Date

Mark knew statistics claimed people were getting married later in life than they used to, but the business of dating in his late twenties was still completely baffling him. Maybe it was that his boyfriend was a college student who worked (with his ex-wife) during the weekday and attended classes at night, the only time of the day Mark had an open schedule. They were both naturally off work and school on the weekend, but that was Mark's time with Lou—Jinyoung always came over to help Mark watch him now, but it wasn't exactly “dating,” other than the parts where Lou took his afternoon nap or went to sleep in the evening. And even then, Mark and Jinyoung were cautious of being walked in on by a drowsy toddler. Their home dates mainly involved watching movies or chatting over drinks. Quite a few times, Jinyoung had to bring his homework over and do it on the couch while Mark went over paperwork and ran an idle hand through Jinyoung's hair.

“I really need to change my schedule,” Jinyoung mused during Lou's afternoon nap one Saturday. “Or graduate.”

“How much longer do you have?”

“I'm halfway through third year, so one and half more years, then maybe grad school if I need it. Next year is going to be particularly rough since I start student teaching. I'll have to take day classes and give up working for Allison.” He leaned his head against Mark's shoulder. “I love spending time with you and Lou. I just wish the two of us could see each other more often. I have so many date ideas that I haven't gotten to use yet.”

“Like?”

“No spoilers.”

Mark rested his chin on top of Jinyoung's head. “You don't go to Allison's every day, right? You're mainly there when she has a deadline or an appointment or a date.”

“Right.”

“Then tell me what afternoons you have off next week. I'll call off work. I have so much unused vacation time that it's not even funny. Calling off every now and then isn't going to kill me.”

“Seriously? You'd do that for me?”

“I would happily do it for us, Jinyoung. I want to see you, too.”

“How about Wednesday, then?”

“All right. Wednesday it is.” He kissed the top of Jinyoung's head. “I have high expectations for this date, by the way. You set the bar pretty high with Christmas Eve.”

“You were the one who topped it off with the surprise kiss. My expectations also got a bit high after that.”

“I suppose we both have to get work preparing, then,” Mark said with a grin. “I'll anticipate it.”

0

For some reason, Mark had been expecting Jinyoung to settle on a restaurant date (since Mark was footing the bill, and Jinyoung couldn't be eating very much as a broke university student), so he was a little bit surprised when Jinyoung announced they were going to Lake Park Pavilion, which was pretty much just a gazebo with some pretty flowers surrounding it and no nearby places to eat, unless they wanted to stop at one of the taco trucks set up around the park's perimeter.

“It's not far away, so let's walk there,” Jinyoung said, bouncing on his toes. He looked so happy that Mark decided right then and there that no matter what Jinyoung had in mind, it was surely going to be perfect. Just getting to date him at all was a pleasure, and it didn't really matter what they did, as long as they did it together.

It was a pretty spring day, so it was a lovely walk to the park. The leaves on the trees were starting to bud, and lean squirrels were nosing around the park for food after their hibernation. It was windbreaker weather, not too cold at all, and the sun was out, giving the day a brightness that was always refreshing after a long winter.

Jinyoung held onto his hand from the moment they left the house to the moment they reached the park. They'd both been anxious about PDA at first, not knowing if it was safe or not, but with so many gaps in between seeing each other, they usually wanted to touch each other so badly that they had to, regardless of where they were. Something as mild as hand holding seemed doable, so they'd settled on that. At least it was supposed to be mild. Just feeling Jinyoung's skin made Mark's heart race, and now was no exception. There was just something so gentle and reassuring about every single part of him, something he was sure he would never be able to get enough of.

Dating at his age had its difficulties, but it sure felt good, at least.

“Oh good, all the decorations are still up,” Jinyoung said, sighing in relief. “I was worried someone might have taken them down by now.”

Mark stared at the gazebo in surprise. It was normally kept fairly plain and empty, except on 4^th of July when it was covered in red-white-and-blue banners, but today it was practically buried in tulle and flowers. There were even sets of tables and chairs inside, also decorated nicely and covered with pale pink tablecloths.

“There was a wedding here the other night,” Jinyoung explained. “I just thought what they did with the place was so pretty that I wanted to stop by. Besides, there's a little present inside...” He pulled Mark into the gazebo with him. Underneath one of the tables, he'd hidden a cake box from a nearby bakery.

“Wait, I'm not forgetting some sort of anniversary, am I?” Mark asked anxiously as Jinyoung pulled out a strawberry and cream cake.

“Nope. And come on, we have the easiest to remember anniversary. New Year's Eve? It's not even the 31^st of the month, so it can't be an anniversary.”Jinyoung cut him a slice of the cake, shaking his head. “Consider this a special date treat. To sweeten you up.”

“Sweeten me up for what?”

“Eventual taste testing?” Jinyoung his lips, trying to act y, but not quite pulling it off thanks to his eye whiskers making him look downright cute in the moment. “Actually, I wanted to run something important by you now that I have you alone.”

“Yeah?”

“I've been thinking a lot recently. Ever since Allison introduced Jackson to Lou, I've been wondering if our set up right now is okay.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well... you know how ever since we started dating, I made you stop paying me for coming over to help out with Lou? Like I told you, it just felt weird. I mean, there's no way Allison would try to pay Jackson for hanging out with Lou with her these days, so why should you pay me for doing the same when I'm dating you?”

“Right, we went over that a few months ago.”

“And now I'm thinking... maybe it's time I stopped working for Allison.”

Mark looked at him surprise. “Don't you need the money and experience?”

“Not as much anymore. After the summer, I'll need the afternoons free for student teaching anyways, so I wouldn't be able to continue to work for Allison to begin with. And as for money, I barely spend any for the most part, so I've got enough in my savings at the moment.” He looked at Mark seriously. “Even if I'm seeing you, I can't force Allison to stop paying me. And really, I don't want to be a parent-helper to Lou or someone who gets paid for taking care of him. I want...” He hesitated for a moment.

Mark reached over to his hand. “You can tell me, Jinyoung.”

“I want to be to him what Jackson is to him. Someone who loves one of his parents and looks after him not because it's my job, but because... someday I want to be his family.” Jinyoung flushed as soon as the words came out. “It's way too early for me to be saying these things. I know we've only been dating for a few months, but...that's how I feel.”

Mark's heart did a little flip in his stomach. He'd thought about this a lot himself—the fact that the way things were would be hard to explain to Lou one day, but that he also wanted to introduce Jinyoung to his son as not just a friend when the time was right. He didn't know what would happen in the future, but if things continued on as well as they were now, he wanted there to be a way that Jinyoung could be a real part of their family.

“I'd feel bad for Lou if you stopped working for Allison,” Mark said slowly. “He really adores you, you know? He'd miss seeing you every day.”

Jinyoung's shoulders slumped a little. “I know. So you do think it's way too early to start thinking like this?”

“No, I don't. I'm thinking like that, too. Just letting you know, you'll still have some explaining to do to Lou if you quit.” Mark smiled softly. “But you'll have a lot of time to do it. Summer is coming and you'll be off school, right? Let's spend a lot of time together with Lou then. And then when you're student teaching in the fall? You're always welcome to come over in the evening. I'm sure we can figure out through all that what kind of relationship you're headed towards with Lou...and with me.”

Jinyoung lifted his eyes. “You mean it?”

“Of course. You're my boyfriend, aren't you? I can accept that as a fair reason to stop working for Allison if being paid makes you uncomfortable. And I've personally been counting down the days until summer when we can see each other more often. Haven't you?”

Jinyoung nodded eagerly. “There's so many things I've been wanting to do with you and Lou.”

“Great. So it's settled.” Mark polished off his cake. “And I'm hoping you're planning on starting now, considering this is a date, and all.”

Jinyoung grinned. “We only just checked the first item off my to-do list. Next is slow dancing in the gazebo.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Then going to the lake to feed bread to the ducks. And after that, brunch. Then going home to do that lip taste testing I was talking about earlier.”

“Slow dancing in the gazebo?”

“You fixate on such silly things,” Jinyoung laughed. He took Mark's hand and pulled him upwards. “Come on, we're doing it. As a thank you.”

“For...?”

“For not outright rejecting me as a potential part of your family. I'll make sure I don't waste that chance.”

Mark grumbled a little, but got to his feet. “I'll make sure I don't waste it either.”

Touch

Mark pulled open the drawer of the end table next to his bed where he kept his pain relievers and was greeted to the sight of a book with a dude with chocolate abs and the words “HOW TO TOP LIKE A STUD: A Penetrating Guide to Gay ” written in bold across the cover stacked on top of his knick-knacks and medicine.

He wasn't surprised. Three weeks ago, he's found a box of condoms in the drawer that he hadn't bought, considering he hadn't slept with anyone since Allison had announced that she wanted to split. The week after that, it was a bottle of lube. The week after that, Jinyoung had strongly hinted that he wanted to spend the night on Thursday, which Mark had pretended not to catch on to. Now here was “the manual.”

It wasn't that Mark didn't want to have . The things they were doing now felt great, but it wasn't enough. Every time Jinyoung stayed over and they were in bed together, Mark was sorely tempted to take it all the way, but at the same time, he was very much terrified of giving in. He wasn't ready on a technical or pride based level yet. It wasn't an easy thing to forget being a previously incompetent lover, and he was 100% sure Jinyoung was going to be as unimpressed by him as Allison had been.

Not that Allison had ever said as much to his face. She had married him, after all, so obviously she had considered other things more important than that. But he'd gathered pretty quickly from the amount of performance and pleasure enhancing goods she'd purchased while trying to get pregnant that he hadn't been doing very much for her on his own. That was the story of their marriage, in the end—both the emotional love and the physical had been extremely lacking on Mark's side.

Of course, since he'd finally opened up to emotional love with Jinyoung, maybe the physical love could come easier for him this time. He tried to think positively along those lines, but sometimes he really wasn't sure. What if he completely blew it with Jinyoung, too? And he knew even without reading his new manual that there were a whole lot of things that could go wrong doing it with another guy if he performed poorly. He probably wasn't going to be some miraculous topping stud like the ripped guys in Jinyoung's manual. He wasn't sure the word “stud” even applied to him in the slightest.

Unfortunately, Jinyoung was being so obvious about it that it was getting harder for him to avoid talking about it. They both had some time off coming up on Labor Day, and they were planning on spending the day together—there was no way Jinyoung was going to let him put it off much longer. Mark didn't want to know what Jinyoung would decide to drop off into his drawer next time, but he was getting the feeling he'd have to start child-proofing his room if things escalated from this.

Jinyoung came over early on Labor Day, so Mark made them both chocolate chip pancakes as a treat. After he'd served them up and sat down at the table across from Jinyoung, he took a deep breath and prayed that this discussion would somehow go better than the ones he'd role played with his mirror the night before.

“Um, Jinyoung,” Mark said, stirring his pancakes around in a puddle of syrup. “I noticed that you've been dropping hints-”

“That I want to have ?” Jinyoung interrupted. “Because I want to have .”

“Yeah, I kind of noticed.”

“You could have fooled me. You never mentioned the condoms.”

“Well, I noticed them. And your other two gifts.”

“And...?” Jinyoung looked at him anxiously. “Look, I get that it might be worrisome to you since I'm your first guy, but it's really not that difficult. I mean, my part will be more difficult than yours, but I'm well-prepared thanks to thinking you and I would be getting around to this ages ago and such, so...” He froze. “Unless you're totally disgusted by the idea of doing it with me, and that's why you've been ignoring my hints.”

“That's not it!” Mark said quickly, before Jinyoung's depressed look could deepen. “I don't know if you missed the memo, but I happen to be in love with you, and I don't see why the person I love should disgust me.”

“Then is there some other reason you don't want to do it?” Jinyoung bit his lips. “The book I got you did address health and hygiene concerns, if that's what you're worried about.”

“That's not it either.” Mark grimaced. “It's just... in general.”

“Oh.” Jinyoung shifted in his seat. “Uh... well, I'm not sure how to get into this with you without getting into Allison's business. I may not be working for her anymore, but still...”

Mark shook his head. “I guess we need to talk about it a little to sort this out. It's not that I'm incapable or anything. I mean, we obviously had a kid together. But I don't think my level of involvement in it was the same as hers. Let's just say that if she got anything out of it, it was because she worked for it.”

“Don't you think that's because you were still having trouble expressing your love back then?” Jinyoung asked gently.

“I don't know. But it could be that I just at it.” He sighed. “I really don't want you to have a bad experience because of me. Not after everything else has gone so well.”

Jinyoung looked at him seriously. “You know, this isn't something I've ever done before either. You've at least done it with a woman, but I haven't done it with anyone. I could just as badly, if not worse. Not that I want you to be thinking of that, but honestly, both you and I have no idea what it's going to be like. Maybe it won't be fantastic the first time, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Can't we figure this out together?”

“But if-”

“No 'ifs', okay? We don't know what will happen.” Jinyoung took a deep breath. “But I think you and I are compatible. We love each other. Because of those two things, I'm sure we'll figure out how to make it good for each other. Let's not just count ourselves out before we even start, all right?”

Mark nodded slowly. God, he was pitiful. Even as the older of the two, he was always the one constantly seeking reassurance that he wasn't doing things wrong or that Jinyoung was properly satisfied with him. Love was still a hard thing to wrap his head around, but he wanted to be everything he could possibly be for Jinyoung. He didn't want to disappoint him, but maybe planning to fail before trying was even more disappointing than trying and failing.

Jinyoung's seductive smile returned. “Besides, I don't think it's going to be a problem. I read the other version of that book I got you, How to Bottom Like a Star, and I'm pretty sure I picked up a few things that will send us both to heaven.”

Mark started choking on his pancakes.

“I hope that was you choking in anticipation,” Jinyoung said with a mild glare.

“Why are you like this?” Mark asked, out of breath.

“Because you love it.” Jinyoung leaned into him, brushing their lips together. “And you're only going to love it even more.”

0

Mark stared at Jinyoung tangled in his sheets. He was so pretty—he'd always been, but Mark saw him now in a new light. It was amazing how love taught you to keep seeing new sides to other people, and to learn new things about yourself at the same time. Being together with Jinyoung had shown him what an untamed and passionate person he'd fallen in love with, and shown him that he himself, who'd always been a person of few strong emotions or passions, was the same beneath the surface.

“See?” Jinyoung said, tipping his sweat drenched face upwards. “Wasn't so bad, was it?”

“You weren't,” Mark said, a little breathless himself. “You were perfect.”

“Now you're just exaggerating. You were good, too.” He pressed his cheek against the warm skin of Mark's stomach. “I felt like you really love me.”

“I wasn't making that clear enough these past few months?”

“You have,” Jinyoung said, smiling. “I know you don't like being anxious around me, since you're an old man and should be setting a good example, but every time you're anxious, it just proves to me how much this matters to you and that you want to do it the right way. And the thing you don't even realize is that because you take so much care and think so much of it, everything you do is so much more tender and loving than you think it is. You said when we got together that if you didn't make me feel like the most treasured person on the planet, you were wasting my time, right? But you make me feel like that. You absolutely do.”

“I thought I was supposed to top like a stud, not a careful, tender person.” Still, he was grinning ear to ear. Jinyoung also made him feel like the most treasured person on the planet, and he couldn't imagine himself feeling any happier than this.

“Mmm, now you're looking down on yourself.” He ran a teasing hand against Mark's arm muscles and then down his chest. “For an old man, you're quitestudly.”

“What's with this old man business?”

“According to Lou, you're pretty much a grandpa.”

“Just you wait. Once you're established as the boyfriend instead of the babysitter, you're going to age yourself.”

“I look forward to it. As long as I turn into a silver fox like you.”

“Silver? Where do you see silver?” Mark flattened his hand against his dark hair. “Is this your idea of pillowtalk?”

“You'll just have to keep getting me in bed to figure that one out.” Jinyoung leaned up and kissed Mark's jaw. “I look forward to learning more with you in the future.”

Spook

“DADDY!” a loud voice yelled, yanking Mark out of the dream he'd been having. Lou was standing at the foot of his bed, clutching his blankie and trembling. “There's a monster in my room.”

“Oh, kiddo,” Mark said softly. He propped himself up in bed. Jinyoung stirred beside him, cracking open an eye. It was summer now, so he'd been spending the night at Mark's as he usually did nowadays. Lou had probably realized “Jinny” was live-in at this point, but he was too young to think anything of it. He was just happy to get to see his precious buddy more often, now that Jinyoung had stopped working for Allison.

“I'm scared, Daddy,” Lou whispered.

“Do you want me to go check out your room and scare it off for you?”

Lou shook his head rapidly. “No, Daddy, it's big and it will get you! Don't go.” He climbed up onto the bed, clinging to Mark's neck. “It was bigger than Godzilla!”

“I don't know, I'm pretty tough myself.”

Lou looked at him skeptically. Jinyoung stifled a snicker beside him.

“You know something about monsters, Lou?” Jinyoung asked once he'd stopped laughing, ruffling Lou's hair. “They're just like us. They're scaredy cats. That's why they try and scare us all the time, so they can feel better about themselves. Do you know what they're scared of?”

Lou shook his head, wide eyed.

“They're afraid of the sun. They act all cool trying to creep up on you at night, but that's just because they're not brave enough to do it in the morning.”

“It's pretty silly to be scared of the sun, isn't it?” Mark joined in, seeing where Jinyoung was going.

“You spend every day out in the sun without being scared, after all,” Jinyoung finished. “That's because you're a brave, big boy. Remember how we went to the park this afternoon?”

Lou nodded.

“If the monster followed you to the park, he'd have to run away screaming from the sun. And if he tried to go out for ice cream with us afterwards?”

“He'd cry!” Lou said triumphantly.

“Right! Now isn't that just sad? Mr. Monster can't even go outside and play and eat ice cream! No wonder he's so grumpy! It's because he's such a big baby that he never gets to have fun!”

“The sun isn't scary,” Lou scoffed. “It's just the sun.”

“That's right. You know better than Mr. Monster. Mr. Monster may be big, but you're bigger.” Jinyoung place his finger on Lou's chest, over his heart. “Here.” He lifted his finger to Lou's forehead. “And right here.”

“So do you think maybe we can scare off scaredy Mr. Monster after all?” Mark asked.

“It's okay,” Lou said, confidently now. “The sun will get him in the morning. I'll sleep here with you and Jinny.”

Jinyoung and Mark glanced at each other and shrugged. They had room enough in their bed, and it wasn't as if they were planning on doing anything, since they were still half-asleep. Without waiting for an answer, Lou slid off Mark's lap and snuggled into the spot between Mark and Jinyoung.

“All right,” Mark conceded. “Just for the night.”

“Next time, we'll get you a flashlight to shine on Mr. Monster when he tries to scare you, okay?” Jinyoung said.

Lou nodded. “Night night, Jinny.” He planted a wet kiss on Jinyoung's cheek. “Night night, Daddy.” He planted another on Mark's.

It didn't take long for Lou to doze off after all the excitement of his bad dream, and Jinyoung was back asleep shortly after him. Mark, who still felt awake after the interruption, propped himself up again to look at them.

Lou was getting bigger every day, and already he'd already grown quite a bit from the day Jinyoung had first come into Mark's life. All three of them had done a lot of changing in such a short amount of time. Mark, who'd imagined it would always just be him and his son together after he and Allison had split, was somewhat amazed at how glad he was that he'd altered his outlook and welcomed someone else in. Lou just looked so natural curled up beside Jinyoung, a person the two of them both shared love for. And every time Jinyoung was there for his son in moments like this, looking at him as someone worth treating gently not just because he was Mark's son, but he because he was someone Jinyoung also cared deeply about, Mark fell in love a little more than before.

Maybe they weren't quite a family yet. Jinyoung and Mark still had plenty of time still left to spend together, and all three of them still had more growing to do. But looking at them now, Mark was sure they'd get there one day. His greatest wish had always been to be a part of a family, and this one was the most beautiful he'd ever found.

-PART ONE END-

A/N: VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

Many of you have asked, but I haven't given any information about the length of C&G yet, but I will now ^^ As you can see above, Part One just ended...and there are three more parts to come, following our boys at different stages of their life/relationship! I mean, you can't have domestic Markjin without them living together and raising their kid as boyfies, can you?

As of now, the current chapter outline has 30+ chapters :D

BUT. I still have some work to do finishing up the next part, so C&G will be going on a little hiatus while I work on writing. However, I have another story ready and waiting for publication to start posting during the break, so I hope you can enjoy it in the meantime and wait patiently for the return of this story! Thank you for your continued support!