===

They say love is not just a world full of cupackes and rainbows, nor an activity with the sense of avenging and protection. Love is a wide scope as more good things come ahead, even bad ones.

For Hana and Sejeong, life couldn't get much sweeter, now that Hyeyeon was growing up.

Hyeyeon was now a happy six year-old girl. She was outside their home and wowed of a park where the kids would play. Hyeyeon got her cute chipmunk slippers on and was about to run when someone scooped her up.

"Woah." Hyeyeon looked up to see Hana. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Mommy~" Hyeyeon whined. "Put me down~"

"Now, now...Mommy just wants you to be careful." Hana said to her.

"Mommy...where's Daddy?" Hyeyeon asked.

Hana looked at the time. It was five minutes since Sejeong left for work. Hana sighed and would sometimes nag in her thoughts of Hyeyeon's constant asking.

"Daddy's still at work, my baby Hyeyeon." Hana said.

"But I want Daddy to come home right now~" Hyeyeon whined loudly. "I want you and Daddy together right now~"

Hana hushes her daugther as she sighed, calling Sejeong.

•••••

Sejeong puts her phone down, ignoring that one call. 

"Eomma~" A cute seven year-old called. "Appa's making fun of my cheeks again~"

Sejeong chuckled as she saw her Nayoung making fun of Mina's puffy cheeks. Sejeong joined her two girls and Mina went closer to hug her mother tight.

"Aigoo...don't pinch our daughter's cheek too much, Nayoungie." Sejeong sighed.

"Whoops." Nayoung places a peck on Mina's cheeks. "Mind Appa for the pinching, Mina. Appa just loves you so much." 

Nayoung tickles Mina and their daughter giggled. Sejeong joined in and Mina was having the time of her life with her parents.

"I love you both." Mina said. "But Appa Nayoung loves Eomma Sejeong more."

Sejeong and Nayoung blushed lightly but then Nayoung heard those words and she sensed something.

"Aigoo...where did you learn that, Mina?" Nayoung huffed. 

"There's someone I like, Appa." Mina grinned.

"Who's the lucky guy that my baby fell in love with?" Sejeong joined Nayoung in asking.

"Well...it's..."

•••••

Chungha spits her coffee as Sejeong said that. The Ahjussi just laughed for her cousin. 

"That's just insane." Chungha commented.

"The fact that my daughter has a crush on her very distant cousin, who happens to be your daughter?" Sejeong asked.

"That's one..." Chungha points out. "...but I'm talking about your little secret."

Sejeong almost forgot. It was the reason she came by the cafe. Sejeong met Chungha's daughters, Sohye and Somi, and she was obliged to see such beautiful children, especially the one that made Mina's wee little heart flatter.

"Yeah...it's going to get complicated." Sejeong sighed. "With the children growing up, it's going to get harder. Hyeyeon nags when I leave and Mina feels down when I'm not around."

"Sejeong..." Chungha calls. "If you can, please stop this madness." Chungha looks at her cousin and she didn't like her gaze. "You're going to break Hana and Nayoung's hearts, especially the children's. Remember, your heart may have spaces for the both of them but time will come that the space will be too small for both."

"I know..." Sejeong said, almost in the brink of crying. "I can't leave either way. It's not fair."

A ring had to disrupt their talk. Sejeong sighed, seeing the twenty missed calls from Hana. This was now the 21st. She had no choice but to answer.

"Hana?"

*When are you coming home?!* Sejeong could tell that Hana was mad. *Hyeyeon has been asking me and she's crying, wanting you to come back home. And you didn't answer my calls, Kim Sejeong!*

"Hana, I'm sorry...I-"

*Come here. Now.* Hana demanded and hung up.

"Thanks for the time, Chungha." Sejeong stood up. "But I need to..."

"Okay." Chungha sighed. "I can't force you but please...be careful..."

Sejeong nodded and left.

•••••

Sejeong arrived, seeing a dismayed Hana comforting their baby. Sejeong went hastily to comfort Hyeyeon.

"Baby, it's okay." Sejeong carries Hyeyeon. "It's okay, Daddy's here."

"Daddy..." Hyeyeon faced and held Sejeong's face. "What took you so long~?" 

"Daddy was busy...I'm sorry, baby." Sejeong said, kissing Hyeyeon's forehead.

Sejeong faced Hana. Hyeyeon was reaching for her and Hana inches closer to the two. Sejeong had to wrap an arm around Hana's waist as Hyeyeon looked at them, her smile plastering instantly.

"Mommy...Daddy..." Hyeyeon hugs them tight.

Sejeong and Hana had to smile for Hyeyeon. Hyeyeon yawned and the both of them had to tuck their baby to bed. Then, they got to their bedroom but the tension was there.

Hana sits by her side, crossing her arms at Sejeong. "I thought you'd be back 5:30."

Sejeong sighed. It was already 7 in the evening that she came home.

"And I called you 20 times." Hana grew angrier. "What made you so busy?!"

"Hana..." Sejeong tries to reason. "There was this great project we're working..."

"All the same." Hana continued. "You should've just texted me."

"I'm sorry..." Sejeong apologetically said, feeling guilty for leaving Hana out.

Hana didn't look back nor said another word. Sejeong lets her be, changing to another set of clothes. Hana gazed back and wondered of Sejeong's look.

"Where are you going?"

"Freshen up outside." Sejeong mumbled. "Besides, you're mad at me. If you were to see me, you won't calm down." Sejeong grabbed her car keys. "I won't be long."

Hana looked away. Sejeong left the room. Hana felt empty and cried silently.

•••••

It was raining outside. Nayoung couldn't help but grin at her Mina, watching the raindrops falling by the rooftops as droplets caressed the window. A knock was heard and Nayoung went to get the door, gasping to see Sejeong all wet.

"Sejeong..."

"Nayoungie..." 

"What happened to you? You're drenched." Nayoung grew worried then called Mina. "Mina, get the largest towel in the bathroom."

"Ne." Mina replied and went to get it.

•••••

Sejeong was dried up by Nayoung and Mina. Nayoung cooked some soup as Sejeong kept Mina company. The three ate dinner, washed up, then the two tucked Mina to bed.

In their bedroom, Sejeong was cuddling to Nayoung. Nayoung wrapped her arms around Sejeong, keeping her warm. But then, Nayoung heard Sejeong sob.

"Sejeongie...what's the matter? Talk to me." Nayoung spoke, cupping Sejeong's face.

"I'm sorry." Sejeong cried.

"Sorry for what?" Nayoung asked.

"I'm sorry I couldn't go home all the time. I'm sorry to leave you and Mina. And I'm sorry I couldn't be a good lover to you..."

Nayoung shook her head and comforted Sejeong. "Shh...it's okay, Sejeong -ah. I know you're doing it for work. Also, Mina doesn't mind much as I try to let her understand...just like I've always been with you." Nayoung kisses Sejeong's forehead. "Married or not, I love you...and nothing will change that."

Sejeong couldn't help but kiss Nayoung passionately. They broke afterwards as Sejeong cupped Nayoung's face. 

"I thought I would lose you forever, Nayoungie..." Sejeong kissed her cheek. "I was so happy I found you..."

"I'm also thankful that we met each other again despite the obscurities." Nayoung said.

Sejeong nodded and slept in the arms of Nayoung.

 +++

Hana and Sejeong were on their first two years as a married couple. Despite of being busy due to their work, Hana and Sejeong had time for themselves as a couple, from going out to staying home, cuddling in each other's arms.

Today, Sejeong was catching up as an excited Kim Hana got to their usual spot by the tree with the big tire swing. Sejeong puts the basket and laid the blanket by the grass. Hana laid down first, pulling her Alpha wife down to join her.

They gaze at the clouds, forming in various shapes the both of them could imagine. 

"Look. That one looks like a baby rabbit. See the fluffy tail?" Hana points at one cloud.

"Oh, there's one that looks like a cute cat. Haha..." Sejeong points out as she was having fun.

Hana chuckled for her wife. Hana saw another cloud, which caught her attention that she nudges Sejeong to look at it too.

"That one looks like a baby." Hana said. "I want to have a baby with you, Sejeongie."

Sejeong looked at the clouds and somehow, she pictured all of them as cute babies. Hana was picturing out the same thing. "We could have tons of babies, as much as these clouds in the sky."

Sejeong thought about it, plastering a wide grin. 

She loved to. She wanted a family with her wife.

***

With the idea in mind, Hana and Sejeong got a vacant room and turned it into a baby's room. Hana would by some clothes for the baby as Sejeong bought the necessities. Pacifiers, baby bottles, even a crib for the room.

Wtih all the they had for the past two years, surely there was a possibility of having a child. For now, Hana and Sejeong went to a OB-gyne. Sejeong was fine if neither of them would bear the child but Hana volunteered to do so.

Hana was checked up, Sejeong was too. It would've made sense that neither of them would get pregnant and start having their child and would start a phase in life as a family. But that is not what happened.

"I checked the both you. I'm sorry to tell you this but...neither of you have a sight chance of getting pregnant."

"Surely there is a way. I thought in vitro fertilization could be possible, doc." Sejeong said.

"With your slight case of polycystic ovary syndrome and Hana-ssi's mild case of endometriosis, in vitro fertilization is impossible." 

"How about surrogacy?" Sejeong asked.

"No." Hana refuted. "I want US to have a child."

"There's nothing else I can say but...the both of you have high risks of infertility. I'm sorry."

Hana could only nod. But then, she puts her hands on her face and cried. Sejeong couldn't do anything but comfort her wife.

It was bad news. Neither of them cannot have children.

***

With the revelation, the atmosphere of the couple had been off. Sejeong would see her wife by their balcony, staring into space. During the first three months, she lets her be. But with the constant deterioration of their relationship, Sejeong had to save it for both of their sakes.

Sejeong went outside and held Hana's hand. "Hana...please don't do this to yourself."

"Aren't you disappointed about it?" Hana batted out. "Aren't you aspiring to have a child with me?"

"Hana...of course I would die to have a child with you." Sejeong assured her. "I feel bad myself, knowing neither of us can't bear children. But please..." Sejeong hugs her. "It's not a mistake. We can be happy without children. We're still family even if we don't have children. I have you...and you have me..."

Hana looked at Sejeong who was still crouching at her level. Hana cupped Sejeong's face and nodded, tackling her for a hug. 

Hana knew Sejeong was right. They can be happy with each other. But for now, the inevitability of having a child lingered on her head as she could only cry.

For Sejeong, she will do everything foe Hana. She will make sure to make her happy...despite the odds...

***

They were now on their third year of marriage and Sejeong worked harder for Hana. But sometimes, circumstances were cruel.

Sejeong would come home and saw Hana raging inside the baby room, throwing the baby bottles and breaking the crib with a hammer. Sejeong went to calm her down and comforted her wife. Hana dropped the hammer and sought comfort on Sejeong's hug.

"WHY ARE WE INFERTILE, KIN SEJEONG?!" Hana yelled. "WHY?"

That continued for a while. With that, Sejeong locked the baby room to keep Hana from entering.

Not only that, little problems turned into big ones. Sejeong would come home late from work and Hana would get mad. Sejeong had her reasons yet Hana refused to believe, which led to constant arguments almost every day.

Another thing was that Sejeong would constantly pick up Hana from the club, sometimes drunk, mostly sober. Sejeong wondered of this and Hana had her reasons. 

"Hana, you know how it triggers me if you go out clubbing!" Sejeong hissed. "Here I am working my for the both of us and you has to quit your job and go out flirting with other girls!"

"I wasn't flirting, Sejeong! I was letting myself loose after such torment of not having children." Hana hissed back.

"Hana...I thought we talked about this." Sejeong sighed. "I thought you were happy with me."

"I am." Hana said. "But I don't want to be just a wife to you. I want to be the mother of our children."

Sejeong was losing it. "I suggest surrogacy but you don't want to because it hurts your pride. What am I supposed to do, force you to get pregnant?!" Sejeong yelled and Hana froze. "We're both infertile and if forced, our lives would be at risk. And do you think I'd let you get pregnant knowing it'll risk your life?"

Sejeong loathed losing her cool in front of her wife. But she had to get the idea on Hana's head for her to understand. "Hana, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being to make you happy and get what you want. What kind of a wife am I? As if...I'm not the one for you."

Those words hit Hana. Sejeong went on when Hana held her arm. "Sejeongie..."

Sejeong got Hana's arm off of her and went to the bedroom to change herself.

***

A wide gap was between the two as they slept without cuddling in each other's arms. Hana was still mad at Sejeong, all while guilt and longing seeped in. Hana rolled over, seeing Sejeong's back. Not only that, she noticed Sejeong cough lightly.

How could she not see Sejeong's efforts? How could she not see that Sejeong was doing everything to make her happy? Hana felt bad of her raw aspiration to have a child. She was driven by that one aspiration and it wrecked the essence of their marriage apart.

She knew it was wrong of her to react. She had to apologize. If not, she would lose this relationship. She would lose Sejeong.

She can't bear it. She can't bear a life without Sejeong. She can't and she never will.

Hana scooted closer and hugged her tight. "Sejeongie..."

She felt Sejeong get rid of her arms and sat up. Not only that, she got her car keys.

"Where are you going?" Hana asked.

"Loosen up a bit." Sejeong mumbled.

Hana didn't want to. She wanted Sejeong to stay and hold her. "Sejeongie...stay here...please..."

"Hana, can I?" Sejeong asked. "I need to get some out of my head."

"You're not staying?" Hana was beginning to cry. "Do you hate me?"

"I told you. I need to loosen up." Sejeong said. "And I don't hate you, Hana."

"You're coming back, right?" Hana had to be sure.

"Who said anything about leaving?" Sejeong asked back.

Hana didn't argue back and lets Sejeong go. Sejeong wipes Hana's tears and pecked her forehead before she left. 

***

"Another bottle."

"Miss, I think you've had enough-"

"Another. Bottle." Sejeong said again.

The bartender nodded and got another bottle. Sejeong opened it, downing the content inside her blazing gut. Sejeong slumped her head on the counter, drunk.

The bartender could gasp. Sejeong just downed two cases of beer. Sejeong got up again, slumping cash in the counter before going out all wobbly and disoriented.

Then, she saw someone familiar. Sejeong rubbed her eyes and she couldn't believe it. Seeing the person, Sejeong's hidden emotions broke free. She cries.

"Nayoungie..."

A girl was downing almost two cases of beer and Sejeong wobbled towards that table. The girl turned her head to the side and she had the same reaction as Sejeong's.

"Sejeong-ah..."

Sejeong couldn't believe it. It was just the beer. But she cared nonetheless. Her feelings towards her first love came back, now that she finally found her.

How could Nayoung live? Sejeong thought she was dead. As she got closer, she ran and hugged the girl, feeling her. Sejeong gasped. She was alive.

Nayoung wrapped her arms around Sejeong and Sejeong felt fire below. She was lusting. This was bad. 

But all of the events came too quick. The next thing she knew, she was pinned by Nayoung, lips pressed on Nayoung's. Sejeong missed her. Sejeong longed for her to come back. Even if she was married, she loved Nayoung so much. She cared less if this was all a dream. She wanted Nayoung and she knew Nayoung died to touch her again.

***

The next day, Sejeong woke up in a bed and she gasped when she saw herself . She covered herself with the blanket, picturing out the events that happened yesterday.

She jolted up only to hear a groan. She looked to the side and gasped to see her first love, sleeping soundly. Sejeong couldn't believer her sober eyes. Nayoung was lying next to her, .

That concluded everything that had happened that night. Holy for Kim Sejeong.

Despite of being sober, Sejeong's feelings for Nayoung haven't changed. She would've bothered to forget since she was gone but seeing her in front of herself, the memories released themselves out of free will. 

Sejeong went to caress Nayoung's face. It was real, the pure skin that felt good to Sejeong's touch. Sejeong held her face, caressing down her neck then at her broad shoulders, causing the girl to wake up.

"Nayoungie..."

Nayoung took some time to realize that she was in a bed and she was . What shocked her was the girl in front of her. With that, Nayoung began to tear up. 

"Sejeong-ah..."

"Nayoungie...I-"

"Sejeong-ah!" Nayoung tackled her for a hug.

Sejeong was still frozen, knowing that it was really Kim Nayoung in front of her. Sejeong heard her cries. Sejeong felt Nayoung and she cried harder. She hugged the taller girl back.

"Sejeong-ah, you're here. I thought I wouldn't see you again." Nayoung nuzzled Sejeong's head. "I'm never letting you go again."

"Nayoungie...my love...you're here..." Sejeong cupped Nayoung's cheeks as she cried. "How...I thought you were dead..."

Sejeong leaned her forehead on Nayoung's, her hear easing of seeing her first love again. She didn't mind of sudden . She was her first love anyways. Nothing much has changed.

"When Imonie made that call, I thought it would be the end of me." Nayoung began as she and Sejeong laid beside each other, looking at each other's eyes. "No one could get my concussion under control."

"And then what happened?" Sejeong asked, her hands running down Nayoung's pink locks.

"Something came to me and I was alive in. I guess the antibiotick kicked in, giving me my strength back. I asked Imonie of that one call but she didn't say anything. I couldn't blame her foe secluding me away from the world. It was for my own good."

"Nayoungie." Sejeong called and gazed at her first love. "I was dying to see you again. I almost forgot you, thinking you were dead. Sally just shut you out. Soyee and Haebin-unnie were devastated. And I..." Sejeong caressed her face. "...I lost hope in love without you..."

"But I'm here now." Nayoung smiled and Sejeong was assured. "Fate has been good this time, letting us meet, drunken in love. Besides, I waited for you for so long, praying that I'll find you."

Sejeong smiled of that statement as she continued to cup Nayoung's face. Nayoung could only close her eyes and feel Sejeong's hand, adding a smile Sejeong ogled for.

"Sejeong-ah..." Nayoung called. "Can we start over and love each other again?"

How could Sejeong do that? She has a wife already. But at the back of her mind, her love for Nayoung was rooted that in seeing her again, she didn't want to say to her that it's too late. She didnt' want to let go of Nayoung again. She wanted to love her too.

Sejeong didn't answer back but she confirmed it by giving Nayoung a passionate kiss.

+++

Hana woke up, hastily rolling over and sighing in relief to see Sejeong asleep beside her. Hana gazed at Sejeong and blushed on how charming her wife was. Not only that, she felt bad for yelling at her yesterday. 

Hana reached to Sejeong's face, feeling the smooth skin and that little scar by her cheek. Hana sighed. Sejeong must've worked too hard. She caressed her face down, then up again, until Sejeong woke up. Hana cupped her face, pinching to kiss Sejeong's lips.

"Good morning, honey..." Hana greeted.

Sejeong would've remembered that incident yesterday but she always had that soft spot for Hana. Sejeong smiled back and greeted back. "Good morning, honey..."

"I'm sorry for yesterday." Hana pouts in front of Sejeong. 

"I'm sorry too." Sejeong smiled.

"I'm not going to disturb you at work again." Hana mumbled.

"You can, Hana. I'll text you next time." Sejeong mumbled back.

"I love you..." Hana nuzzled on Sejeong's neck. "So, so much..."

"I love you too." Sejeong replies.

"Don't you ever leave me." Hana's words hit Sejeong's heart hard. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

With those words, Sejeong made it clear as she confirms a decision that might change her conscience and her whole life forever.

She will continue that big fat lie...

===

That was the sixth, everyone. For the readers who are asking in the comments section regarding the flow of the story, answers will be highlighted throughout the story. All you need to do is just stay tuned and let your utter curiosity get the best of you, hahaha...

Also, I have been writing more stories but I won't be posting them yet. Also, stay tuned for the cover of this fanfic. The internet here is as slow as molasses so I rely on free data, delaying works and updates sometimes.

Anyways, stay tuned. Lovelots from asahdako.