After we finished preparing for the meeting we go straight to the van because we cannot afford to be late at the company’s meeting.

If we have a group schedule we spilled into two vans or we rode by a bus coz as everyone knows that we are consist of a large group. We are using a bus if we have a schedule out of town but if it’s just nearby schedule we will just use the van. And in this case, we just use the van and we just go to the van that we want to use too. Not like when we have an individual schedule we have to go the van with the member with the same schedule as we have or with the member that has schedule along the way.

HyoYeon seats immediately into the front seat with our manager in the driver seat. Sica and I occupied the last seat at the back while YoonA and Sooyoung seats in the middle, in front of us. And the other members just use another van.

I remember the last time that Sica and Sooyoung said on one of our Radio guesting that I am the member that they didn’t want to be seated with if we are going on a schedule. I understand their reason because I know that the only rest that we can afford when we have a schedule is when we are in the van.

Before I thought that the other member is the only one that I disturbed because I never asked Sica to turn the music on. When she is with me I used my headphone to listen to music but I didn’t know that time I’m singing loudly and it disturbs her. When I learned that even she can’t take a rest on the van I make sure to myself that I need to change that kind habit coz I wanted her to be seated with me when we are having a schedule, well at least in the local schedules coz YoonA is the only member that have the right to be seated beside her on a plane when we have an overseas schedule. I’m just allowed to be with Sica on the plane when YoonA is not with us, which is not constantly.

“Oppa what is this sudden meeting all about?” Sooyoung asked. Our manager looked at her on the rearview mirror then he looks straight again on the road before he answers her question.

“I’m sorry SooYoung I can’t tell it to you, Jenny is the one that should announce it to you. But trust me this is big news for your group.”

‘Yeah right, this is big news but not for me.’ I let out a deep sigh and that caught Sica’s attention.

She leans on my shoulder and holds my hand to intertwine our fingers. “Penny for your thoughts?” she whispers. She made sure that we are the only one that can hear about this conversation.

I don’t know if anyone can notice it but the SNSD special talent as a group is ventriloquism. Everyone in the group can do it but some of us are not just good with it or I must say that it’s too obvious if they are doing it. It’s embarrassing to admit it but I am one of the members that are not good with it and Sica is included with the members that mastered that field.

We started doing it because we love to talk with each other even we are performing on stage, we are a girl group that loves to play around on stage. And of course we also need to take care of each other on the public eye; we are like the mirror of each other. Many people might not notice it but we are really talking a lot when we are performing and even on a group interview.

Maybe this is the thing that we adapted for being together since we are young. We know what the members thinking just by looking at them. Well, at least some of us coz there is still a certain person that we can’t still read what is on her mind, she’s really hard to read, Kim Taeyeon is great on hiding her true emotion, she mastered that field.

Sometimes I really wonder what’s going on her mind. But now I hate her because of what she’s doing on my princess. Especially now that I know what she has done. But I know that I will not hate her for a long time because I still consider her as my sister even though I hate how she acts toward the person that I love.

I know that in every action there are reasons for it, even though I will know what her reason is, I don’t think if I can ever understand it. But maybe, just maybe I will forgive her for what she has done because I still consider her as my sister and of course the leader of this group.

“Nah, maybe it’s just a car sick, nothing to worry about.” I give her my assuring smile so that she will not need to worry. But as expected she knows that there is something bothering me, she knows me too well.

“Are you sure?” she looks straight into my eyes like telling me ‘you better telling me what’s going on coz eventually I will know everything’

I wanted to tell her what’s eating me up since yesterday but I don’t know how. Coz I know how much pain it will cost her if she’ll know what Taeyeon just did and what she told me. I will just trust the company that they will tell her about the plan in a nice way. I don’t what to hide it from her, I hated myself for doing it but I have to, I needed to. This is all for her own good.

“Yeah. There’s no need to worry about.” I assure her or more as I assure myself about it. I hope everything will turn out well after this meeting.

“I hope that you are not acting like this because of my answer last night. I hope I make it clear that I wanted us to give it a try but I still need time. You know what’s on the line if we take our relationship into the next level, right?”

She’s right and I know it, our friendship, the group, our career, the public’s eye and of course our family’s opinion on it. I love her so much that I am willing to take all the risk just to have her. But I understand that she asked for a time to think, at least she still give me hope for saying that she wanted to give us a try.

“Trust me, baby, I understand. I totally understand.” I kissed the back of her palm and I saw how her face turns pink. I’m happy that I have that effect in her, it melts my heart.

We will take it all slow because she is right stepping on the next level is a big thing for both of us and we have to consider a lot of things before we go on to that level.

“Don’t worry I waited for over eleven years to confessed about what I truly feel about you and I’m willing to wait for a lifetime to have you as mine and I to be yours. As I’ve said you are worth the wait.” I pinch her nose. She’s so cute when she’s blushing so hard.

“Hey!” we are both startled as we heard SooYoung voice and now she looks pale, worrying that Sooyoung might be heard what we are talking about. We almost forgot that there are still other people at the van. I am most guilty on that, I always forgot that there are other people around us. Because when she is with me I felt that we are the only people in the world as if we are on our own little world.

“As I remind both of you, we promised that we will never keep a secret with each other, right?”

“O-of course. W-what do you mean by that?” It’s clear that being the most honest member, lying is so hard for her. I know SooYoung might catch her stuttering, being her first friend at the group I know she knows Sica so well. And I know if she will not be careful Sooyoung will know that we are hiding from them.

I took a glance to our manager, looking if he might hear about our conversation but as I see he is so into his driving and as I’ve known him he will not hear whatever we will talk about. And as I look over HyoYeon she is busy looking on her phone while playing music using her earpiece that’s why I’m sure that she’ll not hear our conversation. I’m not worried if YoonA will hear what this conversation might turn out coz I know that no matter what she is on our side.

“You both are acting weird since you came back home last night, especially you sleepyhead,” Sooyoung stated with her lower voice she makes sure that this conversation is just privately for us.

She’s Sica’s roommate that’s why she knows how she struggles from last night. She has the right to be suspicious because it’s not usual for a crazy sleeper for not having her proper sleep.

“There are just some things that occupy my mind. Don’t worry I’ll sleep later after this meeting since it’s my free day. I can even sleep for the whole day.” She smiles at her to assure her.

Sooyoung looks at us intertwine fingers then look straight into Sica’s eyes. “And what is that?”

I can feel that my mouth is getting dry. I hate the fact that we have to hide something from them, as Sooyoung said we promised that we can’t keep a secret in the group. But we have to, well at least for the meantime since technically Sica still didn’t have her answer about my confession. The only secret that we are keeping is about my confession last night.

“Ah…Eh…i-it’s about…” she can’t find a reason that will make SooYoung stop her suspicious on us. I wanted to help her but I can’t, if I will reason out for her Sooyoung will be more suspicious. That’s why I signaled YoonA to into their conversation and make up an excuse for Sica and as expected YoonA understands my signal.

“Sooyoung