The next few days were living hell for Kyuhyun. He resumed his activities with the other members. The fans were overjoyed to see him back on stage again. Everywhere he went, people cheered him on. He would smile at them politely and thank them, and he sincerely felt touched in his heart. But as kind as those gestures were, Kyuhyun wished they would just stop it.

Everytime someone came to him and asked him how he was, it was like a stab to his heart. It reminded him of what had happened, it reminded him of the hole in his heart. To make things worse, he had to smile and reassure them that he is all right - which he is not. Those moments were energy draining - making the already tired him even more exhausted.

The time spent alone in his room was the worst. He could barely sleep, tossing and turning in his bed. Often, he would fall asleep and wake up moments later to find himself in cold sweat - from the endless nightmares. He could find no joy, even when playing his favourite computer game.

"Not asleep yet?" Leeteuk asked in surprise as Kyuhyun came out of his room.

"Neither are you, hyung."

Leeteuk smiled, "I am watching videos of our performances from earlier on."

Kyuhyun nodded, "That's very nice of you hyung. Always working hard to perfect the team."

"It's nothing. I enjoy doing it. Wanna join me?"Leeteuk patted the seat beside him.

"I am about to head out for a run actually." Kyuhyun said, pointing to the towel he had around his neck.

"At this time?" Leeteuk asked, surprised, "It's 2am, Kyu."

"I know. But I am not tired yet, and I need to exercise more, it will help my singing." Kyuhyun explained as he walked towards the door.

"But..."Leeteuk trailed off, wanting to say something, but decided against it, "all right. But keep it short, and be careful."

Kyuhyun nodded, "Sleep early hyung."

Leeteuk sighed as Kyuhyun closed the door behind him. He wondered why anyone would believe that Kyuhyun is all right. He obviously is not. The maknae had lost weight within the last few weeks, he ate minimum, and the dark circles and eyebags indicated his lack of sleep. Everytime he looked at Kyuhyun, his heart ached. As much as he treasured all s, Kyuhyun holds a special place in his heart. Maybe because he was the youngest, or maybe because he was such a closed up person, Leeteuk was not sure, but he always felt the need to take care of this precious brother.

Kyuhyun ran with all his might. He was not sure where he was running to, he just ran. Maybe if he ran fast enough, his troubles would not be able to catch up with him anymore. With every breath he took, he felt as if freedom was nearer. The fresh breath of air that fills his lungs gave him a unexplainable satisfaction. It was as if nothing else matters. It was just him, and the wind. That's all.

It felt so good, so so good.

He did not know exactly how long he ran but he eventually came back to the familiar front door. It was only when he stopped did he realise how tired he was. His legs were aching, and trembling slightly, sweats were dripping down his forehead profusely. His shirt was drenched, and he was completely out of breath.

He reached for the doorknob and stumbled into the living room, surprised that the lights were still on.

"You're finally back!" A warm, familiar voice called out.

Kyuhyun turned to see Leeteuk walking towards him, "You're still awake, hyung."

"I was waiting for you. Did you know you ran for 2 hours?" Leeteuk reprimanded, although he was feeling more relief then anger "Are you crazy? You still need the energy for the performance tomorrow."

Kyuhyun lowered his head, not daring to look at the leader in the eyes, "Sorry, hyung... I lost track."

Leeteuk sighed, "Go change out of your clothes and get some rest. You only have 2 hours of sleep left."

Kyuhyun nodded and headed to his room. He changed to a new set of clothes with difficulties, both his arms and legs were aching. As he lied down on the bed and closed his eyes, the familiar feeling came back again. He felt so tired, but yet his mind was so awake. It seems that it was another sleepless night.

He was tossing and turning in his bed when he heard a soft knock and the opening of the door. He looked up to see Leeteuk standing by the door, holding on to a blanket.

"I got you an extra blanket. Keep yourself warm, I don't want you falling sick." Leeteuk said as he placed the blanket over Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun looked on, his heart genuinely touched by the gesture. Leeteuk always made him feel loved and cared for. He was really grateful that he had such a wonderful hyung with him all these years.

"Go to sleep." Leeteuk smiled as he ruffled Kyuhyun's hair before leaving the room.

Kyuhyun sat up on his head after Leeteuk left. Maybe Leeteuk should not be so nice to him. All the nice people will leave eventually. Just like his mum... and his brother... and his grandfather. All of them left. Tears welled up in his eyes as he thought of those wonderful people whom his life have once circled around. But there was nothing left now, except for the emptiness in his heart. The members will leave him one day, just like all of them did. Leeteuk will leave him one day.

"And you will be all alone again." Kyuhyun muttered.

His hands reached to open the drawer next to the bed and he pulled out a small pocket knife that he has once kept there in case he need to remove the price tags on his clothes, or when he needed to open letters from his fans, yet not wanting to destroy the envelopes.

Perhaps, the knife can serve more purposes then these.

He pulled down his pants slightly, revealing his thighs. He gently dragged the blade across his right thigh. He grimaced slightly. It hurts. And then small amount of blood started to flow out of the wound. And oh... It felt so good. Watching the blood ooze out. It was as if the pain and troubles that he have been bottling inside of him were all oozing out as well.

He tightened the knife in his hand, and continued the act.

--

Abit of Kyuteuk coming out. haha. Leave some comments my wonderful readers~