A Markjin fiction
a chaptered fan fic

“Don’t you think an orchestra is a bit too much, Youngjae?” Mark said, unsure of Youngjae’s suggestion, for him it seemed too melodramatic and extra, “I’m crashing that out” he said as he marked a red X beside the suggestion.

Youngjae’s pouted, “Okay” he said. Mark smiled at his friend then gave him a pat on the shoulder, “These hanging lights sounds good though. I’m not going for something romantic like candles, I want something light hearted and these hanging lights seemed like a good idea” Mark nodded to himself, his attention on the notebook over his hand while sitting comfortable on the sofa of his room. Youngjae beamed at Mark’s comment, his three minutes of searching on Google didn’t go to waste, “Should we do that, hyung?” Mark nodded in reply. Youngjae happily skipped to his iPad on the kitchen counter to type all details and reservations for the restaurant with special requests.

“Does this seem cheesy? This does, right? I’m so cheesy” Mark mumbled but enough to be heard by Youngjae, Youngjae shook his head, “Not at all, hyung. It’s alright” he reassured the older one as Mark ribbed his nape, nervous about what’s to come.

“Hyung, it’s going to be fine and Jinyoung will without a doubt appreciate the effort” Youngjae was right, Jinyoung would appreciate all the efforts Mark had invested in especially starting with the daily gifts and coming to South Korea for this. Mark wanted Jinyoung to know that he’ll do anything for Jinyoung, the amount he had for the latter is infinite and  he could love him with a great passion then he’d also do everything for Jinyoung with also the amount of passion.

Mark wasn’t going to expect something in return, he just wants to express the love he failed to do when they were together, he isn’t breaking the relationship between Jaebum and Jinyoung, only a selfish person would do that and Mark wasn’t that kind of person. Being acknowledge was the only goal set in his mind and to see Jinyoung again, to see his great love and the love he had slip in his grasp, a person he regret losing and he had to face that all his life but doesn’t mean he’d be devastated all through his life, he just have to find a way of closure and peace.

“I just want this to go smoothly” Mark smiled, it was now or never and Mark would never settle for the latter. He was ready to do this, there is no backing out and he also has the boys to encourage him. Mark felt like he was going to accomplish something big soon and he was looking forward for it, nervousness still hasn’t faded but yes, he is ready.

Jinyoung sat awkwardly at the restaurant with three pairs of eyes carefully observing him and the spark in their eyes, seemingly like they have something that Jinyoung didn’t know and he won’t settle for bring clueless and oblivious. Jinyoung set his knife and fork down and stared at the three boys around the table with him, “Spill it out” Jinyoung commanded and the three boys pressed their lips together, subtly nudging each other under the table, “I know you’re hiding something from me and I will get it out no matter what”

Jackson whimpered, Jinyoung was always right and it will take a couple of minute until one of them spills everything so Jackson had to sacrifice himself as he mentally apologized to Mark. He eyed the guys, signalling them that he should take the fall.

Bambam and Yugyeom  knew Jackson wouldn’t risk spilling all of Mark’s plans, they trust him so they just kept their mouth shut yet anxious about what Jackson had to say.

“Oh by the way” Jinyoung said before Jackson was about to spill his thoughts, the three guys gave him a questioned look before asking Jinyoung what was up. “I wasn’t able to talk to Jaebum last night. I will do it tonight. I hope by the time I come home, he is already there” Jinyoung said, the rest of the boys had a serious expression plastered on their faces, knowing this was really important for Jinyoung. “It’ll go well, hyung” Yugyeom reassured him earning a soft smile from Jinyoung.

“So...” Jinyoung continued, “What were you about to say, Jackson?” Jackson cursed under his breath, thinking he could get away with it but he was wrong, Jinyoung was going to push on the matter and suddenly all the words drained inside his head “Uhh” Jackson trailed on,  dragging on the matter ever more. “” Jackson cursed under his breath again, mentally apologizing to Mark over and over. “It’s Mark” Jackson spilled, Jinyoung breath hitched upon hearing the words come out of Jackson’s mouth, “W-What about Mark” he softly said, braising himself from what Jackson may about to say. The younger ones were also curious, thinking to themselves that Jackson would surely not spill the important parts like Mark already preparing to meet Jinyoung or Mark’s plans with Jaebum.

“Mark’s in Seoul” and the words made Jinyoung’s heart beat even faster, furiously than it ever was, “He..He’s here?” Jinyoung had to reassure what he heard was right then Jackson nodded, “Yes, he is” Jinyoung was speechless, mouth slightly ajar, “Of course. Of course you get to know it first. You’re his best friend after all” Jinyoung felt dumb for a second, thinking Jackson wouldn’t get involved in this but he was wrong, very wrong. Jackson was deeply more involved than he thought he was.

“Yes” Jackson nodded, “If you’re trying to make me spill, you will fail because this is exclusive” Jackson warned him, dramatically pointing his index finger right in front of Jinyoung’s face who looked lost and confused for a second then gasped when he realized, “There’s more?” Jackson nodded, moving his finger across his lips in a zipped manner, telling Jinyoung that his lips are sealed. “Best friend code” Jackson said earning an eye roll from Jinyoung, “Whatever” but inside, Jinyoung felt an immense amount of curiosity, what else could Jackson been hiding? What else does he know? He scanned at the boys in front of him and somehow landed to a pair of silent young boys, “You both have been silent all throughout the conversation. Have you known Mark had been here all along?” the pair slowly nodded their head, biting their bottom lip, scared that Jinyoung might blow up and would start being a talking mess.

“And nobody even had the ball to tell me?” Jinyoung scoffed, expression in disbelief upon the confession the boys revealed. “We are sorry, Nyoung but we have to do what we had to do. It’s also not easy on Mark’s part, you should know about how he feels more than anyone else” Jackson said and he was right, Jinyoung knew what Mark’s doing isn’t easy and it takes an amount of courage to do it, he nodded his head “You’re right, hyung. I understand”, earning a satisfied smile from Jackson. “Hyung, just wait and see. And maybe not think about it a lot” Bambam smiled, “That’s hard, knowing Mark’s in Seoul and basically can be anywhere around the city”. “Trust me, we know where Mark is and don’t even think about making us spill it” Yugyeom said, earning a glare from Jinyoung “I won’t, okay?” he scoffed, leaning on his seat and folding his arms over his chest, “I won’t, even if I’m dying of curiosity here”.

“Will you be okay, hyung?” Youngjae nervously asked as he followed Mark going in and out of his room, preparing to meet one of the most important people in his life tonight. Mark never thought he would he would be able to face him again in different circumstances, but he have to because Jinyoung wasn’t that bachelor person he knew before, Jinyoung was married with Jaebum and that meant Jaebum deserves to know what has been happening in his partner’s life and that meant Jaebum also had to face Jinyoung’s admirer. Mark planned to ask Jaebum’s permission to talk, and just talk with Jinyoung. So, Mark wore neat clothes to look presentable as he kept walking in and out of his room in case he forgot something with Youngjae trailing behind him.

“I’m a grown man, Youngjae. I will be fine” he reassured his anxious friend, worried expression evident on his face, Mark halted on his tracks then faced Youngjae, both hands gripping on the latter’s shoulder, “No need to get worked up. There won’t be any fist fights if that’s what you’re worried about” Mark snickered before patting Youngjae on the cheek then put his expensive Rolex on, ready to drive to where he and Jaebum will be meeting. Youngjae exhaled and nodded, “Okay, hyung”.

Mark headed to a familiar, the road he spent passing during his college years, it was the road near their university and it brought a lot of memories back but Mark had no time to reminisce the memories spent during the happiest years of his life since he is nearing towards the fast food restaurant where Jaebum and him spent most of their time hanging out and talking, just the two of them. The place wasn’t filled with a crowd of people since it wasn’t one of those famous fast food chains, just what Mark and Jaebum wanted. It serves pounds and pounds of greasy burgers with their preferred toppings like cheese, tomatoes and a couple of lettuce leaf with potato wedges on the side. Mark parked on the small alleyway and walked towards the place, the smell brought back a lot of fond memories which sent a smile on Mark’s face. He opened the wooden door wide which sent the chimes ringing, he browsed the small space for a familiar face which he spotted after a few seconds, chills and nervousness were what Mark felt but he could not deny the fact that he was glad he could finally see Jaebum after five years, a rush of happiness and gratefulness was sent in Mark’s chest. Jaebum was busy munching on his potato wedges and still haven’t noticed the man standing before him not until Mark started speaking, “Jaebum” which earned Jaebum to lift his head at the source and then a wide smile plastered on his face.

“Mark hyung. It’s been a while” Jaebum still in surprise, stood up and gave Mark a hug, a firm grip around him before Jaebum let him go and ushered him to seat before he took a seat himself.

“Why do you want to talk to me suddenly? I mean I’m not shocked at that but why do you want this meeting only between us?” Jaebum wondered. Mark chewed on his bottom lip because talking to the husband of the person he loves felt weird yet he shook the thoughts away, they were friends before Jaebum and Jinyoung were married.

“You probably have some kind of idea about what I am about to do” Mark nervously looked at Jaebum who seemed perplexed at Mark’s words then gasped as he purposely placed his hand over his chest, “A-are you going to kiss me?” Jaebum let out an exaggerated gasp, earning an eye roll from Mark.

“Bro, I’m serious” Mark let out a slight pout, convincing him that he was all serious, “I’m doing this because I respect you and you’re like a family to me” he explained, Jaebum who sensed Mark was serious, nodded his head in understanding, an expression of curiosity about what Mark has about to ask.

“What is it?”Jaebum asked, Mark felt shaky and palms sweating at the growing anxiety inside, if only he had brought a pack of cigarettes with him but he was convinced it would go smoothly but now seating face to face with Jaebum felt the contrast to what he expected, he played with his fingers under the table, his chapped lips as he nervously made an eye contact with Jaebum, “I will sound like a , just be ready for that” he warned him, earning Jaebum to crease him forehead in curiously because what could possibly be in Mark’s mind right now for him to say those words.

“Mark hyung” Jaebum said, “What is it? I wouldn’t think of you as one big, douche, , not ever” Mark chewed the bottom of his lips because this was harder than it’s supposed to be.

Mark might be all powerful and responsible but stammering and getting flustered and shy will always be in his system, flowing through his veins like blood and that time wasn’t supposed to be the shy Mark asking for Jaebum’s permission but a stern, convincing Mark but he thought, it’s better to ask Jaebum’s permission from the Mark he knew and not the business man Mark Jaebum had never met.

“I’m just going to apologize ahead, okay? From what I am about to do”

Jaebum sat up straight and had a confused look plastered on his face, “Mark hyung, you’re scaring me” he said as he knitted his eyebrows together, looking at Mark, trying to solve the puzzle inside his friend’s head.

“I’m not going to hurt you... physically” he softly said, he readied himself and took a deep breath before proceeding to the purpose of today’s agenda. He took a couple of breaths before meeting Jaebum’s eye. An eye is like a window to one’s soul and Jaebum got Mark all figured out, Mark’s eyes looked scared and anxious and Jaebum could feel a determined attitude in those hazel eyes of Mark, he smiled and said, “Hyung, its okay. Just say it” Mark eased down at Jaebum’s soft words and encouraged Mark to just spill it all.

“It’s about Jinyoung” Mark started, he observed Jaebum’s expression and it seemed the latter wasn’t at all surprised, he warmly smiled at Mark and nodded, telling him to continue. “C-Can I borrow him for one night? W-wait. Oh my god. T-that didn’t sound right. W-what I was supposed to say is that, can I borrow him for a dinner; I just want to talk to him. I won’t do anything over the line, I swear” Mark nervously spilled his words at the person in front of him who seemed quite calm despite the words Mark tried to calmly say but failed.

“J-Jaebum” Mark stuttered, glancing at Jaebum who just stared at him which made Mark nervously gulp and fidget on his seat, “I’m sorry” he softly said.

“Mark hyung” he started, Mark tensed at the mention of his name, eyes fixed at Jaebum, figuring out what Jaebum might be feeling at this moment. Anger? Frustration? Upset? Disappointment? Rage? Sad? It all boiled down from Mark’s pessimistic eye to this, expecting that meeting and seeing Jinyoung won’t likely happen. He had all his hopes up for nothing and a sense of closure wasn’t met.

“I completely understand. I do” Hearing those words made Mark have a little hope of accomplishment though he felt like there was going to be a hanging ‘but’ in the sentence. Jaebum continued, “I thought long and hard about this. Us. Three. Jinyoung, me and you. I expected something like this would happen soon and I was right. Picturing myself on your shoes, I could totally feel the conflict inside you. I know you and I know you five years ago, hell, even more than that. I even expected you to fly back to Seoul and disrupt our wedding”

Mark gasped, “Jaebum, I wouldn’t do that. You know that”

“I know hyung. It just crossed my mind and I just couldn’t help but think about it. Jinyoung and you have something that we don’t have- passion. That passion and the spark, Mark. Everyone noticed that”

“Jaebum” mark softly spoke, emotions came surging in and it was just overwhelming for him, for Jaebum, Jinyoung’s spouse, to talk about what Mark and Jinyoung had before. Passion and spark. Mark couldn’t help but scoff at himself for being so stupid, stupid because he let the love of his life slip from his fingers, a consequence he must face. “Don’t do that. It’s all in the past, I just want to talk to him and have a sense of closure if he is willing to touch that subject once again”.

“Are you sure that’s what you want, hyung? Only to talk to him?”

“I do not want that because what I want is someone I can’t have. That is what I need, Jaebum. I need to just talk to him”

“Hyung-“

“Jaebum. Im Jaebum. Jinyoung belongs to you; he is your partner, spouse, lover and your husband. Don’t even think about anything negative about yourself”

“Hyung” Jaebum lowered his head, this wasn’t all too common for Mark, Jaebum rarely bow his head in shame or embarrassment and he knew what Jaebum is feeling is pure and real, “he still loves you. I know it”

Mark choked, he doesn’t deserve that, turmoil of emotions had filled his chest and as seconds drag he could feel the anxiety building up. Cigarette. Cigarette. I need one. He refused to believe Jaebum’s words but the doubt subsided when he came eye to eye with the latter, eyes saying what Jaebum said were in all honesty. Jaebum had no control of his husband’s feelings; he came in to terms with them, accepting the truth is easier than being in denial.

“J-Jaebum” Mark stuttered, overwhelmed about the confession but he only had one mission here and it was to make Jaebum agree, “I’m asking for your permission, if I could just talk to Jinyoung tomorrow night”

Jaebum heaved a defeated sigh before nodding his head, “Of course, hyung. You don’t need to ask for my permission” Mark softly smiled at Jaebum, everything suddenly became light, bright and comfortable, “Thanks Bum, and I do, I do still have to ask for your permission”.

“You were always so kind and selfless, Mark. I’m thankful that trait of you didn’t change. I am thankful” Jaebum warmly smiled, also felt a sense of comfort with Mark, no more tension that filled the air, both of them could properly breathe in ease.

“You never called, Jaebum” Mark decided to change the subject, but he knew the reason why he hasn’t called neither did he call him. Everything became awkward, there were no proper goodbyes since Mark’s family scheduled an early trip for him to fly home, Mark was in a shock, too. Mark’s assistants came knocking on his apartment door one time and told him they needed to go now since he had a lot of things to learn about the business he was about to handle. He only had his phone with him and his important documents on the plane to the other side of the world. Mark explained it all to them; the boys couldn’t argue with it and just accepted what had happened with a sad heart. But one person wasn’t happy at all with Mark’s sudden departure and everything then on was a mixture of frustration and disappointment.

“I was awkward and with me mentioning it to Jinyoung might make him uncomfortable. I’m sorry for not even trying to call for the past five years, hyung” Mark shook his head, “No. It’s okay. I, too, was afraid of calling you both”

“We felt the same after all. I thought you’d forget about us but I was also hoping to see you again”

“And here we are” Mark snickered, he couldn’t believe that he would be here, back in Seoul, talking to one of the most important part of his life, “In different circumstances but nevertheless, here I am, back in Seoul”

“You won’t return back in LA after tomorrow night, right?” Jaebum hoped Mark will be staying for another two or more weeks, work later and reunion with their friends now.

Mark shook his head that made Jaebum smile because he wished to spend more time with him and with the boys if everything goes well with Jinyoung and Mark. He hoped so. Mark had dreamt of this day and it’s finally happening tomorrow which made him anticipate for tomorrow and nervous to see Jinyoung again.

“Just bring Jinyoung back to me after” Jaebum joked but both men knew to take it seriously despite the humorous tone, Mark smiled, “Of course. I will”

The two older boys parted after Jaebum convinced Mark to go home and rest since tomorrow will be the big day, Mark was sceptical and was rather surprised at Jaebum’s participation with everything Mark planned. Shouldn’t it be the opposite? Should Jaebum not allow this kind of event? Guess after a decade of knowing each other, Mark still has yet to discover Jaebum’s considerate self.

“You’re home late” Jinyoung said, he wasn’t mad or anything but whenever Jaebum goes out late, he would usually text or call Jinyoung that he’s be home late. It didn’t cross Jaebum’s mind, rather enjoying his hyung’s company after quite a while.

“Good evening to you, too” Jaebum chuckled, approaching Jinyoung and planted a kiss on his cheek, “I lost track of time, was spending my time with an old friend” Jinyoung nodded, he didn’t question more further which relieved Jaebum, he didn’t want to lie to Jinyoung and tell him he was hanging out with a friend which was not Mark. “You should go and take a long rest” Jaebum softly said, Jinyoung snickered, “Usually you’d let me stay up and talk to you during my free day” in which Jaebum replied with a shrug, he was never good at lying, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and just go with the flow. “Well, maybe you’ll be out with your friends tomorrow” “Jaebum, my friends only consist of my two workmates, your workmate and you” Jinyoung stated matter of fact.

“You forgot two head”

Jinyoung knew who Jaebum was referring and Jaebum knew Jinyoung had an idea. Jinyoung’s fell on Jaebum in a surprised expression, it was odd for Jaebum to bring them up especially the one person he was trying not to think right now”

“Jaebum. It’s unlike you to be-“

“J-Just maybe we should be open about it and heal old wounds, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Just saying” Jaebum said, sitting beside Jinyoung on their leather sofa, “It’s never bad to welcome possibilities” he added.

Jinyoung became silent, conflicted on telling Jaebum about everything. It was hard being open to your partner especially when you never know its effects and how it’ll affect the pair, “Jaebum, I have something to say to you but you have to wait until I’m ready okay” Jaebum smiled and nodded, “I trust you. You won’t do anything without any meaning and reason. Just do what you feel, Jinyoung” Jaebum felt a weight had disappeared over his shoulders, feeling relieved, whatever happens will happen and he’s lie if he says it wasn’t scary because it was.

“Thank you” Jinyoung softly said, eyes filled with  warmth and both knew what each other meant and what they were to expect and both felt scared but what is life without a pinch of fear?

“So you are telling me to tell Jinyoung to have dinner with me at the Bay View restaurant and I say which is a memorable place for the both of you and do you think Jinyoung wouldn’t be suspicious?” Jackson said, being sarcastic while flailing his arms everywhere in exaggeration. Mark had invited the boys over to crash in his place which Jackson without a hesitation, jumped to his car and sped towards Mark’s place.

“Jackson, shut up. That is not the point” Bambam scolded the older one, rolling his eyes at the former’s exaggeration.

“How about my job, hyung?” Yugyeom perked on his seat, excited of the day to come, bouncing up and down on his seat with a glint of excitement in his eyes.

“Keep him company? You can, like, hang out the whole day or something. Whatever you think is good” Mark shrugged, he was never good at this field, Jackson wrapped his arms around Mark’s shoulder, giggling in excitement, “Trust us, Markiepooh. It will be smooth as a baby’s ” earning Mark to scrunch his face, his best friend indeed is very weird.

“Let’s bet that Jackson might ruin the plan” Bambam raised his arm up followed by two other arms raised from Yugyeom and Youngjae. Jackson scoffed, bewildered at the traitors in front of him, Mark just chuckled at the mistrust they have in Jackson. “Whyyyy” Jackson whined.

“You would probably giggle non-stop and Jinyoung might become suspicious and wonder what you’re planning” Bambam said, imitating what Jackson might do, clinging on to Yugyeom while faking a giggle, “You better keep that grin off your face, hyung” he added after imitating Jackson.

Jackson pouted, thinking about his future failures which Mark patted his head in comfort, “I trust you, Jackson, and You’ll do a good job right? Jacks?” he asked, tilting his head towards Jackson who smiled wide at his best friend’s trust in him, “Hyung. Mark hyung. I won’t disappoint you that will be the last thing I will ever do?” he insisted, a spark of dedication in his eyes and Mark knew he made the right choice.

“Well then, everything is set” Youngjae announced, leaning his side on the sofa where Bambam and Yugyeom were seated, “I pray to God that everything will go smoothly” he smiled and gave Mark a thumbs up.

“A toast to a better beginning and a possible reunion” Jackson toasted, raising his glass of red wine, earning a burst of laughter from the boys who also raised their glasses in the air right before they clinked it together and made numerous chants, “EEAASSYYY” Bambam and Yugyeom chorused, a fond expression in Mark’s eyes while Jackson patted him on his back, “Good luck” he whispered.

a/n: i have to speed up and finish this fic soon. i feel like this isn't the best i had contributed to the markjin community, if you are somewhat disappointed at the direction of the fic, im sorry. i did try my best at writing and there were days, honestly, where my vocabularies were limited so yeah if you have comments and suggestions feel free to comment or tell it to me directly at my ask.fm acc (ask.fm/hoetakas) or at twitter which is @ morituan