Mark still hadn't recovered from the kiss by time he arrived at Allison's the next day.

It was kind of a hard thing to stop thinking about. He'd kissed Jinyoung. Jinyoung had kissed him. With tongue. But no discussion of emotions had happened afterwards. And Mark still wasn't all the way clear on his. He knew that he'd liked the kiss. He knew that he really liked Jinyoung.

He also knew he'd just recently divorced from someone who he'd thought he'd really liked as well, and that he'd made her unhappy by not loving her enough. He didn't want that to happen a second time, but he didn't really know how to prevent it other than to not pursue Jinyoung at all, in spite of how much he'd enjoyed the kiss.

He was grateful that Lou charged right into his arms after Allison opened the door, insisting he was ready to open all the presents Santa had gotten him (Allison had stopped by Mark's place to pick up his wrapped gifts for Lou so they were ready for him under the tree). Mark let himself get wrapped up into Lou's infectious energy and pulled into the living room where the presents were waiting.

Allison's parents gave him a frosty greeting when he stepped in, but he decided to ignore it and be pleasant to them so as not to make things difficult for his ex-wife. Today was about Lou for him, and nothing else. He even resolved to push Jinyoung out of his mind for the time being.

Lou tore through his first few presents, running up to Allison and Mark whenever there was a box to open or he wanted to show something off. It felt just like old times, and Mark fell into the familiar comfort of it.

While Lou was distracted with the fire truck Mark had gotten him, Mark leaned into Allison. “So, how was Jackson yesterday?” he asked quietly. He doubted she'd told her parents of her new relationship yet.

“He's doing fine,” Allison said, unable to hold back her smile. “We had a nice brunch at his place and exchanged our gifts.”

“So? What did he get you?”

“A Pandora bracelet.” She lifted up her arm to show him a pretty bracelet covered in heart charms. “Also, this.” She pulled a perfume bottle out of her bathrobe. It had a custom, print-on label that read “World Peace Perfume.” Mark couldn't help but chuckle.

“I'm glad you were able to see him for Christmas Eve,” he said. “Do you think you're going to introduce him to Lou soon?”

“I don't know. Let's talk about it later, you and I. Lou's still pretty young to understand about us being split up and what that means, and I really have no idea how to explain having a new boyfriend to him when he already has his Daddy. We should do our research and figure out the best way to handle to situation before we introduce Jackson.”

Mark nodded. He was personally okay with Jackson getting to know his son, but he also agreed with Allison. It had to be done in a way that Lou could understand.

“By the way, I was thinking about letting you take Lou home for the night,” Allison said. “I have to drive my parents out to the airport, and I can't call Jinyoung to step in on a holiday. Would you mind?”

“I'd love to have him. Jinyoung got him a Christmas present and left it at my apartment, so he'll have another gift waiting for him there. He also decorated the room really nicely for Christmas yesterday, and I think Lou would like to see it.”

“Did he? I'm sure that would be lovely, then.” She looked like she was going to say something more, but Lou ran up to her carrying a pirate kit he wanted her to open for him.

“Has Santa been good to you this year, Lou?” Mark asked, tickling him on his belly.

Lou nodded. “He read my list at the mall and remembered everything!”

“That's because Santa wanted you to be happy and remind you to be good next year.”

“I'll be very good!” Lou said, puffing out his chest. “Except when I'm a pirate, because pirates are bad!”

“There can be good pirates, too,” Allison reminded him, wrapping his new pirate-y polka dot bandanna around his head. “And you'll be the very best pirate, won't you?”

“Uh-uh!” Lou proudly brandished his cutlass. “I'll fight Cap'n Hook!” He ran back to the Christmas tree to finish opening the rest of his presents.

When he'd opened and tried out all of his new gifts, Allison got him all dressed up for church, and they trooped off to the afternoon service together. The pastor at the church Allison had taken them to had a sonorous voice, and Mark quickly felt his mind wandering back to places it didn't need to be going.

He didn't know what he was supposed to say when he saw Jinyoung again after what happened. Were they going to go back to their old friendly banter and act like it was no big thing, a product of wine and the Christmas spirit? Did Jinyoung want Mark to talk about it with him? Were they dating now? Was Mark even capable of dating? Allison had done most of the work when they'd gone out in college, planning dates and handling anniversaries and initiating skinship. If Jinyoung wanted Mark to be in the lead, Mark would have to learn how to actually lead.

But should he even date Jinyoung in the first place? He didn't want to disappoint Jinyoung. He didn't know how deeply he was capable of loving, and Jinyoung deserved to be loved without hesitation or reservation by someone who wasn't so cowardly as Mark.

Allison elbowed him hard in the ribs and Mark snapped to attention. The rest of the congregation was kneeling, so Mark quickly sunk into the hard padding of the kneeler. Please, God, he prayed, leaning into his folded hands. Whatever happens, please let me do the right thing. I don't want to blow this. No matter what.

When they got back, Allison handed a dozing Lou off to her mother and father. “Could you tuck him in and make sure he falls asleep?” she asked. “I need to borrow Mark and get to work on the Christmas ham.”

Allison's mother gave her a look, as if she didn't understand why her daughter wanted to be alone with rotten heartbreaker Mark, but she accepted her grandson nonetheless.

When her parents were out of the way, she pulled Mark into the kitchen and sat him down at the table. “We need to talk,” she said.

“Weren't we doing that earlier?” Mark asked.

“That was about me and Jackson. This is about you.” She smiled at him gently. “I wanted to know how Christmas Eve with Jinyoung went yesterday.”

“It went fi-” Mark froze. “Wait, how did you know about that?”

“I didn't. You just confirmed. I knew you had plans with someone on Christmas Eve because you said so yourself, and you also said earlier that Jinyoung was over at your place yesterday, decorating. I can put two and two together.” She looked at Mark seriously. “So?”

“So...?”

“I see Jinyoung quite frequently, Mark,” she said. “I'm not blind to noticing how much the atmosphere around him has changed since he met you. He really likes you, I can tell.”

“Does he?” Mark asked curiously. “Has he said?”

“Mark, you sound like a teenage girl right now. Do you think he'd say as much to your ex-wife?” She sighed. “Look, I don't want to pry. This is your life, and I have to let you live it since I'm not in a position to boss you around anymore. But I also care about Jinyoung, and I care about his relationship with Lou. I don't want you to date him if you're not planning on actually committing, since any resulting breakup would make it difficult for him to be close to Lou. You understand me, right?”

Mark nodded stiffly.

“Good. If you want to talk about it with me or work through your thought process, I'm here for you. And please don't worry about hurting my feelings. If you love him more than you loved me, that's fine. If you're not sure, that's also fine. I just want to help you in any way I possibly can as someone who cares about you and our family.”

Mark bit his lips, trying to articulate the right words to say. “I do like him. A lot. I know it hasn't been that long since we met, but already I've really gotten attached to having him around. I like talking to him. I love how great he is with Lou.”

“Yes, Mark, but I'm pretty sure you could have said the same for me when we were together,” Allison reminded him. “The passion you didn't feel that strongly with me... is it there?”

“Um...well, let's just say that something is definitely there. But I haven't felt this way before. I don't know what to do with it or how to handle it. I'm kind of lost.” He lowered his voice. “I never really wanted more out of life than to be comfortable. I wanted a happy family and to work at a good job and grow up without a lot of worries. And now...frankly I'm kind of worried. I'm worried about myself and not being good enough. I'm worried about disappointing him and hurting him like I hurt you.”

Allison's eyes widened. “Mark. Don't you know what a good sign that is? You're supposed to live your life with worries. Showing concern and having to think about what you're doing and why is a part of being alive. That you're finally showing enough energy to have that concern is great, Mark. It's good to be comfortable, but the world really isn't a comfortable place. The heart isn't designed to lead us down only comfortable paths. If you love something or someone enough to show passion and have worries about them and want to be more for their sake, isn't that a beautiful thing?”

Mark nodded slowly. “I guess you're right.”

“I know I am. Look, it's up to you what happens now in regards to Jinyoung. But you should talk to him. Rather than just diving in or running away, it might work better to explain what's going on in your mind. He really cares about you. I'm 100% sure about that. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help you work through whatever you're worried about and tell you what's on his own mind. Honestly, that's how it was for Jackson and me. We had a lot of long chats before we actually started going out.”

“I guess that's as good of an idea as any.” Mark looked at her curiously. “You're sure you're okay with this? Especially considering from the angle that Jinyoung is a man?”

Allison shrugged. “I want you to be happy. I made you happy, but not 100%. I want you to have the whole pie Mark Tuan, and if he's the whole pie, then so be it. As for him being a man, if that doesn't detract from your happiness, it doesn't detract from mine.” She paused. “Although if you do start going out, we'll have to do some research about how to address it with Lou, just like with me and Jackson. But that's what being first time parents is all about, anyways. Figuring out how to explain the world to our little human.” She rose to her feet, clapping her hands. “Now. Seriously, you and I have to get to work on that ham. I'm guessing you carried off dinner last night all by yourself considering Jinyoung can't cook, so I'm not planning on letting you pass the whole job off on me. We're doing this together.”

“Fine by me, Allie,” Mark said with a grin. “It would be an honor.”

Lou had to put on his pirate gear again before Mark took him home. “I'll swashbuckle, Daddy!” he explained as Mark got him into his car seat. “I'm a mighty pirate.”

“And did Pirate Lou have a very merry Christmas?”

“Yes! Let's do it again!”

“Next year?”

“Right now!”

“Well, there's one more gift waiting for you at home, but after that, you'll definitely have to do it again next year.”

Lou was all excited about the prospect of a new gift, and practically bounded into the apartment as soon as Mark got the door open. He squealed in delight as soon as he saw all the decorations Jinyoung had put up. “Daddy, Daddy!” he yelled, pointing to the snowflakes. “The North Pole came.”

“I know, isn't it beautiful?” Mark lifted him up so he could touch the glitter snowflakes. “Santa also left you behind a little friend.” He carried him over to the bookshelf. “Lou, meet Fishy.”

Lou stared at his new pet in awe. “For me?”

“Yes. He's your new friend. We'll take good care of him, won't we?”

“Yes, yes, yes! Daddy, can we feed Fishy? Does he want to eat?”

“Of course he does. Fishy hasn't had his Christmas dinner yet, so he's very hungry. Let me show you how.” Mark didn't remember most of what Jinyoung had told him the other day, so he quickly read on the container how much he was supposed to shake in. Once he got the correct amount, he demonstrated to Lou.

“Can I feed him now?” Lou asked.

“Since Daddy just fed him, Fishy's going to be all full up. You can feed him tomorrow morning, okay?”

“Then can we visit Jinny and Professor Squirrel?”

Mark was pretty sure Professor Squirrel, who'd been created before Mark's cold episode, had already collapsed at this point, and he wasn't sure the best time to have his talk with Jinyoung was when Lou was around. “We'll see,” he said simply.

Lou spent an hour making up a pirate adventure involving rescuing Fishy from sharks before it was time to put him to bed. Mark was a bit sleepy himself, but his mind was still going. He still had to figure out where and when he'd be talking to Jinyoung about what had happened.

He grabbed his phone, noticing that Jinyoung had sent him a Merry Christmas text when he'd been busy helping Allison with dinner. Rather than texting back, he decided to just it up and call him.

“Merry Christmas!” Jinyoung said brightly when he picked up. “How are Lou and Allison?”

“We had a nice day. Lou wanted to thank Santa for Fishy.”

“Wait, he's over right now? He got to see him?”

“Yup. Allison needed me to watch him when she took her parents to the airport.”

“Oh. I wish I could have been there to see Lou meet Fishy.”

“He's asleep at the moment. Sorry for not calling you up, but we were both a little sleepy.” Mark paused. “Hey, are you free on New Year's Eve?”

“Sure. Are you inviting me over?”

“Yes.”

“Then I happily accept. Although...”

“Yes?”

“Somehow your tone of voice is telling me you're not planning on seeing me again until then.”

“Well. After Christmas is a busy time for my office.”

“And you're thinking it would be better if I came over when Lou wasn't around?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay. I guess that's fair.” Jinyoung sighed heavily. “But you won't even see me for coffee or anything? I feel like I'm being punished.”

“Jinyoung...”

“I know, I know. I contributed to this one myself. If you need time, you need time.” He fell silent for a moment. “But just so you know, I wasn't drunk for any of that and I don't think you were either, so no pulling any excuses on me when we do talk. Whatever you have to say about it, don't you dare pretend like drunkenness was a factor.”

“I wouldn't do that,” Mark said softly. “I'll be honest with you.”

“Good. I guess that's all I can really ask.” He cleared his throat. “Well, if we're not talking until then, I guess it's time to say goodbye.”

“Right.”

“So goodbye. Until we meet again.”

“You like saying that, don't you?”

“Just my little way of making sure we do meet again. After the first time, I wasn't sure we were going to. Now it's the only option I'll allow. So. Until we meet again.”

Mark smiled into the phone. “Until then.”

A/N: Hey again, it's your friendly neighborhood SonicBoom! Your reactions to the last chapter were so cute~ I'm usually at work when I'm reading your comments, and it always makes the day go better :D

It's a bit early to mention this, but May 20th is my second anniversary of writing GOT7 fics on AFF, and I wanted to do something special to celebrate. However, I need your input on this one since part of the celebration will be determined by a reader vote! So if you've read a few of my stories, especially if you've ever wanted me to write a continuation of one of them, please head over to my blog to participate!! If you also expressed an interest in my upcoming self-publishing plans, I'll be including a small update in the blog as well~

Once again, thanks to my readers for being amazing angels I absolutely love!