I have been trying to call Tae-Tae on my way home after I bought our dinner because I know every one of us is having our hard day and for us Soshi having a good food will give us a good mood. But I can't reach her, I am worried because when I was listening to her program I can feel that she is having a problem, she is all over the place. This is the very first time that I heard her in that state.   I thought Jessie and Yoona will be the one who will welcome me at home but I can't find them instead I find Sunny in the living room.   "Where are Jessie and Yoona?" I asked as I scan the whole living area but I still don't see any of them.   "I'm not sure about Yoona, maybe she is on her set now. But Sica is in her room with Yuri." Sunny said as she looking straight into the TV but I can see that she doesn't have any interest in the program that she's watching.   "Are they taking a nap? I bought dinner. I knew that no one would cook for us for tonight." I said as I showed her the foods that I bought.   She just looks at me, "Good." She said flatly and she continues watching the TV.   This is not the usual Sunny that the fans know because she is one of the serious members of our group. When she is in the dorm she begins being Soonkyu. Sunny just comes out when we are outside or when we have our schedule. Soonkyu just comes out when there's something bothering her or there is something going onto her. And if that happens you better get out of her way coz she really can be a scary person.   "I'll just call them so we can eat first." I was about to walk to Jessie's room when Soonkyu suddenly speaks.   "Yul said that they can't join us for dinner, you should call Taeyeon she hasn't eaten yet."   "Tae-Tae is already here?" Soonkyu just nodded as a response. Then there something hits me...   "Did...she...-" I can't compose the question that I wanted to ask but as I see she already knew what's going on in my mind.   ---     I don’t know how I feel when I heard what Sunny said I just know that you are in pain. I can’t blame Yuri or Jessie on the pain that you’re going to coz I know that neither of them has any idea what you truly feels when they are having an intimate moment. The two of them doesn’t have a clue on what is inside of your heart. Even the other members have no idea. Until when do you want to do this? You only hurt yourself by pushing her to the other people. Just because of what? Just because of that stupid promise that you made a long time ago? And where is that person now? You don’t know if his heart doesn’t change for Jessie. You are such a pabo Tae-Tae.   “I’ll talk to her,” I said when I was about to go to your room when Sunny suddenly calls me.   “Be gentle to her she already knows that this is all her fault. Just be with her, she needs a person that can understand her not the person who’ll scold her to the things she already knows.”    She already knows that I can be HellFany once I talk to you but as she said you already know what you have done. You already know the outcome of your every action. Maybe that is enough consequence for you. And I agree to her but trust me Tae-Tae if your stubbornness comes I won’t think twice to bring HellFany to you. “I know, but when you hear the HellFany coming out from me, please save Tae-Tae.” I joked but she knows that I mean the half of it.   “Just don’t close the door.” She said as she continues watching the TV.   I leave her and walk to your room. I didn’t bother to knock coz I know that you never lock your door, because you are always open to listen to our whining but you never allowed us to listen to yours. We hated that attitude of yours. We all wanted you to open up to us just like we open up to you.   You are there, seating on the edge of your bed while you are facing your back at the door. I know you're crying your balls out. I know you are blaming yourself because of all of this. You are right, no one can blame in this situation because you are the one that causes it.   “Tae,” I said as I seat beside you. How can you cry silently like this? You are hurting yourself pabo!   You look up to me with your swollen eyes. How long have you been crying? Are you not getting tired of all of this? Me, I’m getting tired of seeing you in this stare. Can we stop all of this? Can we just go back to the old days? We all miss the old you, the dorky kid leader in you. Not like this. Some people think that you are a heartless person because of the way you treated Jessie. If only they knew what’s inside your heart they will feel sorry for you.   “The Bunny said that you haven’t eaten yet, come on I bought dinner.”   “I’m not feeling well. I’ll just eat later.” You said as you continue staring at your hands as if that is the most fascinating thing in the world.   “Is that because of them? You saw how sweet they are with each other?” it may seem that I don’t have considered on what you are going thru but trust me, babe, it hurt me more when I see you in pain. I just have to say this to you to help you to let it out all the pain that you keep holding on. This is for your own sake.   You suddenly stand up and face me with your mad expression but the more I see it, it’s more like that the pain flustered in your face, the pain that slowly kills you.   Trust me Tae I’m the first person that will get hurt once I saw you in this condition. I just need to do this because as everyone knows you have the talent to keep all the pain inside you. But you have to let it out Tae-Tae because if not it will surely kill you.   “Thank you for saying that in front of my face.” You said with venom on your mouth.   “Why? Does it make you feel better if I talk behind your back? If that’s what you want I’m more than willing to do that. It’s my p