Mark was so wrapped up in what happened with Jinyoung over Christmas Eve that he'd conveniently forgotten about the office Christmas party and the fact that Lucy would be giving him hell over the fact that he hadn't shown, even though he'd said he wouldn't. Sure enough, she was lying in wait for him when he made it to the office, and hounded him all throughout the workday.

“It absolutely , thanks to you not being there,” she said glumly. She'd scooted her desk chair into Mark's cubicle during her lunch break and was showing no signs of leaving. “I almost had to dance with Guy after all since no one else would ask. Was spending Christmas Eve with your ex-wife really so great that you couldn't stop by?”

“I didn't spend it with my ex-wife,” Mark said absently, trying to focus on the service call report he was supposed to be typing up.

“You didn't? Then why on Earth didn't you come? Weren't you all by yourself, in that case?”

“I wasn't alone. I was with Jinyoung.”

“Jinyoung?” she repeated. “What ethnicity is that? Don't tell me you got a new girlfriend!”

“Jinyoung isn't a girl,” Mark muttered. “And he's Korean.”

“Hmph. Well I can see why you thought the office party would be terribly boring and Christmas Eve more worth spending with a friend, but you made things dull for me. You'll at least be free for New Years Eve, won't you?”

New Years Eve. Mark looked longingly down at his phone. As promised, he and Jinyoung hadn't really talked since their phone call other than to iron out their plans for the holiday. Jinyoung was going to come over for dinner, and then presumably stay all the way up for the ball drop if their conversation with each other went well—although now that Mark thought of it, if Jinyoung stayed that long, there would be an inevitable kiss at midnight. Just the thought of it made him heat up. He still vividly remembered their last kiss, and would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't excited at the prospect of getting to have a second kiss like that.

“Earth to Mark,” Lucy said, tapping him on the shoulder. “I asked you a question.”

Mark snapped back to attention. What had she asked again? Something about him being busy for the holiday? “Yeah, I will be,” he said.

“Nice,” she said. “I'll have to-”

She was interrupted by their boss sticking his head into Mark's cubicle. “Lucy, stop bothering my hard working employees.”

“But I'm on my lunch break!”

“Meanwhile Mark is not. Scram and let him do his job.”

Lucy got huffy as she stormed out of Mark's cubicle, but Mark was grateful to his boss. Now he could finally get some work done so he didn't have any take home paperwork hanging over his head for the holiday. There was only one thing he wanted to focus on— only one thing he could focus on—and he didn't want anything else getting in the way of what was coming ahead of him.

He'd left all of Jinyoung's Christmas decorations up, so the apartment was already pretty put together in anticipation of Jinyoung's arrival. Mark decided to make a simpler dinner this time—casserole and salad—so he could give his attention to Jinyoung rather than dinner preparations.

Jinyoung arrived right on time, once again carrying a bag of goodies with him. “Just a Happy New Years crown and noise makers,” he said, ing the bag into Mark's arms. “Can't celebrate properly without them.”

“Hello to you, too.”

“I'm trying to act natural. Picking up the conversation where it left off and all that. But yes, hello.” He crossed the room to Fishy's bowl. “Hello there, buddy. Have Mark and Lou been taking good care of you? Are you still the original Fishy?”

“I haven't killed him yet,” Mark said defensively. “He's been pretty low maintenance thus far.”

“Good. I'd hoped he wasn't suffering from you not taking me up on my offer to come over and help out with him.”

“I have to show that I'm an independent, non-pitiful man somehow.”

“Fair enough.” Jinyoung's eyes traveled to the kitchen doorway where the mistletoe was still hanging. “Wow, you left it up.”

“I'm not going to mess with your hard work. I'm not taking anything down until you tell me to take it down and give it back to you.”

“It's still the holiday season. It can stay up a little longer.” He glanced at the fireplace. “Shall I start a fire? I left the maple logs from last time.”

“If you want. I'll go get dinner out of the oven.”

Jinyoung didn't stop him on the way under the mistletoe. It looked like they were going to have their talk properly before anything happened. If anything happened.

Mark pulled out the casserole and waited for it to cool as he brought the salad bowl to the table and prepared their wine glasses. Oddly, he didn't feel nervous. Just having Jinyoung around was soothing in its own way. It wasn't pure comfort—there definitely was an edge to it. But at the same time, it felt right. It felt like home.

Maybe that was his answer. He'd had a home before, but never the distracting presence of desire underlying every little thing. Wasn't this what he had been waiting for? Wasn't this his proof that he wasn't a heartless, unloving person?

Mark was just about to call Jinyoung to the table when the doorbell rang. He frowned. It was probably Allison dropping by for some reason or another, but he didn't want to be interrupted by anything. He hoped it was just a package delivery—did they even deliver packages on News Years Eve?

He pulled open the door. Lucy was standing there in her bright white wool coat with a lacy black dress underneath. She had a bottle of wine in her hands.

“Surprise!” she said. “Since you were going to be all alone, I decided to cheer you up.”

“Um,” Mark said, wrinkling his forehead. Hadn't he told her he was going to be busy? “But I-”

“This is the first time I've been to your new apartment. It's quaint, isn't it? I thought it would be a real bachelor pad, but you've set it up well.” She practically pushed her way past Mark to step in. “The decorating is truly lovely. I bet little Lou just loves it. And you have a goldfish? How perfectly adorable!”

“Lucy-”

“Really, you're doing so much better now that you're not with Allison. I remember that place you used to have from when hosted the company 4^th of July picnic two years ago? Allison's sense of design did absolutely nothing for me. What you have here is so much better. Although I will say, it is lacking a certain feminine touch...”

It was then that she finally turned and caught sight of Jinyoung at the fireplace, who was staring back at her with a tense expression on his face.

“Oh!” she said, clapping her hand over . “You have company.”

“Yes, I was trying to tell you that,” Mark said impatiently.

Lucy sputtered for a moment, but collected herself quickly. “Mark, you told me you would be alone and then you went ahead and invited your friend over again? You really are thick. I was clearly sending you signals that I wanted some alone time with you.”

“I didn't say-” Mark started to say.

“Well, no worries. I'm sure he's just dropping by.” Lucy stuck out her hand. “I'm Mark's coworker, Lucy. Pleasure to meet you. You must be a friend of Mark's?”

“Lucy,” Jinyoung echoed, limply taking her hand. Mark winced. Jinyoung probably remembered that name right away from Allison's regular complaining about Mark's “seductress” co-worker. “I'm Jinyoung. I'm hired by Allison and Mark as a parents' helper when the need arises.”

“Oh?” She glanced at Mark. “Mark, I had no idea you needed an extra pair of eyes for little Lou. You could have asked me! You know I absolutely adore your little boy, and would gladly look after him with you, completely free of charge. Is Lou here right now?”

“No, he's with Allison,” Mark said through gritted teeth.

“Then why on Earth is your helper here? Oh, wait, it must be his pay day, right? Well, don't let me get in the way of business. I'll be more than happy to wait until this wraps up.” She smiled sweetly at Jinyoung. “It was so kind of you to keep Mark from being lonely on Christmas Eve, but I've got it from here. Mark and I go way back. He was so distraught after the divorce, so I've been trying to look out for him ever since. He's so busy with little Lou that it's hard to squeeze into his schedule, but we've got to take advantage of these precious little moments when we can, don't we?”

“Actually, Lucy,” Mark said, finally butting in. “If I told you I was free today, it was an accident. Jinyoung's over for dinner and the New Years Eve broadcast and won't be going anywhere anytime soon.”

Lucy looked at him, flummoxed. “I don't get you, Mark. I know you've been trying to make Lou a priority, and I love that about you. But we were going to get together after things in your life settled down a little bit, right? It might be hard for you to realize that things are settling down right now and you can start letting me into your plans, but they are. If you have a moment like this right now where you can be alone with me, why wouldn't you naturally take it? I mean, is there really anything more appealing in spending a romantic holiday with your glorified babysitter over a woman like me?”

Jinyoung's expression, which had grown darker and darker as Lucy had spoken, hardened completely. “Look, Mark, I'll just go. You saw me the other week, so if you'd rather-”

“Jinyoung, you don't have to-”

“I'd honestly rather go than interrupt one of your 'precious little moments', okay?” He headed towards the front door, and Mark shot out his hand to grab his arm and hold him for a moment.

“Don't,” he said softly.

“You were planning on getting together with her, right? Don't change on account of me.”

“Jinyoung...” Mark took a deep breath, keeping his grip on Jinyoung as he turned to face Lucy. “Lucy, I'm sorry. I should have been upfront from the beginning, but you're actually interrupting a date. I'm planning on spending New Years Eve with my boyfriend, so I really can't throw him out and spend it with you instead. You get it, right?”

Lucy stared at him in shock. “Boyfriend?”

Jinyoung had frozen in place beside him.

“Boyfriend?!?!?! That's why you split up with Allison?” Lucy asked shrilly.

“Yes,” Mark lied.

“You ! And all this time you let me think...seriously, what's wrong with you?”

“I wasn't trying to lead you on, Lucy. You were the one who decided on your own that we were going to get together, even before Allison and I broke up. I never tried to encourage you, or else I would have spent Christmas Eve with you instead of with the person I actually like. You just came to your own conclusion.”

“I...I...” She looked like she was about ready to chuck her bottle of wine at the two of them. “God, this is why I absolutely hate men. Well, you, Mark! I hope you have a wonderful life and another ty marriage and divorce. Don't come crying to me when I end up with someone richer and better looking than you.”

She stormed past them to the front door, which she slammed dramatically behind her.

“Wow,” Jinyoung murmured.

“I know, I'm sorry,” Mark said quickly. “For the record, I've never liked her, ever. She'd been trying to split me and Allison up long before divorce, and I never told her I'd go out with her when things settled down. I didn't invite her over tonight, or at least not intentionally. You should know that better than anyone. I wanted to talk to you tonight.”

“Not that,” Jinyoung said quietly. “I'm actually waiting for you to explain the 'boyfriend' thing. If you were going to ask me out, I would have hoped you'd do it like a normal person. You know, actually telling me we were together first and all before telling some random crazy person?”

“That wasn't me asking you out. That was me... completely getting ahead of myself. I would never suggest that we should go out before talking it over you. I mean, I don't want to sign you up for crap like whatever that just was unless you're sure that's what you want. And even if you're sure you can deal with things like that, what you should really be sure of is that you can deal with me and the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I'm saying right now.”

Jinyoung tilted his head. “I feel like I need to put all of that through a translation machine.”

“Me too, to be honest. Look, can we sit down for dinner right now? It's probably getting cold, and I really need to sit down.”

“All right. Are you okay?”

“Actually, no. We'll have to see.”

The two of them went into the kitchen, and Mark sank into his seat and took a deep sip of wine.

“Mark,” Jinyoung said carefully. “I'm sorry for trying to walk out back there. I know we promised we would talk. But I just got ticked at the idea that I was acting like her... you know, forcing myself on you by coming over all the time and acting like we were an item when we're not yet. I don't want to do that. I want you to choose me because you want to choose me. And the fact that you initiated that kiss the other day and called me your boyfriend today but still haven't really explained to me where this is going yet has left me kind of confused. I don't mean to act irrationally, but...well, the fact that I don't know if you're going to make me happy tonight or make me miserable is making me a little irrational.”

“I know,” Mark said. “I'm really not helping things, am I? We should have talked before this, probably, but I have things to sort out, too. I want to tell you everything honestly. Beginning with the fact that I like you. I really do. There's no way I would have kissed you or bought you perfume or shared all my free time with my son together with you if I didn't. I really, really like you. You're a beautiful and sweet and just an all around mind blowing person.”

“You're going to say 'but' now, aren't you?”

“I'm going to try not to. I just want to tell you that I really liked Allison, too. Not in the same way I like you, I don't think, but I did care about her deeply. And I broke her heart by not giving her enough. I don't want to think myself capable of doing that again. When I give my heart this time, I want it to be the whole thing. Honestly, you've made me feel things in a way I've never felt them before, so I want to say that I love you, and I really think I mean it this time. I want to say that I love you all the way, and that I'm not going to hold anything back or make you feel like I'm not giving you all of myself. It's just that I don't know if it'll be enough, coming from me. I don't want to let you down. I never want you to feel like how I made Allison feel. If I can't make you feel like the most loved and treasured person on the planet every day I'm with you, then I don't deserve you and I shouldn't waste your time. That's what I'm anxious about.” He took a deep breath. “I'm scared. That's it. I'm in love with you, and I'm absolutely scared to death that even me being this head over heels for the first time in my life still isn't as deep as whatever love you're looking for.”

Jinyoung looked at him for a long moment, then exhaled sharply. “Mark Tuan. Do yourself a favor and open your eyes.”

“Excuse me?”

“You told me already that you'd never been in love with anyone before, and even back then I'd already developed those 'meeting someone you like' symptoms for you. Did I run away? Did I write you off completely and decide you'd never love me enough just because your first attempt at love didn't reach the depth you wanted it to? No. I told you that I was like you. I told you that I understood how terrifying falling in love could be, and that I'd had to go through my own journey to accept love into my heart. I was more than prepared to wait as long as it took for you to do the same. So to hear you say right now that you're head over heels in love with me to the point where you care this much about how it will make me feel when before you insisted you'd never been in love with anyone at all—how is this not supposed to make the happiest I've ever been? How could I demand something deeper or different when you've just offered me the exact love I wanted?”

Mark blinked. “I...I don't know.”

“You don't have to know. Because I won't demand anything more. I love you. I've been head over heels for longer than you, after all. Even before I met you, you were in my thoughts, and then you wound up being even more than what Allison and Lou said about you. You just proved to me over and over again that you were the person who suited me perfectly. Maybe you and Allison weren't a perfect fit, but I'm not her, Mark. Just because things happened a certain way with her doesn't mean the same will happen with me. And even if it does happen again, I swear to God, I'm not going to let you get away with not dating or kissing or loving me up until that point, okay?”

Mark's heart was pounding, but he ordered it to quiet so he could get out everything he needed to. “Okay.”

“So, you have something to ask me, don't you?”

“Jinyoung... will you go out with me?”

“Yes. Yes I will.” He reached over and cupped Mark's cheek. “And now that's we've talked about it, can we go back to what we were doing before when we were completely jumping the gun on each other?”

“What, you're not going to wait until midnight?”

“I'm not going to wait, period.” He leaned across the table and pulled Mark into a kiss. It was different from last time. There was less wine and raw uncertainty, but the passion Mark had felt the first time was still there. He intertwined his fingers with Jinyoung's, pulling him in deeper and embracing him fully. He'd been uncertain of so many things in his life, but he was at least certain of this. He cared about this person and wanted to be with him. Maybe later he would figure out just how much he cared and how far that feeling of wanting to be with him would extend, but for now it was enough to feel it at all. It was enough that his heart was racing at Jinyoung's kiss, that he wanted to kiss him not because it was comfortable, but because everything the kiss was doing to his body was far too wild to be comfortable.

He pulled away from Jinyoung gently, cupping his face in his hands. The look in Jinyoung's eyes took his breath away. Even from the beginning, he'd thought Jinyoung's eyes were adorable, but like this they were a magnetic pull, drawing him in. The look of affection in them tugged at his heart and made him want to lunge right back in.

Still, the clutter on the counter reminded him of what he'd originally been doing before Lucy had shown up. “This is nice and all,” Mark said, “but I did make us dinner, so...”

Jinyoung was still looking at his lips. “It can get a little cold...”

“Hey, I'm not going anywhere after dinner. We can resume this then.”

“Or maybe some other crazy lady from your office will burst in...” Jinyoung stubbornly pressed another warm kiss against his lips. “We can have dinner. If you just promise me one thing.”

“What's that?”

“That you won't walk drunk me home to my dorm tonight.”

“You want me to let drunk you get in your car and drive? Not happening. I'm rather fond of your existence. We've been over that.”

“Not that.” He squeezed Mark's chin. “I don't want you to make me go anywhere else. I want to stay here. With you”

Mark's lips quirked unwittingly. “Well. I think I can just about that manage that.”

Mark was learning a lot of new things from Jinyoung, particularly that eating dinner while combating overwhelming was a pretty difficult thing, made easier by a little wine and a lot of skinship. He was also learning that you could kiss someone for almost a full half-hour without interruption and every single second of it would be as exciting as the first, particularly if the person you were kissing happened to have deliciously plump lips and smelled like cinnamon and was also a bit of a biter.

But Mark was finally convinced to stop because he did have some questions, after all. There were a lot of things to learn and get used to, and more than one thing he wanted to wrap his head around right away.

“What exactly did Allison or Lou say about me that made you want to meet me before you met me?” Mark asked, settling Jinyoung into his arms. “I don't see how you could have learned anything particularly swoon-worthy from an ex-wife or a three-year-old.”

“The pictures I saw of you in Allison's albums may have contributed,” Jinyoung admitted. “I really like your face. But frankly, even before that...”

“Hmm...?”

“Allison thought it would be a fun activity for me and Lou to decorate the fridge together one day, and she brought out the box of all the things that used to be on the fridge when you two lived together—photo, magnets, things Lou had drawn for you guys—and I found a letter you had written to her when you'd first met.”

Mark flushed a little. “I'd forgotten she'd used to have that pinned up on the fridge...”

Jinyoung smiled fondly. “It was sweet. She told me you two were in a composition class together, and some tore into what she had written to the point where she'd burst into tears in the middle of class. By time she'd calmed down and collected herself and went back to get her things, she found that note from you tucked inside. I hope you don't take any of that to heart because you're a good writer and a good person, and unlike him, your life is going to be filled with good things. I guess I just kind of fell in love with the person who wrote those words a little. I mean, it's no surprise, is it? Allison did, too.”

“Are you sure you want to be following in the footsteps of me and Allison, considering how it ended?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “Even though it didn't work out, you two had a life of good things, and Lou was the best thing of all. I like you a lot, so I don't see why I shouldn't date you and see how many good things we can make in the time we have together, which is hopefully forever, but we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?” He gave Mark a gentle peck on the lips. “You're so caught up in how it ended that I think you forget that you gave each other so many happy years before you split. That's what I'm excited for. All the happy years to come. Besides, you and Allison were the reason we met and I started getting all those love symptoms, so I'm happy she chased you down after she found that note. I won't regret it.”

“Yeah,” Mark said, smiling softly, thinking of Allison and Lou and Jackson and Jinyoung. “I don't regret it either.”

“Good.” Jinyoung beamed at him. “Oh, and if we're talking about when I fell in love with you for real, that would be when you paid me after that time we took Lou sledding.”

Mark blinked. “Excuse me? We're dating because I gave you a decent amount of cash?”

“Just the opposite, in fact. I got so worked up that you were paying me after what I thought was a really fantastic date, which made me feel like a e, which made me remember that it wasn't actually a date but 'work', which made me realize that you must have completely cast a spell over my mind if you made me forget that little detail so easily, which also made me realize that I had fallen for you a lot more than I was originally planning.”

“Originally planning?”

“Hey, it was only supposed to be a straight-boy crush, you know. I'm a practical person. Which makes it even better that I didn't have to be as practical as I thought I needed to.” He pulled Mark by the neck, lowering his voice. “So if you don't mind, why don't we get back to celebrating how this all ended up, hmm?”

They did eventually remember to turn the Times Square broadcast on and dig out their champagne and party hats as it got closer to midnight. New Years had never been Mark's favorite holiday since it was exhausting to get right back into the holiday spirit after the exhausting Christmas season, but he was genuinely excited this time. A new year was beginning, and so many things were going to change. But he was certain it would be fine. He was ready to start waking himself up and figuring out how to love someone properly, especially if Jinyoung was at his side. Whatever was to come, he was going to do his best not to regret any of it.

The two of them watched together as the countdown began in New York City, the ball slowly lowering.

“10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1!”

Mark and Jinyoung kissed as everyone on TV screamed “HAPPY NEW YEARS!” then broke apart to down their champagne and set off their noisemakers, laughing with the overflowing joy of the moment.

“I think it's going to be a beautiful new year,” Jinyoung whispered into Mark's lips when they finally calmed down. “A beautiful new year with you.”

A/N: SonicBoom back at it with the author's notes lately! Thank you to everyone who voted in the poll mentioned in the last chapter! If you haven't yet, please do, but all of ya'll who have tried to vote multiple times-- I see what you're doing and those votes aren't going to count! So, yes, anyone who hasn't voted yet, please do so!

So, many of you have been asking for a Twitter acct for me. Previously I just hunted for updates on my work Twitter since my job involves social media, but I decided to open up a personal account, which got suspended as soon as I left for Japan on a business trip due to changing phones and losing a code I needed to login, but I just got it back! So yes, feel free to follow me on twitter @Sonicboom_nim :D