Jihyun's P.O.V

I wouldn't say that I was completly lost. Because up to that moment I had been feeling some type of way for Namjoon. He had been treating me nicely and I felt like my feelings from my 11 year old self towards Namjoon was coming back and I didn't want this. When I was drinking all that wine, I knew exactly what I was doing, I was creating an excuse for myself to feel like I did. And up to that moment, the moment we fell on the bed with me ontop of Namjoon I had told myself that all that wine coulD be used as an excuse for the feelings but I wouldnt act upon them. But then he was right there and I had an excuse,  Namjoon said something, but he didnt finish because I pushed my lips on his. Namjoon was still for a momemt and I dared not to move. I didn't know what I was doing but at the same time I did. I felt Namjoon's hand on my waist as he eased into it, he flipped us over and removed his lips from mine. I decided to keep my eyes closed as I heard Namjoon cuss under his breath.

I acted like nothing happened the next day. Namjoon looked at me weirdly whilst we were eating breakfast, his eyes were borring into me as I ate my toast. "Namjoon are you ok?" I asked. "Yeah I am fine" Namjoon said unsure. Yesterday was insignificant for me, everything I did was under alcohol use, I didn't really like Namjoon. Atleast not the real him, the one that was my bully. "So, are you ever going to stop bullying me?" I asked  looking at Namjoon over the table. Namjoon stared at me blankly, I sighed, "Can you atleast tell me why you bully me?". "I kind of hate you" Namjoon said before he took a bit from his toast. "You are always number 1 after every test, your parents are poor but you seem to have everything I want in life, the love from your parents, the attention they give you, you are best in class, you seem to have a much happier life, and that's why I started hating you when we were 11, I was jealous of you" Namjoon said as it meant nothing. I felt angrier with everyword he said, I frowned and Namjoon noticed, "I know it's stupid". "I was never happy at home and I was jealous of you, you had the money to do whatever you wanted, I HAVE to study because my parents work their asses off to send me to that private school. I only acted like I was happy so you wouldn't worry" I said. Namjoon cocked his eyebrow up, "you didn't want me to worry?". "You know I care about my friends, and we were friends back then" I answered. Namjoon stared at me, he then looked away then back to me, "I am sorry" he said a bit stiffly. "Are you sorry for bullying me or because you are not going to stop?" I asked. Namjoon ignored my  question.

We flied back to Seoul the same day and I spent most of the day studying. A week went by in school and I noticed Namjoon stopped bullying me, or more so avoided me in school. Taehyung had also noticed it. I decided not to tell Taehyung how I felt about Namjoon. Because I convinced myself that I didn't feel anything special about Namjoon. A new foriegn student started our class and somehow started hanging out  with Taehyung and I. I was a little hesitant about Sofie, I wasn't used to having friends but she seemed cool and Taehyung liked being with her.  Both Sofie and Taehyung got invited to Jin's party, I wasn't a party person and I initialy didn't want to go however Sofie and Taehyung forced me to go. Sofie had me go over to her place after school, we studied for about an hour before we started getting ready. I didn't know what to do or wear but Sofie did my makeup and lended me her dress. I was a little uncomfortably by the thightfitting long armed dress but when I looked in the mirror I liked was I was seeing. Sofie made me look like someone I had always wanted to be, a beautiful girl. "How did you learn good korean like that?" I asked Sofie as she was fixing her hair, she put some bobbypins in her loose afro, "I took some korean courses back in the states and had a lot of Korean friends". Taehyung texted me when he arrived Sofies place and both Sofie and I put some sneakers on then headed down to Taehyung's car.

Taehyung handed both Sofie and I drinks as he came over to us. " Ji, you really look good. I mean you always look good but you get it" Taehyung said. I blushed and Sofie smiled a bit. "Let's go dancing!" she said. I shook my head and she tried to get me to go along with her but I refused, she grabbed Taehyung and they went up to the dancefloor. I raised the cup to go up to my lips only to have a hand grabb the cup from me. I looked up to see Namjoon, he drank the Soju then smiled, "I didn't know that you were coming". I didn't get to answer, "Whatever, just don't drink" he continued. "You can't tell me what to do" I said. Namjoon scanned me, his eyes stopped at my legs for a second or two before they went back to my face. He was going to say something but at that moment Hyejin threw herself at Namjoon, "Joonie, why are you talking to the looser? Come dance with me!!" she said in an annoying tone. Namjoon didn't say anything to me but walked away with Hyejin clinging onto him.  After a while I joined Sofie and Taehyung on the dancefloor, it was actually fun. I didn't listen to Namjoon and drank quite alot during that party and so did Sofie. "Taeee, you are so cute!" I said when Taehyung started pulling Sofie and I towards the entrance.  "I have called a designated driver, we need to go home, you two are too drunk" Taehyung said.  Sofie looked at Taehyung and giggled, "Ji is right, you are so cute". "We are you taking Jihyun?" I heard his voice behind me, I turned around and Namjoon stood there looking down at me, he also seemed quite drunk. "Home" Taehyung said. "I don't trust you" Namjoon said. "Love triangle!!" Sofie said. 

We ended up bringing Namjoon along with us because he didn't trust Taehyung to get me home safe. Namjoon and I went into our apartment stumbling. I took my shoes of and went into our room as fast as I could, Namjoon followed me densly. Suddenly I felt myself being pushed backwards  onto the bed. My arms were pinned down on the bed and I felt Namjoon's breath. "Why the did you drink when I told you not to? And why is your dress so short?" he asked a bit breathy and out of it. I stared into his eyes, then my eyes shifted down to his lips. My heart started beating weirdly, I couldn't think striaght, I was too drunk to. He realesed my arms as he crashed his lips on mine. One of his hands wandered down to my waist and the other one to  the side of my thigh. I automaticaly opened my mouth letting Namjoon kiss me freely. I tasted the alcohol in his mouth and he mine. Namjoon squeezed my thigh as the kiss became more steamy. We kept on going for a while before Namjoon pulled away from me cursing and then crashed on the bed beside me.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw Namjoon's eyes looking at my lips, his eyes shifted upwards to my eyes. My heart was beating weirdly again. I hated this feeling because it was wrong, Namjoon made me suffer for years and now my heart was beating weirdly because he was looking at me. Namjoon moved closer to me and placed his hand on my cheek, I saw his face get closer to mine, but before his lips touched mine I pushed him away. "Sorry" Namjoon said. I hated the way his behaviorpattern changed. I hated that he was being nice to me. " you Namjoon". "You don't get to do this" I said angrily. "Besides I am dating Tae" I lied. I got out of the bed and noticed that I still was in yesterday's dress. "Even if you are lying, it hurts me" Namjoon said. "Like you didn't hurt me for years Namjoon". 

I went over to Sofie's place later to hang out with both her and Taehyung and also study a bit. I got there early and helped her bring forth the snacks. "So what's up with you and Tae?" she asked as we sat on her couch. "What do you mean what's up?" I asked. "Wait seriously? Like everyone in school says that you two are dating and he seems to be into you" Sofie said. "What?" I asked confused. The bell rang and Sofie went up to open the door for Taehyung. Sofie and Taehyung came over and sat on each side of the sofa as I was in the middle. "You got home safe yesterday?"  Taehyung asked. I nodded and Sofie grabbed a cookie. "By the way are any of you gonna explain who this Namjoon dude is?" Sofie asked looking at me and then at Namjoon. "He's my cousin, Jihyun's ex bully and now Jihyun's fiance" Taehyung said. I looked at him frowning, "what?? Sofie isn't going to tell anyone" he said giggling. I grabbed a can of coke as Taehyung updated Sofie about my life. "Interesting.... so you into Namjoon or what? I mean since you live together something must have happened?" Sofie asked. Taehyung didn't really like me did he? So telling them about yesterday wouldn't hurt him right? "Yeah, it's kinda weird. We kind of made out yesterday, but only because we were both drunk" I said a bit shy. "Would you do it again?" Sofie asked. I dared not to look at Taehyung, I looked down at my hands. "Would you?" Taehyung asked with a low voice.  "I hate myself for feeling this way but yes" I answered looking up. Sofie rubbed my back, "don't be so hard on yourself, I mean he stopped bullying you right? And he doesn't hurt you at home right? The heart wants what it wants". I looked at Sofie and she smiled at me, I then turned my head towards Taehyung, he furrowed his eyebrows, "what, are you waiting for me to approve or something?" he asked. I bit my lip a bit nervous, Taehyung gave me a fake smile, "I am not going to say anything about it" he siad. Sofie inhaled sharply, "let's study guys" she said trying to clear up the tense atmosphere.