It’d be a terrible understatement to say that Youngjae was not at all happy with his guest. The young master wondered if the idol ran out of schedule or something. Jaebum seemed to always be around the mansion these past couple of days. Always snooping around places near Youngjae. Won’t leave Youngjae alone. Even when the lawyer locked himself in the library to do his work, the idol just sat outside the doors with a book in his hands. They ate every single meal together. The maids started to find it cute that Jaebum was following their young master around like a lost puppy. Youngjae didn’t think it was cute. At all.

 

“Don’t you have things to do?” Young Master Choi finally broke his silence. He tore his focus from his laptop to the gentleman lying comfortably across from him. Somehow, Jaebum managed to slip in between the crack of the doors.

 

Raising the book up above his head, Jaebum dared to stare innocently at the young master. “I’m reading.”

 

“I meant, like, your ‘idol’ stuff. Doesn’t Youngmi-noona call you?”

 

“Huh. ‘Youngmi-noona.’ Have you two always been this close?”

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

Jaebum shrugged, pretending the sudden closeness between his manager and the love of his life didn’t bother him one bit. His eyes traveled back to the book. “No. Just found it weird.”

 

Youngjae rolled his eyes and decided to steer his attention back to his work. But he couldn’t focus. Something about the presence of a certain someone scratched at the nape of his neck. He stole a glance and frowned. Im Jaebum was still a mystery to him. Sighing, Youngjae shook away the thought. He should be working, not thinking about what kind of trick was up Jaebum’s sleeve this time.

 

The clock ticked slowly, as if time wasn’t in a rush whenever they were together. Youngjae was hoping Jaebum would be tired and head to bed. That wasn’t the case. Another hour and it’d be midnight. Yet, Jaebum looked like he had more than enough energy to last through the entire night. Youngjae wanted to bash his head into a wall.

 

“Aren’t you tired?”

 

Looking up from his book, Jaebum smirked, “Worried about me?”

 

“No, I’m just asking. Shouldn’t you be old enough to read between the lines?”

 

“What lines exactly?”

 

The young master refrained himself from lunging at his guest and strangled the man. “That I don’t want you here.”

 

“And?”

 

“This isn’t funny.”

 

“Who said it was?”

 

“Jaebum-ssi.”

 

“Just ‘Jaebum’ is fine. Or…” A short pause like some serious thoughts needed to be made. “Or ‘hyung,’ Jaebum-hyung…”

 

In a second, Youngjae’s blood boiled. He balled his fists against the surface of his desk. Just a simple title triggered a deep part of him. His brain failed to figure out the reason, but his heart was quicker to react. “It’s not cute. If you think whatever you’ve been doing is cute, it’s not. It’s annoying. I hope you’ll stop soon. I already told you my opinion. And I really wish you could respect it, Jaebum-ssi.”

 

“Is it too late to take back all the dumb I’ve said and done to you that hurt your feelings?”

 

“You’re shameless.”

 

“Answer me.”

 

“I,” Youngjae started, pushing himself to say words that would bring nothing but pain to himself, “Never had any feelings for you. So, you didn’t hurt me.”

 

Jaebum closed his book and set it aside. He sat up, eyes kept still on Youngjae. “That’s a lie and you know it.”

 

“Have you heard me say it?” Youngjae clasped his hands together in a rather arrogant posture. Like a challenge.

 

“What?”

 

“Have you heard me actually say those words that a hundred percent would confirm whether or not I have feelings for you?” Going into lawyer mode, Youngjae refused to back down and show any sign of weakness.

 

The idol scoffed, feet boldly moving towards the desk where his target had safely resigned. “No, but I’ve read between the lines.”

 

It was Youngjae’s turn to scoff. “Judging from earlier, Jaebum-ssi, you’re not very good at reading between the lines. Are you sure you’re not mistaking some things and jumping into conclusion yourself?”

 

“Are you serious right now?”

 

“How can you be so sure that you’re right? If you haven’t heard those words, then how could you be so sure?”

 

“Then could you tell me how fast your heart is beating right…” Hands spreaded on the desk, Jaebum leaned down very closely to Youngjae’s face, “About…” Youngjae’s entire view was covered by Jaebum’s body. “Now?”

 

The library stood still on its existence. Silence engulfed the room in a hurry. The ticking of the clock resonated throughout the space like a fire alarm. Youngjae didn’t hear anything at first. But then… Loudly… In his own ears… The beating of his heart multiplied by tenfolds. For sure, Jaebum heard it as well.

 

A soft smile followed by a victorious grin, Jaebum whispered, “Not so cocky now, huh, Mister Lawyer?”

 

Keeping composure, Youngjae broke their gaze and offered back a half-smile to mock the idol. “You still didn’t hear me say it. You can’t prove anything with no evidence. Which means, you can’t assume things and act out on them. So-”

 

“Are you really going to ignore the biggest piece of evidence that is right there?” Jaebum pointed at Youngjae’s chest. “Words are superficial. Anyone can say anything and not mean it. But that right there. Your heart. It never lies.”

 

“We are done here.” Getting up, Youngjae prayed for some type of blessing for him to dash out of this room in the span of three seconds without any obstacles.

 

Jaebum had other plans. Before Youngjae could make a run for it, Jaebum planned one step ahead and reached out to trap the younger against the wall. “That’s very rude of you. I wasn’t done talking.”

 

“This is considered harassment and possibly assault. I can sue you.”

 

“Then sue me. I’ll just phone my lawyer. Oh, wait, aren’t you my lawyer?”

 

“I’m not playing this game.”

 

“This isn’t a game.”

 

“Let me leave. This is my house.”

 

“No one’s forcing you to stay. You can leave.”

 

Jaebum’s right. It wasn't that Youngjae couldn't leave. He could very much push Jaebum out of the way and continue his merry way to the doors. But the moment Jaebum had him up against the wall, Youngjae’s entire body froze on its own. His brain stopped listening to him, which meant all the nerves in his body also stopped taking orders from him. Youngjae felt embarrassed, but he kept calm in order to not expose himself.

 

The idol moved a little closer inch by inch. “You’re still here?”

 

“Whatever you’re planning on doing, I wouldn’t do it.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Jaebum smiled from ear to ear, “I would never do anything you don’t like.”

 

Avoiding Jaebum’s eyes like a plague, Youngjae’s face remained sideways as he finally figured out a way to mask his sudden nervousness by breathing normally. They were so close to each other that Youngjae could feel Jaebum’s breath fanning softly on his cheek. This was painful. Each second passed by as the young master begged for his body to move. He couldn’t control his breathing for too long if they stay close like this for another minute. Youngjae could already feel his heart wanting to jump out. It truly would be a miracle if his face and ears weren’t red by now from all the blood rush.

 

Clearly, the other person was enjoying this.

 

One second felt like two. And two seconds felt like three.

 

Youngjae rather chose death over this torment.

 

“You’re so quiet now,” Jaebum stated the most obvious , “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” Youngjae answered quickly and simply.

 

“I think something’s wrong.”

 

“Well, you thought wrong.”

 

“No-”

 

The doors cracked open and entered the head maid with a plate of freshly cut fruits in her hands. “Young Master, here- OH. I. UM. I-” The panic on Nami’s face made everything worse.

 

Using this interruption to his advantage, Youngjae pushed Jaebum away. “No, no, no, it’s not like that.”

 

“My apologies, Young Master. I didn’t know Jaebum-nim was here also. I am so sorry! I’ll just leave and come back later. Please, pretend I never walked in and continue-”

 

“Continue what?!” Young Master Choi rushed over to the head maid. “We weren’t doing anything!”

 

“Young Ma-”

 

“I’m leaving! Bye!” And just like that, Choi Youngjae disappeared without wasting another millisecond.

 

Nami turned to look at Jaebum, who casually leaned a little against the desk with his arms crossed at his chest. The head maid didn’t have the chance to fully take in the situation she just witnessed, but she wanted to have a few words with the perpetrator.

 

Jaebum pressed his lips together in a strained smile. “I’m sorry.”

 

“And why are you apologizing, dear?” Nami placed the plate on the coffee table.

 

“I was caught up in the moment. I pushed him a bit too far.”

 

Walking over and reaching out to hold Jaebum’s hands, Nami smiled, “Make sure you apologize to him, too.”

 

“I will.”

 

“He’s confused and was hurt by you before. You may know him, but you knew him before the accident. After the accident, he’s a completely new person. You can’t use the old mindset to touch his heart, Jaebum-ah.”

 

“I… It’s there. I know it’s there.”

 

“So do I. But like I said, our Young Master now is different. You made the mistake of pushing him away because you blame yourself for his misfortune. Now, he’s more cautious around you. He might still be confused, but he’s not an idiot to keep getting run over by someone who keeps avoiding the elephant in the room, like you.”

 

Jaebum wanted to laugh and then cry until his entire being gave out. “I just want him back.”

 

“Then fix what you’ve broken, Jaebum-ah.”

 

<||><||><||><||><||>

 

The next morning, Young Master Choi vanished from the mansion. Apparently, last night, the young master didn’t go back to his room but went out the whole night. None of the maids could reach him. Jaebum worried for at least two hours before settling on the fact that Choi Youngjae was a responsible adult. This town, although small, was a quiet and safe place for the most part. At the very least, Youngjae wouldn’t round up dead somewhere.

 

After brunch, Jaebum headed out. He was hoping to find Youngjae by coincidence. Mostly, Jaebum just wanted to take a good look around the town he left ten years ago. Nothing really changed much. The buildings, the trees, the stores were all still there. Only the people changed.

 

Ten years ago, in pursuit of the celebrity dream, Jaebum disowned his own father. He stood eye-to-eye with the man who had been abusing him for years and declared that they would never see each other again in this lifetime. His father was shocked, of course, as he watched his son pack his bags with such a grim expression. At that time, Jaebum felt powerful. So powerful. Reality didn’t hit him until he stepped out of that house while the shouts and curses of his drunken father followed him through the end of the street. Only then, when the yelling died down, did Jaebum realize he was on his own.

 

He was going to start living a life without Choi Youngjae.

 

But he chose that life.

 

Sighing, Jaebum shook the past from his mind for a bit. When he lifted his face, he was standing outside of his old home. The sudden rush of adrenaline made him dizzy. After all these years, his feet still remembered this rathole. A noise from inside the house startled Jaebum. In a second, Jaebum backed up and hid behind a nearby wall. The front door opened. Jaebum held his breath. The hair on the back of his neck stood. Cold winds turned hot. His vision clouded with flames. He should have expected nothing less or more from the man who controlled his entire childhood.

 

The moment Jaebum laid eyes on his father, he felt the urge to punch the old man in the face. His father didn’t look drunk, didn’t look worn, didn’t look miserable like he had hoped. It was quite the opposite. His father was dressed neatly with styled hair and a bright face. Seeing his father looking so sober and probably doing so well triggered Jaebum so much that he’ll go mad. That man deserved a terrible life and only a terrible life. What could possibly be going good for such a twisted man? Jaebum made a mental note to look into what his father had been doing for the past ten years.

 

Giving the old house another look, Jaebum scoffed at himself for showing the tiny bits of longing. He his heels and walked away from the mental trauma he dealt with in the place he no longer called home. When he left ten years ago, he decided to leave everything behind. No need to reminisce about anything else that's not his adorable Youngjae.

 

Unfortunately, the streets were getting busier as time dragged on. Jaebum barely had on a disguise, just a pair of sunglasses, so he hurried back before he could cause trouble for his management. And well, he didn’t want to cause trouble for Lawyer Choi either.

 

Jaebum took the usual route from his old house back to the biggest mansion in town. It had been a while since Jaebum felt so content just walking on a simple sidewalk. It was like he was back in his high school days where he would be walking to sneak his best friend out of that evil witch’s grasp. He remembered there would be a traffic stop between his side of town and Youngjae’s side of town. They would meet in the middle. Smiles on their faces. Usually, Youngjae would be the one crossing-

 

Jaebum stopped dead on his tracks. Memories of that horrendous day poured over his head in the blink of an eye. There was so much blood. Youngjae’s body felt so cold. Jaebum heard himself screaming over and over again when that car crashed into Youngjae, who was oblivious while still smiling so happily. They were banned from seeing each other. They were away from each other for a very long time. They missed each other. They just wanted to see each other…

 

“Jaebum-ssi?”

 

Immediately, Jaebum lifted his head up towards the familiar voice he loves, loves, loves so much. Right across, Youngjae was there. “D-don’t…”

 

Youngjae looked up at the pedestrian light and frowned. The light needed to be fixed. It had been years, it seemed. Thinking back about it, Youngjae never really seen the light actually worked before. Not in his memories anyways. Wondering why Jaebum wasn’t moving at all, Youngjae pressed his lips together awkwardly and crossed the street without a second thought.

 

And Jaebum freaked out. Running faster than Youngjae was walking, Jaebum pushed the young master back to the sidewalk. “What the are you doing?!”

 

“I-”

 

“Why weren’t you looking both ways before crossing? Didn’t I tell you to do so before? Do you want to die that badly?”

 

“Hey, calm down-”

 

“What the were you thinking-”

 

“This road was blocked off ten years ago!” Youngjae shouted above Jaebum’s hysteria. Youngjae sighed, “I think it was around the time of my accident. My mother personally went to pay a visit to the town councilor and demanded to completely ban any cars from coming through this road.” Youngjae wished he could see Jaebum’s eyes. He wanted to see what type of emotion was hiding behind those dark shades.

 

Jaebum didn’t say anything but looked like he had calmed down a little.

 

Youngjae cleared his throat after a few seconds and wiggled his arm, “Can you let me go now?”

 

They both looked down at the way the older gripped tightly onto the younger’s arm. Of course, they noticed how plush their upper bodies were against one another. Youngjae was the first to react by pushing them apart. He rubbed his arm a little.

 

“Did I hurt you?” Jaebum asked, voice laced with concern and something much more deeper.

 

“I-I’m fine!”

 

They shared another uncomfortable silence.

 

“Where were you last night?” Jaebum asked, finally breaking the stillness of their nonexistent chemistry.

 

“That’s none of your business.”

 

“Everyone was very worried, Youngjae.”

 

“Yeah… I know…”

 

“Did you pass your house without going in? Where are you planning on going now?”

 

The young master rolled his eyes, “Why are you asking so many questions? Are you my mom now? Leave me alone.” He attempted to walk away but the idol already took a hold of his wrist. Trying to break free, Youngjae glared at Jaebum. “Let go. What are you doing?”

 

Again, Jaebum remained silent and dragged Youngjae along. Throughout the rest of the way, it was Youngjae who spewed all kinds of curses and annoyed remarks at a muted Jaebum. For some reason, Jaebum looked upset. But Youngjae could care less. He spent a whole night outside to avoid this person, yet it was pathetic that he, a prestigious young master, was dragged back to his mansion by this very person. If he hadn’t decided to use that route, he wouldn’t have come face-to-face with Jaebum.

 

The maids heard the commotion outside and rushed to go see. As soon as they saw their young master, they all cried out dramatically. When the gates opened, Nami flew down the steps to tend to her young master. Before the head maid could utter a word, Jaebum carefully pushed past the small crowd of maids. The maids looked at each other in confusion.

 

Youngjae kept trying to wiggle his way out, but ended up cursing Jaebum for being so strong for no reason. He got dragged through the front, up the stairs, and into his original room. And got thrown onto the bed. “Are you crazy?!” Young Master Choi yelped in surprise as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

 

“Is this fun to you?”

 

“What-”

 

“You can’t just leave in the middle of the night without anyone knowing. And you were planning on spending more time outside? Does it ever come across your mind that there are people who are worried sick about you or are you just that dense?”

 

“Why are you so angry?!”

 

Jaebum stared at Youngjae for a couple seconds and then sighed, “I’m not angry.”

 

“Yes, you are. Since the time at the traffic stop, you were rough. Seriously, what the is your problem? Why do you care so much? Stop acting like you care.”

 

“Stop acting like I don’t care, Youngjae.”

 

Although extremely annoyed, the young master kept his cool. “Well, fine. I’m home now, so can you stop being an ? You can’t just go around manhandling people whenever and wherever you want.”

 

“And what about it? Are people going to snitch on us to your mother like-” Luckily, Jaebum’s brain held his heart back.

 

“What,” Youngjae looked at the man in front of him with genuine curiosity in his eyes, “Did you say?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“You said something.”

 

“I said nothing.”

 

“Fine. Whatever.”

 

“...”

 

Suddenly, the young master started removing a few layers of his clothes. Jaebum reacted quickly and turned away. Youngjae stripped down to his button up and pants in seconds. He pushed all the extra clothes off the bed and got under the warm blanket. Honestly, he missed sleeping in his own bed. Only if his mother wasn’t being an unreasonable and ordered him to lend his room to their special guest. That was before his mother found out who exactly was the special guest. Youngjae inhaled softly and closed his eyes. “I’m going to be here for a while. You can leave. By the time you get back, the sheets will be clean and the bed will be empty.”

 

Watching the entire situation play out in front of him, Jaebum quirked an eyebrow. He started to wonder if Youngjae became delirious after a night out in this biting cold weather. Because on a normal day, Choi Youngjae would never let his guard down like this in front of Im Jaebum. “Do you want anything to eat?”

 

“No.”

 

“What about drinks?”

 

“Alcohol.”

 

“You drink a lot, huh?” Jaebum pointed out as he invited himself to sit on the bed. “An alcoholic…”

 

Still having his eyes closed, Youngjae didn’t notice the slight dip on the bed. “You could say so. To be more precise… An alcoholic who rarely gets drunk.”

 

“That’s good. I don’t like alcoholics who get drunk.”

 

“Hmm... Sounds like you got a tragic background.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Guess we both got that in common…”

 

By the soft tone of Youngjae’s voice, the young master had yielded to his tiredness. He should have stayed at a hotel last night instead of crashing at some random bar. Im Jaebum really stressed him out to the point where all he could do to rid himself of that fast rhythm of his heart was to drink for hours on end. From the moment at the traffic stop, Jaebum already knew. The smell of alcohol reeked every inch of Youngjae’s clothes. But instead of being a trigger for that part of childhood Jaebum loathed, it was an intense aroma that pulled him deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.

 

Hovering above Youngjae’s serene face, Jaebum whispered softly, “Can I kiss you?”