Song Recommendation: Hold Me Tight - BTS

Jungkook. 

Sometimes I'd forget that Seokjin was five years older then me and he's probably never thought of me as more then a kid he has to take care of since he's the oldest. It's funny how he thinks I'm just young and innocent, when really I've imagined making him mine countless times in my head. It makes me angry when he doesn't realize how cruel he's being when he doesn't see me as a man, but just a kid. 

Seokjin may be 5 years older then me, but age doesn't bother me one bit. I've graduated high school now, I'm an adult. I'm just as tall as him and although my shoulders may not be as broad, he'd fit perfectly into my arms. Sometimes he looks so small, smaller then Jimin and I just want to protect him, take him away from everything bad in the world because he deserves to be happy and I want to make him happy. 

I want him to look into my eyes, I want him to see me as his lover; his partner, I want to touch him, I want to run my fingers through his hair and be his shoulder to cry on, be there when he needs someone to talk to, be there for every step in his life. I'm afraid sometimes that I'll snap and lose control and do something terrible to him. I never want to hurt him, but at this point I'm not sure what I'll do. 

It was after my graduation when I felt my patience running out. We were all out together to have a meal celebrating my last day as a student.

"No matter what you'll still be a kid Kookie." He said while he laughed, unaware of what snapped inside me. I knew he didn't mean to do what he did, hell he didn't know about these feelings. It wasn't his fault that he hurt me in one of the worst ways possible. Everything after what he said went by in a blur, and all my mind could do was keep repeating his words over and over again. 

I considered giving up on this unrequited love, for real this time. Seokjin obviously didn't feel that same way as me and I couldn't force him to love me. 

-

Bloodshot eyes and nearly four in the morning, my feet subconsciously glided through the wooden floors of our dorm and stopped in front of Yoongi and Jin's bedroom door. A pin drop could be heard in the eerily quiet house, everyone was asleep. I brought my hand up to the door knob and twisted the door open. The room was dark, just like the rest of the house but I could still see the silhouettes of their sleeping bodies on the beds. 

I sl