By time Tuesday rolled around, Mark felt the tell-tale scratchiness building in .

It happened every year like clockwork. Whenever winter rolled around, he'd catch a cold within weeks. And they weren't just mild colds, either. They were full week colds of sniffles, hacking coughs, and all around exhaustion.

The cold hit full force on Wednesday, so Mark opted to work from home to focus on recovering as quickly as possible. He couldn't have Lou over when he was sick like this since kids were liable to pick up every virus they crossed, but he still couldn't help hoping that he would luck out this time and the bug would leave him as soon as it came.

Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, he wasn't so lucky. He spent most of Thursday voiceless and congested, too tired to do anything more than stew in bed all day, sick and miserable. When Friday rolled around, he had to go back to work to attend a meeting, though his co-workers still gave him a wide berth when they heard the pitiful coughs coming from his cubicle.

At noon, he finally had to break down and call Allison.

“Allie, I don't think I'll be able to take Lou today,” he rasped into the phone.

“Oh, god, you got sick again,” she sighed sympathetically. “I hope it's not as bad as last time?”

“About as bad,” Mark admitted.

“Lou will be so sorry to hear it, but at least it didn't happen Christmas week. You'll have more than enough time to get better before the holidays roll around. Is your kitchen stocked? Do you have enough to eat? Do you need me to bring over anything?”

“I'm fine, but thanks for offering.”

“All right. You take care of yourself, okay? Don't skimp on taking your medicine.”

“I won't.”

Mark hung up and gathered his briefcase together. He'd already attended the meeting, so his boss had given him leave to go back home and take his germs with him. Mark was well enough to finish up his paperwork at home, so it wasn't a total loss.

Before he could make it out of his cubicle, Lucy appeared in the entrance, giving him an “oh-poor-you” look that only made his already throbbing throat feel worse.

“I heard that you were sick,” she said in a syrupy voice. “It's so sad that there's no one to look after you at home. If you want, I could pop over after work and make you a little soup for dinner? Everyone says my minestrone is world class.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Mark said hoarsely. He certainly sounded like he needed soup, and even kind of wanted it. But not at the price of being flirted with when he wanted nothing more than to laze around in his ratty pajamas. “I don't want you to catch what I've got.”

Her expression instantly melted. “You're so sweet! Let me know if you're feeling better on Saturday or Sunday so I can come over when you're out of quarantine.”

Not going to happen, Mark thought, but no way was he wasting any more of his fading voice on this discussion.

As soon as he was back home, he tossed on pajamas and climbed underneath the covers. He had just enough energy to deal with the majority of his paperwork before he set it aside and dozed off on his stack of pillows.

He woke up a few hours later when he heard the doorbell ringing. Praying it wasn't Lucy, he pulled himself out of bed to answer the door.

To his surprise, Jinyoung was on the other side of the door. “Um, hi,” he said, looking a little downcast. “I overheard your conversation with Allison. You got sick because of our outing?”

“No, no, no,” Mark said quickly, quietly cursing his voice for sounding like a croaking toad's. “I'm sure I caught a bug. I always do around this time of year. Don't blame yourself.”

“Oh, wow,” Jinyoung said at the sound of Mark's voice. “This isn't good. Whether you tell me to blame myself or not, I still feel bad. Here.” He a shopping bag into Mark's arms. “I bought the Cold & Flu aisle at Walgreens for you. I also bought you some soup for dinner, which I'm hoping you're going let me make since you're about two seconds away from keeling over.”

Mark belatedly glanced down at his pajamas. He was wearing green and white plaid baggy pants and a white long sleeved shirt that had a mysterious stain on the front, probably from him drooling while he'd been asleep. Tissues were spilling from the pockets. Mark cursed himself for not having the foresight to clean up before answering the door.

“You really shouldn't come in,” Mark said. “I'm probably contagious.”

Jinyoung gestured to the bag. “I bought disinfectant and face masks on top of everything else. I'll take the risk. You really need to eat something, okay?”

Mark couldn't think of any other excuse to stop him with how cloudy his head was, so reluctantly he stepped aside and let Jinyoung through.

“Please go back to bed,” Jinyoung said gently after he'd unpacked his shopping bag onto the counter. He hadn't lied—he'd pretty much bought out an entire cold and flu care package. “I'll take care of the cooking.”

“Just don't put any cinnamon in it,” Mark joked weakly. He took some of the medication and a fresh box of tissues back to his bedroom with him. He considered putting on new pajamas, but Jinyoung had already seen the disgusting ones, so what was the point?

He still couldn't believe he'd shown up. He could understand Jinyoung feeling guilty to a certain extent, but wasn't this a little much? If he wasn't careful with the disinfectant, he could wind up sick himself.

But at the same time, Mark was a little grateful. He definitely hadn't been taking the best care of himself on his own, and he didn't mind the idea of being a bit pampered, provided Jinyoung didn't go overboard. Although technically he already had: Mark knew medicine didn't come cheap. He'd have to pay him back later.

While Jinyoung was busy in the kitchen, Mark cleaned up his pile of used tissues and neatened up his stacks of paperwork. He had a feeling Jinyoung would be popping in shortly, and he didn't want the first glimpse of his bedroom to be a nasty one.

Sure enough, Jinyoung showed up within the next few minutes. “I've got the soup on the burner,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad, comparatively. I even made it into work for a little bit this morning.”

“Allison said this happens to you a lot?”

“Yeah. I'm a cold magnet for some reason. I'm almost used to it at this point.”

“You should go south for the winter.”

Mark smiled. “My family's originally from California. Maybe I'm just not used to the cold.”

“Well, hopefully your body will get used to it eventually. By the way, this is for you.” Jinyoung passed him a piece of red construction paper. On it, Lou had scribbled a picture of Mark with Xs for eyes and a thermometer in his mouth. In neat print underneath it, either Jinyoung or Allison had written “Get Better Soon, Daddy! Love Lou, Allison, and Jinyoung.”

Mark grinned, running his finger against the picture. “Thanks for this. I miss the little guy already.”

“He wants me to remind you to that he told you not to get a cold.”

“I wish I had listened.”

“I'm hoping my miracle soup will cure you so you'll be all better for next week. We can't have you sick around Christmastime!”

Mark groaned. “I have so much shopping left. I can't be sick then.”

“Great. Let's focus on getting you better.”

Jinyoung went back to the kitchen after a few more minutes and returned with two bowls of soup and a glass of pineapple juice for Mark. “This should do the trick,” he said. “Wait for it to cool, though—I don't want you burning your throat just because you can't feel it at the moment.”

Mark blew on the soup, then took a sip of the juice. His taste buds were a little too dulled to appreciate the flavor, but the sensation of it going down was soothing.

When the steam coming off the soup had lessened a little, Jinyoung took a sip. “Kind of salty?” he murmured, wrinkling his nose. “This is no good.”

Mark took a sample sip, but like with the pineapple juice, couldn't really tell the flavor. “It's good enough for me.”

“Somehow it doesn't make me feel better that if you were healthy, you'd totally be gagging right now,” Jinyoung said glumly. “My roommates tell me I'm a joke when it comes to the kitchen.”

“I'm sure you're good at other things.”

“Like decorating Christmas trees? That's only practical once a year.” Jinyoung looked at him solemnly. “Really, you shouldn't be talking so much. Your voice is so weak, and putting stress on it can't be helping.”

“Then you talk to me,” Mark said.

“About...?”

“Anything. You.”

“Me?” Jinyoung paused. “Well, as I told you, I was born in Korea. I moved here when I was fourteen. I got into a special program because I was in the top scoring percentile of my school in English, and I have an uncle who lives here on top of it. I liked it so much that I decided to stay and continue my education. And now I'm in university for early childhood education.” He frowned. “I guess that was the extremely abbreviated version.”

“Can you tell me?” Mark said softly. “The reason why you were afraid of falling in love?”

Jinyoung looked at him in surprise. “You don't want to hear about that one.”

“It could help put my situation into perspective.”

“Fine, fine. Remember, you're not supposed to be talking.” Jinyoung took a seat at the foot of the bed. “It's a little bit of a sensitive subject. Still. I had this wild crush on my neighbor when I was younger, and I did something crazy and went and told them about it. I got turned down, panicked, and ran away to America.”

Mark gave him a look. Just because a puppy love hadn't worked out? There had to be more to the story than that.

Jinyoung remained silent for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Okay, yeah, obviously that wasn't all. My neighbor was a guy. I told him on a whim. When he turned me down, he told me he wouldn't tell anyone, but once something's out in the open, you can't control what happens to it anymore. I was convinced it would slip out and everyone would know, and I didn't even know how to explain it to my parents, and I was just...terrified. So I thought a change of scenery was necessary. America seemed as good of a place as any to hide.”

Jinyoung looked at Mark, who tried to give him a sympathetic look since he wasn't supposed to say anything out loud.

“Well, you're not throwing me out after that,” Jinyoung said softly. “That's something.”

Mark didn't think staying silent would help in this case. “I don't get bothered by things like that.”

“Well, not everyone can say the same. Even here, I wasn't really sure of myself anymore. In situations where I'd normally feel things like attraction or love, I'd just feel nausea instead. Just the thought of confessing to someone a second time in my life made me want to vomit. Naturally, that convinced me to block out love and all things having to do with it rather than feel sick and weak all the time.”

“Then?”

“I stayed that way for a long time. I got too comfortable with it. But then I met Allison, and she told me I reminded her of someone she knew with how I avoided the whole love thing.” Jinyoung's lips quirked a little. “I didn't know until later that she meant you. Anyways, she sat me down and asked if I wanted to talk about it. And since I'd never talked about it up until then, I thought maybe it was time. So we talked. And she looked me right in the eye and said 'Jinyoung, life is far too short to be afraid of who you are. Your heart is the one truth you carry inside you. If you destroy that truth because of other people, you'll never be able to forgive yourself. Why don't you listen to what the you you've buried deep inside you wants to do?'”

Mark smiled. That sounded just like Allison. She'd always been decisive and sure of herself—other women may have stewed over the idea of divorcing, but she knew what she wanted and what her heart was telling her to do. Mark wasn't at all surprised that that was the advice she'd also given to Jinyoung.

“I thought she was a little crazy,” Jinyoung admitted. “It sounded like a weird, new age-y thing to do, 'communicating with my inner self'. But when I got home, I couldn't stop thinking of it. What did I actually want to do? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I definitely didn't want to live my entire life without falling in love. I couldn't cure myself right away, of course, but I tried to do what little things I could. I tried to find every little part of my life where I was hiding or faking something and transform back into what my natural instincts were telling me to do. It was hard, but...” Jinyoung suddenly looked down at his hands, smiling to himself. “The pay off was worth it. It's natural for your heart to flutter when you see a handsome stranger or someone who's the exact kind of person you want to meet, and to feel that flutter after so many years of having it come attached to fear and nausea? It's the absolute best.”

Mark nodded. He hadn't felt it himself, but the way Jinyoung talked about it made him want to more than he ever had before.

“Anyways,” Jinyoung said softly. “That's my story. Just a normal young adult with young adult hang ups, right? I'm grateful to Allison, though. She was going through her own thing, but she took the time to work through mine.”

Mark nodded. “She's always been like that. She's got a good heart.”

“Ah, I shouldn't say this, but you shouldn't have let her go.”

“I think more than ever that I should have. She deserves to share her heart with the best possible person.”

“Don't go underestimating yourself, either.” Jinyoung leaned in and placed his hand on Mark's forehead. “Did the soup help at all?”

“My throat feels a bit more relaxed.”

“Good.” Jinyoung smiled sweetly. “You'll have to tell me your story some time when your throat is feeling better. Although I guess I know some of it. Allison kept all your pictures together from university, and Lou just loves looking at them.”

Mark flushed. Oh god. If it wasn't bad enough that Jinyoung had seen him sick and in his pajamas, he'd also seen him at the height of his sloppy slacker look.

“No need to look embarrassed,” Jinyoung chuckled. “You looked really good with red hair, by the way. Even if it looked like ramen.”

Ugh. He'd have to get Allison to burn those pictures next time he was over.

“So, is there anything else I can do around here?” Jinyoung asked. “You're probably going to be sick a few more days, so do you need any help cleaning?”

“I couldn't ask you to do that. I already have to pay you back for all the medicine.”

Jinyoung looked taken aback for a moment. “Um, couldn't you just take that as an out-of-the-goodness-of-my-heart thing? You can pay me for helping out with Lou, but things like this...”

“It's still work of a sort.”

Jinyoung shook his head adamantly. “Look, I can't accept money for this. If I was going into this with the mindset of 'helping my boss,' maybe, but I'm not. I'd feel bad if...well, if I took money for something...” He trailed off. “Just don't pay me for it. Please.”

“If you insist,” Mark said, surprised at the force with which Jinyoung spoke. He guessed it was a matter of pride, and didn't want to push it. “But no on the cleaning, all right? You need to go home and do your homework like a good kid.”

“I'm not a kid,” Jinyoung said, frowning. “But I guess I do need to let you sleep. You'll text me with health updates, right? If you don't, I'll get worried.”

“I will, I promise.”

“All right. In that case, rest well.” He reached over and patted Mark's hand. “And don't forget, you absolutely have to get better for Christmas Eve. You promised to have me over, didn't you?”

Mark nodded. “I will.”

“Good. I'm holding you to that.”

Mark leaned back into his pillows when Jinyoung left. Something in the atmosphere felt strange. He was sick enough to where was numb and he could barely feel or taste anything, but he felt this so strongly that it shocked his dulled senses. But what exactly was it? Whatever it was felt odd and uncomfortable, like an itch under the surface of the skin. But at the same time, it didn't feel bad, per se. Just new and unfamiliar and thus hard to know what to do with it.

“Why don't you listen to what the you you've buried deep inside you wants to do?” Mark murmured to himself. But his brain was too foggy to know what the heck that would be, and he didn't have the energy to pull it out of him. There was nothing left to do but sink into the bed and sleep all the strangeness and fog off.