No. 23
Bleeding HeartsMina didn’t know how much time had passed. Just that slowly, the sounds outdoors had quieted down. The town before them had slowly gone to sleep. She could see stray rays of moonlight scattering in from the window and she suddenly remembered something her mother had told her when she was younger, moonlight is beautiful, but fleeting. It’s a lot like happiness Mina, you just can never capture it perfectly. Somehow remembering her mother’s words sent a sharp pain in her chest. Unwanted thoughts slowly creeped in. She tried to ignore them only now realizing just how much Baekhyun’s annoyances had distracted her, kept her from thinking about what she so desperately wanted to forget. She sat up, surprised by the tears that were falling. It wasn’t supposed to happen so soon, she was supposed to be strong enough to hold this off for longer.
Her chest felt tight as she tried to take deep breaths. She bit her lip, fighting to stay quiet as she brought her knees into her chest and desperately tried to hold herself together.
“You’re allowed to cry you know” He said, appearing at the foot of the bed. She bit down on her lip harder, hating how humiliated she felt, she hadn’t heard him come up, he must’ve not been asleep either.
She shook her head, unable to form words. She heard him take a breath and come closer. His eyes looked strangely sympathetic as he gently ran his thumb across her lip.
“You’re bleeding” He said kindly.
She pushed his hand away, swallowing back the sob caught in .
“I’m fine” She snapped.
“Do you regret leaving him?” He asked her quietly.
She looked up at him, wiping her tears away although they kept falling and she shook her head.
“No. I had to do it. I’m glad I did… but it hurts more than I thought… it would” She said, struggling to get enough air into her lungs, running both hands through her hair.
He grabbed her by the arm, “You need air Mina” He said, for once his voice was void of jokes or teasing.
He wrenched open the doors that led outside and pushed her out into the cold air. It was soothing, the first time she inhaled it. It pricked her skin lightly, bringing feeling back into her, calming her. She swore as she gripped her arms tightly, angry at herself, at everyone. She felt his hand on her back, it moved up until it rested on her shoulder.
“Unfortunately, I can’t promise you that you’re going to be fine” He said seriously.
She looked over at him and took comfort in the hand on her shoulder, in the company he brought to her. She hadn’t been wrong, she had needed someone after all. Strangely enough, she found herself grateful for his presence. The presence of the stranger who had so randomly appeared that night at the party. Like an everlasting presence in her mind, Sehun’s warning echoed in her mind.
“Are you using me? Is any of this genuine?” She asked in a whisper, not looking at him.
“Why do you ask that?”
“Sehun assured me that was the case”
“Would it matter? You love him, don’t you? What would it matter if I tried?” He said calmly, taking his hand away from her shoulder, burying it in his pocket instead.
She found that she missed the warmth at her shoulder.
“It would matter to me” She said thoughtfully, “I’m tired of lies”
It would’ve been easy enough to do just that, lie. Say that there was nothing, but for as goal oriented that Baekhyun had been, he couldn't find it in him to lie at that moment.
“The lies wouldn’t matter if you don’t like me as much as you like to claim”
She sighed, “What does that mean? You’re not answering anything”
“It means that. I’m only human and am willing to separate business with my private life”
“So what? You’d only use me as you see fit, but somehow be my friend?”
“I’m saying that I’m capable of compartmentalizing my r
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