“Who am I?”

Yerin was just floating in mid-air, on her knees, lazily blinking her eyes at the figure in front of her. It was a formless creature with a face that she cannot really identify. It seemed like a convergence of various faces, a complete combination of any other organism on Earth and outside it. 

“I shall not tell you”

Yerin was just floating in mid-air, not even feeling anything; it was weird. It felt to her as if someone just stole her identity or something, but she wasn’t too sure as she couldn’t distinguish any feelings apart from feeling nothing at all. 

“Why?”

“Because I shall plant brand new roots into your mind, so that you can never feel pain or happiness again…”, the figure turned its back to her and continued, “it’s the best thing I could do for you”

The figure’s sentences didn’t particularly move her, but she could sense what it meant. However, the blank Yerin couldn’t connect to herself the reason. 

“I’ll cast it on you now”, the figure sighed before chanting a totally foreign language. From Yerin’s side, she was still, just listening to the figure as if she doesn’t have her own will. When the figure finished, it went near Yerin and touched her heart. There, her memories resurfaced, but only the bad memories were brought back to life. This led Yerin to bawl her eyes out, shouting in agony and hatred. She found herself disappointing, and the people around the same hurting creatures.

The figure declared, “Reset”, and Yerin felt her body elevating. She was lying in thin air, with tears still streaming down her face. She could hear someone say, ‘Will you accept this?’, and Yerin was not in a state wherein she could decide for herself. 

The bad memories were starting to be permanently removed from the depths of her mind. But even with the light feeling she got from having them buried, her heart was wringing. Along with her painful memories, smiles she genuinely showed to Buddies, her family and friends, and her Gfriend sisters — she saw and felt them. 

Contrary to what the figure was expecting, Yerin broke off from Reset. The latter snapped out of her dissociated self, and regained her strength. She stood up, still floating in mid-air, the difference lied on her - Yerin could feel once again. It was still a faint feeling, but it seemed like a sprouting ray of hope. 

“I… I am regaining my emotions… am I?”, she was still doubting, but she could feel it within her. 

The figure looked at her with anger, how could she break off from reset? It went near her and strangled her. The poor girl couldn’t move and had a hard time breathing, but she collected herself and managed to utter a word, “Help”. 

With a monstrous transformation, the figure was still holding on to Yerin’s neck, as if it was playing with a doll. Yerin could feel her lungs giving up, tears were falling from her eyes, and there was a great amount of constriction going on her neck. The time was slow in its ticking, as if everything was set into slow motion, but Yerin could not adjust to the motion shift. It was clear to her from that moment that she was dying, but still unclear whether she’ll die in her dreams or in her reality. Well, that’s what she thought.

The figure disintegrated the next second, she had no idea how it did, but that saved her life. It was hurting, her neck was hurting, but she was glad with it. 

Darkness that comprised the figure was starting to be lifted off, and in its fading, the original hue of the place came back. Pastels and soft creations returned to their world, and it was beautiful. No trace could be seen, it’s as if nothing happened. Her personalities emerged from the colourful bushes once again, running towards her. This time they were all wearing the same expression - gratitude and happiness. 

As much as she loved to stay further with the other Yerins, she could feel her body failing its own. Right before they could touch her, she breathed her last breath. 

“Hmm…”

“Unnie?”

“Unnie! Yerin-unnie!”

The astonished Yuju who could barely contain her tears came running to her unnie. Yerin could barely open her eyes, and she still felt detached from everything that has happened to her. However, even with her current state, she managed to paint a curve on her lips. She died in her dreams, but now she came back to her home, with a lesson planted in her heart and in her soul.