Jackson had probably already realized that weddings were a sensitive subject for Allison, since instead of a big brunch, he ordered them a bunch of mimosas, Allison's favorite drink, when the three of them arrived at the restaurant he'd picked out. That was one of the things Mark liked about him: he wasn't a very subtle guy, but he did read the people around him pretty well.

“So, I guess now's the time for official congratulations,” Mark said, taking a seat across from Jackson. “I'm happy for both of you.”

“I heard I have you to thank for a faster reply than I was expecting,” Jackson said. “So thanks, man. I owe you big.”

“You can make it up to me by taking care of Allie and Lou.” Mark took a sip of his mimosa. “Did you get her a ring?”

Allison lifted up her hand to show a modest gold band with a pretty diamond setting. Mark knew next to nothing about jewelry, but nodded in approval nonetheless.

“The whole thing was very romantic, but I'll have to tell you about it some other time,” Jackson said with a heavy sigh. “Allie says we're here to talk logistics. But if your guess is that I proposed at the pavilion at Lake Park, you're a really good guesser.”

“I hope you had a chorus of ducks to help you with a serenade, or something.”

“For sure. I bribed them with a baguette and had them carry the ring in on their backs. I'm considering bringing them back for the actual wedding as ring bearers.”

“As long as you can find suits that fit them,” Allison said with a laugh. “Now, on a serious note, I've done a little research on how best to introduce the subject with Lou...”

“Shouldn't we be able to do it in a similar way to how we told him about you and Jackson dating in the first place?” Mark asked.

“Something along those lines should work. He's probably going to have a lot of questions, but I think we can just do our best to answer them, even if they're difficult. I just wish I had a better sense of what he really understands about us being divorced in the first place. He was so young, I don't think he remembers us being together.”

“Which is good, because he's more open to the idea of people like me and Jinyoung being around, but kind of bad, because you want him to understand how his family actually works,” Jackson said. “I follow. But just so you know, I'm not going to make him call me 'Dad' or anything he doesn't want to. He can keep calling me Jackson, if he wants. In fact, I think the way he kind of mispronounces it a little is cute.”

“I'm sure his thoughts on that particular subject will change when he's older,” Allison said with a nod. “In a way, we're lucky that he's been so open to me and Mark seeing new people. I read about dating and getting remarried when you're raising teenagers, and it's not such a peaceful transition, usually.”

Mark nodded. He couldn't imagine having to explain to a teenage version of Lou that he was dating a guy after presumably being straight or more likely borderline aual for so many years and have it go as well as did with the four-year-old version.

“I hate to bring it up so soon, but have you guys thought about moving yet?” he asked. “I know your apartment's not that big, Allie, but I don't really know about Jackson's place.”

“I think it would be better just to move into an entirely new place,” Jackson said. “Somewhere close to Lou's school, and with more room for him to run around in? Our savings are pretty good, so I think we can work something out. I was also thinking Lou might like staying with you for an extended time while we're packing up and actually doing the moving. Maybe if we aim for a summer timeline, he could stay with you for the entire summer holiday?”

“Summer of next year?”

“Actually, we were thinking summer of this year. I personally don't want a long engagement, and Allie doesn't want a big wedding, so if it's just going to be family and our closest friends with just a little church ceremony and something small after, I don't see why we can't do it soon.”

“It would put a little more burden on Lou if we do things too quickly, so if you have any objections to that, we're open to other options,” Allison said.

Mark considered for a moment. It wasn't really any of his business, but if they were asking for his opinion, he owed them not to say yes or no blindly. A few months wasn't exactly a whole lot of time to communicate all the changes that were coming to Lou, but then again, a long engagement also had a list of setbacks that could be detrimental to both Allison and Lou. A long engagement meant more time for Allison's parents to creep into her wedding planning and turn it into a huge affair that would crush Allison's mood and keep the atmosphere of the household down. In that sense, getting it done quickly would make for a smoother transition.

“Have you told your parents yet?” Mark asked Allison.

Her expression fell a little. “We're meeting with them after we're done here.”

“Yeah, that's going to be a rough one,” Jackson said. “I want them to feel like they're a part of the wedding. I definitely want them not to hate my guts for the rest of my life. But I don't want them to feel like they should step in and turn this in to Kim Kardashian's Wedding Exclusive. Although, you know, I won't say no to the big cake and expensive presents if everyone insists, but I don't want to have the standard money draining wedding ceremony and reception if neither of us want it.”

“They have to understand,” Allison said firmly. “I'm raising a five year old. I live on a budget. I've already done the whole wedding extravaganza once in my life. This isn't going to be like last time.”

“If anything, make sure they don't get their hands on the invite list,” Mark said lightly. “I would like to come, after all.”

“You and Lou are at the top of the list,” Jackson said. He paused for a moment. “Uh, can I ask you something, though? Did Allie's parents only start hating you after you got divorced, or do they just hate having sons-in-law in general?”

“Jackson!” Allison yelled, smacking him on the arm. “I already told you, they like you just fine.”

“But you still haven't answered my question about sons-in-law properly...”

Allison shot Mark a warning look. Her parents hadn't really liked him even when they were married—they weren't the kind of people who meshed well with uncommunicative people—but she probably didn't want him telling Jackson that. Jackson had the benefit of not being uncommunicative, but at the same time, Mark wasn't sure Allison's parents would mesh much better with someone who was a tad-bit over the top.

“No matter what, you're going to be a step up over me for them,” Mark said, finally. “So there's that.”

“Hey, I think you're pretty cool.”

“Being cool doesn't matter as much as making Allison happy. Just do that better than anyone else can, and you'll win them over before long.”

Mark tried to keep up with Jinyoung through the week, checking in on him about his student teaching as much as he could, but he could pick up pretty quickly that Jinyoung wasn't in a good mood. His text message responses to Mark's questions were short and lacking in emotion, and he didn't call with his daily news like he usually did when things were going well. Mark tried to send positive vibes in what little ways he could and made sure to buy wine and an entire apple pie at the grocery store for the weekend in case Jinyoung needed the big guns to perk up.

He was getting anxious by time Friday rolled around. Jinyoung usually called him to let him know when he was planning on coming over, but Mark still had yet to hear from him by time he left to pick up Lou from Allison's. Allison also seemed to be in a bit of a mood. Telling Lou about her engagement had gone well—if Allison getting married to Jackson meant Jackson would live with them, he was all for it—but telling her parents had gone as expected. They didn't want her to have a short engagement or a short wedding invite list. They didn't want her to skip out on buying another expensive wedding dress. Allison was a grown woman and didn't have to do what anyone else told her, but the stress already seemed to be getting to her.

Lou, at least, was in a good mood. Mark had called up BamBam and asked if Kit wanted to come over on Sunday, so Lou was already bursting with excitement at the prospect of showing his new friend Fishy and his collection of Hot Wheels. He was also enthusiastic about the possibility of moving, since Jackson had dropped the hint that he would have more room for toys in a new house.

Mark and Lou were treated to a dark apartment when they got back—Jinyoung hadn't shown up while they were gone. Lou noticed right away. “Where's Jinny?” he asked, making puppy dog eyes.

“He might still be at work?” Mark guessed. “Daddy will give him a call in a little bit to check on him. In the meantime, are you ready for burgers, Lou?”

Lou nodded energetically. Mark got the stove ready and rooted around the kitchen for buns, lettuce, and tomatoes. Lou got right to work building a Hot Wheels track in the TV room while narrating all the Kindergarten gossip to Mark—a kid named Ryan apparently had gotten light-up sneakers that Lou was jealous of, and a girl named Lindsay had tried to hold his hand, which grossed him out.

Jinyoung didn't show up for dinner. Mark set up the TV for Lou to watch an episode of the Muppets while Mark tried to give him a call. He didn't answer the first one, or the second one when Mark tried again five minutes later. Mark started pacing around the kitchen. Had something happened? Should he get Lou in the car and try going to Jinyoung's dorm to look for him? Should he call BamBam?

Mark was just about to turn the Muppets off and get Lou dressed to go outside when the front door finally opened. Jinyoung stepped in, pink cheeked and puffy faced. Lou whirled around on the couch, his face immediately breaking out into a grin. “Jinny's here!” Jinyoung's reciprocal smile seemed a little forced.

“Jinyoung,” Mark said quietly, stepping up to him. “Are you okay?”

Instead of answering, Jinyoung leaned his body against Mark's, burying his face in his chest. It wasn't long before he felt Jinyoung's body trembling beneath his hands and a spot of dampness growing on his shirt. Mark ran a hand down Jinyoung's back, feeling a lump growing in his throat.

“Come on,” he murmured into Jinyoung's ear. As Lou looked on in confusion, Mark slowly ushered Jinyoung into the kitchen where they could talk in private. Jinyoung immediately started sobbing in earnest, smothering his face in the tissues Mark handed to him. Mark gave him the time he needed to get the worst of his tears out of the way, but it hurt his heart so much to see Jinyoung like this. Jinyoung worked so hard and tried so much to be the best he could possibly be—how was it that such genuine good intentions could wind up blowing up in his face like this?

“It's awful,” Jinyoung hiccuped, giving his red face another swipe with the tissues. “I can't do anything right. I'm completely blowing my chance to get a good placement, and I'm going to wind up earning nothing and ruin the next few years for myself all because I can't do this stupid assignment.”

“What happened, exactly?” Mark asked gently. “Are you having problems with any of the kids? Is the school you're working with not a good fit?”

“I thought I was doing a good job. I feel like I'm bonding really well with the kids, and they seem to be understanding my lesson plans. The teaching part is so much fun. But when I have to go for my evaluations...when I feel the eyes of the observing teacher on me... when I have to hear all the things she thinks I'm doing wrong...” Jinyoung's eyes watered over again. “It's not like I can't handle constructive criticism. I want to be a better teacher, I really do. But she hasn't had a single bit of positive feedback at all. I feel like I'm failing at everything, and I don't even understand why, and it's making second guess things I should have down to pat by now, and I just keep messing up even more.” He let out a heavy sob. “Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a teacher after all.”

“No,” Mark said firmly. “I know that's not true. You are seriously one of the best things that has ever happened to my son. And not just because you're a kind person, but because you've helped him understand so many things. Who was the one who taught him how to count to 100? Who was the one who helped him read a picture book? You're so patient and careful and smart. There's no way this isn't what you were meant to do with your life.”

“But you don't have an objective view of me.”

“Maybe not, but I'm not an idiot. If you were a terrible teacher who couldn't do anything right, why the hell do you think I would let you teach so many things to my son? If you haven't noticed, I take raising him pretty damn seriously.”

“Then why?” Jinyoung asked desperately. “Why isn't it going well? If I'm so good, why aren't my results good?”

“Look, her opinion doesn't determine whether or not the kids will learn what you teach them. Prove yourself with those results. Whatever you do, you can't give up that part. If you give up now, then you really won't be able to become a teacher. And just so you know, even if you don't get the best placement, we'll make it work, okay? You're not going to starve on my watch.” And you'll always have a home here, he finished in his head. He made a mental note to speed up the spa preparations he'd just started working on.

For some reason, Jinyoung only looked more upset at that. “The last thing I want is to be a burden on you. I'm not your responsibility to take care of. If we're seeing each other, I want to contribute equally. I don't want to be penniless while you pay all my bills. I've already been relying on you so much for the first two years together. I really, really wanted that to change.”

“I'm just saying it won't change the way I feel about you.”

“I know,” Jinyoung said, his voice suddenly quiet. “But it'll change the way I feel about me. And that also matters.”

They heard a quiet noise from the entryway to the kitchen. Lou was standing there, holding the pie box Mark had brought home from the grocery store with a box of Spiderman Band-aids stacked on top. “If Jinny's crying, this will make him feel better?” he said in a questioning voice. He tentatively brought the pie to Jinyoung, extending it to him like a peace offering.

Jinyoung smiled genuinely this time. “Thanks, Lou. Is that apple pie? It's impossible to cry when eating apple pie, I hear. That will make me feel much better. Thank you so much.”

Mark served them all a plate of pie. While Jinyoung ate, Lou covered his arm in Band-aids and kissed his invisible “boo-boos.” Jinyoung did his best to put on a brave face, but Mark could still see moments when his eyes would dampen again and he'd desperately blink the tears away. He wanted to take every single piece of pain away from him, but he didn't know what else he could say. Maybe Jinyoung just needed time to calm down and get his fighting gear back on, but Mark wished he could come up with the right thing to say to make it happen faster. The look on Jinyoung's face felt physically painful to him, and it felt worse because he knew Jinyoung had been feeling this badly all week, and it was only today that he was talking to Mark about it. How long had he spent crying on his own?

That night, Mark slept with Jinyoung tightly in his arms. He could feel the Band-aids brush against his skin from time to time, and wished with all his heart that by the morning, they would have healed something, or at least patched it up to the point where Jinyoung could safely trust Mark to do the rest of the job with his words.

Jinyoung was a little bit better in the morning, or at least was putting on a good act of being better. It was hard to be in too bad of a mood when Lou was bouncing around with excitement because Kit was coming over. Mark had wondered if it was a good idea to carry on with the playdate considering Jinyoung's mood, but he couldn't bring himself to mess up Lou's day in the process. He could only hope getting to spend the day with two silly and cute kids would bring Jinyoung's mood up the rest of the way.

Kit and BamBam arrived around noon. The apartment was quickly filled with the two kid's cheerful squeals as Lou showed Kit Fishy and the Hot Wheels course he'd set up the night before. Kit in turn had brought some special classic car toys from home, and had to go into all the complicated details about them. Mark was pretty impressed that two kids in their single digits seemed to know more about cars than he did.

“Kit has been talking about this nonstop,” a newly black haired BamBam groaned to Mark. “Hey, do you think you could adopt him and let him live here? I don't have the energy for it these days. He seems to like Lou a lot, so why not?” His eyes fell on Jinyoung, and his expression turned serious. “I forgot you'd be here. How are you holding up? You sounded pretty rough on the phone the past few days.”

Mark felt a bit of a pang at that. Jinyoung had been calling BamBam for support? That wasn't a bad thing on its own since BamBam actually understood more about the situation, but it still made Mark feel even worse about Jinyoung not telling him at all up until yesterday. He was beginning to wonder if his help was even wanted or needed here.

Jinyoung's expression wavered for a moment. “My end of the week evaluation... it was just...” He looked like he was about to start crying again.

“Say no more. I've heard of all kinds of observing teachers, and this one sounds like she's trying to be a hardass for the sake of being a hardass. She's probably trying to get you to break or show some weakness so she can feel like a proper, superior, knows-everything mentor to her knows-nothing worker bee. You can't let that happen. Come on, tell me everything that's happened, and we'll work out a way to bite back. That is, if Mark doesn't mind me staying over for a few hours?” He looked at Mark beseechingly.

“Uh...sure?” Mark said. “I mean, I was planning on watching the kids, so you can do whatever, I guess?”

“Thank you,” BamBam said solemnly. “Cooperating teachers aren't supposed to pull this kind of bull shiz on student teachers, so this is a matter of justice. I swear, we'll figure this out if its the last thing we do. Come on, Jinyoung, let's set up war room in the kitchen.”

Mark watched them as the two of them left the room. A weird feeling was surging through him, something he'd never felt before. On one hand, he was happy BamBam was here. Jinyoung needed something to get his attitude of the right path, and BamBam sounded like he knew exactly what to do. But on the other hand, he still felt a little pitiful. If Jinyoung needed help, why couldn't he help him? Why did it have to be another person? If they were supposed to be lovers, wasn't Mark supposed to be the one to fill the missing spaces Jinyoung had in his confidence and mentality?

He couldn't stop thinking of the foreign emotion plaguing him as Kit and Lou romped around the TV room, a bundle of energy that for once wasn't reaching him. Even over their chatter, he could occasionally hear BamBam and Jinyoung talking in the kitchen, and after a long while, the faint sound of Jinyoung laughing. He was relieved to hear it. He really was. He wanted Jinyoung to be happy more than he wanted anything.

But still, he couldn't help feeling something less pleasant sweeping over his heart. He hadn't been the one to make Jinyoung happy or laugh, and hadn't even been the first person he'd turned to with his worries. Was he lacking? Did Jinyoung think of him that way? And if he wasn't good enough now, wouldn't he still not be good enough later? If Jinyoung didn't fully trust him with this, how would he trust him with the more important things to come later? Mark didn't want to think of it now, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken root in his heart, and with them already planted in his mind, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to dig them back out again.