Okay, but Youngjae had every right to be this way. At least that was what he thought. Childish, yes, but can anyone blame him, though? He's just a sixteen-year-old who’s upset over his best friend’s sudden decision. Youngjae barely reached an emotionally mature age, well, teenagers were never emotionally stable at any age of their stage, but that’s besides the point.

 

Turning to his back on his bed, Youngjae sighed, “Stupid Jaebum.” He sighed again and rolled onto his side, hugging his pillow close to his chest and buried his pouty lips in it. His mood kept dropping and dropping by the second. It was like being stuck on a never-ending cycle of pettiness and something else deeper that hurts the boy so much.

 

A knock came to the young master’s door, followed by a soft voice, “Young Master, I think you should start going to school now… It’s been a week. When your mother gets home, the school will call her. And she will find out.”

 

“No. I’m not feeling it. Leave me be, Nami-ahjumma.” Youngjae groaned, turning onto his stomach and planted his face into the sheets.

 

“Young Master-”

 

“Please, I want to be alone.”

 

Youngjae could hear the long sigh through the thick door before there wasn’t any more of Nami’s presence clinging against it. The boy to his back again and ran both of his hands frustratingly through his messy bedhead. It had been a week. A week of Youngjae locking himself inside his room. A week of Youngjae just sulking and sulking. A week of Youngjae avoided going to school, because he knew his best friend would be the first person to greet him at his gates. A week of Youngjae just stopping all activities altogether, because he was so upset and surprised and overwhelmed by whatever his best friend had told him. A week of Youngjae acting like a five-year-old who gotten his toys taken away. Basically, a week of Youngjae being utterly petty.

 

Though, he knew he shouldn’t be. Because that was what Jaebum had decided. Youngjae shouldn’t be the one holding his best friend back from achieving greater things. Jaebum might not get as many good grades as Youngjae, but Jaebum was a hard-worker and passionate in everything he did. So this small town won’t be able to shelter the older’s big dreams. Youngjae understood that. And he should be happy for Jaebum when the male told him he won’t be staying around for community college but moving to Seoul for a better pursuit of his future. Yeah, Youngjae should be happy that Jaebum could even think like that. But he wasn’t.

 

Instead, Youngjae felt betrayed somewhat. Or maybe because he’s so used to Jaebum being around that now he’s so heartbroken to watch Jaebum leave.

 

He knew he shouldn’t be selfish, but he couldn’t help it. He had it all planned out in his head. Youngjae thought Jaebum would stay here for college, at least for the first two years or so, or however long Youngjae had left of high school. Then when Youngjae graduates, they’d go to the big city together. Then they’d get their own apartment. Then they’d live together as roommates. Then they’d…

 

Youngjae sighed. He was so dependent on Jaebum. And it was getting far way too ridiculous. But then again, he had no one else but Jaebum, so it was only natural to be so attached to one person, right? Totally right. Totally normal.

 

The boy sighed again, pulling himself up from his bed. He really can’t be here acting like this. There had to be a more mature, civilized, approach to this. Youngjae groaned, dropping down onto his bed with the pillow smashed on top of his face. No matter how hard he tried to wreck his brain, there was no way. Because they all would lead to Youngjae getting out of bed and going to school. Which was the number one thing he was trying to avoid.

 

A small thud made Youngjae sat up again. He turned his head towards the window. “What was that?” Youngjae continued staring at the glass, expecting for whatever that was to happen again. For a couple of minutes, he gave up and sunk himself on the bed with a heavy sigh. But as soon as his back hits the mattress, the sound came again. Youngjae groaned and sat up. “What the heck?!”

 

Suddenly, a whole bunch of small rocks projected wildly at the window. Youngjae flinched, his blanket out of fear. Curious, the boy stepped out of his bed and headed towards the window. He leaned in, and a stone flew right at his face. Thank God for the glass that stood between Youngjae and the hostility outside. Waiting out for a couple of seconds, Youngjae felt his heart pounding. Because there was only one person who would be doing this. And long behold, it was the person Youngjae had been desperately trying to avoid this past week. He turned from the window and hurried back to his bed. He’ll ignore it. Surely, Jaebum would get tired or run out of rocks.

 

Jaebum did ran out of rocks, because Youngjae couldn’t hear anymore of those annoying thuds. The younger boy prayed that his window wouldn't be cracked from all that throwing. The silence dragged on for a while. Youngjae was weirdly anxious. Part of him wished his best friend left, while the other part screamed for any type of attention.

 

The screen of Youngjae’s phone lit up and the ringtone played loudly. The boy immediately grabbed his phone from the nightstand and stared at the screen. The “Jaebummie” etched angrily on the device, begging Youngjae to take the call. But Youngjae wasn’t going to be that forgiving. Even though it wasn't Jaebum’s fault, but more like Youngjae’s ridiculous tantrum, the younger refused to soften just because his best friend poured a bit more effort than usual. And so, Youngjae turned his phone off, determined to not give Jaebum any hope.

 

With the peace and quiet, Youngjae decided to go to sleep. Maybe when he wakes up again, Jaebum would already given up. That’s right. Let’s hope that.

 

Sleep didn’t come too easily. It was like everything was against Youngjae. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to will himself to sleep. Some minutes or so, when Youngjae finally asserted the dominance against sleep, a loud bang at his window reeled him right back to reality. His eyes snapped open. The banging continued until Youngjae hopped out of bed and ran to the window. He almost fell backwards when Jaebum’s face popped up from below.

 

“What are you doing?!” Youngjae gasped, contemplating whether or not he should open the window.

 

“Open it!” Jaebum kept banging.

 

“No!”

 

“Goddamnit, Youngjae! Open this ing window!”

 

“NO! Leave! I don’t want to see you!”

 

“Stop being childish! Please, Youngjae. I want to see you! I need to see you!”

 

Youngjae shook his head and pouted, “You have school! Go!”

 

“Youngjae, open it!”

 

“Jae-” Youngjae’s eyes widened as he saw his best friend’s head disappeared from view. Without thinking twice, Youngjae unlatched the window and pushed it open. “Oh, my God! Jaebum!” The younger boy poked his head out. But as soon as he decided to look down, something pounced on him. Everything happened too fast for Youngjae to process what was going on.

 

In seconds, Youngjae’s back was against the carpet of his bedroom and wrists pinned to the floor on either side of his head. Youngjae looked up, and his eyes met with Jaebum’s angry ones. “Jaebum-”

 

“What the are you doing?” Jaebum's voice strained in an attempt to not outright scream, matching the broken look in his eyes as heat rose from his body in waves.

 

“I-”

 

“You ing idiot! Why would you avoid me like that?” The older’s hold on the younger’s wrists tightened, “Why the would you do that? Did you know? Did you know how much I wanted to see you? Why would you even think to do this to me?”

 

Youngjae turned his head, scared to look into his best friend’s eyes. Something burning in Jaebum’s eyes that were too feral and intense for Youngjae to handle. “I’m sorry…”

 

“Look at me, Jae.”

 

“I’m rea-really sorry…”

 

“Youngjae!”

 

“I’m sorry, okay?!” Youngjae yelled, neck craning and face smeared red from his own anger. He stared at Jaebum head on, leaving behind the fear he had just seconds ago. “I’m sorry for everything! It’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have avoid you! I shouldn’t have ignore you! I shouldn’t have! But I was annoyed! I felt betrayed! What was I supposed to do…”

 

The younger didn’t know he was crying, until his best friend was cupping his face and wiping the tears away. Jaebum no longer had anger in his eyes. Just a lot of softness now that he was Youngjae’s cheeks with his thumbs. Youngjae sniffled, staring up at his best friend with a pout on his lips.

 

God, how much does Jaebum wanted to kiss it away.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum lowered himself and hugged Youngjae, letting his forehead kissed the carpet instead. It was an awkward position with him still straddling on top of Youngjae, but Jaebum didn’t care. He was just so glad to see his best friend again. To be within his comfort zone. To have Youngjae in his arms again. To come to his own home. “I’m sorry, but don’t do this to me, Jae-ah. You know I need you. And you know you can’t run from me. If you have a problem, then tell me. We’ll work it out. There’s no reason for you to do this. It hurts me, you know? It hurts me a lot more than you think.”

 

Youngjae wrapped his arms around Jaebum’s neck, burying his face in the older’s shoulder. “I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t think you would go. I didn’t realize that you’ve grown now, and that you wouldn’t want to stay with me-”

 

“Stop that!” Jaebum pulled himself up to properly look at Youngjae in the eyes. “I told you to hold on to me. Don’t ever think I wouldn’t want to stay with you.” Because I always want to be with you. “Don’t think like that anymore.” I want to be with you for the rest of my life. “You’re being selfish.” And I’m being selfish, too, but you’re mine, so I’ve got all the rights.

 

“Jaebummie…”

 

“You know what, we still got one semester and summer together,” Jaebum cracked a small smile, “So let’s just forget about all of this. We’ll deal with it when it comes. Right now, can’t I just have you back like before?”

 

Youngjae nodded, “Sorry… I’ll start going to school again now…”

 

“Good. Your mom’s still going to kill you, though. You’ve missed the whole entire week that she’s gone.”

 

“I know,” the younger sighed, “Um…”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“You could, um, get off of me now…” The embarrassment colored Youngjae’s voice and face quite cutely. “It, uh, getting hot… Nami-ahjumma went overboard with the-the, uh, the heat-heater a-again.”

 

Jaebum smirked, decided to take advantage of the situation. He deserved something after what this idiot he called a best friend had put him through. Leaning down, pressing their foreheads together, Jaebum whispered, “Why are you suddenly stuttering? Is it that hot?”

 

Youngjae gasped, “Jaebum, stop joking! What are you doing?”

 

“What? It’s pretty cold outside. And I was out there for a long time. I’m cold. Body heat, Jae.”

 

And Jaebum thought this would give him an upper hand, however, being this close to Youngjae was also driving him mad. Right. Jaebum was an idiot. But Youngjae was a bigger idiot for actually believing Jaebum’s words. The younger just laid still, perfectly submitting under his older best friend, because he really thought Jaebum was cold.

 

“Wow,” Youngjae breathed softly, “You’re really handsome up-close.”

 

That was it. That did it. Triggered everything. Jaebum’s entire face burned a proud crimson. Sure, it was an innocent observation, but to Jaebum, while they’re literally forehead-against-forehead, nothing sounded innocent in his ears. The older quickly removed himself, getting off of the younger. “. Youngjae, why are you so obedient.”

 

Youngjae pulled himself off the floor when Jaebum got off. The younger blinked innocently, tilting his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

Jaebum hated that Youngjae was actually innocent. “No, nothing,” he sighed, shaking his head and fixing his uniform.

 

“Are you leaving?”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know. You got school.”

 

“Jae, I’m already an hour late. it.”

 

Grimacing at his best friend’s nonchalant attitude, Youngjae crawled over to him, “You should still go.”

 

“No, I want to stay here,” Jaebum said, looking away from Youngjae, who was on all fours. Yeah, the image proved to be too much for Jaebum’s poor heart.

 

“Jaebum, you’re already struggling academically. At least make attendance worthy. I want to see you graduate.”

 

“Don’t worry about that, I definitely will,” swinging an arm over Youngjae’s shoulder, Jaebum laughed, “If I don’t, I’ll be stuck here with you.”

 

“That’s a bad thing?”

 

“No, baby, it’s a good thing,” that slip was unexpected. But Jaebum played it like he didn’t knew he said it. “I told you I want to stay with you.”

 

Youngjae, noticing how his best friend just shrugged it off like no big deal, tried to act cool about it, too. “Um, yeah… B-but you should graduate.” Except Youngjae had a habit of overthinking. And whatever Jaebum just referred him to made his ears pink and cheeks red. Why was he reacting this way? He didn’t know. They’re best friends, right? So, wasn’t this normal? Youngjae heard a lot of girls going around calling each other as such. But here's the thing. They're girls. Youngjae and Jaebum are boys. Do boys call their best friends ‘baby’ as well? Youngjae wasn’t sure, since he doesn’t have any other friends besides Jaebum. Maybe Jaebum calls his friends that?

 

“All right,” Jaebum sighed, “I’ll go.” The older got up.

 

“Whe-where?”

 

“School. You just told me you wanted me to go.”

 

“I mean… You don’t have to do what I want. Do what you want.”

 

“Uh, what?”

 

“I…” Youngjae didn’t know where he was going with that. Standing up, the younger cleared his throat. “Nevermind. Just go.”

 

“Well, I want to stay. Can I do that?” Jaebum tried, hoping for some kind of miracle.

 

Youngjae frowned, shaking his head, “You’re a disappointment.”

 

“I know,” Jaebum rolled his eyes, “Fine. I’ll text you.”

 

“Not during class, Jaebum-ah,” the younger grabbed his best friend’s wrist, “Go through the front door like a normal person, please.”

 

Jaebum grinned, “Then it won’t feel so secretive anymore~”

 

“I’m saving you an arm and a leg. Be grateful.”

 

“Yes, sir~ You’re so kind to me~ Love you lots~”

 

Youngjae scoffed, rolling his eyes, cheeks turning scarlet, “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

 

<||><||><||><||><||>

 

It had been a weekend, and Jaebum still couldn’t believe he ed up. As much as he wanted to, he did not expected himself to blurt out a smooth endearment like that. He didn’t know why he said it or thought it’d be safe to say. But he regretted calling Youngjae that. It had been bothering him all weekend long. And when Jaebum left Youngjae’s house that day, he didn’t head to school. Instead, he went home. How could he concentrate in school when he just called his best friend an endearment that used between lovers. No. ing. Way.

 

Jaebum hoped he played it off well. But with someone as naive as Youngjae, everything was good. Youngjae totally didn’t caught on too much. Jaebum could tell. Although the younger’s face showed that he’s embarrassed, but that was okay, because it was pretty unexpected. Anyone would get red. So Jaebum shouldn’t be overthinking too much, right? Right. Though, that was exactly what Jaebum was doing. He was overthinking. And he blamed Youngjae for this horrible habit.

 

Okay, but everything was normal. They texted constantly throughout the weekend. Well, except those couple hours on Sunday when Madame Choi returned from her business trip. It was inevitable. Jaebum knew Youngjae got into a lot of trouble. Like, a whole ing lot of trouble. Jaebum just hoped the punishment wasn’t too extreme. She could scream all she wanted, but she’d regret laying a hand on his Youngjae. Didn’t matter if she was an adult or not. Didn’t matter how actually scared of her Jaebum was. Didn’t matter. ‘Cause if Youngjae shows up right now with anything that even equates to a bruise, Jaebum’s going to lose his . And when he loses his , everything else that’s not Youngjae can off.

 

Let’s just hope it does not turn to that.

 

Taking out his phone, Jaebum scrolled through their last couple messages to each other. A smile sat on his face as he re-read their stupid conversations. God, he was so in love. The best ing feeling ever. But also the worse. Jaebum tried not to think about the bad aspects of it. He’d rather look at the brighter side of things. Well, he was dating Youngjae in his head anyways so… Self-claiming as Youngjae’s boyfriend… Jaebum sometimes thought it was pretty childish, but whatever, he’s happy. And it's not like Youngjae knows. So Jaebum’s safe to think whatever he wanted to think. Oh, there was a lot of things Jaebum thought about that had to do with Youngjae.

 

A good majority of those things weren’t so innocent.

 

But yeah, can’t blame Jaebum, though.

 

He was like any teenager at his age.

 

Praise him for actually having decent controls over his hormones.

 

It was a hard task, considering Youngjae’s being cute and unknowingly clingy twenty-four seven.

 

Jaebum thought he was doing a fine- job.

 

“H-hey!”

 

Pocketting his phone, Jaebum looked up with a wide smile, “Youngjae, hey.” He watched as Youngjae approached. Immediately, Jaebum noticed the heavy steps lacing Youngjae’s feet, the nervousness written all over Youngjae’s face, the tight grip Youngjae had on the straps of his backpack, the way Youngjae’s eyes seemed to be darting everywhere like he was scared something was going to pop out from the bush. Jaebum’s face fell, head spinning and coming up with all the possible solutions to why Youngjae was acting like he’d seen a ghost. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did she… Did she hit you?”

 

“H-huh?” Youngjae flinched a little. “Wha-what-”

 

That was enough for Jaebum’s blood to boil. “Come here. Let me see.”

 

“What? N-no! It’s… It’s not like tha-that…” Youngjae casted his eyes at the ground.

 

Jaebum furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance and impatience, “Then what’s going on? Why are you like this? Did I do something again? What did I said about telling me , so we could work it out?” By this point, Jaebum was internally panicking. He didn’t know if he’d like the idea of Youngjae avoiding him for the second time.

 

“No! Jaebum, listen, it’s not that!” Youngjae seemed frustrated. The younger bit his lip, lifting his head to look at his best friend. “It’s not that, okay? Don’t just jump into conclusions like that…”

 

“Sorry… I just don’t want it to happen again,” Jaebum sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “But what’s going on, Jae-ah?”

 

“I…” Youngjae exhaled, his breath fogged up in front of him, “I want to try-try something.”

 

“Try what?”

 

“I want to confirm something.”

 

“Confirm…” Jaebum gestured with his hand for Youngjae to continue.

 

 

Scratching his head, Youngjae looked up at Jaebum again. This time, however, the younger’s eyes were sparkling with something new. Youngjae’s cheeks burned up again as his hands held onto the straps of his backpack. He shyly stole a glance at Jaebum. Very secretive. Very shy. Like he was hiding something really important. Something big.

 

Jaebum thought it was because of the cold weather.

 

“Promise me you won’t freak out and let me try?”

 

“Okay, sure, but what exactly are you trying? And what do I have to do with it?”

 

“Just… Trust me. I won’t hurt you.”

 

“All right…”

 

Youngjae nodded as he exhaled again. He seemed very nervous for some reason. “Okay… I’m… I-I’m go-going to t-t-try it n-now…”

 

Jaebum didn’t know what was going on, but he trusted Youngjae. So he stood there. Not sure what was he supposed to do. Youngjae didn’t move for a good minute. Jaebum could hear the silence between them. And it wasn’t the usual comfortable silence. This was different. The voices in his head were screaming at him. Jaebum felt chills. And it wasn’t from the cold of winter. Now, he’s nervous. What was going on? What does Youngjae wanted to try? Why wasn’t Youngjae doing anything? Or could it be…

 

Did Youngjae found out?

 

About Jaebum’s feelings for him?

 

Did he?

 

Swallowing down his sudden panic, Jaebum waited. He stopped counting how many seconds he waited for. But the anxiety continued gnawing at his heart. He ignored it. And ignored it. Ignored it…

 

Until he couldn’t just stand there and ignore it anymore.

 

“Youngjae, what-”

 

Everything happened way too fast.

 

Jaebum was going to ask. He was going ask. But before he could…

 

Youngjae’s lips were already on his own.

 

Then, time froze.

 

But the wind was still blowing.

 

Jaebum’s eyes were opened, alert and in complete surprise. The loud drumming of his heart roared in his ears. He looked down and was greeted by the long lashes of his best friend’s closed eyes. Jaebum could feel it. This wasn’t a dream. It felt too real. He could feel the plush of Youngjae’s chapped lips pressing shyly against his. It was so soft. Youngjae’s lips. The bashfulness in the kiss. The atmosphere. All of it. Like a sweet lullaby. Jaebum closed his eyes, decided to stop freaking out and enjoy the moment.

 

But as soon as Jaebum laid a hand on Youngjae’s cheek with the intent of properly delivering their first kiss, the younger pulled away. Time started orchestrating again. Jaebum opened his eyes slowly, afraid of what he was about to witness.

 

In front of him, Youngjae was shaking nervously with a flustered face. Jaebum didn’t say anything. He waited. And he'd take whatever outcome. Obviously, they can’t be best friends anymore. But by not saying anything, it saved Jaebum the trouble of possibly getting rejected. It also wouldn't be his fault.

 

Because Youngjae kissed him first.

 

Which was a shock, because who would have thought Youngjae would make the first move.

 

“I… I…” Youngjae’s voice was shaky. The younger stared at the ground, refusing to look up at Jaebum. “I… I-I-I… Jae-Jaebum…” He paused, gathering all the courage he managed to muster. He lifted his head and looked at his best friend. He probably looked like a mess with his red face, quivering lips, shaking hands, embarrassed eyes. But Youngjae was actually determined for once in his life. “Jaebumgooutwithme!”

 

Great. So much for confidence.

 

“Wha-what?” Jaebum thought he heard it wrong, because Youngjae literally said it so fast. “What did you say?”

 

“I said-” Youngjae pursed his lips and a tear rolled down his face. “I-I-I-” He was shaking all over now. His legs turned jelly. He wanted to just melt into this concrete from the pressure. Embarrassed to death, Youngjae did the next thing he could think of. “I- Oh, my G-God! ARGH!” He groaned in frustration and took off running towards the direction he came from.

 

“WAIT! YOUNGJAE! WHAT THE ?!” Jaebum shouted, face confused and as red as Youngjae’s.

 

“SHUT UP JAEBUM!” Youngjae yelled back as he continued running to God knows where.

 

“COME BACK HERE! YOU WERE ASKING ME OUT WEREN’T YOU?!”

 

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

 

Jaebum screamed out in frustration and took off running after his idiotic best friend. “You can’t outrun me, Jae-ah.” With a winning smirk, Jaebum swore he’d catch that problematic young master no matter what.