Chapter 9: Scintilla 
scintilla: (n.) a tiny trace or spark of a feeling 

Apparently, Seungcheol has this invisible power over Jihoon that gives him the authority to drag him anywhere even if it means it would be life-threatening and dangerous. It’s probably Jihoon’s unfading trust even though he might lose his life but today, it’s not like Seungcheol dragged him into another mess. Seungcheol just deliberately failed all his blind dates, only to end up with one girl he used to like. Im Nayeon, a name that Jihoon heard and almost forgot, suddenly called Seungcheol in to meet up in the place where she first met him. Seungcheol said he might actually try and date Nayeon so he decided to bring Jihoon, which in return, the smaller male aggressively declined. Jihoon‘s sure that whoever Nayeon is, Seungcheol must’ve been missing her and he doesn’t need to be there to witness that. Being single is one but being the 3rd wheel is more than enough.

But here he is, walking with Seungcheol, heading to a fancy restaurant that was just a few blocks away.

“Since you involved me with this...” Jihoon reluctantly started, “Who’s Nayeon?”

Seungcheol nonchalantly swung an arm around the tiny male’s shoulders and yawned, “Can you believe that she was my first love?”

Jihoon was taken aback at the mention of love and out of nowhere, felt an uncomfortable ache in his chest and stomach. He doesn’t know where that came from but he completely shrugged it off. He eyed the dark-haired man quizzically, “You were in love?”

Seungcheol met his gloomy eyes and let out a low chuckle, “I know it’s ridiculous but someone like me can fall in love too, you know.”

“That’s not what I meant...” It could be what Jihoon meant but he doesn’t even know himself; not knowing why he wants to know more of the details. Perhaps he desires to know more about what love should feel. “How did you know you were in love the first time around?”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t – “ Seungcheol gave him a pityingly amused look before continuing, “Aish, you are just so out of this world.”

Jihoon growled with a murderous intent and fumed, “Can you please just explain to me how?”

Seungcheol scratched the back of his head and uncaringly spoke, “If you need love advice, I’m not much help. All I know is that it just happens.”

Jihoon breathlessly sighed, not exactly aware as to how to react to that. He slightly winced as he felt the strange twinge in his chest arose once again. It wasn’t physical, it was one of those hurt you get when you see a crush with another but far greater, stronger and deadlier to his taste. He doesn’t understand what it could mean and maybe he’s really afraid to know. Perhaps giving the questions way to leave his mouth will make him feel more satisfied and possibly, take this pain away. He’s the type to bottle up his feelings but this is Seungcheol and he doesn’t need to hold back. He stared at the moving pace of their feet and mumbled under his breath, “Are you still in love with her?”

Seungcheol widely grinned and strongly denied, “Of course not! She’s like a sister to me, as of now. You probably thought I still do because I got mad at that guy for calling her a bìtch but nah.”

At the words spoken, Jihoon felt a puzzling feeling of relief, like a part of him was actually waiting for this exact response to come from Seungcheol’s mouth. He also felt faintly frightened when he suddenly remembered the horrible scene of Seungcheol fighting a crippled man a few days ago. But all the same, he should forget about it and focus more on what’s happening now. “Then how are you supposed to date her?” Jihoon asked, adjusting himself in Seungcheol’s arms that are still tangled around his.

“I know. It could be impossible since something else, other than my lack of feelings, is holding me back. I’ll try though.”

Jihoon didn’t bother asking because his face shouts a whole lot of whats that Seungcheol soon acknowledged. Seungcheol slowly pulled his arm away and pushed both his hands in his pockets, as if in deep thought. He took a few moments before breaking the silence, “Someone else captivated my heart.”

Jihoon cringed and shook his head, “Really? With that womanizing of yours?”

Seungcheol scoffed, a sarcastic tone showing in his voice, “Have you seen me with women these days? Who do I hang out with the most?”

Jihoon’s squinty eyes enlarged in surprise. Seungcheol likes – “You like Mingyu?”

Seungcheol briefly groaned in frustration and hit his forehead with his palm repeatedly as if he heard the dumbest joke in the world. Right after, he fell into fits of laughter and his lips out of habit, “Do you see me with him these days? Gosh, you’re unbelievably stupid for someone who appears to have a higher IQ than me. Figure out who it is yourself.”

Jihoon lightly punched him in the shoulder and pouted, “Can you at least tell me a clue?” In return, Seungcheol pinched his cheeks and refused to talk. Jihoon whined a little more and pushed him away, mindful of the identity of the special person in Seungcheol’s life. 

“The person I like is adorably small and unexpectedly so y but can be pretty oblivious to everything, including my obvious flirting.” Seungcheol winked and trailed off to a more solemn tone, “Also unattainable, almost impossible to be claimed as mine.”

“I don't even care anymore,” Jihoon taunted, rolling his eyes. What he said was a terrible lie though because everything Seungcheol just said intrigued him quite a lot. Who is that person Seungcheol can’t claim as his when he can make anyone kneel before him? I know it’s not me, it’s not like I’m hoping it to be me either. Seungcheol swings both ways so it could possibly be just anyone. But it’s really difficult to think about. Someone small, y yet oblivious and unattainable? Sounds like someone hard to deal with. Jihoon just brushed it aside and thought that he shouldn’t be so curious about something totally unrelated to him. 

•

It’s an established fact that Jihoon hates everything expensive, including... no, especially this one. The restaurant was almost full because hundreds of people rushed to it, outside on the crowded street. Disturbed by the blast of wind, some of the customers glance up whenever the door is swung open. A group of young women collapsed with malicious giggles as an old couple ate side by side. Businessmen and tourists tried to decipher the menu while there’s a family in another. A stern man dined alone while frowning at everyone that Jihoon reminds so much of himself. The noise level was mildly high but since this proves to be a fancy restaurant, it was considered elegant more than anything else. It wasn’t the usual welcoming atmosphere Jihoon loved, there was nothing warm and cheery about it. It gives him the same impression he had upon entering Seungcheol’s spacious house; bright lights and colors speak the wall’s hue.

Jihoon shifted his eyes through the crowd and suddenly saw a young woman perked and waved a hand towards their way. He wondered who she’s waving at until he realized. This, she must be Nayeon. He looked up at Seungcheol, only to find that he already disappeared in her way. Jihoon scowled and rolled his eyes, that is indeed Nayeon. He felt apprehensively tense and stared intently at the two figures sharing an awkward embrace that soon exchanged greetings. See? This is the reason why I didn’t want to be here in the first place. Feeling a little forgotten, he swiftly walked away.

Seungcheol noticed immediately and forcefully pulled him close, turning him around. Holding Jihoon firmly by his lower back, Seungcheol introduced him to her with a pleasant smile. Jihoon craved to pass away right then and there as Nayeon took a moment to observe him and actually, judge him. He also caught a glimpse of the dislike in Nayeon’s eyes as Jihoon could only assume that she thinks that he will be a huge er in their date. Another reason to hate everything about this.

Jihoon shot a short glare at the tall man who’s only been staring at him the whole time before faking a smile to meet Nayeon’s supposedly genuine one. He greeted her and she greeted back with a hint of annoyance in her voice. She looked sweet, gentle and stunning yet an evil aura comes out of her, Jihoon could only think that it might be his stupid instincts fooling him but he could be right. He shifted his gaze to the two and realized how gorgeous they look together and somewhere inside Jihoon, the idea of them romantically dating weirdly hurts and saddens him. He doesn’t know why but this is also one of the few things he’d rather bottle up. 

Seungcheol coaxed them to sit together in a clean unoccupied table that had everything in. Jihoon wanted to slip away but Seungcheol noticed everything he’s intending to do and shrewdly kept him caged. Jihoon sighed heavily in defeat, looking anywhere other than the two. Uncomfortable silence engulfed their table that Jihoon welcomed to plan about his possible escape from this mess. He went into a daze until he felt a pair of eyes digging against his skin. He huffed knowing that it was just Seungcheol being weird again.

“What’s your order?” Seungcheol whispered in his ears that made Jihoon flinch at the intimacy.

Jihoon loured, “Anything, don’t care.”

“Damn, why are you being–“

Nayeon silenced him by dictating her own orders preferably loud for the startled waiter. Then, the waiter slightly bowed and grimaced his way to meet other customers’ demands, finally leaving that scary woman.

Seungcheol didn’t even care and still stared at an alarmed Jihoon but continued to start a casual talk with Nayeon, “So how have you been?”

She waved a hand in front of his face as if to signal him that her presence is there. Seungcheol could only snicker at her actions and absently stated, “I was asking you, Nayeon.”

She jabbered, “I’ve been great! Since it has been a hype for me this year, I was thinking of starting a singing career. What do you think?”

That’s when Seungcheol only met her gaze and Jihoon noticed the sparkles in Seungcheol’s eyes at the mention of a singing career. “It suits you but you know, Jihoonie here could also –“

Jihoon widened his eyes and kicked Seungcheol’s shin under the table to shut him up. Nayeon quirked a brow to inquire but decided to keep hushed. Why does Seungcheol keep on bringing Jihoon up in their conversation when he should be pouring all his attention on the girl he was supposed to be meeting after years of separation? It felt as if it became Jihoon’s date with Seungcheol while Nayeon is acting as the 3rd wheel.

Everyone gradually recovered from the awkwardness when the food came with a surprising aroma that comes with the beautiful presentation of the awaiting dishes. It looked clearly expensive and way out of Jihoon’s cheap tastes. He gulped down, inspecting the main course laid out and ready to be eaten. He stared at it for a long while even though he’s aware that the other two in the table are already eating. He hates it; the food and everything else.

Dramatically, a spoonful of food was held in front of his gaze. Jihoon got his lovely smile that was almost lost and peered over the identified giver.

Seungcheol flashed a sheepish grin before insisting, “Open your mouth. It’s delicious, I swear. After this, we can eat wherever you like. ”

Jihoon shyly gaped his mouth as the taller male fed him until they fell into stifled laughter and giggles. A blush crept into the smaller male’s puffy cheeks. Isn’t it weird how he hates everything about this place yet Seungcheol made everything feel warmer and more at home? They shared a comfortable silence and stared into each other’s eyes. The tension was blown away when a nearly forgotten soul cleared to subtly gain their attention and intervene. Seungcheol wasn’t even fazed until Jihoon had no choice but nudge his chest rather painfully to make him turn his attention towards the purported star of the night.

Seungcheol tittered, “A-Ah yeah! What is it Nayeon?”

“I wasn’t saying anything,” She replied with an empty smile stretched in his face. Jihoon wanted to face-palm himself and hide for being so insensitive. He can’t help but feel guilty that he might be ruining Seungcheol and Nayeon’s night. It was Seungcheol’s fault for involving him with this anyway, knowing that this would likely happen. Jihoon attempted to avert both their gazes to avoid any embarrassing interactions, forcing the other two into another unwanted conversation once again.

An idea popped up in his mind amidst of thinking. He excused himself from the other two, using the bathroom as his escape. Seungcheol demanded to come with him but he strongly rejected, saying that he’s independent enough to pee on his own in which Nayeon caught on his lie and instead of commenting, she supported the plan.

Instead of going where he said