THE DISRESPEKT

Mother: KIDSSS GUESS WHAAATTT

gucci shades: you finally found kyungsoo’s missing hair?

satansoo: I will find you, Huang Zitao, and I will kill you.

Mother: LOL I WISH

Mother: BUT TIS EVEN BETTER ;) ;) ;)

baehyun: wat could b beter than dat

jongbae: maybe a cure for his hair? a way to get him to stop cutting it??

satansoo: God, when will murder finally not be illegal?

pcwhy: OKAY OKYA A SMCUH AS I LVOE ROASTING KYNGUSO

pcwhy: WAHST THE SURPRISE

satansoo: It’s a dictionary :)

pcwhy: ??pc-why

satansoo: So you can learn how to spell my name properly, you piece of .

Han Dynasty: LOOOOOOOOOOL

innocent maknae: BEST INSULT IVE HEARD ALL DAY 10/10

gucci shades: CLAPBACK GAME 2 STRONG

Father: OUCH THAT SALT

minnie mouse: tbh when will he learn how to spell in general

Mother: OKAT Y SHHHHHHHH

Mother: THE SURPRISE IS

Mother: WE’RE GOING

Mother: ON

minnie mouse: S A Y I T

Mother: V A C A T IO N

innocent maknae: WAHTTAWHAJFKMWFW

pcwhy: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

baehyun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OMMFMGMGMGG

satansoo: !

unicornxing: GASP

jongbae: I AHVENT HEARD THOSE WORDS IN 5 YEARS ,, THANKS SM

ninibear: IMMMMMMMMMMMM FAJKWHAFKFLJFOAFPF

gucci shades: PLS TELL EME WERE GOIGNT O THE BAHAMAS I NEED THA T TA N

minnie mouse: WILL I FINALLY BE ABLE TO CLOSE MY EYES AND R E S T

Han Dynasty: THIS ISA  GLORIOSU DAY

Mother: yeah,,, about that

Mother: how do i put this as nicely as possible

Mother: we’re going on vacation,,,,

Mother: without u

Father: as in just the two of us

Mother: me and ur father ^

baehyun: i

gucci shades: i...

pcwhy: hAHa this is april fools right

minnie mouse: it’s april fifth

pcwhy: THIS IS APRIL FOOLS RIGHT.

Mother: .....................no

Han Dynasty: im removing myself from this family

innocent maknae: cant believe our parents were the true snakes after all smh 

jongbae: fake parents what the kind of buLL

ninibear: im running away to canada if u guys wanna join me be my guest i no longer know these people

pcwhy: who even are a kim junmyeon and a wu yifan??? never heard of them 

Father: kids calm down

satansoo: Was that the wind?

baehyun: sure wasn’t me

Mother: hey listen it’s only going to be for a week

gucci shades: wait we’re going to canada?

gucci shades: funny, i think i used to know someone from canada

gucci shades: turns out he was a snake

Father: this kris slander in my own damn home

unicornxing: at least canada has moose!!ヽ(〃･ω･)ﾉ

innocent maknae: it's more than what this land of the snakes has

pcwhy: u absolutely RIGHT

Mother: are you guys actually going to canada

jongbae: 

jongbae: did we in stutter hyung

minnie mouse: i already booked our flight.

ninibear: exo’s disbanding it was a good run u guys

Mother: omfg yall are so EXTRA

Mother: liSTEN it wasn’t even our choice they want us to do some promotion stuff or whatever

Mother: we’ll be back before you know it!

satansoo: And you think you can just desert us, your CHILDREN, and let us starve?

Mother: u ... know how to cook tho?

satansoo: Shaking my head in shame, hyung.

satansoo: Shaking my damn head.

Mother: okay im never going to get anywhere with you guys so

Mother: call us if you’ve got any emergencies

Mother: and i mean ACTUAL emergencies

Mother: and minseok hyung ur in charge of everyone while were gone

minnie mouse: THE

innocent maknae: BUT HYUNGGGGG CHANYEOL HYUNG CAN BARELY TAKE A SHOWER BY HIMSELF

Mother: he’s gonna have to manage

baehyun: kyungsoo can help him ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

satansoo: Speak another word, Baekhyun, and see what happens.

baehyun: an empty threat i bet

baehyun: hah that rhymes

baehyun: ohnymINGGGFJlADHFKLA

pcwhy: uh

jongbae: baek??

baehyun: IJSUT LEFT Y=MY ROOM AND SKUYNGSOO JUMPD DOWN FRMOM THE CEILIGN NAD AKTTACKE DME I M SCFREMAING AND RUNINGJ

Mother: ...

Mother: have fun minseok

minnie mouse: i loathe you with every ounce of my being.

jongbae has changed the chat name to we’re going to die

private chat: chaotic evil

minnie mouse: so!

satansoo: I don’t like where this is going, hyung.

satansoo: That’s a very suspicious ‘so’.

minnie mouse: haha well you see

minnie mouse: as the person in charge

minnie mouse: im putting you in charge now :-)

satansoo: What the , why

minnie mouse: because why should i have to babysit you idiots when i could be making out with luhan in our room

minnie mouse: just don’t kill anyone and we’ll be good!

satansoo: Are you ing kidding me

satansoo: Don’t make me suffer like this, you know I cant make those kinds of promises.

satansoo: Hyung, I know you’re reading these.

satansoo: HYUNG

satansoo: Oh my ing gosh

satansoo: FINE

satansoo: I’ll accept this once.

satansoo: I’ll get my retribution soon enough :)

minnie mouse: sure

we’re going to die

satansoo: Guess who’s in charge now, kiddos.

pcwhy:  MY LIFE

satansoo: To be fair, it wasn’t my choice

satansoo: But it will surely be an absolutely miserable week for all of us.

private chat: dumb

satansoo: Baekhyun, I’m coming home from the studio soon.

satansoo: Put some spaghetti on the stove so I can start dinner when I get back.

baehyun: sure thang soo ;D

private chat: LOMLLLL <3 <3 <3

baehyun: BABE HOW THE DO YOU COOK SPAGHETTI

jongbae: YOURE ASKING ME?!?/1/1!?!

baehyun: 

baehyun: UH

baehyun: YOLO AM I RIGHT

we’re going to die

satansoo: I am actually in awe right now

ninibear: what happened?

satansoo: Well

satansoo: I asked Baekhyun to put spaghetti on the stove so I could make dinner when I got back

pcwhy: WOAH WAS HE THAT GOOD AT PUTTING SPAGHETTI ON?!?!1?

satansoo: The , no?

satansoo: He’s just an even bigger idiot than I originally thought.

satansoo: 

Han Dynasty: WJKAWJFLFPAWFJLAFMBHFAFLFWPFFW

innocent maknae: IMC RITNGNWAPDLWAEAE

baehyun: I THGOUT YOU MEANT LITERLALLY

satansoo: HOW DO YOU MESS UP PUTTING SPAGHETTI INTO A POT

satansoo: ITS NOT THAT HARD

baehyun: ITS A COMPLICATED SCIENCE OKA YLIEAVE MEA LOEN

minnie mouse: day 1, give it up for day 1 of this nightmare

jongbae: they literally only left 4 hours ago how r we already this bad

we’re going to die

jongbae: hey so um

jongbae: how do u repair a sink

jongbae: askin for a friend

satansoo: Please tell me you did not.

jongbae: course not haha how could i be so irresponsible as to shove a huge grape up the faucet to prove a point to someone

jongbae: only a real fool would do something like that!! hahaha!!1!1

pcwhy: what kind of point requires u to put a grape up the faucet???

jongbae: idk man friends are weird!! what can i say!!!

unicornxing: i asked siri and she said to call a repair person dae ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

jongbae: ill tell the friend

satansoo: I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

we’re going to die

innocent maknae: guys help imc rying

ninibear: WHAT HAOPEENEDN WHOD O I HAVE TOFIGHT

baehyun: coughs WHIPPED coughs

innocent maknae: i cu t my finger with a plastic knfie trying to peel an apple

ninibear: ILL BE THERE IN 10 SECONDS WITH EMERGENCY AID AND A MEDICAL KIT THAT KNIFE HAS SEEN ITS LAST DAYS

minnie mouse: wtf how do you manage to cut your finger with a plastic knife

innocent maknae: SHUT UP HYUNG :(

satansoo: I can’t believe it’s only been 7 hours since they left and we’re already at this point.

Han Dynasty: say goodbye to the dorm guys it’s gonna be up in flames by the end of the week

minnie mouse: why are we so incapable without them this is depressing<