A fancy black car pulled up to the tall gates of the Choi residence a couple minutes after the maids finished cleaning up breakfast. Noticing the vehicle, the head maid immediately called her young master. Youngjae looked up from the file he had in front of him. At last week's function, he didn't get to meet the guest due to his inability to control his own emotions. Such an embarrassment but Youngjae would rather dip than introduce himself with red eyes and clammy hands. Later that night, his mother just sent him a short text to fly back as soon as possible. She never gave any details about the guest. That was not a problem, because it didn't matter who, Young Master Choi would make sure to show excellent hospitality.

 

Youngjae got up from his seat and made his way to the front. He heard faint chatters when he reached the front yard. "Open the gates," Youngjae ordered the bodyguards.

 

The moment the gates opened, Youngjae's eyes widened in pure surprise. There stood Im Jaebum in his usual leather jacket and sunglasses. Next to him was, of course, the bubbly athlete with a grin that hides way too many secrets. Youngjae couldn't utter a single word for some good seconds, still too in a trance from such a scary coincidence.

 

Nami, the head maid of the Chois since Madame Choi inherited the family business, covered to hide a loud gasp. Her old eyes can't be playing tricks on her, right? That's… That's… "Jaebum?!" Nami blurted out of excitement.

 

A smile spread across the idol’s face as he took off his sunglasses. He gave a little bow and swallowed the urge to throw himself at the kindhearted head maid out of nostalgia. This entire scene brought back so many memories that Jaebum wished he could let it pass over his head to ease his pain. Who would have thought Im Jaebum could now step into the Choi residence with the lightest steps? Just years ago, he had to sneak around to get a glimpse of the cute young master, but now, that same cute young master personally greets him at the front gates. The lioness of this mansion must be swallowing her own blood out of anger at this very moment. Though Jaebum could care less.

 

Unable to control her excitement, Nami ran past her young master to the guest's side. She cupped Jaebum's face with teary eyes. "It's really you… You've grown so much…"

 

Jaebum wished he could lean into the gentle cradling, but they couldn't forget the fact that Youngjae was still standing there looking quite confused. "Ahjumma-"

 

"You two know each other?" It's funny how a simple question managed to throw everybody off guard within seconds. At first, Youngjae really thought Nami was a fan of the idol. However, that thought completely changed the moment Nami approached Jaebum quite casually as if they had known each other for a long time.

 

Hearing the young master's voice, the head maid retracted her hands immediately. How could she be so careless?! How could she forget that her master suffered from the aftermath of that accident?! Nami lowered her head and grabbed at her apron in panic. Also in a slight panic, Jaebum's head swarmed with things to say but none came out. The pain in his eyes seeped through the ice wall he tried to build. He looked at Youngjae and found a look he didn't dare comprehend. Jaebum knew that Youngjae didn't harbor any memories of them. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt whenever he looked at Youngjae and saw that the younger's eyes no longer held the love for Jaebum like they had before.

 

Especially right now.

 

Standing in the town they first met and fell in love.

 

"EHEM." Myungdae cleared his throat loudly to save the situation from growing even more suspicious. "Sorry I tagged along! I'm dropping Jaebum off since his manager is coming in later tonight. Noona said she'll stay at a hotel, because she didn't feel right staying here. She said only Jaebum was invited, so-"

 

Young Master Choi quickly cut in, "Tell her it's fine. We've already prepared a room for her."

 

"But-"

 

"Please, let her know that I personally invite her. Thank you, Myungdae-ssi."

 

Well, Jaebum didn't like hearing the way Youngjae's voice softened from the mention of Youngmi at all. The idol turned to his best friend, and with a cold gaze and stern voice, he said, "You don't have to tell her anything. I will personally tell her that I've already booked her stay at the hotel. The only time she will be showing up here is to pick me up to schedule and drop me off from schedule."

 

Reading the sudden change in atmosphere, Youngjae awkwardly averted his gaze away. For five seconds, no one said anything. Nami tried her best to hold in a little chuckle when she realized why Jaebum had such a pierce reaction. Meanwhile, Myungdae started to have a hard time keeping a confident face under Jaebum's harsh stare .The young master bit his lower lip and decided to speak up before Jaebum's glare ended up killing Myungdae. "I won't ask why you are here, Jaebum-ssi. Since you are our guest, I won't make it difficult for you. I hope you don't mind staying in my room?"

 

Both Myungdae and Jaebum shifted their entire attention to Youngjae. Their eyes bulged out of their sockets. Did they hear it correctly? Choi Youngjae-

 

"Are you sharing the room with him?!" Myungdae's habit of speaking before thinking still stuck to him. "You have such a BIG house! Why are you sharing…" Of course, Myungdae was elated for his best friend.

 

Jaebum's face turned a shade darker. He was blushing. What does this mean?

 

Youngjae chuckled softly and shook his head, "No, my mother had told me to lend my room to our important guest because my room is the second biggest after hers. It's been a long time, but I cleaned the room myself. I'll be using another room for the rest of our guest's stay."

 

"Oh." Both Myungdae and Jaebum looked incredibly disappointed at the truth.

 

"Anyways, you can come and settle in." The young master gestured for the two to follow him. When they reached the front door, Youngjae started sensing something rather strange. He wasn't leading anymore. More confusion crowded his head as he watched Jaebum's back. Why was he behind? Wasn't this his house?

 

They made their way upstairs, all followed behind Jaebum. Myungdae looked over at Nami, who communicated through her eyes, urging the athlete to stop his best friend. Taking the cue, Myungdae fast-walked and grabbed Jaebum's sleeve, "Ehem. Jaebum, what are you doing?"

 

Blinking, Jaebum stopped in his tracks. Scared to turn around to face Youngjae's questioning stares, Jaebum cracked a composed smile. To everyone else, it looked cool. But to Myungdae, it looked like Jaebum was begging for help. If only Myungdae had stopped Jaebum a little bit faster like he always did. This time, he failed to do so. The group ha already arrived at the door of Young Master Choi's bedchamber. Youngjae quirked an eyebrow. This morning could not get any weirder.

 

"Jaebum-ssi," Youngjae's cautious call created a shockwave unintentionally, "Is there something I need to know?"

 

"He… Ahahaha… He-" Myungdae visibly panicked.

 

"I just guessed," Jaebum replied calmly. "Mansions in towns like these are built the same. I've been to some before, so I just assumed the blueprint. And well, my guess is correct?"

 

Right in front of Nami and Myungdae, Youngjae snapped sharply, "Perks of being a lawyer," he reached out and pushed open the door while his eyes kept steady on Jaebum's, "I know when you are lying."

 

Jaebum had to clenched his fists in order to remain an expressionless face. He got caught red-handed.

 

"Myungdae-ssi, you can leave his bags here and be on your way. Nami-ahjumma, can you fix Jaebum-ssi a meal, please?" Youngjae pursed his lips, looking a bit annoyed. "Jaebum-ssi, you can make yourself at home. I'll be in the library if you need anything." Silently, Youngjae left.

 

The three stood there a bit taken back by what happened. The head maid sighed, "I'm sorry. I started this."

 

"Ahjumma, you did nothing wrong," Jaebum smiled and pulled the elder into his embrace. "I miss you. Thank you for still remembering me."

 

"I will always remember you, Jaebum-ah. Madame never treated you right, but I know you're the only one who loved Young Master more than anything." Nami reminisced about the past in Jaebum's embrace.

 

"I still do," Jaebum said quietly, "A lot."

 

<||><||><||><||><||>

 

Breakfast.

 

Lunch.

 

Even dinner.

 

The idol ate alone despite being the guest. The meals were great, but the atmosphere was a bit awkward and gloomy. After dinner, Jaebum sat in the living room and enjoyed the tea Nami made while looking around the place. Everything seemed to be the same as when he had last saw it. The first time he sat in this seat, he thought about how vastly different their worlds were from each other. Still different, but this time, in social status, Jaebum was at least comparable. Maybe not in importance or authority, but definitely in money. If he were to marry Youngjae, he’d have more than enough dowry.

 

Shaking his head and smiling shyly, Jaebum continued sipping on his cup of tea until even a drop vanished. How could he possibly be thinking of marriage when the young master of this mansion looked like he wanted to claw his guts out? Though, an opportunity like this comes only once in a lifetime. trying to interfere with Youngjae’s life. all of that. They’re under the same roof, so there's no way Jaebum could control his feelings at this point.

 

He fixed a plate of fresh fruits he had prepared himself. The maids who have been serving in this mansion from back then until now watched the handsome Jaebum cutting up fruits happily and couldn't help but fangirl over such cuteness. Nami kept on smiling while the others giggled with each other. They all knew what this infamous idol was about to do. Im Jaebum was never a stranger to this household. Only the new maids were confused, but they still found the whole scene to be very wholesome. To top it off, Jaebum added a glass of apple juice, Youngjae’s favorite. He carried the tray upstairs to the library.

 

Jaebum knocked softly. No response. Knocked again. Still no response. Again. Again. Again-

 

“Who is it? Please, stop knocking. I heard it the first time,” a voice called out from inside.

 

“If you heard it the first time, then why didn’t you answer?”

 

Silence.

 

Then one of the doors creaked open. The young master appeared in a messy state. It’s only been a day, yet the prestigious lawyer’s face has run through a war. “Can I help you?”

 

Smiling, Jaebum raised the tray a little above his chest, “Haven’t seen you all day. Just stopping by.”

 

Youngjae eyed the tray with suspicion. But seeing the gentle smile on the idol’s face, he opened the door a little wider. He must have lost his mind. Jaebum held back a wider smile as he followed Youngjae into the library. The library looked the same as the last time Jaebum had been in here. That day, he had to climb into the window of this library in order to meet with his beloved boyfriend. They spent the entire day reading books to each other and playing board games. Madame Choi was very pleased then, thinking that her son was diligently studying. She had no idea the reason the young master didn’t bother coming out of the library was because he had his secret lover over to play.

 

Jaebum set the tray on top of the table away from the pile of papers. He sat down and looked over at the lawyer expectantly. “Aren’t you tired? Have some fruits and juice.”

 

“I’m not a kid,” Youngjae rolled his eyes at the glass of apple juice. Though his eyes lingered on the freshly cut fruits. Giving into his hunger, he reached out and grabbed a slice of pear. Food really does taste different when he’s really hungry. In a couple minutes, the plate of fruits was gone and the glass of juice was empty.

 

“I thought you’re ‘not a kid’?” Jaebum smirked playfully. “You finished all of that quite fast…”

 

The lawyer cleared his throat and went back to typing vigorously on his laptop. “Thank you… If there isn’t anything else, you can leave.”

 

“I think it’s kind of rude to not interact with your guest.”

 

“...”

 

“You've locked yourself in here since morning, aren’t you feeling stuffy?” Jaebum got up from his seat and walked around the library. He already knew the answer to that question. His Youngjae’s personality never changed. Always the same studious and hardworking cute nerd who loves to surround himself with books and puzzles without a single word of complaint. Being a lawyer fits Youngjae perfectly.

 

Youngjae sighed softly, “I’m working. Nothing to feel stuffy about.”

 

No more words were exchanged between them. Youngjae went back to working while Jaebum waltzed around the room. Sometimes the older called out to ask about certain books and the younger answered shortly. Other than that, the room remained in a comfortable slumber with the sound of keyboard clicking and page flipping. They both got lost in their own things for a few hours. Only when Jaebum stopped hearing the frantic clicking of the keyboard did he look up from the book he was engrossed in. A subtle pout etched on Jaebum’s lips. Youngjae wasn’t in his seat anymore.

 

“That’s a good book,” Youngjae popped out of nowhere with a tray of cookies and two glasses of red wine. The young master settled down across from his guest on the floor. “I used to read it all the time when I was younger.”

 

“When you were younger?” Jaebum remembered the page and closed the book. He set it aside before picking up a cookie. His heartstrings tugged annoyingly at those words from Youngjae. It was their book. The book that peaked Jaebum’s reading interest and the book that meant so much to Youngjae because of the memories attached to it. But Youngjae doesn’t hold those memories anymore.

 

“Yeah,” the young master took a sip of his wine, “After my accident, I always locked myself in here and read every book again and again to cope with my own sadness, I guess. And that book has always been my favorite.” He picked up the book and looked at it with unreadable eyes.

 

“You were sad…?” Never in a million years would Jaebum thought they could be together like this again. Just sitting and enjoying drinks with each other. Just bathing in each other’s presence in this library full of their memories of the love they hoard for each other.

 

“Of course! I was sad… So sad… Wouldn’t you be too if you realized you’ve lost all sixteen years of your life?” Another sip of wine. “I was a confused mess when I woke up that day. I didn’t know where I was or who I was. It was so hard to relearn everything as if it was my first time. Can you imagine a sixteen year old learning how to do higher level math and read English again? My mother didn’t waste a single second in strictly disciplining me in my education. I worked hard to impress her, and within a year I was able to climb back to being top of my classes. Took my college entrance exam and passed with a perfect score. The day I got my results back I quickly packed up and immediately wanted to move out. It’s crazy how much pressure I had felt living in this house. When I woke up from my coma, I thought my mother was all that I had left. I tried everything to make her happy. But in the end, I decided I wanted to breathe for once.”

 

“I get it. Your mother is a bit- ehem. I mean she seemed controlling.”

 

Youngjae laughed, “I’m sorry I overshared. I don’t why I’m talking about my personal things to you.”

 

Jaebum shrugged and ate another cookie, “What’s so bad about me?”

 

The look Youngjae gave Jaebum in that moment was difficult for Jaebum to put into words. The older couldn’t help but get lost in those earnest eyes. For a few seconds, it felt like they were in their own world. Such strong emotion poured from Youngjae’s eyes. Jaebum wondered if Youngjae knew how his own heart felt in the moment. Or maybe Youngjae was getting a bit tipsy. Jaebum leaned in a little.

 

“You’re a very mean person…” Youngjae said quietly, expression unfazed by the move Jaebum made. “And you hate me for no reason. I shouldn’t even be giving you the opportunity to bother me like this. So why…”

 

“Why?”

 

“Why does it feel like you’re someone I knew? Since the day we’ve met, I always felt this pull towards you. Why…?”

 

“Really?” Jaebum leaned in a little bit more.

 

“It’s never been easy to talk about my past. But just minutes ago, I didn’t mind who you were and opened up to you. The same thing happened at the restaurant last time. Whenever you’re around, I just… I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel so at ease. Like I know you’ll always be there for me. I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. Why am I telling you all this stuff? We don’t know each other like that at all. You’re not even my friend… Yet, I feel so comfortable around you. I acted like your existence bothered me, but in reality, I found myself always worrying about you. Found myself always wanting to make sure you were okay. Why am I going out of my way to take care of you and worry about you when I don’t even know you?”

 

Jaebum knew where this was going.

 

“So many things happened that made me question this. Like how did you know your way around my house? How did you know I like pears and apple juice? How did you know and understand me before I could even understand myself? You seemed to know so much more about me than you’ve let on.” Tears rolled down Youngjae’s cheeks as he tried to hold himself together. “Just… Who exactly are you, Im Jaebum?”

 

“I am who you think I am,” Jaebum replied firmly.

 

“A-are you my Jae-”

 

Jaebum leaned in all the way and pressed their lips together. Time froze as they both drowned themselves in this pool of torment. When Jaebum pulled away, his teary eyes locked on Youngjae’s. His fingers rested gently on the feather hung around Youngjae’s neck. Jaebum wished things were simple so they could be with each other again. They were meant to be, and he will fight for them. But he can’t be selfish like he wanted to. Let this be their closure. “Go rest. You can finish the rest tomorrow.”

 

Youngjae didn’t budge as Jaebum exited the library with the tray and empty glasses of wine.

 

Another tear fell as Youngjae touched the feather that has been his source of comfort all these years.

 

He felt pain.

 

Pain from a broken heart.

 

<||><||><||><||><||>

 

The maids didn’t dare utter a single word. They stood there, worried sick about their young master who was chugging down bottles after bottles of liquor. Half an hour ago, they were getting ready to retreat back to their rooms until loud clacks of glass contacting glass made them dash to the dining room. There they found their young master taking in shots after shots. After the first bottle, comes the second, then the third. Soon enough, the young master ditched the glass cup and went straight to drink from the bottle. All the maids looked at Nami, hoping she would do something. But Nami just shook her head. Something must have happened in the library between those two that wasn’t anyone’s business to interfere with. It hurts Nami to see her precious young master going through such lengths to rid himself of the pain he must have felt, but what can she do?

 

“Should we stop him?” One of the maids asked, looking scared that something worse was about to come.

 

“No, let’s just go to bed,” Nami said and turned to walk away from the scene. Everyone was confused but followed the head maid out.

 

Youngjae was left alone to wallow in his pain. His heart felt like it had been shattered into millions of pieces. Every inch of his skin felt the sting and he just wanted to drink it all away. Though, the more he drank, the more heartbroken he felt. Why does it hurt? Why does it?! WHY. DOES. IT… Hurts…

 

His head spun wildly.

 

The usual headache started clawing at his skull again.

 

But Youngjae drank.

 

Ignoring the pain and drank and drank and drank until he couldn’t think anymore.

 

The voices…

 

“Jaebum!”

 

His own voice…

 

“Jaaaaebummie!”

 

“Jae-”

 

“Jaebum-”

 

“-bum…”

 

“Jaebum-ah!”

 

“Jae-Jaebum…”

 

“I love you, Im Jaebum.”

 

Youngjae slammed the bottle down. His hands were shaking and pupils dilated with pure shock. He staggered against the table, only managed to hold his limp body up with both of his palms planted on the tabletop. His breathing slowed but was drawn out as he tried to clear his head. But the amount of alcohol in his system had already mush his mind into a puddle of murky madness. He covered his eyes with the palm of his hand and burst out laughing bitterly. He felt like he was really losing his sanity. Nothing made sense to him anymore. No memories came back. Just those voices that belonged to no one other than himself. Youngjae cried through his laughter, unable to explain anything to himself. He felt more lost than ever.

 

Hopefully, his drunkenness could make him forget.

 

He struggled to go up the stairs in the mess that he was in. His eyes closed and his hand guided him to his room. Youngjae wanted to lie down in his bed and sleep away all this pain in his heart. When he reached the familiar door, Youngjae pushed it open easily. Making his way in, Youngjae suddenly felt a strong scent of closeness within the room. His mind relaxed and he smiled contently. Youngjae reached the bed and plopped his heavy body on it without much care. Something under the sheets moved a bit, but the young master was too out of it to pay attention.

 

Whatever it was, he’ll take care of it when he wakes up tomorrow.