I woke up feeling exhausted. Yes I had cried myself to sleep and yes I wasn’t proud of it.

I got up and cleaned myself and then left the room.

I headed downstairs only to want to run up again.

They were… kissing… on the lips…

They were smiling and cuddling on the couch.

The looked so perfect for each other.

And I just wanted to throw up my guts.

My body froze, my heart stopped beating and I felt… nothing.

I felt empty.

I couldn’t feel sad or happy.

I couldn’t feel anything.

“Oh Chaerin you are up” Dara said as they parted away.

She blushed and looked down.

I used all my power to contain myself and not run away.

I smiled warmly as I felt a pinch in my heart.

I nodded.

“So tomorrow is the day?” I asked already knowing the answer

“Yes! And you will be my bride’s maid!” Dara chirped happily.

I grinned although I felt like .

Remember Chaerin, you are doing this for her.

“So we are getting married tomorrow baby?” Jiyong teased.

My smile dropped and my eyes widened in realization.

They are getting married tomorrow.

He will be hers and she will be his.

Just perfect.

I should be happy.

I should smile.

I shouldn’t cry, I kept telling myself.

“Will you join us for dinner?” Dara asked

Us…. Us… us… they are one.

I slightly nodded as I followed them.

We ate silently.

“So your dress is in your wardrobe. Did you see it?” Dara questioned.

“Yes. It’s pretty. Thanks” I said as I continued mushing my food.

The morning passed, the noon passed, the afternoon passed and night finally came.

Night always comforted me. The way the darkness took place amazed me.

I didn’t sleep that night. I was wide awake all the time.

I heard a few moans coming from the other room.

What a perfect lullaby~

And yes I am being sarcastic.

After countless hours of crying my heart out morning arrived.

“You have to do this for Dara, this is what she wants.” I told  myself before I left the room.

“You are up! The hairdresser is here. Quickly!” Dara exclaimed.

“Why are your eyes so puffed?” she asked concerned as she caressed my face

“It’s nothing” I said as I pushed gently her hand away.

She finally wore her magnificent wedding dress showing as less skin as she could. She was extremely pretty today. Well she was actually pretty every day.

Anyone around her would look like an ugly duckling. It didn’t really help that I was indeed an ugly duckling.

My hair and makeup was ready and I quickly wore the dress.

Damn I looked like . But who cares? This day is for Dara, not for me. She is the one supposed to be breathtaking. And she is.

The ceremony finally started. I was standing next to her, trying to stop the tears from falling.

I should be happy if she is happy.

I should smile if she smiled.

And I should have killed Jiyong when I had the chance.

What am I saying? I could never hurt him.

I loved him and he loved her.

I was just the third wheel.

“Jiyong do you take Dara as your wife, in sickness and health?” the priest asked.

Jiyong looked at my way.

What are you looking at? You should look at your wife. I thought as I glared at him.

And he smirked. “I do” he replied as he kept looking at me.

I thought I would faint.

Jiyong was still toying with me. Even now, when he was getting married, he kept playing with my head.

Bastard.

After that Dara threw her bouquet.

Oh the irony, I caught it.

The ceremony took place as we headed at the dining room.

Dara danced with my first love, looking so happy and carefree. She didn’t even spare a single glance on me.

Jiyong enjoyed himself as well as I was sitting on the table, drinking red wine.

I kept drinking and drinking till I felt the room twirling.

“So Chaerin are you having fun?” Jiyong asked smiling.

Oh god, spare me and let me kill him right now.

I nodded looking the other way.

“How are you feeling?” he asked again

“Ecstatic.” I said a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

“Just so you know I didn’t think you would be able to hold on for so long. I thought you would have broken down long ago. Seeing the love of your life getting married with your so called best friend is kind of humiliating.” He spat back amused.

“Don’t you have a wife or something to be with?” I asked annoyed.

“I like being around you. I like seeing you suffer” he replied still grinning.

“Did you ever feel anything for me?” I asked voice trebling

“I am sorry Chaerin, you are just not the one. You never where.” He replied

“You love it when I get humiliated, don’t you?” I said half drunk.

He nodded excited.

“Well, then I better give you an awesome last show!” I said as I got up.

“Can I make a toast?” I yelled as I took my glass of wine with me.

“Where is Dara? Oh here you are. Can your childhood friend make a toast?” I asked as she nodded slightly confused.

“Please everyone gather.” I yelled again, motioning them to get closer, as I took unsure steps. Damn I was already drunk.

“I just wanted to say how happy I am these 2 people got married. I mean I am sure everyone here knows I was in love with Jiyong for 11 years, am I right Dara?” I asked as I looked her way.

She looked panicked. I am sorry Dara but I have to get this out of my chest.

“Well it was this day that I had admitted to Dara I was in love Jiyong. She seemed sad but I had brushed it off. The next day was her birthday and I wanted to surprise her. I went to her house, took the key I knew they were hiding and entered. But when I opened the door I saw her having with Jiyong!” I said as I laughed.

Dara seemed heartbroken.

“The funny thing was the look on her eyes! And the feeling you get when you feel that someone rips your heart out of your chest! So damn funny!” I said as I erupted in laughers. I hadn’t realized I was crying.

2 guys tried to stop me but Dara told them to let me be. So, she wanted to hear?

“After that, I had to pretend that I didn’t like him! Just so Dara could be happy! Everything for her, right? I mean everything I did was revolving Dara. There was no need to forgive her, because she didn’t do anything bad right? She just fell in love with someone I was in love with as well. You can’t choose who your heart wants. The difference was that Jiyong liked Dara so I was practically the third wheel! Awesome!” I yelled.

“Anyways I just want you to be happy with him. You still have 4 more months, right? 4 more moths and you’ll be forever…..

His. You’ll give birth to a baby! Congratulations!” I said as I threw one hand on the air.

“I couldn’t be more happier that this bastard here-” I said as I pointed to Jiyong who was just looking at me “took away the only good thing in my life, my Dara. No, sorry, YOUR Dara.” I said as I hiccupped.

“I want this day to be memorable, not only did Jiyong steal Dara away from me, but Dara pretends that nothing bad happened between us!”

Dara was now crying.

I couldn’t help it. I took some steps as I washed her tears away.

“Don’t cry. You should be happy. You are married and pregnant. You’ll have pretty babies, like you and Jiyong, and you’ll live in a big house. You’ll have everything you wanted. You’ll just won’t have me, but sacrifices must be made right? I wasn’t that important in the first place. You won’t even realize I am not there.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked utterly confused.

“You’ll see.” I whispered as I took some steps back.

She seemed horrified.

“So Jiyong, you ing bastard finally ruined my life, I hope you are happy now!” I chirped.

He wasn’t smiling anymore.

Although I hated him I didn’t want him to be sad.

“Hey you, pretty face. Smile, it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life.” I spat out, tears streaming uncontrollably out of my face as I looked at Jiyong. He tried to smile. He really did.

“So today, you are finally free from constantly worrying about me still loving Jiyong.” I said to Dara

“Cheers, to the happiest couple alive. May al their dreams come true!” I said while smiling and crying at the same time as I raised my glass.

Everyone slowly raised their glass, even Dara and Jiyong.

I smiled bitterly.

“CHEERS.”

And crash.

Everyone looked at Chaerin.

She had just thrown her glass on her arm. She took a sharp piece of glass and drown it on her skin.

“No!” Dara screamed as she run to her old friend.

“Too late.” Chaerin mouthed as she took fast steps behind.

She carved the initials D and J.

Dara and Jiyong had run to her side holding her almost lifeless body.

“Why?” Dara cried out.

“Because… Someone had to go. I was just the annoying third wheel that wouldn’t let you live happily.  Don’t worry you’ll forget about me. You have him and he has you. You’ll make pretty babies and love each other. And I am sorry I couldn’t just stand there watching. I had to let you be on your own. I was just not the one.” Chaerin breathed in difficulty.

“Dara, saranghae.

Jiyong, saranghae.

I wish you a happily ever after…” Chaerin said with her last breath, a smile on her lips.

The held on her lifeless body both crying their eyes out.

She left this world, two initials craved on her body. 2 names she would never forget. 2 people they had turned her stable world upside down. But she didn’t regret anything. She felt calm and happy.

At the end not being the one, didn’t feel that bad. She was happy for them they found each other.

Days later they found out Chaerin was never in France. They cried.

They found out that Chaerin was fighting with a heart disease and she would probably have died sooner or later.

They cried.

4 months later Dara gave birth to a pretty baby. They named it Chaerin.

They didn’t know where Chaerin was, but they knew that girl was always as strong as a rock.

And both of them knew they had loved that girl.

Even Jiyong…

 “I was just not the one.”

“Dara, saranghae.

Jiyong, saranghae.

I wish you a happily ever after…”

Done with this fic~

it was nice as long as it lasted~

most parts inspired by personal experience~

farewell lovely readers,

love,

       valentina