“Well this is definitely some sort of greeting.” Youngjae gently grabbed the end of the glock and aimed it away from himself. The idea of a gun being pointed on his chest made him a bit antsy.

Your shoulders relaxed as you moved the gun down to your side. “Oh, Youngjae! I didn’t expect to see you!” You flashed him a smile.

Youngjae’s eyebrows furrowed. He was unnerved by this smile of yours. It was so fake. So rehearsed. It terrified him a bit. This poker face you were trying to present. He would rather you flash all your cards out before him. No bluffs. He would rather see you broken and crying than this. Plastic. Fake. Bleeding on the inside, but refusing to let it show. He scratched the back of his head, deciding to examine the situation a bit further before saying or doing anything further.

“I just wanted to check how you were…” Youngjae glanced over your shoulder to see the pile of shattered glass that decorated your floor. He raised a curious brow. He was right. You weren’t okay. You weren’t all smiles.

“I just dropped a glass! I can be clumsy sometimes,” You let out small chuckle, standing in front of his line of sight to hide the disarray. “I’m really fine, though. Why wouldn’t I be now that you’re here.” You winked at him.

Youngjae didn’t falter. Usually when you were flirty and seductive he could feel his gentlemanly facade crumble. But this fake image you were putting up. This forced affection. It reminded him of the women he met at the strip clubs or bars. It didn’t faze him in the least. “I’m sure you are, but I thought I would check anyway. Can I come in?” He raised a curious brow.

You stiffened at his request. How long could you keep your poker face? The thought resonated within your mind. How long could you pretend to be okay? To act as if nothing happened. You didn’t know. You wanted to pretend what happened to you never happened. Bury it in the back of your mind. Act as if it never existed. Never happened. Your mind was beginning to accept. Accept the fantasy. The ignorance you were creating.

“Are you sure you want to come in? I’m pretty dangerous, you know.” You leaned in closer, placing your hands on his chest. To your inner shock, he didn’t falter like he usually did. You didn’t see the crack in his wall.

“How can I abandon my good luck charm?” He flashed you a polite smile before gently moving your figure aside so he could enter your apartment.

“What do you want to drink? Vodka? Whisky? Brandy?” You placed the glock on your living room coffee table as you sauntered towards your kitchen.

“Just a coffee.” He mentioned nonchalantly, examining the living room and finding an object of interest.

“Aw, how boring. And I thought you liked the thrill of the unexpected.” You teased, peeking your head out of the kitchen before going off to make his drink.

Youngjae scoffed, ignoring your words as he picked up the photo frame that hid under the coffee table. He stared at the picture. His eyebrows furrowed once more. So this was what you looked like when you were truly happy. When you truly smiled. Not the poker face he was seeing. Not this act you two were playing. He glanced at the man next to you in the photo. The one holding you tight. Laughing with you. Perhaps he was your lucky charm…If so, where was he now?

“Here’s your coffee.” You entered the living room with the ceramic mug in hand.

“You looked really happy? Good fortune fall upon you?” Youngjae flashed you a sad smile as he continued to stare at the picture.

“That was the past….” You quickly snatched the photo from his hands. His eyes went wide for a moment at your sudden action, but he saw it. He saw the crack in your mask. Now he just had to chip it away.

“You were cute back then.” He smirked as he plopped down on your couch, taking the mug from your hands.

“And I’m not now?” You scoffed, taking the seat beside him and placing the photo face down on the coffee table.

“No, now…now you just look broken.” Your entire body tensed up at his words. You couldn’t do anything but once again flash your rehearsed smile and feign ignorance. It was the only thing you could do. It was the only thing your body allowed you to do.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am perfectly fine.” You looked like a robot. A well oiled machine that only showed one emotion. Youngjae gritted his teeth. His patience wearing thin. Seeing you like this. It was too odd. Too terrifying. Too fake.

“Bad luck falls on all of us. Even for Lady Luck, herself…” He let out a sigh, taking a sip of his coffee before placing it down on the coffee table. “What happened to you…it was terrible. It was unfortunate and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. So you don’t need to act like this.” He hoped his words reached you. He wasn’t as wise like Yongguk, nor eloquent with the ladies as Daehyun or Himchan. But he cared. Despite the strong, gentlemanly facade he liked to keep. The cocky smug smirk he loved to show. His heart was weak, soft. No matter how many times he would try to deny it, it was there. And thought he would hide this side from the rest of s, he felt that maybe he could show that side to you. You were different. You were real so seeing you like this. Trying so hard to be fake. It hurt him.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about Youngjae…” You smiled at him, blinking at him a few times. You were too deep into denial. Too deep to want to crawl out. Rather you wanted to drown in this denial. Live in it. Youngjae trying to pull you out of it. You were scared. Scared that he could do it.

“Okay then…” He let out a sigh, hanging his head for a bit. “Let’s make a bet, okay?” He pulled a stack of cards out of his coat pocket. “A simple game of Blackjack. If I win….I want you to stop lying to me….stop lying to yourself…” He shuffled the cards in his hands before dealing them.

“And what do I get if I win?” You cocked a brow. Curious as to see how this was going. A part of you feared the possible results. If you lost. Then you had to crawl out of the bliss of ignorance. Or you could continue to lie and say that you were fine….but despite the brokenness you felt, you still had a sense of honor. A bet was a bet.

“Anything you want,” Youngjae let out a small chuckle then flashing you a cocky smirk. “Even if you want me to kidnap the Queen of England, I’d do it for you.” Leaning back against the sofa, not even looking at his cards.

“Well aren’t you confident,” You scoffed as you checked your cards. Ace and 5. This could go one of two ways. You were in favor of the odds you may obtain. “Fine then if I win, I want to wipe that smug grin on your face. Hmmm,” You tapped your chin in contemplation of of what actions you should make him do. “How about get on your knees and admit defeat? Humiliating enough.”

Youngjae shrugged. “I’m pretty sure I could do a lot more….exhilarating things for you while I’m on my knees,” Youngjae shuffled the cards one more time. “Hit you?”

“Hit me,” You eyed Youngjae as he gave you another card. “Are you not going to look at your cards?”

“I’m just going to see what fate has in store for me,” He placed the stack of cards aside. “If I’m unlucky then I’m unlucky. It was out of my power. Out of my control.” He eyed you. Stared into yours. You knew that those words were not directed at your card game, but rather you. Your facade. Your mask.

“Well don’t complain if you lose to me then.” You smirked, flipping your cards over. “20.”

“21.” He smirked as he flipped his own cards, revealing an Ace and a Queen of Hearts. Your eyes went wide for a moment. But a corner of something sneaking out of Youngjae’s sleeve caused you to glare.

“You cheated.” You growled as you attempted to reach out and grab Youngjae’s wrist to reveal his ruse.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” He smiled you simply, feigning innocence.

“Don’t test me, Youngjae,” You glared as you pounced on him, laying on top of him to block his resistance. You quickly grabbed his hand and ripped the card that hid under his sleeve. A 7 of spades. “You cheated.”

“You’re cheating yourself,” You felt Youngjae grip your waist as your attempted to sprawl off him. “This pretend that you’re playing. You need to wake up.”

You stopped your resistance and went limp in his arms. You just felt so tired. So exhausted. Living in bliss and ignorance. It was so…tiring. “I can’t wake up….If I do…If I wake up….” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “I have to accept it. Accept that I’m dirty. That I was touched by that….thing.” You growled.

“And you would rather live in ignorance? Act as if nothing happened?” He lifted your face so that you were facing him. “You were assaulted. Nearly . These are facts. Pretending they never happened doesn’t make it go away,” Despite Youngjae’s harsh words, his eyes were so soft. So vulnerable. You wanted to look away, refuse to see his vulnerability. The moment you did, you knew that you had to accept the reality you were running away from. “Please….don’t fall into a fall sense of happiness….” His eyes began to water.

You could feel heated tears begin to well up into your tears. You were too weak to accept reality. But Youngjae. Youngjae was going to take it for you. If you weren’t going to let yourself cry. He would do it for you. He was sad for you. Scared for you. Hurt for you. You felt pathetic. How could you be such an idiot? You knew better. But yet. Yet you decided to take the easy way out. Pretend nothing happened.

“I was weak…I fell for a petty trap…” You gripped onto his shirt, tightening it into a small ball. “I was an idiot…I almost got you guys killed….”

“And as you can see I am well alive,” He smirked, his eyes still red from the possible tears that threatened to fall. “What happened. None of it was your fault. You have to understand that. Reality…it’s a ,” He gently caressed the tears that rested on your cheeks. “But hey, you’re alive. I’m alive. The goddess of luck was definitely on our side today.” He smiled.

“Youngjae…Thank you.” You smiled at him, releasing the tension your entire body felt.

“A thank you? Wow, I didn’t think that I would hear one of those.” He snickered, causing you to roll your eyes.

“You just ruined a perfectly good moment. How about we play another round of Blackjack so I could rub that smirk off your face.” You raised an eyebrow. Youngjae couldn’t help but let out a burst of laughter. His adorable cheeks appearing before you. The both of you bursting out into laughter.

Once the laughter died down, the two of you found each other staring at each other. Youngjae began to fidget a bit under your gaze. Now that your facade was gone. Your mask torn away and the real you was back. Well that uncomfortableness he felt returned. The cracks in his persona returning. You leaned down a bit. You didn’t know why. You didn’t know if you were even thinking in that moment. All your mental senses were gone as soon as your lips touched his. The motion was a slight graze, but it sent a spark in both of you. You wanted more of that spark. You were curious. Fascinated. You pressed your lips against him roughly, causing Youngjae to grip your waist tighter. He wanted to internally jump for joy. Throw a mini party in his brain.

The kiss was sweet. Almost fairytale like. Something you see out a movie. You enjoyed it, but you wanted to . The fairytale wasn’t enough for you. Your hands trailed up to his neck, tracing his pulse line, sending a shiver throughout his body. You could feel Youngjae’s hand give you a small pinch on your side, causing you to jump a bit. You could feel him smirk against the kiss. He didn’t like how you were trying to dominate the kiss. This was a game of push of pull and he was competitive as hell. He wanted to win. You ran your fingers through his soft hair, pressing your hips against him as you deepened the kiss. You weren’t an easy opponent. You wanted to win as much as he did. You could hear him groan slightly and become more aggressive with the kiss, placing his hand on the back of your head and pushing you closer to him.

The both of you parted slightly, allowing for small gasps of air. You looked into his eyes, both his and your breathes short. Slowly the fogs of emotions and lust dissipated. Rationality began to sink in…for the both of you. “Oh my God….” You sprawled off Youngjae, him backing up closer into the sofa. “What the hell did we just do….” Your voice was merely a murmur.

“Y/N….” He scratched his head vigorously. He didn’t regret kissing you. Sharing this moment with you. He regretted the timing and the circumstance.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae…” You couldn’t face him. You had screwed yourself over. You were in a weak emotional state. You knew that….but you went for it anyways. You went for it knowing what the situation may be interpreted as.

“I’m sorry too…” Youngjae sighed. “You should rest…” He got from the couch and headed towards the door. “I’ll see you later?” He felt so unsure about himself. About what happened. He gave you a half smile before exiting your apartment.

“Yeah…” You replied to silence, letting out a loud groan before burying your face in your hands. “F*************CK.”

Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback are much appreciated!