Park Chanyeol, the man who can’t have me.

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what he is in my life the same way I can’t believe that he has somehow developed feelings for me despite the position he has. It was so unexpected. How he entered my life was so unexpected. But Park Chanyeol is very much a part of my life as the other two men and actually, his part is probably more significant than the other two because Park Chanyeol is actually… my step-brother.

On the first year of my high school, things didn’t start off well. I was struggling to fit in to a new school because my parents had just gotten divorced. They separated me and my sister. I was stuck with my father while my sister was with my mom. I was completely devastated. I felt sadness eat me up from the inside.

I was depressed enough at the sudden separation and the new, overwhelming atmosphere around me but it worsened when my father already had another woman in his life just three months after the divorce. Right when I saw her walking into our house, right when she smiled at me sweetly and introduced herself as my ‘new’ mother, I knew I’d hate her.

She can never be my mom. How dare she? How dare she claim that and how dare she suddenly barge into our lives? I hated her with a burning passion but as much as I wanted to drive her out of my life, I couldn’t bring myself to disrespect her.

That’s not like me, no matter how much I hated her. I masked my dislike for her by simply ignoring her existence. She tried to reach out to me but I built a wall between us. I couldn’t lash out on her because I knew she made my father happy and that she loved him. I’m sort of mad at him for being in relationship again but he is still my father and I love him enough to let him be on this. Still, it pained and angered me sometimes and I took my pent up anger out on her son, my new step-brother, Park Chanyeol.

The first time they moved in with us, I locked myself in my room, refusing to meet him. I didn’t like it that yet another person was being forced in my life. I promised to say in my room for the entire day but then my stomach started grumbling. I needed food so I sneaked out of my room, trying my best not to bump into my step-mom or Chanyeol.  I successfully made it to the kitchen without getting caught or so I thought.

“Hi!” His low voice boomed inside the kitchen. I jumped, the plate of food I had in my hands dropping to the ground. “Oh no!” I could hear the footsteps of my father and my step-mother running down the stairs and I panicked. I knelt down, quickly gathering the broken pieces and Chanyeol did the same.

“You should’ve been careful. Here, I’ll take the broken pieces. You might hurt yourself,” he said softly as he took the broken pieces from my hand. My blood boiled out of nowhere and the moment my parents got inside, I snapped at Chanyeol. “This is your ing fault you idiot! If you didn’t scare me, I wouldn’t have dropped it!”

I got scolded pretty badly for swearing at him and blaming him for my mistake. There was hurt in his eyes when he looked at me but he still apologized to me and told my parents that it was his fault. He convinced them to stop yelling at me. He even cleaned up the mess that I made. I didn’t know why but I got even madder at him then. I knew I should be anything but mad but I felt as though his kindness towards me was just a show so I end up looking like the bad guy (even if I really was).

I thought he’d hate me. I didn’t really let up after that incident. I always a lot about his elfish ears and his unbelievable height. ‘Elf giant,’ I used to call him. I was always so mean to him but he would always respond with hearty laugher, like I was just joking when in reality, I meant every word of it to be hurtful and insulting. My teasing would go overboard sometimes.

Even I could tell that it was way too much but he had never said anything bad back about me. I wasn’t heartless. I felt so guilty and so ashamed of myself. I couldn’t continue to treat him like that so one day, I decided to finally apologize. I saw the surprise in h