Sinb ran to her dance studio as fast as she could and when she arrived, she proceeded to barged into the dance room. She took a moment to catch her breath but her eyes continued to scan the room looking for the desired person she ran here for. 

And there she stood, Choi Yuna. Sinb was relieved to see she was here or else her it meant that she ran here for nothing. Everyone else was busy doing their own thing, dancing and practicing to songs while it seems like Yuju was taking a break from hers.  

"Yah, Choi Yuna!" Sinb called still breathelessly. Yuju turned around with a sour look on her face while chugging down on her water bottle. "That's Choi Yuna-UNNIE for you, anyways what's up?" The older girl emphasized. 

"You know that girl you've been head over heels about?" Sinb popped the question, Yuju immediately nodded as a sign for Sinb to continue. "You said she was wearing black shorts and a white tee right?" Sinb asked once more and Yuju nodded once again.  

"Does she also happen to have red hair?"  

Yuju's eyes widen at the question and nodded. She doesn't remember telling Sinb that the girl did have her hair dyed in that dark shade of red. 

"Tch, that's the most important information and you didn't tell me?" Sinb scoffed and Yuju was speechless, she had a thought in mind but didn't know what to actually think. 

"You know my ...girlfriend... Yerin? She's her roommate" Sinb made sure to whisper the girlfriend part as she doesn't want everyone to hear that she has a girlfriend. As for Yuju, she gaped at Sinb's words. Is she dreaming? This was such news to her as she hasn't seen the girl other than their first meeting at that cafe. 

"But how do you know it's her?" Yuju questioned, still stunned. 

"Well, first because she has red hair. Second, her name is Sojung, does it ring any bells?" 

"Wow, this is- really- what a small world we live in"  

"But there's one thing I want to be honest with you about though..." Sinb's expression completely changed after she said her words. She really hopes that Yuju would understand the situation she was in. "What... Is she a actually a serial killer or something? Yuju questioned with a light hearted laugh.  

"Well, the truth is... I've slept with her before. I know, I have a girlfriend and it's a ed up thing to do. I'm ed up, I know. Basically, I got drunk one night and she was too so we happened to, you know. I hope this doesn't change your views on her though, it wasn't her fault and the air has been cleared between my girlfriend and I and her so it's all good between us" Sinb explained with her eyes darted to the floor. She wanted to be truthful to Yuju, to everyone at least. She also thought that she'd be doing a favor for Sowon because now she doesn't have to explain it to Yuju. 

"Ah... I mean, happens right? We all sleep around, I mean I don't but you get what I mean. Thanks for being honest though.  But hey! I can't believe you got her first before I did!" Yuju replied warmly. She knew how Sinb could be and she was glad that she was being honest with her. 

"Okay... So now what? Are you gonna ask her out?" Sinb chuckled and asked curiously but then Yuju frowned. "Does she even want to date me? I mean, she obviously likes girls but would she date me?"  

Sinb only sighed at her friend and wanted to smack herself (and Yuju) because of how oblivious she is. "You're done practicing right? Let's go" Sinb didn't even wait for Yuju to answer and instead dragged her out of the building. 

After that conversation that Sinb had with Sojung and Yerin, Sinb decided to prove if her gaydar was right or not. So she went up to Yuju and was completely honest with it. They're both also very comfortable with each other so Sinb knew this wouldn't be that big deal of a subject to touch on. To Sinb's surprise, she's completely spot on with her guess (well, gaydar) and Yuju admitted that she's biual. Sinb then told Yuju that she has a girlfriend and Yuju proceeded to tell her about a girl that she met at some cafe, and that girl turned out to be Sojung, the same Sojung that is Yerin's roomamate. 

-- 

Can someone tell me why I'm feeling this way? It's confusing. I can't get my mind to stop thinking no matter how hard I try. Why can't I stop it if it's my mind? I'm supposed to be controlling it but it's controlling me. It's taking over, again.  

I know I'm like this, I'm so well aware of it and yet, I can do nothing about it. It keeps happening. I would be living the best days of my life and then I just- it, would never let me continue to have those happy days.  

I yearn for happiness but I also wished that I wasn't alive. Is that too vague? I feel like it is.  

I know it's only just me who's feeling this way, at the moment at least. In my life, in my friend circle, in my family. I know someone else is going through the same thing, but I wish they wouldn't because it's a living hell. 

Have you ever woken up one day and immediately had the thought of taking your own life? That seems too dramatic doesn't it? But it's my reality and truth be told I wake up almost every single day feeling that way. 

In times like this, I try to think of what makes me happy the most. And in that case, it would be Sinb. Sinb makes me happy a lot.  

Of course, Sinb isn't the only thing that makes me happy, I'm not implying that her existence and me loving her (with her loving me back) is curing my depression, but whenever I'm feeling down, the thought of her calms me down. Just knowing that she's there for me helps a little bit. 

But I don't deserve her, I don't deserve anyone. Who would want to deal with the mess that I am? I for sure wouldn't, but again, for some reason Sinb does. I love her. 

I know one day that she'll leave me because I'm sure she'll get sick of me one way or another. That's why I treat her the way I do. I love clinging onto her, making her laugh, making her smile, telling her cheesy lines and cracking weird puns and have her glare at me. I'm being selfish, I'm cherishing the out of her because I know she'll leave me.  

Look at me, drowning in self-pity. It's funny, the wall above me seems so interesting at the moment. Those ugly spots are still here, when will they disappear?  

Will they disappear if I do too? 

Just then, I heard a door click open. "Hey babe... I brought someone with us..." I heard the familiar voice spoke softly and catiously. Sinb.  

I blinked a couple of times before getting up and rubbed my eyes. I look over to Sinb who smiled warmly at me but also had a questioning look on her face.  

She came over to me and held my both of my hands, running her thumb against the back of them. "You okay? Something on your mind?" She asked softly, and I nodded. But she got the message that I didn't want to talk about it at the moment and only leaned down to peck my lips. "We'll talk about it later okay, anyways, this is Yuju"  

I look over to the stranger and she smiled at me with a bow. I got up and introduced myself and bowed back. "So this is the Yuju Sojung has been so crazy about?" I teased. Yuju's eyes widen at my comment and Sinb only smirked while nodding. 

"Well, bad luck you have Yuju. Well, at least for the moment. She's out getting us dinner" 

"Oh... Then it must be an inconvenience for me to be here" Yuju said with a worried expression on her face, the red tint on her cheeks were also visible. I chuckled at her statement while Sinb replied to her. "Unnie, just stay. Please"  

"Did you just call me unnie?" Yuju questioned Sinb. I turn to my girlfriend with a cheeky smile. "Why? Does she not call you unnie? Is she misbehaving?" Now I'm questioning Sinb. A panicked expression can be seen on Sinb's face and it's too cute. She opened to answer but Yuju beat her to it.  

"She calls me names, raises her voice and even hits me sometimes! Can you believe your Sinb is like that? Yerin unnie?"  

My mouth opens wide and I fake my surprised face as fake as I could. "Is that true, Sinb?" I ask sternly and Sinb looks at the floor but her head shoots up back up after a second. "Hey! I don't hit you! That's a lie!"  

"So everything else was true then?"  

"Yennie, I can explain. She's so mean to me sometimes and I-" Sinb's unneeded explaination was cut off but the door clicking open by no other than Sojung. 

"I got us chinese food I hope that's okay fo-" 

Silence filled the room as the door clicking close behind Sojung was heard. Sojung was left at a lost of words, it looks like.  

After about 5 minutes of silence, and to be honest I don't know why Sinb and I were silent as well, but Sojung finally spoke after intently staring at Yuju like she wanted to eat her. (If you know what I mean) 

"Yuna..." 
"Sojung... it's really you..." Yuna replied. 'My name is still pretty when you say it" she continued.  

"These two are worse than I am" I whispered to Sinb and she snickered by my side. 

"Um... I only bought enough for three- I didn't know you were coming over..." Sojung looked down to our dinner. "It's okay, I'm not going to eat. Yuju you can have my meal" I interject and Sinb looked at me with concern in her eyes. She knows I rarely reject food. I smile warmly at her to assure her that I'm fine, am I? 

"Are you sure? You must be starving though? It's okay, I'm disturbing everyone aren't I- I should get goi-" Yuju asked but gets cut off by Sinb. "Yuju, just eat with us"  

And Yuju implied. 

-- 

hi everyone! i hope you're all having a good day/night so far. it's currely 4:31 AM for me and i dont feel to great. so what do you do when u're having unstoppable thoughts going through your mind? you write, of course! this is why i love writing, i love putting my thoughts into words, as depressing as they might be. 

i hope you all enjoyed this chapter though! sorry for the cliffhanger though, hehe. but i think i'll update soon so dont worry! (dont take my word for it though ksjdsj) 

anyway, thank you again for the lovely comments! they're always welcome. :) and thank you for reading, again have a nice day !!