Chapter 8: Sankofa

sankofa: akan; (n.)(phr.) "go back and fetch it"; reclaiming the past to move forward

“Good morning princess! As always you look –“

“Amazing, I know. Can we move on?” Jihoon yawned, stretching his arms. His eyes slightly squinted at the bright light meeting him as he opens the door more to give Seungcheol way inside his room. Just by seeing Seungcheol, he felt a sudden free feeling. Jihoon thinks that, so far, he did the right thing to share his story to Seungcheol because right now, he’s not feeling any sign of regret. Instead, a heavy burden was lifted off his shoulders. And somehow he feels like he could actually mend his heart. But of course, he can’t be so sure just yet, who knows? Yet thinking about negative things so early will ruin the start of his good day so he decided to live in the present and smile his worries away. Because he has a plan dedicated solely to Seungcheol this day. 

Seungcheol had his arms wide open for him but Jihoon proceeded to laugh at his attempt to hug him. Jihoon wondered why Seungcheol is up so early this morning. Perhaps it’s just the way everything feels right at the moment. “Rather than a hug, I’m feeling a bit cafe latte from a coffee shop today...” Jihoon pouted cutely as to signal Seungcheol to get his message.

“Since you obviously want me to, with you strangely acting so adorable, I’ll go out and buy one for my Jihoon.” Seungcheol pleasantly smirked, feeling contented knowing that the jolly and cute Jihoon is back. He coaxed the smaller male to exit his shell with a hand gently tugging Jihoon’s, going downstairs. It was a soothing gesture and it’s already making Jihoon’s heart thrum. Their hands fit so right, like they were made for holding hands. When they reached below, Seungcheol seemed hesitant but had to let go first. Both of them noticed the feeling of emptiness in their hands after they slowly part yet no one said anything. Seungcheol, instead, wrapped his trench coat around himself and readied his wallet. It’s exceptionally colder outside today. Before waving his short goodbye, he smiled at a sleepy Jihoon having yawn tears in his eyes. Seungcheol stole a final glance at him then soon made his way to the front door; the servants insisting on opening it for him.

Jihoon’s plan is going well. He rejoiced silently and waited for the door to slam behind him before striding towards the maids, checking if traces of Seungcheol’s presence are nowhere to be found. “Is he gone?” He whispered. The servants nodded enthusiastically, sheepish grins stretched in their aging faces. Jihoon, then, widened his mischievous smile along with them and danced to victory. He should be an actor instead. Everyone around him stared in awe while he guffawed his way to shut himself inside the bathroom. He turned the shower on to take a steamy shower that contrast today’s frost. His plan is just simple. He wanted to pay back Seungcheol’s efforts. The latter always treated him well, grant him things he never received. He wants to do the same using one of his skills. But the problem is, would it be enough?

The shower ended shortly. He dried himself with Seungcheol’s towel hanging in a metal handle but briefly froze when he realized how stupid he is. He forgot to bring his own change of clothes because he’s too absorbed in excitement to finally repay Seungcheol’s hospitality. ! Now I’m more stupid. Now that he remembers, another provoking fact popping up, Seungcheol put all Jihoon’s clothes for laundry without his permission. What is he gonna wear now? There’s nothing in there but towels and bathroom equipment. Completely useless.

No choice. He opened the door slightly showing only his eyes peering for someone nearby. “Um, I’m sorry. Can you please hand me clothes?”

“I’m sorry, mister but they’re not yet dry.” The young servant turned her attention from sweeping the floor to him, momentarily pausing to observe his situation. Out of nowhere, she wiggled her eyebrows in a teasing manner and suggested, “Would you like young master’s clothes instead? I’m sure he won’t mind.”

Jihoon blinked at her, trying to stop his face from blushing. Since he had no choice at all, he nodded reluctantly. A bathrobe would be nice too but he’ll still end up in Seungcheol’s clothes anyway so it’s just a bother. Seungcheol won’t mind. They’re friends, friends share clothes sometimes. Right? The maid returned with a handful of the expensive-looking wardrobe in her hand, handing it promptly to Jihoon. He mumbled a quick ‘thank you’ and sneakily snatched them away from her hands. He slammed the door shut in her face in shame. He laid Seungcheol’s clothes near the sink, quietly inspecting them. No matter how much he loathes luxurious things, he still had no choice but to wear them. He let out a stifled sigh before raising his hands to welcome the warmth the sweatshirt provided. As expected, it was almost twice his size and it made him look like he was shrinking. People consider this adorable? I look like an idiot. His thoughts blew forth and his discomfort was replaced when Seungcheol’s musky scent found its way to heighten his senses. He sniffed on it and felt his heart hum a familiar melody. He can’t help but smile lovingly, his cheeks heating up in joy. Seungcheol’s cologne smells really nice. He reached for Seungcheol’s jeans this time but as expected, it was too large for his skinny waist. He just went with the pair of short trousers that end just above his knees. If this is Seungcheol’s boxers, expiring from Earth would be a great idea.

He went out of the bathroom, eyes roaming the halls, not minding the cold hitting his exposed skin. The coffee shop is slightly far but that doesn’t mean time isn’t running out. He darted towards the kitchen, shoving the door open rather aggressively. The servants threw him questioning looks that he soon dodged until one of them asked if he needed assistance. He rejected the offer politely, feeling self-conscious about his ridiculous outfit due to their stares. He’s aware that it makes him look tinier than he already is. Luckily, the maids different from Seungcheol who would likely be teasing him by now.

He played with the hem of his shirt, trying to utter a single word. “I’m sorry for...um... troubling anyone but I need to use the kitchen to make Seungcheol something...” That is so awkward, he doesn't know how to make people leave without sounding rude.

One of them spoke, getting what he meant. “Ah sure. Of course, darling! We’ll give you all the time you need. Just call us if you need help, okay?” Jihoon let out a sigh of relief, bowing to them courteously and deliberately holding the door open for them. He’s not used to treating people as his servants because he’d rather work for himself than make others work for him. After all, he was forced to live independently for most of his living years in this world. The servants gave him words of encouragement, boosting his low self-esteem.

When they were completely out of sight, he arranged all the ingredients and kitchen utensils he will need. He handled them carefully one by one, recognizing that he’s standing in a rich family’s kitchen. One scratch done may lead to him selling his body outside for the payment. Hell, Seungcheol’s clothes are probably more expensive than his whole house. He beat the eggs together first in a mixing bowl, his eyes twinkling in bliss. It’s not like he’s making something special or overly fancy but he just wants to give Seungcheol anything at all. He would try and do something more “romantic” but that would be for next time.

Would this really be enough? Jihoon can’t lie, he’s overthinking so much, something he always does. He’s imagining ways of how would Seungcheol react. Considering how much of an he is, he will be likely teasing Jihoon in no time. Like pestering about how much he likes him and all. But again, he can’t be so sure. Seungcheol is always full of surprises, his actions are always unpredictable. Jihoon will just have to wait for later.

Even if it’s not as big or expensive, he’s finally doing something for someone. Something he never does for just anyone; that means he must have grown really fond of Seungcheol. In a way. He smiled once again, feeling like he’s on top of the world. While combining everything in a saucepan, his voice started to hum a tune that made time almost seem unmoving.

“Stay with me, I still can’t be
In the rain alone without you...”

He sang his heart out but kept down a silent voice. He finished composing this song with his own hands and singing it now lifted his pride unless someone actually hears him. Sharing the sound of his voice is on the top of his embarrassing-things-to-do-in-front-of-other-people list because he feels discouraged about the limits of his vocals. Although Seungcheol had heard him sing before and gave him heartwarming words, it still didn’t faze Jihoon’s thoughts. He doesn’t consider singing as his personal talent, more like a try-hard skill of his. He’d rather write.

“It’s just a passing downpour~”

Jihoon continued singing but lost his voice when he caught a glimpse of a lean figure leaning in the doorframe. He gasped in surprise at the possible threat but his expression soon morphed into a stern glare when he realized who it was, “How long have you been standing there?”

Seungcheol watched him fondly, letting out a soft chuckle, “Longer than you’d like.” He loves hearing Jihoon’s voice, even if the other doesn’t like it himself. For him, Jihoon’s voice is unlike any other, unique and expressive that made Seungcheol’s heart sway in every word sang.

Seungcheol reached out to stop Jihoon’s movement with his hands which made the smaller male slap his hand away in annoyance. Seungcheol winked and his lips, “Jihoon, you really look good in my clothes.”

Jihoon’s mouth gaped at the sudden remark and attempted to ignore his gaze, a blush crawling to his cheeks. He almost forgot that he’s in Seungcheol’s clothes. He mumbled, “I-I’m not on your shirt.” It was a weak lie but at least he tried.

Seungcheol eyed him from his head down to his toes, trying to stop himself from devouring him and smirked. “A sweatshirt that goes way down to your thighs? Sure, whatever you say.” Jihoon flushed even more, wanting to melt Seungcheol with him to hell and murder him. He should just stop his sweet plan because this guy keeps on getting on his nerves. Seungcheol gently grabbed Jihoon’s chin with two fingers to meet his eyes, “Look into my eyes so you can see how sincere I am... Jihoonie, I love your voice. So much.” Although Seungcheol grinned like a madman, that compliment made Jihoon’s stomach swirl; unknowingly desiring the feeling to linger. He didn’t expect that to come from Seungcheol’s mouth out of nowhere. It was a simple praise, it’s nothing to feel so weird for if only Seungcheol wasn’t touching him like this.  

“I wrote it... um... the song,” Jihoon mumbled while slowly pushing Seungcheol’s grip aside.

“It’s beautiful. I hope you let me hear the whole song in the near future.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes back to whatever he’s doing but appreciated Seungcheol’s words in the end. He’s not fishing for compliments or anything like that. “Wait outside, do something useful,” Jihoon seethed.

“You're useful, can I do you instead?”

Jihoon raised a brow in confusion, searching for what he exactly meant by that before abruptly catching up. “You did not just say –“

“But baby, I just did~” Seungcheol lilted before carefully placing the still warm coffee cup in one of the kitchen stools. He allowed himself to stealthily retreat outside without letting Jihoon notice.

Because Jihoon felt pity about giving Seungcheol silent treatment, he turned around with an intent to reply but only was left to see a coffee cup that almost fell behind him. He frowned at Seungcheol’s absence but rapidly got his spirit uplifted when he spotted words in place of his name in the cup. He felt butterflies rampage in his stomach in a way