“What do you think they’re talking about?” Mari peered her head over the crowd of guest to get a better view of her husband and Himchan.

“I really have no clue, Mari.” You silently sipped your tea as you watched Mari teeter back and forth and squint her eyes.

“You can’t tell me you’re not curious, Y/N!” Mari pouted at your indifference before waddling over to the kettle to refill your cup of tea.

You sighed for a moment. It would be an obvious lie to say that you weren’t a bit curious about what Himchan and Vincent were talking about. How did the two of them know each other? Why did Vincent call Himchan ‘Little Boss?’ You thought that BAP was the only gang Himchan was affiliated with. So many question, but you knew not to pry. If Himchan wanted to tell you about his past then he will, if not then you didn’t want to know. Both of you had a past, both of you had secrets. It wasn’t your place to snoop into his when you denied him yours. You glanced over to see Himchan with the softest grin you had ever seen on his face before both men stood up and gave each other a quick hug.

“Looks like they’re done talking.” You smiled at Mari who simply jumped from her spot towards Vincent.

“So what were two boys talking about???” Mari looked up at Vincent eager for answers.

“That’s a secret, dear.” Vincent chuckled before ruffling Mari’s head, which caused her to playfully glare at him.

“There are no secrets in marriage,” She let out a huff before scurrying off. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it out of him then I’ll give you the 411.” She whispered in your ear, causing you to giggle at her silly shenanigans.

“Sorry for the wait.” Himchan flashed you an apologetic smile.

“It’s fine, me and Mari just had some girl time.” You grinned before removing yourself from the seat on the stool.

“What did you girls talk about?” Vincent chuckled as he watched how Himchan helped place your coat on you.

“IT’S A SECRET!” You couldn’t help but let out a burst of laughter as you heard Mari shout for the backroom. Himchan chuckled as well while Vincent simply let out a huff of air and shrugged.

“My wife,” He chuckled and shrugged before he turned his attention back to Himchan. “Have you visited Boss lately, Himchan?”

Himchan’s eyes softened, but not in a loving way. You recognized that look. It was a sadness, remorsefulness, melancholy. All wrapped up with a hint of endearment. “It’s his anniversary soon, isn’t it…” Himchan flashed Vincent a small smile before patting him on the shoulder. “It was nice seeing you, Vince.”

“Right back at you, Himchan,” He ruffled Himchan’s head. “You better stop by and visit more often. When I heard that there was a Himchan running around with a big shot gang called BAP I thought it was someone else. Who would have thought that our little boss became a boss.”

“I did.” Himchan smirked, causing Vincent to roll his eyes. 

“Arrogant as ever. Anyways, I’ll see you around, Himchan.” Vincent gave Himchan one more quick hug before attending to his wife.

“You probably have some questions.” Himchan glanced at you as the two of you walked down the sidewalk.

“Questions, yes. But I’m not going to ask,” You smiled at him, assuring him that you weren’t upset. “Our lives are based on secrets Himchan. If you want me to know about your past, you’ll tell me. If you don’t, then that’s fine.” You shrugged.

“That’s unexpected.” Himchan scoffed.

“And why is that?” You cocked a brow.

“You usually like to stick your nose in other people’s business.” He teased as he put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close.

“That’s only when I care about them.” You countered, causing Himchan to mock glare at you.

“Ouch. That hurts, Adenium,” He paused his step, quickly turning to you and tilted your chin up. “That poisonous little mouth of yours will get you in trouble.”

You smiled innocently at him before giving him a quick peck on the lips. “I like danger.” You smiled sweetly before you continued walking. Himchan let out a mock huff of air before shaking his head in shock. You really liked getting the last word.

“You will never let me win will you.” Himchan came up beside you before shaking his head in dismay.

“No, but I’ll at least let you try.” You playfully patted his cheek.

“Thanks,” He rolled his eyes. “Well then will you do me the honors of going to place I want to head to now?”

“If it’s a bedroom or hotel then I’ll take a raincheck.” You smirked at him as he let out a mock sigh.

“Didn’t hurt to ask right?” He flashed you his signature cocky smirk before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “But seriously, can I take you somewhere? Promise you there won’t be a bed in sight,” You raised a brow at his words. “And no I do not intend to take you on the floor or bathroom stall. Do you know how damn hard it was for me to finally be with you? I ain’t in that up.”

“Haha, I guess I’ll trust your words then, Mr. Kim Himchan,” You playfully pinched his cheek. “You are a hardworking mother of 5.”

“Haha.” He rolled his eyes before pecking your cheek.

“I didn’t know gardens were your schtick,” You chuckled as you took in the beautiful Japanese garden scenery that wrapped the two of you. “I’m actually more surprised that you got us in here.”

Himchan had drove the both of you to the Upper side of town. The bougie side. The wealthy. The pampered. The spoiled. Where food was in abundance, children could live there lives without worrying about being sold or selling, where ignorance brought bliss. They would never know of the world outside their bubble. That is as long as they stayed in that bubble.

“I have my ways,” He confidently smirked, proud that he managed to get past the border patrol without a hair going awry. “After all, I’m Kim Himchan.”

“More like a diva to me,” You bursted out into laughter as Himchan did a mock hairflip. A true diva. “But seriously, why take us all the way here?” You glanced around to see the stares the two of you received. After all Himchan was wearing nearly all black attire with some silver jewelry to accent his attire. And you? You were in a slightly revealing deep blue dress with a high slit, most of it covered by the long coat you were wearing. The two of you obviously did not fit in with this crowd.

“My father used to take me here…” Himchan’s expression softened, his eyes staring off into the distance. As if he was reliving that times he spent with his father all over again. “Not my biological father…but my father nonetheless…” He let out a small sad chuckle.

“Himchan…” You gently squeezed his hand, assuring him that he was not obligated to tell you anything. That he had every right to keep you in the dark about his past. Himchan simply smiled down at you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Vincent was part of the gang that my biological father was in…” Himchan gently swung his arm with both his and your fingers intertwined, both of your arms swaying. “My biological father wasn’t too happy with my existence…”

“What the am I supposed to do with this!?” Himchan’s father fumed as the he knocked up appeared in front of him, a little 6 year old Himchan, clinging to his mother’s leg.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want him!? You’re lucky I’ve even raised your spawn for 6 years I want some compensation!” She harshly spat back at him before taking a long drag of her cigarette. “He’s bad for business so take him.” She harshly grabbed Himchan’s wrist, attempting to pry him off her leg, but Himchan refused.

“I don’t want him! Take him to some orphanage or something!? As you can in tell this ain’t no child services center.” Himchan’s father growled, glaring down at the spawn of his.

“We’ll take him in,” Himchan’s father jumped at the sound of the booming voice coming behind him. “He’ll fit right in, right Woo-jin?”

“Y-yes, Boss….” Woo-jin’s harsh voice now became as soft as sheep’s wool. “Come with me, kid.” He harshly tugged on Himchan’s arm, causing the small boy to wail.

“Now now, everything will be alright,” The intimidating man came before Himchan, crouching down so that the two of them were at eye level. “We’ll take you to your new home…” The man paused, allowing Himchan to fill in the blank.

“Himchan…” Himchan’s voice was barely above the whisper, but the man heard him loud and clear, ruffling the boys head.

“Himchan. That’s a great name.”

“He treated me like a human being,” Himchan couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. “The leader of the infamous Shi Okami treated me better than my own flesh and blood…”

You stayed silent, soaking in every word that left Himchan’s mouth. You remembered hearing about the Shi Okami when you were younger. Your mother always admired the sense of honor and pride that they had, how they had a moral code despite being gangsters. Owning large properties across town, but never taking from those who had little. Traded in blackmarket jewelry and guns, but would destroy any gangs that would even attempt child trafficking or ion on their watch. A gang with a high sense of moral code. That all being thanks to the leader of the gang. Tenzou Mamoru. He was always willing to help the down in luck, the broken, but was always ready to swiftly punish those that strayed from the rules and orders he maintained.

“My biological father wanted nothing to do with me so Tenzou took me in,” He ran his fingers through his dark locks. “Taught me the tricks of the trade. Helped me to grow. To love others and myself.”

“Himchan…” Tenzou chuckled as he watched the young man stare hard at the Go board in front of him. “Himchan!”

“Y-yes boss!” Himchan jumped as he was pulled out of his contemplation.

“I’ve been thinking…” Tenzou moved a Go peice nonchalantly then his well groomed beard.

“That’s not good.” Himchan teased, causing him to get a joking punch in the head by the elder.

“You cheeky brat. I’m trying to be serious,” Tenzou sighed but a bright smile still plastered itself on the elder, grayed man’s lips. “I want you to take care of the Shi Okami in case  anything happens to me.”

Himchan froze. He could feel his heart stop at the words that were spilling out of his mouth. “I can’t do that!”

“Himchan. You are a bright boy, brighter than a bunch of the lugnuts I have around here,” Tenzou chuckled. “And most importantly you have heart. I don’t have any children of my own, Himchan, and I’ve thought of you as my son the moment I brought you into this life. I want you to lead this gang to the future.”

“I don’t know what to say….” Himchan felt like he was in a dream. Like he was watching everything from a different perspective. An out of body experience.

“Say yes….” Tenzou smiled before moving another piece and leaned back. “And that you owe me a round of drinks, boy.” Tenzou chuckled as he showed Himchan that he had won during Himchan’s out of body experience.

“I couldn’t believe it myself….An unwanted child of a grunt now becoming a the heir to one of the largest gangs in the city,” Himchan smiled brightly. “It was unbelievable…I felt like I had the whole world in my hands…then I didn’t.” Himchan’s face darkened.

“Tenzou! Tenzou!” Himchan screamed in horror as he watched his home engulfed in flames. He should have known this was going happen. Tenzou had been acting strange lately. He had a bad feeling, but it was too late. He was too late.

Himchan ran into the burning building, running past the bodies of his former comrades and the remains of the rival gang the VIVIVI. In this one moment he didn’t care that his body was getting scorched. That he may not survive this stunt. He wanted to find Tenzou. His father.

Himchan ran all the way to the backroom of the large estate only to find Tenzou lying on the floor, blood gushing from his abdomen.

“You cheeky brat, did you finish the mission I sent you on,” A bloody playful smirk decorated Tenzou’s lips. “You never listen do you?”

“Tenzou! Why? Why didn’t you tell me!? You knew this would happen!” Himchan could feel hot tears fall down his cheek as he knelt down next to the man he considered a father. “I need to get you to a hospital! I need to get you out of here!”  

“I’m tired, Himchan. Just let me rest. I’m getting to that age where I just want to drink tea and watch the clouds.” Tenzou chuckled before coughing up some blood.

“No you can’t! Tenzou, you can’t!” Himchan began to beg. To anyone. To God. Let this man live.

“Hey who’s the boss here?” He grinned, gently gripping Himchan’s shoulder. “While I’m still breathing I’m still the boss,” He hissed as he turned his body slightly to get a better view of Himchan. “And my last order as boss if for you to get the hell out of here. Find your own happiness.”

“I couldn’t fulfill his last wish…” Himchan squeezed your hand tightly. “Vincent came in and scooped me out of that building as fast as humanly possible,” Himchan took a deep breath. “I lost everything in that one night….I felt so empty so lifeless….” You looked up to see Himchan’s moroseful and melancholy expression now twist into hatred and anger. Murderous. “Till I found out what had actually happened.”

“Wait…what do you mean…” Himchan stared down at one the VIVIVI grunts that Himchan had beaten up thoroughly.

“O-One of your boys snitched…Gave us the detailed plans to the land, even where all the ammunition was stored…” The grunt whimpered as Himchan grounded his heel further into the man’s abdomen. 

“Name. NOW!” Himchan growled. He could feel his anger boiling over. A man from his own gang! A man that Tenzou considered family betrayed him!!!

“Wack-in? Wale-joo? Woo-jin! That’s his name!” The grunt squeaked. Himchan’s felt the color drained from his face as the pressure on his foot lightened enough for the grunt to scurry away from under him. Himchan couldn’t believe the words that left the grunts mouth. Or he didn’t want to believe it. Himchan leaned back against the wall, his hand covering his face as hot heavy, angry tears streamed down his cheeks, countering the maniacal laughter that left his lips. His own father. Betrayed his family. Betrayed him.

“That’s when I recruited the boys….” Himchan’s eyes softened. He turned his attention to you and gently tugged your hand. “Come here for a sec,” Himchan lead you towards another part of the gardens where a large shrub of adenium bloom. “This was always the last spot Tenzou took me.”

“Do you know what these are Himchan?” Tenzou raised a brow as the little boy shook his head vigorously. “They’re called Adeniums.”

“Abidmemums?” The child attempted to pronounce, but ultimately butchered.

“Close enough,” Tenzou chuckled before picking up the small child. “They’re beautiful aren’t they?” Himchan nodded his head in approval. “Ah! But don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” He gently poked Himchan’s nose. “They’re beautiful, but they’re also dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Himchan cocked his head to the side, confused on how something so pretty could be dangerous.

“Yes, very dangerous,” Tenzou noted. “You see Himchan, in this world many things can seem perfect on the outside. Happy, beautiful, otherworldly….” Tenzou smiled as he noticed how Himchan was slowly getting lost at his explanation. “Behind perfection is poison. You must be aware of that Himchan. And as there is always poison behind perfection, there is always perfection behind poison,” Himchan stared at the man, completely lost. “Haha, maybe you’ll get it once you’re older.”

“I dragged these boys into this life, Y/N…” Himchan sighed. The weight of his mind slowly dissipating as he spoke to you. “They could have all had a happy life without me. Maybe a family. But I had to drag them into my game of revenge.”

“That the last of them?” Himchan growled, wiping the blood from his cheek. It took him two years, but he finally got his revenge.

“That’s the last of them.” Yongguk noted as he kicked aside the body of one of the VIVIVI.

“There is this guy though, he kept blabbering about being your dad.” Youngjae tossed an elderly man in front of Himchan. He knew the moment he saw the man’s pathetic eyes that it was his father.

“Son!” The man whimpered. Himchan shot a glance at Yongguk, signalling the others to leave the room.

“Okay guys, let’s give these two a minute.” Yongguk herded the boys out of the VIVIVI hideout.

“Son?” Himchan sneered. “When was I ever you’re son?”

“I-I know I wasn’t the best father to you….I made mistakes in my past…” The man stuttered trying everything in his power to keep himself alive.

“Mistakes!?” Himchan boomed. “Mistakes like betraying the gang!? Betraying Tenzou!?’ Himchan growled.

“I-I was doing it for you, s-son! Tenzou was going to make you heir, so to make that process faster I got rid of him and all that opposed you!” The man pleaded, thinking that this may have saved him.

“I never asked to be heir…” Himchan murmured, smacking the man with the of his gun, rendering him unconscious. Himchan stared down at his father’s body. To kill the bastard. Or to let him live and rot in a cell. Memories of the past flooded into Himchan’s mind as he cocked the gun, aiming the barrel at the top of his father’s head. His fingers trembled on the trigger. Two sides of his mind pulling in opposite directions.

“I couldn’t pull the trigger,” Himchan clenched his fist, his hands beginning to tremble. “As much as I hated the man I couldn’t do it….” Himchan sighed, turning so that he could face you. “I dragged these 5 boys into my hellish game of revenge and I couldn’t even complete it. Y/N…” He gently cupped your cheek. “I may call you an Adenium….but the real Adenium is me…” He rested his forehead against yours. “I may seem like I have everything together. That I can rule the world. That I can handle any situation, but I can’t Y/N. I’m scared. Terrified. Did I make the right decision? Did I ruin those boys lives? Did I ruin your life? Can I protect you from my selfish decisions?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “And the honest truth is that I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to know…” You spoke up, gently cupping Himchan’s cheek. “What’s happened until now. It’s not your fault Himchan,” You lifted his face so that you could look into his deep brown eyes. “This life is filled with so many twist in turns that we don’t know where we’ll end up. The choices we make may not be the best ones but they’re ones we made nonetheless. You made the decision to recruit the boys, the boys made the decision to accept it. You made the decision to bring me into your life and I made the decision to accept the invitation. Am I scared? Hell yes. Is that going to stop me from caring for you, the boys, and the rest of my family? No. We don’t have to know the answers to the what ifs or the maybes. We just have to know that when they do come up, we won’t fall from them.”

Himchan looked down at you, a soft, angelic smile spread across his face. Not a smirk. Not a coy grin. A loving, endearing smile. “Thank you. For everything. For you.” He pulled you into a tight embrace, snuggling into the crook of your neck as you wrapped your arms around him. Warm tears resting on your shoulder as the Adeniums glistened under the sunlight.

Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback are much appreciated!!