(BLUE = flashback)

 

„Good morning,“ a really pretty girl with long brown hair bowed her head and took of her sunglasses.

“Oh, are you Miss Hwang?” a woman in her forties in a suit asked.

“Yes, Tiffany Hwang.”

“Doctor Park Si Yeon. Please, come inside,” the lady invited Tiffany into her consulting room.

“Thank you, doctor Park,” Tiffany bowed before she entered and sat into an armchair.

“So…” doctor Park sat across the table and took out a notebook and a pen. “Miss Hwang… Or can I call you Tiffany?”

“Tiffany is fine,” the patient replied with a slight smile.

“Tiffany, I read your email, but can you tell me more about your current situation?”

“Well… You probably know, but I’m SNSD’s Tiffany. And I’m in love with one of my members…”

 

 

A few weeks ago:

Tiffany was lying on her bed, alone in her room, just randomly browsing internet. She was bored, so she checked her secret twitter account. She actually followed a few SONEs, so maybe somebody tweeted something interesting.

Photos. Gifs. Info about a new Japanese single… Wait, we’re having a new Japanese single? I thought it’s supposed to be a full album already… Uhh… never mind… Random blabber… Hey, what is this?

‘Guys, check out this TaeNy one-shot, it’s awesome! NC17!!’

Tiffany yawned and clicked it. She had really nothing to do, so she may at least read something. She looked at the fanfiction and started reading. It didn’t took her long until she realized this is gonna be really ty without any proper plot.

It was about her, Tiffany, going to some kind of night club and eventually hooking up with a random , Taeyeon. They had a passionate . It was very well written. Very… detailed.

Suddenly Tiffany realized, she’s getting . “Damn,” she uttered in English when she felt her got somehow… wet. “Oh god… Damn it…” She didn’t even finish the story, she just put the lap top aside and sat up. She took a deep breath, hoping those weird feelings will go away. She thought about unicorns and rainbows.

This definitely wasn’t the first she has ever read, but it was her first TaeNy . And this one was sure very good. She fanned herself and went to kitchen to get some water. She was alone in the dorm, except for Jessica who was sleeping, so she didn’t met anybody. She eventually calmed down and went back to her room to get some sleep…

 

 

“So that’s how it all started? You felt aroused after reading an story involving you and Taeyeon?”

Tiffany blushed and looked away before answering. “Well… yes,” she admitted.

“But that doesn’t mean you love her. Maybe you’re just somehow ually frustrated,” the doctor stated.

Tiffany’s cheeks were now completely red. “That’s not all… Everything was okay, until I met her the following morning.”

 

 

“Hey, Fany,” Taeyeon smiled brightly as Tiffany walked into the kitchen. Taeyeon was preparing some breakfast.

“Hi, Taeng,” Tiffany greeted back. She had a weird feeling. Taeyeon was wearing her casual clothes and had no make-up on. But Tiffany couldn’t help but stare at her, seeing her in a… ual way. Okay, so she was imagining Taeyeon or even having with her. Disturbing. Very disturbing actually. Taeyeon finished the sandwiches she was making and gave Tiffany a plate with one of them. When she leaned over the table, Tiffany just had to notice her cleavage. She gulped. “Thanks, TaeTae.”

“Sure,” Taeyeon smiled and Tiffany took a deep breath, so she wouldn’t get . It surprisingly worked, so she started to eat.

“Tastes great,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” Taeyeon grinned and put her hand on Tiffany’s shoulder for a second before leaving the room. Tiffany shivered at the sudden contact. It’s not like this type of affection was unusual, it’s just this time it felt different. Somehow… sensual.

 

 

“But that still doesn’t have to mean anything,” the doctor said.

Tiffany sighed. “Yeah… I thought so too… I thought I just really need to… you know… get laid.”

“Have you tried to e?”

Tiffany’s face turned completely red and she uncomfortably shifted. “Well… I… tried.”

 

 

The following day, Tiffany had some time before the group had a CF shooting for Casio watches. She locked the door of her room, laid on the bed, took her laptop and browsed internet for some . “This isn’t nice anymore…” she mumbled to herself. She wanted to get rid of the frustration. She clicked soma random video and started to watch. There was some guy having with a girl… well, it was , no need to describe. Tiffany watched with a straight face and then she slowly slid her left hand into her . She really wanted to touch herself, but her body refused to cooperate. She wasn’t at all. “Damn…” she clicked another video, this time lesbian . Maybe this one can get her off. But nothing.

“Gah! Seriously, what more could possibly ?” she complained aloud. Suddenly that TaeNy crossed her mind. Since her left hand was still in her pants, she felt she got aroused as soon as the though appeared. “Oh no no no!” Tiffany mumbled. She took the hand out, put the laptop aside and stood up. “This is NOT ,” she said aloud to herself and abruptly left the room.

 

 

“So you tried, but couldn’t?”

“That’s right,” Tiffany nodded.

“Why didn’t you continue while thinking about that story?”

“Are you serious?” Tiffany scoffed. “ing over my best friend? That’s like… one of the mortal sins, isn’t it?”

“Okay then,” the doctor nodded and wrote something down. “Please continue.”

 

 

The Casio CF shooting went fine. They were shooting individual photos; Tiffany went fifth after Jessica, Hyoyeon, Sunny and Yoona. She personally thought she did great. Some girls, including Taeyeon, were still in the dressing room, getting their clothing and make-up done.

Tiffany was done for the day, so she was allowed to go home, just like Hyoyeon, Yoona and Sunny already did. But she had nothing to do, so she just stayed there along with Jessica, watching others.

Now it was Yuri’s turn and Tiffany had to admit, she looked super hot. Even Jessica looked somehow mesmerized.

“She looks so beautiful,” the older girl mumbled.

Tiffany heard her and chuckled, but didn’t say anything.

Yuri finished her individual photos and the next one up was the maknae, Seohyun. The thorough Seohyun did great and she was done quite quickly. Only Taeyeon and Sooyoung were left.

Jessica, Seohyun and Yuri were about to leave the set. “Coming with us, Fany-yah?”

“Nah, I’ll just go with Sooyoung and Taeng,” Tiffany answered, shaking her head.

“Okay.”

Taeyeon was the next one. Tiffany just sat there and stared. Taeyeon with a full make-up on, wearing y clothes, her hair floating in a fake wind. The leader winked several times while taking the pictures, she was acting cute, she was acting y. And Tiffany was sweating. A lot. She fanned herself and took a deep breath. Why are you doing this to me, Taeyeon-ah? she thought. Then she gulped. “Why are you so perfect?”

 

 

“That means she made you ually aroused just by usual activities?” doctor Park asked.

“Well… yes,” Tiffany nodded. This was really embarrassing for her, but she had to tell somebody. It had been suffocating her for a several weeks already. Of course she couldn’t tell other members or other friends. She actually considered her sister, but then she changed her mind, that would be even more embarrassing. Imagine saying your sister you love your best friend, girl by the way, and she’s turning you on. So she just chose to contact a psychologist. There’s still something called medical confidentiality, so she had nothing to worry about. And it was also good to talk with an unbiased person.

“But are you sure you love her? Maybe you’re just physically attracted to her.”

“I am sure,” Tiffany said, firm. “After a while I started to see her in a different way.”

 

 

A few days later, the group had a day off. Taeyeon was cooking some lunch while the others were playing around or resting. Tiffany was sitting in the kitchen, pretending to read. In fact, she just wanted to be in Taeyeon’s presence. She managed to control her ual needs already, so she wasn’t avoiding Taeyeon anymore. But she started to admire her in every way possible. She couldn’t understand her own feelings at all. It was like a roller-coaster. But she didn’t want to the leader anymore. Fortunately. She just wanted to back hug her and sniff her hair. And that’s not weird at all. She wanted to express all the love she had for her. She wanted to thank her for taking care of them so well. She wanted to pay her back for everything. She gulped.

“Hungry already?” Taeyeon smiled when she noticed Tiffany staring at her.

“Huh? O-oh, yeah.”

Taeyeon chuckled and continued to cook.

Tiffany looked back at the magazine, but she still didn’t read. She was just thinking. About Taeyeon. Oh damn…

 

 

How can a person be so perfect? That was the question in Tiffany’s head.

Taeyeon just returned from a hair stylist. She dyed her hair back brown and she looked simply tooo cute to handle. Oh well, Tiffany couldn’t handle it. She just wanted to hug the short girl all the time and Taeyeon’s y side started to turn her on again. But not that often anymore. Tiffany knew for sure now. She fell in love.

Taeyeon noticed the sudden change of Tiffany’s behavior, but she didn’t suspect anything like one-sided love. Or at least Tiffany believed so.

Taeyeon seemed to enjoy touchy Tiffany. Tiffany now hugged her a lot, didn’t slap her playfully when the leader touched her and she even kissed her cheek once…

It was after Tiffany returned to Korea from her 3 days long stay in Thailand. She suffered over there. She enjoyed the fans, but Siwon was annoying and she was Taeyeon deprived. She was so happy when she came back…

 

“Happy belated birthday!” Taeyeon cheered and hugged surprised Tiffany as soon as she opened the door of their dorm.

“Ah, Taeyeon-ah!” Tiffany shrieked in excitement and once Taeyeon let go of her, she looked around the living room. It was decorated with a few balloons and there was a cake.

But… “Where are the others?”

“They all have some schedules.”

“And you don’t?”

“Nah,” Taeyeon shook her head. “They wanted me at some variety show, but I refused knowing you’re returning today, the others couldn’t, so- uh, Fany-yah!” Taeyeon almost lost her balance when Tiffany hugged her. “You’re so amazing, thank you so much!” Without a further thinking, Tiffany kissed Taeyeon’s cheek. When she realized, she blushed a bit. Taeyeon looked surprised for a second, but then she just laughed it off. “You’re so cute, hahaha.” Tiffany let out a relieved sighed. Then she unconsciously her lips. That… was… nice…

 

Later that evening, Tiffany realized this is starting to get out of her hands. Her infatuation is going too far. This might hurt not only her, but also Taeyeon, other members and even their fans. She realized she needs to get rid of those feelings… But how?

 

 

 

“So I started to avoid Taeyeon again and I got really depressed and then I ended up writing you an e-mail. End of my story,” Tiffany said with a sigh.

“So right now, you’re avoiding her, but your feeling remain the same?” the doctor asked.

“Yes,” Tiffany nodded.  “In fact, I’m afraid those feelings might be actually growing.”

The doctor wrote something into her notebook. “I see… And you think avoiding her is the best solution?”

“…Yes?” Tiffany said after a while.

“What if she feels the same?”

“No way,” Tiffany laughed.

“What makes you so sure?”

Tiffany hesitated. “She’s… my best friend. And… she’s a girl… She doesn’t seem to like me that way.”

“But what if she does? From the way you talk and even sit, I can see you’re usually a very bright and out-going person. But I can also see your current depression. You need to be more confident, Tiffany.”

The patient sighed. “So what are you telling me to do?”

“Just… test waters, if you know what I mean.”

 

 

One week later:

“Oh, Tiffany, you’re here already?”

“I know I’m here early, but I hope you don’t mind. I can wait, if it’s needed, doctor Park.”

“That’s fine, come inside please…”

They sit down and the doctor smiled. “So, how are you doing?”

“Not sure…” Tiffany answered with a smile as well.

“Tell me about your week.”

“So… we had SM Town concert in Tokyo…”

 

 

Tiffany and Taeyeon were getting ready TaeTiSeo & EXO special stage. The thorough Seohyun was already done. Tiffany was getting her hair done and she couldn’t help but sneakily glance at Taeyeon from times to time. Taeyeon was changing her clothes. Tiffany bit her lower lip. She really needs to do something. But when will it be the right time?

She couldn’t really focus during the whole concert. She was nervous because of the thing she wanted to do. They had two concerts in row, so they were staying in Japan over night. And in the hotel, Taeyeon shared room with Yoona and Hyoyeon. Well, good for Tiffany, she knew these two will help her.

Right after the concert, Tiffany got into the van where Hyoyeon was sitting along with Jessica, Sooyoung and Sunny. She wanted to tell Hyoyeon quietly, but unfortunately, Taeyeon was the last one, who entered the van.

Tiffany sighed. She took out her cell phone and wrote something. Then she showed it to Hyoyeon.

‘Can you take Yoona out tonight, so I can talk with Taeyeon in private? Few minutes are enough.’

Hyoyeon read it and looked at her, confused.

‘Please~ It’s important, I need to tell her something.’

Hyoyeon took her phone typed:

‘Why is it such a secret? You wanna confess her your love or something?’

She passed the phone back to Tiffany with a mischievous smirk. Tiffany didn’t find it funny at all though. She gave Hyoyeon a pleading look. “Wait, that’s for real?” Hyoyeon asked aloud.

“What?” Sunny asked, curious.

“Nothing,” Tiffany quickly answered. Before she gave Hyoyeon a meaningful look.

“Okay,” Hyoyeon mumbled eventually and Tiffany smiled.

“Thanks a lot.”

 

 

She took a deep breath. It was here. Hyoyeon just texted her she and Yoona are in the hotel restaurant, eating their late dinner. The text also said Taeyeon’s taking a shower. So Tiffany waited for a while before knocking.

It took a while for Taeyeon to open. She was in her cute blue pajama, her hair wrapped in a towel. She was obviously surprised at the sudden visit and Tiffany felt all her courage go away.

“Hey Tiffany.”

“Hi,” Tiffany smiled nervously.

“Come inside,” Taeyeon invited and Tiffany entered. “So, you’re not avoiding me anymore?” the leader asked and Tiffany gulped.

“Y-you noticed?”

“Everybody noticed,” Taeyeon let our and awkward laugh.

“Well, that’s why I’m here,” Tiffany admitted, but she wasn’t really determined to continue.

“What is it, Tiffany? Did I do something wrong? What is bothering you?” Taeyeon asked, caring.

Tiffany shook her head, looking on the floor. “You did nothing wrong. You’re perfect. And that’s the problem.”

“I don’t… get it,” Taeyeon frowned.

“I… you became too perfect in my eyes. You enchanted me somehow. I can’t explain it, but I suddenly started to feel different about you. I started to care more about you, I started to appreciate you more. I love you, you know that.” Tiffany took a deep breath. “But I think those feelings aren’t just friendly anymore.”

Taeyeon’s expression softened. “Tiffany…”

“Wait, I’m not done yet. I don’t want to feel what I feel. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I want to stop those feeling from getting any deeper, because I clearly realized they can only hurt us and destroy everything. I hope you will still treat me the same as before despite everything I just said. I will continue avoiding you until those weird feelings are gone. Please don’t approach me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship nor the bond in our group. … Now I’m done,” Tiffany said with a faint smile.

Taeyeon was so surprised, she couldn’t say a word. Tiffany sighed and left the room, leaving the dumbfounded Taeyeon alone.

 

 

“So… you actually confessed,” the doctor said.

“Yes,” Tiffany nodded.

“And then?”

“I didn’t talk to her anymore. She wanted to talk to me, but she respected my request and didn’t approach me. And I made sure we were never in a same room alone,” Tiffany smiled, happy with herself.

Doctor Park frowned. “How do you know how she feels then? You haven’t really given her any chance to express herself.”

Tiffany laughed. “Isn’t it obvious? She thinks I’m a freak.”

The doctor wrote something down, before speaking up again. “You need to talk to her about it. That’s your task until our next meeting. Talk to her.”

Tiffany just nodded. Then they chatted for a few more minutes, before Tiffany left. She told the doctor she would talk to Taeyeon, but in fact, she was determined to avoid her until those feelings disappear.

 

 

The first day, Tiffany got lucky. Taeyeon was off to record her new OST. The second day, she got lucky again. This time it was her turn to record her own OST with Kyuhyun. The third day, they were flying to Yeosu because of their Expo performance. And Tiffany got unlucky. She knew before she won’t be able to avoid Taeyeon there that well, but she just hoped they wouldn’t be close or alone. But they ended up sitting next to each other on the plane.

There was a really awkward atmosphere between them. Tiffany was pretending to read and Taeyeon had her earphones plugged in. Tiffany just thanked got Yeosu isn’t too far away. Suddenly she felt Taeyeon’s eyes on her.

She tried to ignore it, but… “Tiffany.”

“Uhmmm… Yes?” she said, still pretending to read. Taeyeon’s voice surprised her. And the way she said her name, with the F instead of the usual P… It wasn’t cute at all. It sounded rather serious.

“Look at me Tiffany.” Taeyeon’s voice was quiet and calm, but somehow sharp and firm at the same time.

Tiffany hesitated for a few seconds before she slowly looked up and stared at Taeyeon.

“Tell me, what is your problem?” Taeyeon asked.

Tiffany gritted her teeth. “You know very well what my problem is.”

Taeyeon slightly smiled. Tiffany couldn’t tell what’s happening in the leader’s head.

“I don’t want you to avoid me because of that. I miss you.”

Tiffany uncomfortably shifted. She sure didn’t expect this.

“Fine, you don’t have to talk to me, you don’t have to be overly friendly with me, but at least look at me from time to time. Don’t avoid me, it’s driving me crazy, I really miss you.”

Tiffany gulped. Taeyeon look seriously upset.

“I’m sorry, TaeTae… I… can’t… I still feel weird around you. It’s more comfortable to just avoid you,” Tiffany eventually admitted honestly. After all, Taeyeon was still her best friend, no need to lie.

“Fany-yah…” Taeyeon said, softly. “We’re flying back this evening, right?”

Tiffany just nodded.

“Come at midnight into my and Sunny’s room.”

Tiffany gulped. “W-why?”

“We need to talk about this. In private,” Taeyeon said as she looked around the plane.

Tiffany nodded.

They didn’t talk anymore after that….

 

 

Tiffany’s heart was trembling out of nervousness. The day passed by too quickly. She stood in the dark corridor of their dorm. She didn’t bother to turn on the lights. Or well, she didn’t want anybody to know she’s sneaking into Taeyeon’s room. She was standing in front of the door. Sunny wasn’t here, so Taeyeon should be alone in the room.

Tiffany took a deep breath. The midnight was here. She opened the door without knocking and was welcomed by even deeper darkness.

“T-Taeyeon?” she whispered and stared at the silhouette standing by the window.

“Close the door,” Taeyeon ordered and moved.

Tiffany turned around to do so and when she looked back to the window, Taeyeon was gone. “W-where are you?” she asked and looked around. Her eyes couldn’t really adjust to the darkness. She heard footsteps, but she was too nervous to indicate where it comes from.

“T-T-Tae? What…?”

“Ssshhh~”

Okay, now that sounded dangerously close.

“Tell me… How do you feel about me?” Taeyeon whispered.

Tiffany could feel Taeyeon’s warm breath on her cheek so she turned her head a little. She sensed Taeyeon’s presence and almost could see her face. Almost. Then Taeyeon put her hand on Tiffany’s shoulder, causing the younger girl to shiver.

“I…”

“…You?”

“I… I…“

“Tell me, Fany-yah… I want to hear it.”

“I… love you. Very very much,” Tiffany said, too bad Tiffany couldn’t see her smile. But she still could feel Taeyeon’s hand caressing her cheek. She gulped.

“Don’t ever…” Taeyeon whispered, her hot breath tickling Tiffany’s lips startling the latter, “take that back,” she finished and slowly and gently kissed Tiffany’s soft lips.

Tiffany’s eyes widened. She wasn’t able to react in any way, since the kiss lasted for only like a second or two.

“T-Tae…” she breathed out as she realized what just happened. “W-what…?”

“Don’t… say a word,” Taeyeon said.

Tiffany’s eyes already got used to the dark so she could see Taeyeon’s silhouette clearly, but it was too damn dark to see her expression. “What are you doing?” she asked ignoring Taeyeon’s previous request.

“I… love you,” Taeyeon said and pressed her lips against Tiffany’s once again.

This time, Tiffany closed her eyes, since Taeyeon didn’t pull away so quickly. She felt the leader’s lips moving against hers and after a few seconds, she started to kiss her back. She could feel her response made Taeyeon happy, but also more aggressive.

Taeyeon pushed Tiffany to the wall and hungrily on her lips. Tiffany couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t really mind. She’d rather suffocate then stop kissing Taeyeon. But later, they had to pull away. Their foreheads were touching, their noses were touching, they were heavily breathing on each other faces.

“Can you say it again?” Tiffany whispered, panting.

“What? That I love you? I love you, Tiffany,” Taeyeon said with a smile.

Tiffany leaned her head against the wall, so Taeyeon forehead slid down to her nose. Taeyeon pulled away a bit and looked at Tiffany’s face. Too bad she also couldn’t see much. Tiffany closed her eyes and breathed out. Taeyeon felt she was shivering.

“Is… something wrong?” Taeyeon asked, worried.

Tiffany shook her head.

Taeyeon frowned and Sunny’s table lamp, so finally some dim light filled the room. It was a bit uncomfortable for a few seconds, but their eyes soon adjusted. Or well, Taeyeon’s, since Tiffany still had her eyes closed.

Taeyeon looked up into Tiffany’s face. “Fany-yah…” she touched Tiffany’s cheek.

“T-turn off the light…” Tiffany said, her voice slightly cracking.

Taeyeon complied, not letting ho of Tiffany’s cheek. Suddenly she felt something wet on her hand. Are those… tears?

“Oh, Tiffany…” Taeyeon whispered and quickly hugged Tiffany tight. “Why would you cry?”

“I’m so stupid… Is this even real? I don’t wanna wake up…”

“This isn’t a dream, Fany-yah…” Taeyeon whispered.

Tiffany hugged Taeyeon back. Really tightly. Like she never ever wanted to let go of her. And well, that’s exactly how she felt. She didn’t want to stop holding Taeyeon in her arms. She buried her head between Taeyeon’s shoulder and neck.

“I love you so much, Taeyeon-ah…”

“I know…” Taeyeon pulled away a bit and lifted Tiffany’s had to kiss her again…

 

 

A week later:

“And then you had , right?”

“No! We didn’t!” Tiffany shook her head rapidly. “Doctor Park! What are you thinking!” she added, slightly offended.

“Sorry, I got carried away with your story. It’s like a fan fiction.”

“Doctor Park… you’re kind of weird sometimes, you know…”

“Well, many patients told me before. But it doesn’t matter. I would like to tell you, that I don’t think you need my help anymore,” the doctor smiled.

Tiffany nodded. “Thanks a lot,” she said with a smile and stood up while extending her hand. The doctor smiled as well and shook Tiffany’s hand.

“You’re welcome.”

“Goodbye then.”

“Goodbye.”

Tiffany walked outside and get into a Mercedes in front of the building.

“So? Han river as always?” she asked the driver.

“Of course, my love,” Taeyeon grinned and pecked her girlfriend’s lips.

“That doctor is weird,” Tiffany said as the car started to move. “She asked me if we had .”

Taeyeon chuckled. “We didn’t…. but…”

“But?” Tiffany asked, confused, when Taeyeon didn’t seem to finish it.

“Well… we could change that,” Taeyeon grinned and stopped the car in a small street between houses. Then she leaned towards Tiffany and kissed her passionately.

Tiffany kissed her back, but then she pushed her away. “Oh come on, not here…”

Taeyeon started the car again, but she couldn’t stop smiling. “Can’t wait till we get home then…”

 

 

 

A/N: I feel like this one is kind of rushed... But then again, I'm never really content with my work :/

The next pairing.... I was thinking about YoonHyun? What do you think? I don't know if I can make it ty, but... maybe I can try.