? Well, there is someone I love. She's the only one in my heart and do you know how she conquered it? She JUST looked at me.”

Imagination in this moment was that Donghae stuck his tongue out at her.... That was weird.

I looked at Donghae and a smile appeared on my face. So he already is in love and that confession now was... how should I say it... cute? Conquer someone's heart just by looking at that person, that must be great. But who was that person anyways? I totally wanted to be the person, but putting me into that figure, it seemed too weird. That somebody must be much more confident than I am! I so got that feeling that time, but still... I was happy.

I didn't have to see them as a happy couple. It would have been annoying and I didn't want to be dreaming about my sister's boyfriend. That would be rude and... kind of disgusting, having interested in Gaehwa's boyfriend. It would be her boyfriend after all, not mine.

Soon Donghae turned his face to me and smiled. Again, I nearly felt my heart exploding. I knew that I was blushing like crazy, but there was nothing to stop the blood from rushing into my face. Uh, Donghae!

“Kaja~” he howled and dragged me away from my sister, very quickly and smooth, but still... all the other stared me down and I didn't like to have their eyes on me. I never wanted to be popular like that! They were suspicious staring at me, I wanted admiring gazes... Seriously, not something like those.

He dragged me outside of the school and along the way. “She didn't hurt you, right?” he asked me and I smiled. “I am fine. Everything's okay.” I said to him and he put his hand on my cheek. “Then... You're okay.” he whispered and I smiled. This time around, I could enjoy his presence almost easily. I ignored the racing of my heart and walked with him back to our houses.

“I am alone these days. Want to sleep over?”