Not like this

The wait has come to its end and the day of Mnet Asia Music Awards was finally there. The groups were performing one by one, until it was finally B2ST’s turn. They had been waiting for a while and they were pretty nervous. First, because other’s performances had been really good and they wanted to make a good performance as well; and second, because Troublemaker unit would make a little performance as a preview of their debut. None of them really knew what it was about since Hyunseung hadn’t told them a single thing, so they were expecting it same as the public was.

When the VCR started, B2ST guys were told to go to their positions since they were entering just after them. Hyuna was at her position —lying in a bed with a beautiful red dress— and then the bed went up to the scenario. Few second later, Hyunseung came in and their performance started. Everyone was surprised, watching with wide eyes, as they performed the y homicide. Junhyung, on the other hand, was dying of jealousy.

Every move, every shake, every step closer to Hyuna, every time his hands got on her or hers got on him; Junhyung wasn’t sure what he hated the most. And just when he thought the performance wasn’t bad after all —he had been imagine himself and Hyunseung dancing instead of him and Hyuna— he saw them kissing.

B2ST guys were as shocked as the public was, but none of them felt hurt as much as Junhyung did. It was silly; he knew it, because he didn’t have the right to feel hurt. He was just Hyunseung’s friend, nothing else. He might love him with all his heart; he might adore him like no one else did; he might be crazy for him as only he could be; but it didn’t matter since Hyunseung didn’t feel the same about him.

B2ST got into scenario and they performed Fiction orchestra version. It was great, their voices were perfect and the participation of pianist Lang made it even more special. B2ST was chosen as the best male performance and after the celebration was over they went back to their hotel. Everyone decided to continue the celebration at the hotel’s restaurant but Junhyung wasn’t really in the mood for celebration. However, he knew the guys would make Hyunseung drink and knowing them it wasn’t going to be a little.

And the world knows drunken Hyunseung is dangerous. The last time he got drunk was when they were promoting Fiction. At that time the guys had decided to play a trick on him by changing his usual coffee and milk of the mornings with Baileys. When they saw how he drank it normally, they thought that, or Hyunseung realized that change and changed the drinks again or he could hold his alcohol really well. They realised it was none of those when Hyunseung threw himself to the floor and started yelling after they won at Music Bank. He was so HIGH!!

That wasn’t the first time Hyunseung got drunk, neither the first time he had alcohol, but that was the first time they saw him in that state. Everyone knew there was a process in Hyunseung when he got drunk and they knew it perfectly: First he goes easy and quiet, which is weird for him. Then it’s the turn of the random questions (Why Ash’s Pikachu never got to evolution? If you were a worm, how long would you be? Can you cry under water? Why water is water?) which is a phase with no end, but somehow changes a bit later. After that he feels he needs to apologise to everyone for anything he has done in the past. After that he would lean on someone’s shoulder and fall asleep.

It was Junhyung’s job to take Hyunseung into bed and no one ever wondered why he never came back after that. No one really knew what he had to deal with, and Junhyung didn’t want them to. But Junhyung was sure that after the scene Hyunseung did at Music Bank, they knew there was other side of drunken Hyunseung they haven’t seen and they wanted to. He was sure they would make poor Hyunseung drink glass after glass until he got really drunk just to make drunken seung come to life.

And he was right. Just when they sat, even before they ordered their food, Doojoon had ordered a bottle of champagne. They had finished two bottles of champagne by the time their dishes arrived and they ordered red wine with it. When they were done and the desserts arrived, they ordered white wine and to finish they had a bottle of vodka. And during all the time, Junhyung saw how they filled Hyunseung’s glass to the top while they had mid filled glasses, so of course Hyunseung was drunk before he started his dessert.

All the phases started: he was really quiet while eating his chocolate cake, but suddenly started asking them weird questions that no one was able to answer. Suddenly he held Dongwoon’s hand —who was at his left while Junhyung was at his right— and apologised for the time he broke his promise, and then held Doojoon’s hand across the table and apologised for all the trouble he always makes. Suddenly he leaned in maknae’s shoulder and the he drifted to sleep. Junhyung was about to say he would take him to his room when Yoseob stopped him.

“Oh! I remember! He fell asleep before we went into scene!” he said, remembering the previous events of the scene at Music Bank “and before that he apologised to me for eating my pudding”

“Oh, yes, that’s right! How could we not realise that?” Added Doojoon

“Which means we just have to wait to see that Seung again” finished Kikwang and the rest of them agreed including manager Hyung, but obviously Junhyung was just pretending since he really didn’t want them to get to know THAT Hyunseung. He was the only one allowed to see him.

By this point, all of them —again, minus Junhyung who only had drank coke— were drunk. Well, not like in their worst state but they weren’t even 50% sober, which meant they were brave enough as to make anything. And knowing them, Junhyung knew that anything was anything.

Suddenly, Hyunseung lifted his head from maknae’s shoulder and, to everyone’s surprise (minus Junhyung of course) he looked sober... really sober. For a moment there they thought that he was actually sober, until he got up and started dancing to troublemaker with everyone watching him. Doojoon tried to drag him back to his sit, but it was impossible. Again, to their surprise, Hyunseung was too strong. Luckily for them, Junhyung knew that state only lasted for a little, then there was another phase that he actually liked, but he wasn’t sure if it would be fine to show it to the guys.

“Hyung~” Hyunseung sang in a sweet voice while clinging onto their manager’s shoulder when he was able to make him stop dancing. Manager had to hold him by the waist so he wouldn’t fall “You know; you’re really handsome... I like your face~~” he said before kissing loudly the man’s cheek.

Manager was so shocked that he loosened his hold on Hyunseung’s, making him fall and land hard on the floor.

“Hyung, are you ok?” asked Kikwang as he helped the drunken Hyung. He helped him get up and was about to nag at their manager from dropping him, when he felt a pair of hands touching his chest and arms.

“Kwangi, you’re really welt built” said Hyunseung while touching him. Kikwang couldn’t help but to yell and push Hyunseung to his sit beside Dongwoon while covering his chest with his arms and turn bright red.

“He was just being honest Kikwang” managed to say Doojoon between laughs. Dongwoon and Yoseob were practically rolling on the floor from too much laughing. “What is it, Seungie?” he asked when he was able to calm down. He noticed Hyunseung, who was in front of him with his chin rested on his palms and his elbows on the table, was staring intensively at him trough half opened eyes.

“Your lips look kissable” Doojoon almost chocked with his drink “I’m sure Lizzy enjoyed kissing you”

None of them said anything and just stared at him.

“Ok, I think it’s time for you to go to bed” Junhyung decided they had seen too much of the Sincere-seung. Actually, he was annoyed that Hyunseung had complimented them when he had always received mean words from the doe eye boy (why your eyes so sharp? Ugly lips... hate your voice... babo Jun~). Besides, knowing Hyunseung like no one else did, Junhyung knew that he would reach his favourite state in no time: Obedient-seung. Yes, that’s the best time to handle the drunken Seung and it was just before he drifted to dreamland.

“Anio~~~” Ok, maybe not yet. Hyunseng complained and frowned at Junhyung who was trying to make him stand up and then threw his arm around Dongwoon and brought the maknaes head close to his, “Woonie~ don’t let babo-Jun take me~” see, nothing kind for him.

Dongwoon decided to play along with his hyung and put his arm around the small waist pulling him close “I won’t let him Hyung, shoo, Babo-Jun”

Junhyung felt something inside him starting to burn like hell when he saw makne’s arm around the troublemaker’s waist as the later rested his chin on the makne’s shoulder and pouted cutely. He wanted so much to put them apart, but he was afraid what the others might think if he did it. What reason he would come out with? How would he explain his actions? Luckily for him, it was Yoseob who separated them.

“Yah! I’m supposed to be the cute one” he said with flushed cheeks and cute pout.

“wae~ can’t I be cute too?” it was really weird for Hyunseung to be saying this when he hated to be called pretty and wanted to be manly, not cute.

“You’re always cute, hyung” said makne while patting Hyunseung’s head. Of course he was always cute in Junhyung’s eyes, but he didn’t like that others thought it too.

“Ani! If you want to be cute you have to do something cute!” said Yoseob with a glimpse in his eyes and a smirk in his lips. Something didn’t seem right.

“Like what?” Hyunseung was still clinging to Dongwoon while listening to Yoseob.

Yoseob started ordering Hyunseung to do cute things such as pout, do the puppy eyes, beg with baby voice, and more. Hyunseung did as he was told and all of them laughed as how obedient he was being. However, they never thought that Hyunseung would follow every order until Doojoon decided to play a joke that ended up with all of them with their mouths wide opened: he ordered Hyunseung to kiss Dongwoon on the lips. And he did it.

It was Junhyung who reacted first pulling the drunken Hyunseung off the shocked makne who was still stunned by what had just happened.

“I did it” said Hyunseung with monotone voice and half open eyelids. He was the only one who wasn’t shocked.

“I think is time for you to go to bed” Junhyung couldn’t let Hyunseung stay with them any longer. He was sure they have realized Hyunseung would do anything they told him to and who knows what they would make him do. Especially Yoseob...

“Deh~” sang Hyunseung as he let himself being pulled to his feet by the rapper.

“Wait!” of course, it was Yoseob. He wanted to play tricks on the guys with the drunken Hyunseung but he wouldn’t be able to do it anymore because of Junhyung, so he must make him pay “Kiss Jun”

Junhyung was about to protest, but before he could even articulate a single word, soft lips were pressed against his own. It wasn’t sweet as most people say, but it did tasted really good. Out of reflex, he put his arm around Hyunseung’s waist to stop him from falling and he had the urge to close his eyes and move his lips in sync with the pretty doe eye boy, but he didn’t. Yes, it was what he had wanted to do for a long time; sure he loved the taste of Hyunseung’s lips and he felt himself craving for more already; but not like this. He wanted to kiss a sober Hyunseung; he wanted both of them to remember it, even if the dancer regretted it later. Junhyung wanted him to remember.

“What I thought, you taste like coke” said Hyunseung when he finally broke the kiss. He had a slight smile in his lips and his eyes were half opened, while Junhyung blinked several times as his cheeks turned red.

The rest of B2ST were practically rolling on the floor from too much laughing at Junhyung’s and Dongwoon’s reddened faces.

“Ha ha, let’s get you to bed” said Junhyung with serious tone and started to pull Hyunseung away from the chaos despite the protests of their band mates.

Once they reached their shared room at the hotel, Junhyung proceed to change Hyunseung into his pyjamas. That was the thing he hated to do the most: changing drunken Hyunseung. Not because he didn’t like doing it, but because he actually enjoyed doing it. Confusing much? Well, what if he couldn’t control himself and did a wrong move? What if he told Hyunseung his feelings? What if he took advantage of him while he was drunk and half ? If Hyunseung found out about it he would surely hate him and Junhyung would have no chance to even apologise, because it would be his fault. His damn fault

“Jun, I’m cold~” Hyunseung sang in his drunken voice, making Junhyung return from his thoughts. Junhyung started at the half Hyunseung lying in the bed and he had to swallow hard the big lump in his throat. “Jun?”

He mumbled an apology and continued changing Hyunseung. When he finished, he pulled the covers over Hyunseung who was already in dreamland. He looked so calm, so beautiful, like a child sleeping in a mother’s embrace. And again, without noticing it himself, Junhyung found himself leaning down, closing the gap between his and Hyunseung’s face.

No, no like this. A voice in his mind was telling him. And he listened to it.

He joined his forehead with Hyunseung’s and breathed his scent to calm down his beating heart, as ironic as it sounded. When he felt calm enough he separated their foreheads and landed a soft kiss on Hyunseung’s forehead before turning off the lights and leaving the room.

Yeah. It was for the best.