You know?

Different thoughts fill my head.

I wonder...

Would it be selfish to wish that he would just look at me? It probably would be, but I don't mind. I am selfish. That's why it shouldn't matter. Him looking at me, that would be heaven on earth. It might be a bit exaggerated, since I am not a christian, not even near being one. But... I feel that I'd be happy.

I also wonder...

Should I speak to him? Wouldn't I just be wasting his precious time? I probably would, that's why I decided not to speak. Just secretly stealing a glance or two... Yes, that would be more like me. Only looking at him, that's great.

You know?

He has such beautiful brown eyes. I feel like they would see right through me, so I better not speak to him.

Still...

Trying to speak once shouldn't hurt, right?

Now, thinking about it twice...

It should hurt, so I would not try.

Thinking about this 'issue' like that... It feels kind of pathetic. I am just so pathetic... Why can't I just talk to him, like any other girl would do? Ah yes, firstly I look pretty poor. Might be just my imagination, but I am broke anyways. My grades in school... let's just say they settle down at the end of the scale. Thirdly, I have an older sister. We're not blood related, a fact not many know. She's very beautiful, very popular... She's the school beauty.

I wonder what he's thinking about her. If she's his type? Or.. not? Ah~ I'd so like to know!

Lately I've found out that he's dancing. He must be pretty good. I never saw him though. Good god, I am not so crazy to go and watch him, after all I am shy. Which reminds me I am always blushing when I look at him...

This is a pain in the neck.

He's very handsome. He has a lot of muscles. Yes, that might be me, taking a closer look at his arms... He also has a nice back! Hopefully I am not being erted here. He's so very good-looking. Words can't possibly describe him.

Wonderful lips, beautiful chocolate brown eyes, short dark wavy hair, sometimes a bit messy, like he has just come out of bed, sometimes straight, which I also like. I like his hair. He's tall compared to me, standing at 5'2' it might not be that hard to pass my height, but he so does. As said, he has strong arms. He would be good at protecting, I guess.

He's a fast runner, like, uhm, really fast! He likes to play basketball though... But I guess he's a er for soccer. The way he plays is hypnotizing though. Through my window I can always watch him play, which reminds me, we're neighbors. Sometimes I can see him in his room.. (ah, this feels so stalker-like...)

He also has a beautiful voice. Sometimes I feel like I am hearing him sing, he's a genius... He really is, his grades are perfect. He's smart.

One time I... I saw him taking off his clothes in his room.

You know what?

With reddened cheeks I just hid behind my cupboard. That was just way too embarrassing. One time I almost ran into him on the street. I was so in a hurry, that I did not even realize that it was him. I am still sorry, since I stepped on his foot. He must really think that his neighbor is some kind of freak.

We always meet in school, but I don't have friends. I am always alone. But really, nobody feels like speaking to me and I don't bother. I once lost a friend, starting to develop sincere feelings for friends, in the end, it might just make me upset, though I'd really like to have friends.

Oh how I'd like to be like my sister, straightforward, confident, smart, beautiful.. just so perfect. I'd approach him and tell him my feelings.

“Hey, Donghae... I really like you.”