Mark had pretty much convinced himself that Jinyoung wouldn't be coming that afternoon. He'd never answered the text message Mark had sent him or called to make even the slightest attempt at an apology. Mark still went through the motions of showering, dressing, and getting ready for the day out, but he had the feeling it would all be for nothing. All he really had left to decide was if he would plead his case Jinyoung a second time or let him go.

Five minutes before noon, Mark went outside and sat on the hood of his car, holding the tickets he'd spared from the paper shredder in his hands. Even if Jinyoung did show up, he'd probably get even angrier at Mark for setting up a pampering date after insisting he didn't want to be coddled. It was a risk Mark was willing to take. He wanted Jinyoung to understand that he wasn't doing these things to look down on him. He just wanted him to be healthy and happy in body, mind, and spirit because his happiness was the thing that made Mark happy.

When the clock hit noon, Mark held his breath. He almost wanted to close his eyes so he wouldn't have to bear witness to Jinyoung not being there, but just as he was about to turn his gaze away, he saw Jinyoung walking slowly down his street.

He looked terrible. His eyes were red and inflamed, and there were dark circles underneath them. His outfit didn't go together either. He was wearing a nice sweater, but his black pants were so baggy that it looked like he'd accidentally picked them up from the big and tall section and had just gone with it. His coat looked thrown on like an afterthought.

But as terrible as he looked, and as terrible as seeing him like that made Mark feel, it was still a relief to see him at all. Jinyoung didn't want to break up. If Mark did this right, there was still something left to salvage.

Mark slid off the hood of his car. “Hi,” he said. Whatever he said would come out sounding pitiful, so he went for the most pitiful greeting right out of the gate.

“Hi,” Jinyoung said back. He met Mark's eyes, then looked down at his feet.

“Get in the car,” Mark said, opening his own door.

“We're leaving already?”

“No, but you'll never forgive me for letting you appear looking like this out in public when you're in your right mind, so you better get in.”

Jinyoung laughed weakly and dropped into the passenger seat. “Fine. You shouldn't leave for a date with me until I've talked to you, anyways. You may think you don't want to break up now, but... I could wind up changing your mind.”

“You have something to say that's worse than what I heard yesterday?”

“I don't know. It's just that I did something bad right from the beginning, when we met each other. And you don't know about it, but when you do, you might possibly hate me for it. But I need to tell you, because it will at least help you understand why I lost it yesterday... not that I can really excuse myself, but-”

“Jinyoung.”

“Uh, yes?”

“If you have something you need to tell me, I'd rather you just did it outright.”

“Right...” Jinyoung took a deep breath. “The thing is, I've always been jealous of you and Allison. Even before I met you properly, I didn't understand why the two of you split up. When she mentioned you, she always talked about how much she had loved you, how many good memories she had of the two of you in college, things like that... and then when I met you, you told me she split up with you because you weren't in love with her, and I thought that 100% had to be wrong. Because you did really love her, from what I saw. Maybe she just didn't read you correctly because you're a little slow and bad at showing things, but I really thought you two divorcing was a mistake. I was sure you two could have raised Lou together happily forever and been very much in love, and that one day you'd realize your mistake and get back together. That's why I...” He'd been looking Mark in the eyes until then, but suddenly darted his eyes away.

“That's why you what?”

“That's why I came on so strong to you when we first met, giving you my card right away and calling you to go sledding right after we'd just seen each other. I didn't want you to realize you'd made a mistake. I didn't want you to think you were in love with her, because I wanted there to be even the slightest chance you would fall in love with me. I knew you two being together would be better for Lou, but I didn't want to give up on you. I thought it would work out perfectly because Allison had started seeing someone else, so it would be okay for you to see someone, too. You could both move on, even though you still weren't out of love yet.” He swallowed. “Of course I believed you when you said you loved me. I could tell from how you treated me and looked at me that you did. And I knew you were able to respond to me ually in a way you weren't able to before. But even though I knew that... I just got so anxious when you told me she was getting remarried. Because if something would force you two to reconsider not being together, it would be that.”

“I don't follow. You don't see how in love with Jackson she is?”

“I know she is. But it's a big thing to put a close on your first love, especially if your first love is the father of your child and someone still close to you. I thought she might think of that and rethink what she was doing. Maybe that was dumb of me, but it bothered me, what I had done. That I had pulled you further away from her before you'd even properly reflected on your feelings. It was a selfish, childish thing to do, and it just proved to me even more that I needed to be more of an adult for our relationship to reach a point where even what you shared with Allison couldn't reach it.”

“So that's what led to this whole business of you trying to handle your student teaching situation without my help, and getting angry at me for looking at you too much like a college student.”

Jinyoung nodded. “I shouldn't have blown up at you about it. It's not your fault as much as it is my fault for being this kind of person to begin with. I shouldn't have said any of those awful, ugly things. I know you think that's not the real me, but I was the one who came up with those feelings and that anger, so it must really be me after all. So if you want to end it because of that, I won't blame you.”

Mark looked at him carefully. He felt like an idiot for having no idea about any of this. Jinyoung may have hid his feelings well, but Mark should have seen through him sooner than this, after all the times Jinyoung had tried to insist he loved Mark way more than he was loved by him. He could have stamped these doubts out, but somehow he'd only managed to make them worse as time had passed. He'd been so accustomed to leaning on Jinyoung that he'd never gotten Jinyoung comfortable with leaning on him.

“Ah, this ticks me off,” Mark said finally, running a hand roughly through his hair. “I'm really not happy that you've been thinking that way for so long and haven't talked to me about it. Look, I've never lied to you about how it was between me and Allison. Yes, she loved me. Yes, I loved her. But when she said it wasn't enough and that she should find someone who loved her better, she wasn't wrong and it wasn't a mistake. It wasn't enough, and I realized that because it was only a fraction of what I feel for you. Should I get it tattooed on your forehead? Do I have to say it to you every second of every day for you to believe me? It may not be an 100% of a mature, adult relationship yet, but we'll get there, because right now I'm pretty much planning on staying with you even when you're as old as you make fun of me for being. Our relationship is never going to be what I had with Allison, because if it was, I'd never forgive myself for half-assing things a second time.”

Jinyoung's eyes watered a little. “I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to be as stable as she was for you. I let all that stress make me think things that weren't true.”

“And that may be partially my fault for always letting you get away with thinking you're the one more emotionally invested in this relationship. So I'll say it clearly for you. I think about you pretty much every other second of the day. I wish I could kick out all of the days when I don't get to see you from the calendar because my life is pretty much dull as dirt when you're not around to brighten it up. And when I see you, sometimes I just want to jump you right where you're standing because you're so beautiful and y that I can't control how badly I want you. And other times, I just want to hold you in my arms and cover you in kisses because you're a precious treasure I've been so fortunate to have and I want you to feel that gratitude on every part of you. I didn't used to be this kind of person, Jinyoung. I wasn't a blazing inferno before I met you, so you can't just pretend like you haven't changed everything and try to put me right back into the life I had before. This is who I am now; this is who you made me. Can't you at least take responsibility for me being like this and stop hiding from the fact that I love you just as much as you love me?”

Jinyoung was crying now, hot tears spilling from his eyes. “I'm such an idiot,” he said. “I wanted you to love me so badly, and when you did, I almost threw it away. I would have-”

“-never forgiven yourself,” Mark finished for him. “But it's okay. You came back. That's what I'm going to remember. That you could have walked away, but you came back. So let's keep going forward now, okay?”

Jinyoung nodded wordlessly, wiping up his tears.

“And now, I'm going to do exactly what you told me not to do. I'm going to pamper you. Because frankly, no matter how beautiful you are, you really look like right now, and the fact that you're crying again is just making it worse.”

“I know,” Jinyoung said, laughing shakily. “And I've decided that it's not worth being stubborn over. I think we both need to be taken care a little after this.”

“All right,” Mark said, turning the ignition. “Let's go.”

He let Jinyoung collect himself for the first part of the drive. Mark felt like he needed to collect himself a little bit as well. It was their first big fight, and even though they'd gotten through it, he couldn't say he wanted to go through something like this again, ever.

When both of them had calmed down a little, Mark decided that if Jinyoung had finally gotten everything of his chest, there was still one more thing Mark needed to be honest with him about before they put the matter behind them.

“I know you're very serious about maturing well and having a successful career,” Mark began, “but I hope you won't take being younger than me as a bad thing anymore. I'm actually a bit jealous about how well you get along with people your own age, like BamBam.”

“Jealous?” Jinyoung repeated blankly.

“Yeah, a little. He's very stylish, isn't he? I feel kind of plain in comparison, and besides, you're a lot more open with him than you are with me about everything you're going through. You're probably going to laugh at me for saying this, but when I first saw you together, I felt really inadequate.”

Unsurprisingly, Jinyoung did start laughing. “Because of BamBam? Are you kidding me? He may look cool, but I swear to god, he spends 60% of his time making out with his reflection in his mirror. And who says you're plain? I think you're very cool and handsome, and don't forget I've seen the pictures of you when you were my age, remember? There was a reason I had a crush on you even before we met.”

“You want me to get that look back, huh?”

“You don't have to, because you seriously look so handsome the way you are now, too.” Jinyoung sighed, leaning his head back. “I'm sorry for being an idiot.”

“I'm sorry for being an idiot, too.”

“I love you. I'll try to get it right one of these days.”

“Don't think about it so much. As long as I get to be with you, I'm a happy person. If you just remember that, I don't think you'll get it wrong again.”

“I will, then.” He reached over and squeezed Mark's knee. “You make me so happy, too. I don't say that enough, but even when I'm grumpy and crying and being an , I don't regret my life in the slightest. And more than anything, I'll never, ever regret falling in love with you.”

Jinyoung was in desperate need of some fixing up, so he was more than enthusiastic about the thorough spa package Mark had gotten him. They started off with a one hour massage, then a facial (which quickly neatened up all the crying damage on Jinyoung's eyes), followed by a wine break and lastly a nail buff. They came out of their session practical sparkling from head to toe, though there really was nothing to be done about Jinyoung's parachute pants (Mark had been tempted to ask the guy who had done his facial if he could purchase his nice slacks so Jinyoung could look presentable when they went out to eat, but was just barely able to hold back).

“I feel alive again,” Jinyoung declared. “It feels like five years of crap has just fallen off my shoulders.”

“Ready for stage two?” Mark asked.

“There's a stage two?” Jinyoung looked down at his clothes. “...am I dressed for it?”

“No.”

“Do we have time to go back to my dorm?”

Mark glanced at his watch. They had just enough time to go and make it back for their reservation. He sighed in relief. “Yeah, let's make it quick.”

They got in his car and looped back to the university campus. Mark waited in the car as Jinyoung swiped in and took care of his bad styling choice of the morning. He emerged looking much better in a nice pair of brown corduroys that matched his sweater perfectly.

“Now there's the man I fell in love with,” Mark said, grinning.

“Got to keep on my toes, or else maybe you'll start paying attention to fashionable BamBam instead of me.”

“Lou might like that, having Kit for a brother.”

Jinyoung wrinkled his nose. “Not. Happening.”

Mark drove them fifteen minutes to the fancy Italian restaurant where he'd made their reservation. Jinyoung smiled in delight as soon as he saw where they were going.

“I've been wanting to go here ever since it opened!” he said, bouncing in his seat. “But we were supposed to go after I got a really good teaching placement in May, and I was supposed to treat.”

“How about you take me out to the five star French restaurant down the street instead?”

“You're on. Thank god I changed pants. They'd probably throw me out if I tried to come here in the other ones.”

Luckily, the waiter let them both through and found them a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant. They ordered a bottle of wine to split, and tore through the menu, wanting to order every little thing their eyes fell on. Jinyoung eventually settled on grilled chicken and gnocchi, while Mark ordered Cioppino to go with his wine.

“Thank god they don't put the prices in these menus,” Jinyoung said solemnly. “I don't even want to know how much you're paying for this.”

“How about we deduct it from my budget for your birthday present this year. Sound fair?”

Jinyoung nodded. “In that case, I'll enjoy the single gumball you're going to buy me for my birthday, since that's all your going to be able to afford on your budget.”

“Grape or cherry?”

“Cherry, please.” Jinyoung smiled. “I missed this. I missed going out on dates and just joking like this. That stupid teacher really turned me into a bitter person. I don't want to forget the things I love about teaching because of this. I just want to work with kids and make a difference. As long as I can do that wherever I'm placed, that should be enough.”

“And really, I know you want to start contributing financially to things, but my expenses are pretty minimal to begin with. In case you haven't noticed, I don't actually have a life outside of work other than you and Lou.”

“Yeah. What have you even been doing at home on the weekdays I don't see you?”

“Sitting in the dark staring at the paint chipping on my walls.”

“Seriously?”

Mark shrugged. “Basically. Maybe I should think about painting them again, if the paint's chipping so much. What color do you think would look nice in the TV room?”

“Wine red.”

Mark nodded. He'd been thinking plain white himself, but Jinyoung knew his stuff. “That would look nice. Especially with all the home décor items you'll be bringing to the table when you come.”

“When I come where?”

“To stay with me and Lou for good.” Mark gingerly took Jinyoung's hands in his. “I'm asking you to move in with me after you graduate.”

Jinyoung's eyes widened, and he tried to clap his hand over his mouth in shock, but apparently seemed to forget it was still attached to Mark's. Instead, he wound up slamming both of their hands straight into his front teeth and pulling Mark halfway across the table in the process. Almost immediately, he dropped Mark's hand and winced, furiously massaging the area he'd just accidentally punched himself.

Mark burst out laughing. “Jinyoung, this was supposed to be a very serious moment, what are you even doing? Do I have to take back my offer and ask you when you've figured out how to function again?”

“Don't you dare!” Jinyoung yelped. “Seriously...I was so worried you were never going to ask.”

“It was a bit more delayed than I wanted, but I wanted a really nice sense of occasion when I offered... which you just ruined.”

“God, what the hell is wrong with me?” Jinyoung cried out, but he was laughing now, too. “First I almost make you break up with me right before you were going to ask me what I've been waiting for for the past year, and then I punch myself in the face right after you do.”

“Maybe it was just to check to see if you weren't dreaming.”

“Yeah, that's right. And it seems I'm not dreaming right now, so...” He set his offending hands down into his lap. “Yes. Yes, I want to move in with you.”

“Just letting you know, you might have increased sock control duty after you move in. I'll cook for you to make up for it, though.”

“That sounds just about perfect to me.” Jinyoung beamed at him. “Especially since during the weekdays, we won't have to worry about certain people overhearing certain physical activities happening at frequent intervals, right? That will more than make up for your sock problem.”

“So your mind goes there first,” Mark said wryly. “You're going to love Round 3 of this date, then.”

He did.

It had been too long. After several weeks of Jinyoung only appearing on the weekends when Lou was around and being too exhausted and upset to be as thoroughly affectionate as he usually was, a lot of frustration had built up between them. Mark had thought to go easy on him since he was still in TLC-mode, but Jinyoung apparently decided real TLC would be the exact opposite of going easy. They took full advantage of their massive hotel room (hot tub included) and took their time making up with each other properly.

When Jinyoung was worn out, Mark got back in the hot tub to soak while Jinyoung remained in a heap of covers on the bed. He did pull open the curtains a little bit so they could see the night skyline, but not enough for anyone in the building across the block to get an eye full if they happened to be using their telescope tonight.

“Kindergarten Teacher Gone Wild: XXL DATE NIGHT SPECIAL,” Jinyoung said in monotone, staring at the aftermath on his skin. “Coming to a website near you.”

“Hey, if you'd kept those other pants, you might have spared yourself the exhaustion.”

“Park Jinyoung and the Mood Killing Trousers. Now available in picture book version.”

“You're being silly.”

“Yeah, maybe that's a result of you just turning my brain into jelly, not that I'm complaining.” He wiggled like a snake to the end of the bed so he could be closer to Mark. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“I was too busy acting like a jerk last time to ask properly, but is everything really all right with Allison and Jackson?”

“Yeah. Judging by how our conversation went, they'll either wind up getting married next year, or they'll elope. I'm personally hoping they'll just elope.” Mark paused. “Out of curiosity, how much of that conversation did you actually overhear?”

“I wasn't at a good distance to hear most of it. Just the part where she talked about proposing to you. I suppose that helped trigger the ugly jealous part that came after.”

“You're jealous of the fact that she had to propose to me because I had zero clue she was waiting for a proposal?”

“When you put it like that...”

“Please don't be.” Mark went to the edge of the hot tub and fixed his eyes on Jinyoung. “Hey. I really don't like making the same mistake twice, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“So when the time comes for me to say it this time, I won't miss that moment or make you wait. I promise you.”

Jinyoung's cheeks flushed and Mark could see a small cluster of tears budding near his lower lash line. He hoped they wouldn't fall. Jinyoung had done enough crying for one day. And he looked so pretty with his pink cheeks and sweaty face with his damp bangs plastered to his forehead and the smile on his face growing little by little. It was exactly perfect in that moment. He didn't want a single thing about it to change.

“Well then,” Jinyoung said softly. “I guess I'll look forward to that day coming from here on out.”

A/N: Hey guys! I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy the story so much! 

Just a quick little PSA: I don't know how many of you know this, but when you use emojis on AFF comments, a big part of the comment is cut off and I can't read it. I love hearing what you guys have to say, so if you can, please try to avoid using emojis so I can properly read your thoughts and comments! Thank you, and see you next week!