Note from the author: To save confusion, everything said in ENGLISH will be in BOLD font.

Saeng-il chukhahamnida.  Saeng-il chukhahamnida.  Saranghaneun seonsaengnim.  Seang-il chukhahamnida.

The children in your class surround you and sing happily, their faces beaming and full of life.  As a huge handmade card is put in your hand, you feel your eyes well up.

“Thank you everyone”, you smile whilst willing yourself not to cry, “This is perfect”.

The last three months have passed in a blur.  Minhye went back to England without even meeting her future husband, school had started up again, soon followed by Ch’usok festivities with the girls at the end of September, an obsession with Tokyo Ghoul had been formed and far too much black nail varnish had been worn due to it.  You haven’t seen any members of EXO in what feels like forever, and you’ve only received a couple of texts.  Over night their popularity increased massively and since then they’ve been on tour around Asia.

It is October 17th.  Your birthday.

“Jaaaaaaaeeeeee!”, a familiar and welcome voice calls from the doorway, “Ready to have some fun?”

“Hi, Yunghee”, you smile as you watch your class leave for the weekend, “You know it!  Where to?”

“We’re meeting Serah at yours now, then Jiyun and Eunseo will join us after work”.

“So”, you shoot her a mischievous look, “Bubble tea?”

Yunghee smirks and wiggles her eyebrows before responding: “Well, I do need to see my future husband”.

“To bubble tea then!”, you smile as you roll up the A3 card carefully and put it in your bag.

“To free stuff!”, Yunghee laughs as she links arms with you and leads you out the room.

            *    *    *

“Seraaaaah!”, Yunghee calls half an hour later as she runs up the stairs that lead to your apartment, “Ready to have some fun?”

“Of course!  Happy birthday, Jae!”

“Thanks”, you lovingly beam as you reach the top and open the door, “Come on in!”

As soon as the three of you are inside, Yunghee pulls two bottles of champagne from her bag: “Shall we then?”

“I see where tonight is going”, you chuckle before kicking off your shoes and retrieving three glasses from the cupboard, “And I like it!”

Instead of responding, Serah and Yunghee squeak in excitement and join you in the kitchen.  Once all three glassed have been filled, you raise your glasses to the sky and let the delicate clinking sounds fill the silent room.

“To the best friend we could ever ask for!”, Yunghee toasts.

“Here, here!”, Serah affirms, “And to many more memories together!”

Their words make you well up once again, but this time you can’t stop a tear from rolling down your cheek: “I love you guys”.

“And we love you”, Yunghee affirms before gulping down half of her champagne, “Now, tunes!”

            *    *    *

Two hours later the three of you are dancing around your apartment enthusiastically.  Both bottles of champagne are dry, so you’ve moved onto your secret supply of red wine.

“How do I look?”, you question whilst leaning against your bathroom door a little intoxicated.

You are wearing your present from the girls - a maroon mid thigh length skater dress with the front panel cut out ily and replaced with a see-through material.  You have paired it with black tights, black and gold healed ankle boots, and a leather jacket.  Your hair is waved naturally from the plaits you adorned all day and your makeup is smokey with a deep maroon lip to complete the look.

“Smokin’ hot!”

“Hmmm”, Yunghee ponders exaggeratedly from the chair as she crosses her legs and swirls the red wine around in her glass, “Many hearts will be stolen tonight”.

Her comment makes you laugh, but it also fills you with confidence.

“By the way…”, you begin as you retrieve the wine bottle and empty its’ contents into everyones glasses, “Where are we going?”

Yunghee looks up at you and places her index finger over her lips before winking: “It’s a secret”.

            *    *    *

As you walk down a strangely quiet street you start to wonder where it is they’re taking you.  You are just about to ask when Yunghee stops at a out door and knocks slowly three times.

“What is your business here?”, a voice bellows from the inside.

“We’ve come to see the detective”, Yunghee clears , “It’s urgent!”

“Very well, come in”, the voice beckons as the door is opened for you, “Right this way”.

The unknown man leads you down a dark corridor and into an office.  You have absolutely no idea what is going on and you’d by lying if you said you weren’t a little bit nervous.

“Good evening”, the man sat behind the desk grins at you, “How can I help you three ravishing ladies?”

“Our friends have been kidnapped!”, Serah begins without looking at you, “We think they’ve been taken captive by a large group of men”.

You still have no clue what is going on, and the fact that neither of them will make eye contact with you is making everything so much worse.

“Do you have any proof?”, the detective questions as he leans forward on the desk with his fingers clasped, “Any leads?”

“We do!”, Yunghee asserts as she slams her hand down onto the table, “We have reason to believe that they are being held right here, in your own abode”.

The detective does not look shocked, but instead a slimy smile creeps across his face: “Oh, really?”

Without anything else being said, the detective peals himself off his seat and opens another door for you all.

“Then you’d better go take a look”, he smirks as he ushers you through, “Good luck”.

Before you can ask Yunghee or Serah anything, you have been pushed into a pitch black room.  You can’t feel anyone around you and you can only hear faint muffling sounds from all around.  You are just about to locate your phone when the lights are switched on.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Looking around you can’t believe your eyes.  You are in a 1920s English inspired bar, complete with beautiful chandeliers and a dark mahogany interior.  Around you are many familiar faces, including Jiwoon, Jiyun, Eunseo, Woonha and Yuhan.

Saeng-il chukhahamnida.  Saeng-il chukhahamnida.  Saranghaneun Jae shi.  Seang-il chukhahamnida.

As they sing, a huge birthday cake covered in sparklers is positioned in front of you.  You are too caught up in the moment to even notice who is carrying it.

“Make a wish”, a voice prompts you.

Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and blow out the sparklers.  

As the crowed cheers, you open your eyes and look up: “K-Kris?”

“Happy birthday, Jae”, he grins ily, “It’s been a while”.

“How?”, you question, completely dumbfounded.

Before he can reply, Eunseo and Yunghee have appeared at your side.

“You didn’t think you could keep them a secret forever, did you?”, Yunghee chuckles as she nudges you gently.

“I can’t believe you were keeping twelve attractive men to yourself”, Eunseo remarks before wrapping her hands around yours with a smile, “I’m supposed to live vicariously through you, remember”.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner”, you reply as your eyes skim the ground guiltily, “It’s just…”

“Don’t worry about it!”, Yunghee reassures as she squeezes your arm.

“We get it”, Eunseo nods understandingly, “But we’re all here now, so let’s have some fun”. 

“Did someone say fun?”, Kai grins as he arrives in front of you and passes you an espresso martini, “Happy birthday, noona”.

“Thank you”, you smile before taking a much needed sip of coffee mixed with vodka and a dash of hazelnut liqueur, “You always know when my caffeine levels are low, don’t you”.

As the others around you disperse, Kai takes a step closer: “Aren’t they always low?”

“True”, you chuckle before continuing, “How have you been?”

“Oh, I won’t bore you with work stuff tonight”.

“But I want to know!”

“Another day”, he smiles before promptly disappearing into the crowed.

Seconds later someone has slipped their arms around your waist from behind.  You have no idea who it is, but for some reason all your worries just seem to slip away.

“Happy birthday, Chopstick Girl”, a voice coos into your ear, leaving it feeling hot and tingly.

As their grip loosens, you spin around and look up at your captor.  Your heart stops beating for a moment.  His scent is just as intoxicating to your heart as the alcohol is to your body.

“Thanks, Yeollie”, you beam and before you know it more words have slipped out of your mouth, “I missed you”.

Chanyeol looks a little surprised by your confession, and his face quickly begins to turn the same colour as your dress.

“You too”, he manages to whisper just before someone splits you up gently.

“Oi you”, Baekhyun pouts playfully to Chanyeol, “Don’t hog her!”

Chanyeol doesn’t reply, but instead backs away quickly into the crowed, leaving your body feeling cold and heavy once more.

“C’mon then Wendy”, Chen smiles brightly as he links arms with you and leads you to the bar, “Let’s get another drink”.  

“What can I get you, birthday girl?”, the barkeeper asks whilst leaning across the bar.

After quickly downing the rest of your espresso martini and glancing at the menu you reply: “Amaretto sour”.

“Make that two”, Kris affirms as he slings his arm around your shoulders.

“Hi”, you smile, aware that you hadn’t really greeted him properly earlier.

“Having a good birthday?”, he questions as the barkeeper places the drinks in front of you.

Picking up the glass, you take a small sip before replying happily: “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such good friends.  I’m so lucky!”

“You are loved by many, including me”, Kris affirms as he slips a rose out from under his jacket and places it on the bar, “Happy birthday”.

Around the stem is a gold chain with some sort of molecule pendant.

“You shouldn’t have”, you begin as you feel the tears threaten to overflow yet again, “It’s lovely”.

“It’s the molecule for memory”, Kris smiles as he retrieves the chain and wraps it round your wrist, “Now you have no excuses to forget me”.

“I love it”, you beam as your heart wrenches slightly, “It’s perfect”.

To hide your pain, you pretend to inspect the molecule closely.  *What am I doing?*, you angrily question yourself, *Why am I feeling this way?*

“Everything okay, Jae?”, he questions warmly as he pushes your hair behind your left ear gently. 

You don’t answer, but instead continue to rub the molecule pendant between your fingers.  You have no idea what to say to change the subject, so are glad when more people approach the bar.

“Happy birthday”, Xiumin beams childishly before throwing his arms around you and hugging you tightly, “You’re one year wiser now”.

His comment makes you chuckle slightly, given your current state of mind: “I doubt that”.

“Do you want another drink?”, Suho questions as he tries to get the bartenders’ attention.

You hadn’t even realised you’d finished the last one.  *Drinking too much more won’t help anything*, you inwardly sigh whilst tracing the petals of the rose with your finger lightly, *But I do feel like I need another drink…*

“Blue lagoons all around, please”, D.O.’s voice pulls you back to reality.

“Ooo, yummy!”, Tao’s voice cuts through the crowed, “Me too!  Me too!”

“You’ve had enough already”, Kris asserts firmly whilst eyeing Tao’s awkward steps, “How much have you had?”

“Kriiiiiiiiis”, Tao complains as he launches his arms around his shoulders barely missing you, “I’ve only had a little”.

As you all take in the sight of a drunk panda, Luhan and Sehun come swaying through the crowded room.

“Sorry, Kris”, Luhan apologises before attempting to detangle Tao’s arms, “He was trying to prove how manly he is”.

“So why are you both pissed as well?”, Kris asks, obviously not impressed.

Sehun looks at Luhan as if requesting permission before responding: “Well, we didn’t want to lose to him…”

“How much have you all had to drink then?”, you chuckle as you pat Sehun on the shoulder strongly.

“Two bottles of Soju”, Tao boasts proudly as he leans on Kris for support.

“What, each?”, Xiumin questions in shock.

Looking somewhat ashamed, the most sober of them all answers: “No.  Two bottles between us”.

“So Luhan is cleary the one who won this battle…”, Suho groans in disbelief of the situation, “You three had better go and sit back down over there.  I’ll bring you some water”.

“Thanks grandpa”, Tao beams before merrily skipping his way back across the room.

D.O. takes a large gulp of blue lagoon before letting out a heavy sigh: “Aish, kids these days… Such light weights!”

            *    *    *

“Here”, an unknown hand offers you a slice of pizza a couple of hours later, “Thought the birthday girl might need some sobering up”.

Looking up you see that your saviour is Lay.  You hadn’t even remembered to eat dinner, so any food would be extremely welcome now.

“Thank you”, you beam sweetly before practically inhaling the delicious melted cheese and ham, “Just what I needed”.

Lay sits down next to you on the curb and rests his head on your shoulders: “Why are you outside, chingu-ya?”

“I just needed a bit of fresh air”.

“Are you not enjoying yourself?”

His question surprises you, and you feel guilty for even making him think that: “Of course I am!  It’s just super hot and stuffy in there”.

“That’s true…”, he ponders as he sits upright and ruffles his hair, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself”.

“I haven’t ever had a party like this for my birthday - it’s amazing!”

“Chanyeol will be pleased to know you’re happy”.

“Hm?”, you question, completely confused by the mention of his name.

Lay looks at you in complete bewilderment before replying: “Didn’t you know?”

“Know what?” 

“Chanyeol planned all this”.

If this were a cartoon, your heart would have fallen out of your chest just now.  You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“I can’t believe you didn’t know”, Lay continues as he stares into the crisp night sky, “He’s been planning it for months”.

“I - I didn’t - ”, you stutter, completely unable to form a coherent sentence.

Lay effortlessly pushes himself back to his feet before holding his hand out to you: “Coming back in?”

You reach to take it, but change your mind.

“I think I’m going to stay out here a little longer”, you innocently smile, “I won’t be long”.

“Okay”, he smiles before heading back towards the door, “See you in a bit!”

Once you are on your own again, you fumble in your bag for your dogeared packet of cigarettes and locate your lighter.  As you spark up for the first time in months, you inhale deeply and let the calming smoke fill your lungs.  Resting your chin on your knees, you watch as the smoke cascades through the night sky.  Inhaling another toke of the cigarette, you close your eyes and let the sounds of the city completely engulf you.  You must stay like this for a few minutes unmoving, because when you open your eyes again your cigarette has become one long line of ash.  Gently you lower it to the ground in an effort to not cover your new dress with soot.  

You are just about to light up another one when the door clangs open behind you.

“Found you”, Kris smirks as he positions himself on the ground next to you, “You okay?  You seemed a bit off earlier”.

“Kris, I - ”.

You are unable to finish your sentence.  

In one quick movement Kris has pulled your face close to his, your lips entwined with his for the second time in your life.

You hear the door swing open behind you again.

Instinctively you push Kris away, but it is moments too late.

Chanyeol is standing in the doorway with such a look of pain on his face that you feel your own heart breaking.

That is when it hits you.

*Ah, it wasn’t pain I felt earlier.  It was guilt*.

            *    *    *

“Another bottle of soju please, ajusshi”, you call in a pojangmacha many hours and numerous drinks later.

“You can’t keep punishing yourself, Jae”, Eunseo pleads as she tries to feed you some friend chicken.

“She’s right”, Serah affirms as she pours you another glass, “No one can control who they have feelings for”.

“But why?”, you question before necking the large shot, “More please”.

“Because that’s just not how we humans work”, Jiyun declares as she slams her hand down on the table, making the few other souls present look round.

Everyone on the table falls silent and bows their heads apologetically.

Picking up your glass, you motion to Yunghee: “More please”.

“Aish, what are we going to do with you”.

After necking another glass of soju, you furrow your brow cutely and look at Yunghee: “More please”.

Reluctantly she fills up your glass one more time.

“What am I going to do?”, you cry as your head hits the table with a loud thud.

“There’s only one thing you can do”, Jiyun begins as she moves the contents of the table away from you, “You need to be honest”.

“But how can I tell him?”, you mumble into the plastic, “That’s so mean”.

You feel someone your head lightly, so you look up and see that it is Eunseo.

“What’s more mean, telling him now or leading him on?  Here, eat some chicken”.

As you ponder her question, you obediently chew on a chicken wing.

“Exactly”, Serah agrees as she passes you a wad of tissues, “You just have to figure out what you want”.

“I don’t know what I want”, you flail childishly before taking a gulp of soju straight from the bottle.

“Of course you do, Jae”, Yunghee sympathetically shrugs her shoulders.

“If I knew what I wanted, I wouldn’t be here right now.  No offence”.

“None taken”, Eunseo chuckles as she passes you another piece of chicken, “But you do know”.

“How?”

The atmosphere at the table suddenly becomes very heavy.

“It’s simple”, Jiyun concludes as she crosses her arms on the table, “Who did you want to kiss you tonight?”

The answer is so clear that you don’t even need to contemplate it.

“Yeollie”.