-AUGUST 21-

After a long silent session of doing nothing but staying still, Yerin managed to calm Sinb down and soon after she fell asleep on her lap. Umji scooted over and whispered,

“Unnie, we should put her to bed.”

Yerin nodded and carefully laid Sinb on her pillow. Umji decided to sleep with the girl tonight, thinking at least when she wakes up later, she wouldn’t be alone. After tucking both Umji and Sinb to bed, she heaved a huge sigh. She didn’t know if it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of intense heaviness. However, she felt a little more at ease watching Sinb looking peaceful as she sleeps, but she could still sense a tint of tension from her, looking at her slightly furrowed eyebrows. It was the first time she saw Sinb actually sleeping so soundly ever since the passing of Sowon.  Yerin gently moved her stray stands of hair covering Sinb’s face and carefully tucked it behind the girl’s ear. She patted her head as her gaze slowly shifted to her exposed wrist that was hanging over the blanket

She very carefully lifted up her wrist, afraid of waking the girl up. She scanned the wounds, old and new, she could feel the pain as if she was the one who was covered with the deep cuts. Tears began to well up in her eyes again. She didn’t know what to do, watching her younger sisters in such a state, she wondered how did Sowon do this all by herself. She recalled how Sowon was always in all smiles, full of energy and charisma. The leader knew what to do, knew what the members needed, she was by their sides through everything, through happiness, sorrows, hardships. Sowon was always there, she didn’t know how Sowon did it, but she knew she couldn’t do it like she did. 

Yerin quickly held her tears back as she quietly left the room and closed the door. She went outside to their dorm’s balcony. The smell of the dawn breeze and the emptiness of the streets, the silence was deafening. But Yerin somehow found peace within such darkness. She rested her forearms on the railing as took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the air. Sowon stood beside her. She wanted to give the girl a big hug and tell her how sorry she was and how she was in so much pain watching the people she loved and cared deeply fall to such a demising state, but she knew it was useless. Sowon has never seen such an unexplainable vibe coming from Yerin, the second eldest was always smiling, always laughing, always happy. The positive pill, the red gingseng, more specifically her red ginseng.

“Unnie.”

Yerin suddenly spoke. 

“Unnie, how are you up there? Things are really tough here in case you wanted to know.”

Sowon wanted to reply her, but knowing Yerin can’t hear her anyway, she held back her words.

“How did you do it…”

“Yerin ah…”

“I’m tired Unnie. Eunha and Yuna doesn’t wanna talk nor sing anymore, they’re just cooped up in their rooms all day. Yewon is trying so hard to move on, I can tell. She stopped mentioning about you days after your funeral, but I know she’s hurting. Sinb…”

Before Yerin could continue, her tears choked her. 

“Unnie I’m so scared…”

“I don’t know how to handle this when I see Sinb acting like this… I feel so useless I can’t help them, that I didn’t realise about this earlier, I could’ve st