“So if I never asked, you weren’t going to tell me,” Myungdae trailed after his best friend, arms outstretched against his sides. He hadn’t been around much recently since his manager decided to have him coach some actors for a new sports drama. And whenever he did have the time, Jaebum rarely picked up his calls. So finding out about his best friend’s so-called crush and his best friend spending the night together, even though nothing happened, through Youngmi caught him off guard. 

Jaebum fixed his earpiece, not even bothering to turn around. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“DRAMATIC?” Myungdae gasped, actually offended, “I’m your best friend! How is it that Youngmi-noona knew before me??”

“She only knew because she showed up the morning after to pick me up for my schedule.” 

Sometimes, Myungdae thought about how much he hated Jaebum’s man-of-few-words personality. They've known each other for how long now? Yet Jaebum still liked to keep a steel wall around himself. Myungdae always had to bring things up if he wanted answers. “Yeah, and that was two days ago. Do I have to move in with you to be in the loop with everything that’s going on in your life?” 

Now Jaebum turned around, pulling the sponsored coat over his shoulders. “I know you worry. I appreciate that. But Myungdae-ah, you really don’t need to keep looking after me every second of the day. I’m pushing thirty. I no longer want to kill myself. I’m doing quite fine, actually. The dinner with Youngjae went well. I respected his boundaries. And now we’re casually talking. I think I can start over with him-”

“And then what? You’re telling me you’re going to start over with this version of Youngjae, whose memories are in the wind. What happens when he remembers? How would he feel knowing you’re pursuing a different version of him because you gave up on the past him-”

“Youngjae is still Youngjae,” Jaebum snapped, forgetting that he had to be careful with the crystals adorning the lapels of the coat. He stared at his best friend, the person he trusted to have his back no matter what. Part of him knew Myungdae wanted to avoid heartbreaks on both sides. Myungdae was right. Hiding the truth from Youngjae, who seemed to be very much trying to regain his memories, would not make it in the long-run. But Jaebum wasn’t trying to hide anything. He’d be happy to tell it all. Just… “It’s not the right time right now.”

Myungdae scoffed, “You sound ridiculous. If it’s not right now, then WHEN? Im Jaebum-”

“I’ll tell him-”

this expensive coat. Myungdae grabbed his best friend’s shoulders. Fingers gripping so hard, the gemstones held desperately onto their stitches. The athlete made a mental note to visit the designer later to compensate and question the choice of crystals on both lapels and epaulets. Did the designer want the idol to look like a bedazzled water bottle under the lights or what? Who the thought it was a good idea for this stage outfit anyways? The entire album is full of ballads. They can’t put Jaebum in a fuzzy baby pink sweater and call it a day?

“You know damn well you’re not going to tell him, Im Jaebum.” For the first time in their decade-long friendship, Myungdae saw the way Jaebum’s eyes quivered with emotions other than sadness. Ever since leaving Youngjae, Jaebum stopped letting people in. Myungdae could never read his best friend more than two blank pages. He couldn’t understand what Jaebum was thinking until those thoughts were brought to reality. Like that Christmas night. He knew Jaebum was sad, not suicidal. 

Thinking back, everyone knew Im Jaebum was sad. Fans, friends, management, even haters—everyone just knew. His eyes were always lifeless. He could be holding the Best Solo Artist of the Year trophy, yet his smile never reached his eyes. Everywhere he went, people showered him with love, yet he was still alone. For ten years, Jaebum lived like an empty shell. He had forgotten the last time he felt truly happy. 

The agency really pushed for Jaebum to go to therapy after Youngmi found him overdosing on sleeping pills. That night, he couldn’t sleep no matter how hard he tried. He just wanted to sleep. The following afternoon, an appointment with a therapist was set up as Jaebum signed the discharge paperwork on his hospital bed. From then on, Jaebum went to the meetings to appease CEO Lee. But of course, even the therapist couldn’t break down his walls. If anything, it made Jaebum rebel even more.

After that Christmas night, CEO Lee personally met with the therapist and canceled all future appointments. 

Myungdae sighed and released his grip. “I should play the supportive best friend, right? Do whatever you want. I’m worried about your stupid decisions, but I've also got your back. Though if Youngjae comes crying to me, I will break your leg.” 

“Thank you.” Jaebum closed his eyes, steering himself back to his usual demeanor. “Please, believe me. I’ll tell him. I just want to take things slow right now. Can I at least allow myself to slowly insert my existence back into his life before I drop the news on him?”

The athlete scoffed, already walking back out the door. “I’m pretty sure you’ve done enough to ruin him already.”

<||><||><||><||><||>

For the past thirty minutes, Youngjae wondered why he was still sitting here, entertaining this blind date his mother tricked him into. Out of his conscience as a filial child, Youngjae agreed to have lunch with the madam before her flight. Only Madam Choi never showed up, but instead, in her place, sat the elegant youngest daughter of MX Enterprise. The lawyer wanted to pull out all his hair the moment his date politely confirmed his identity and settled herself across from him. Youngjae cursed himself for being a pushover at times like this. He didn’t want to be rude and embarrass the lady, so he it up and played along. Madam Choi was definitely watching somewhere. 

Moon Yerim wasn’t just any woman. Despite being the youngest of her family, she’s known to be ambitious and career-driven. At the young age of thirty-three, she had already earned herself the Director position with her own two hands. Out of all her siblings, Yerim was probably the only one capable of becoming the heiress. Madam Choi did have an eye for the perfect match, a conglomerate that would benefit her endeavors. 

Rumors on the streets said Moon Yerim was too successful, too headstrong, too intimidating for traditional Korean men who occupy the business world. Those men usually go for a trophy wife who is obedient and sits around looking pretty, not someone who could possibly compete with them in finance and authority. Youngjae would roll his eyes whenever his mother introduced him to another one of those men who were scared of successful women. In Youngjae’s eyes, Moon Yerim was everything he could have asked for… If he was straight as a ruler.

Even with his memories all jumbled up, Youngjae knew he was gay. Back in his senior year of high school, he hoped that he was biual out of fear of upsetting his mother. But no, he was only ever gawking at men. Though his body count never reached the double digits, given how much he used to check out every man he happened to lay eyes on. He didn’t really have time to seriously date anyone, so he never thought about the perfect man for him. But if he had to marry a woman, he wouldn’t mind Moon Yerim. 

That if a certain someone hadn’t already taken space in his mind day and night.

Sighing, the lawyer took a sip of the wine he ordered as soon as the waiter finished their little greeting. Seemed like these days, all Youngjae did was drink his problems away. He should stop before he becomes a drunkard. And Jaebum didn’t like that. 

Oh. So now he cares about what Jaebum thinks?  

Youngjae smiled to himself. They have only been texting each other back and forth about typical mundane things—not even a full on deep conversation because of how busy they both were—for the past two weeks or so. Yet all Youngjae could think about on his blind date with the most amazing woman in all of South Korea was how Im Jaebum was doing. 

Did he really give in that fast?

But what about his handwriting in that journal-

“Am I boring you, Youngjae-ssi?” Yerim’s voice pulled the lawyer back to the present. 

“No! Not at all. It’s just… I’m still processing this whole thing…” 

Yerim took a sip of her own wine. Her posture remained ever so confident as she gazed into her date’s eyes. Normally, she wouldn’t give younger men a second glance, but Choi Youngjae is quite an eye-catcher. With the way Youngjae was acting, she already knew he wasn’t interested. But Yerim didn’t mind looking at his face for a bit longer. Food’s already here, so might as well pretend she’s enjoying this. Might as well give her father something to brag about with his friends. “Processing? I’m surprised a lawyer is taking this long to process something so trivial.”

The lawyer didn’t react to his date’s tease. He was just glad that they were both on the same page. At least he won’t feel bad when he ghosts her after. Hopefully, they won’t be crossing paths again in this life. 

Lunch went better than expected. Both parties exchanged a fair amount of words and casual banter. Yerim managed to make Youngjae laugh, and vice versa. By the time deserts rolled around, the two had formed quite a friendship with one another. Anyone passing by their table probably thought they were a pair of good-looking wealthy siblings catching up on each other’s lives after being apart for years. 

“Were you tricked by your mother?” Yerim asked, shoulders relaxed and lips curling up into a sympathetic smile. 

Youngjae sighed, “Was it obvious?”

“Absolutely. You should have seen the look on your face when I first spoke to you. I’d frame it if I could. Probably would cheer me up after a terrible day.” 

“I’m glad I could be of use to you,” Youngjae smiled back. “You’re a very nice person. I’m sorry that I can’t-”

Yerim held up her hand to stop the younger and plopped the last piece of cake into . She could finally savor the desert more comfortably since the start of this date. This whole thing could have gone much worse, but Lady Luck hasn’t abandoned her. Choi Youngjae was the perfect younger brother she always wanted. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just here so my father can stop nagging me about marriage. I think you’re adorable. We should hang out more.”

“Yerim-ssi… I appreciate the compliment, but I’m not inter-” 

“Fancy meeting you here, Youngjae-ssi.”

The couple turned their heads toward the interruption. Without missing a beat, the intruder flashed an ever so charming smile and pulled a random chair from behind him to the table. He settled down before taking off his shades. His eyes never left the target, Choi Youngjae. Yerim almost fell off her seat from being starstruck. Who knew someone like Moon Yerim was a fan? On the other hand, Youngjae had no idea what was even happening. 

“What-”

“You must have had a great lunch, Lawyer Choi,” the idol remarked, eyes unamused as they bore into Youngjae’s shocked face. “I know I didn’t answer your text fast enough this morning, but doing this isn’t fair.” 

Youngjae almost fainted in disbelief. His brain was still trying to process the ridiculousness playing in front of him. Of ALL the high-end restaurants in Seoul, Im Jaebum just happens to walk into this one?? 

Seeing how Youngjae couldn’t utter a single word, Yerim cleared and took the lead. “Hello. I’m Moon Yerim. Nice to meet you, Im Jaebum-ssi.” 

To be polite, Jaebum broke eye contact and turned to the lady. “Nice to meet you, too, Moon Yerim-ssi. How was your date with my lawyer?” The customer service smile he offered was enough to steer Yerim into fan mode.

Quickly recovering from falling into her fangirl world, Yerim straightened her posture and answered curtly. “It went well.” Although she came from an infamous family, Yerim never had the time to feed her source of entertainment. She only recently became a fan of Im Jaebum. This would be the first time she sees him close-up. But that doesn’t mean she’d lose her professionalism. Director Moon definitely wasn’t stupid. She caught on to that intended possessive. She also caught on to the way Jaebum’s smile didn’t match the emotion in his eyes. So the rumors were true after all. 

Though Jaebum could care less. Turning his attention back to the main subject, Jaebum looked at Youngjae, his jaw clenching to suppress the childish emotions boiling at the pit of his stomach. They were nothing to each other, so Jaebum didn’t have the right to feel upset about catching Youngjae on a date with someone else. It still hurts. 

Exhaling softly, Youngjae gathered himself. “What are you doing here?”

“Why can’t I be here? It’s a restaurant. Restaurants serve food. I’m hungry. So I need food.” 

“Jaebum-”

“My bad. Didn’t mean to get in between you two. I’ll leave now.”

“Hey-”

At this point, Yerim couldn’t hold it in anymore. She stifled a laugh behind her hand. “I’m, um, I’m sorry but Jaebum-ssi, I think you’re misunderstanding-”

“Oh my God. Is that Im Jaebum?!” 

“It is!”

“He’s so handsome in person!” 

“Why is he here-”

“Who are those people sitting with him-”

“Don’t tell me he’s on a date-”

“No way! Im Jaebum is an idol-”

“Wait, are you taking pictures-”

Before Jaebum could react, Youngjae had already grabbed his coat and threw it over the idol’s head. He reached out to grab the shades and hurriedly pushed them onto Jaebum’s face. “I’m so sorry, Yerim-ssi. I’ll contact you later to formally apologize. We have to go now. Thank you for today.” 

Unable to wait for Yerim’s reply, Youngjae ushered Jaebum towards the exit. As they passed by, the commotion grew louder with uncontrollable enthusiasm. People were up in their seats, craning their necks to get a better look. Phones were held high in an attempt to snap a half decent picture of evidence. In the many years of his blossoming career, Youngjae had never been so stressed. His responsibility wasn’t damage control, but he couldn’t help but get involved. Plus, Jaebum’s -it-all attitude failed to soothe the situation. Seriously, it was like dealing with a child. 

The lawyer let go of his client as soon as the elevator doors closed. He took one look at the idol and sighed in frustration. “Did you forget your face is literally everywhere on the streets?” Youngjae reached over to pull his coat forward a little bit more. Satisfied with the coverage, he fished out his phone to text Youngmi. 

Jaebum peeked out from under the coat with a frown. “Why were you having lunch with her?”

“This really isn’t the time,” Youngjae said, putting his arms around Jaebum once again as he led the idol outside of the building. By pure luck, Youngmi hadn’t completely left the building after dropping Jaebum off. She immediately parked at the front as soon as she read the text. Approaching the car, Youngjae waved for the manager to open the door. Quickly, he nudged the idol inside with a disapproving look. 

Before the door closed, Jaebum reached out and grabbed Youngjae’s arm. “Are you going back in? To her?”

Eyes closed as an exhale left his lips, Youngjae gently removed Jaebum’s hand. He answered, “I’m going back in to handle all the pictures taken of you.” With a tinge of patience tugging at his heart, he smiled softly. “You’ve caused a lot of trouble for me, but you can make it up with dinner tonight.” 

Even with shades on, anyone could see the surprise and excitement twinkling in the idol’s eyes. “Youngjae-”

“I’ll come by to grab my coat.”

Youngjae slid the door shut, the playful little smile never left his lips. Jaebum watched as his lover ran back inside the building. Butterflies stirred at the pit of his stomach as he hugged Youngjae’s coat to his chest. “Noona, clear all my schedules for tonight.”

“But-”

“I’ll take responsibility. Just clear them, please.”

Taking a quick glance at the rearview mirror, Youngmi smiled to herself. It was a relief to know that her artist had finally allowed himself to be happy.