I love you
Love AgainThe next morning, Namjoon waits outside my house as if it’s just another school day. Except that it’s not, because he looks extremely fidgety and can’t seem to keep eye contact with me.
“Did you do something wrong?” I ask casually on the bus to school. Namjoon’s eyes widen and his pupils dart around guiltily.
“What? No, of course not!” He denies too quickly.
I watch him through peripheral vision, my arms crossed over my chest. “You’re bad at lying, you know? Spill before I-“
“I’ll tell you after school!”
I don’t get to question him further because we reach our stop. Namjoon drags me off the bus and quickly runs for class. Suspicious, if you ask me. Definitely suspicious. I don’t waste my time flooding his inbox with messages because I know he won’t reply me. So I patiently wait for school to end.
When lunch break comes around, Taehyung happily skips ahead of me towards the cafeteria. My footsteps are heavy because of the cliff hanger Namjoon had left me with. He’s even avoiding me by staying in class now. What’s up with him? Did he suddenly find a new girl overnight? No, Namjoon isn’t such a person.
“Earth to Sera,” Taehyung waves a hand in my face as we stand at the cafeteria entrance. Shaking his head, he pulls me towards the food queue and places a tray in my hands.
“Did you talk to Jjun last night?” I ask absentmindedly. I miss his answer but barely feel anything about it. Taehyung sighs.
“I’m sure hyung has his reasons,” he assures me. “Don’t worry.”
I nod, but still find it impossible to keep my mind off it. Either way, I manage to hold it in until the end of school without breaking down. I wait for the bell to finish ringing but even by then, I still receive no texts from Namjoon. By habit I head to the lockers and when I see him leaning there by mine, it took all of me to not run into his arms.
“Ser?” Namjoon tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ears as he looks into my eyes.
“You really didn’t do anything you should get smacked for, right?” I ask for good measure. To my horror, he laughs and I glare at him, a slight pout on my lips.
I expect him to say something, anything, to clear up this situation but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes my hand gently as ever and leads me out of school. A short, silent stroll later I realise he’s taken us to the tree.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I eye him warily. He sets out a picnic mat by the base of the trunk and sets me down on it. He doesn’t forget to hand me a blanket to cover my legs. Then, sitting opposite me, he pulls out lunchboxes from his backpack and lays them down between us.
“I made lunch,” he says as he pops open the lids revealing its contents. As if reading my mind, he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Don’t judge food by its looks.”
I furrow my eyebrows. Rather than the weird looking food before me, I am more bothered by the fact that he attempted to cook. “Tell me the truth. You’re being this nice to me because you want to dump me, don’t you?”
“What are you talking about, Sera?” Namjoon looks at me with worried eyes. “Did someone say something?”
I huff in exasperation. “Kim Namjoon, you’ve been weird since yesterday and you suddenly make lunch for me? I’d say this is pretty suspicious behaviour.”
“Oh, dear Ser,” he sighs and comes to my side to pull me into a hug. “I’m sorry. I had all these thoughts on my mind and the cooking preparations...”
I sniff back tears as Namjoon shyly hands me a pair of chopsticks.
“I woke up early this morning to make these,” he tells me. I scan the feast of eggrolls, kimbab and… japchae?
I hiccup nervously. “You’ve tasted these, right?” I glance at him hopefully but the look on his face says otherwise. Mastering what little courage I have, I take a bite of eggroll.
“How is it?” He asks softly.
I chew once, twice, and something crispy catches between my teeth. It’s a bit salty but it’s not too bad for a first try. I smile. The kimbab isn’t bad either. In fact, I think it tastes pretty good, if you ignore the awkward way in which it’s wrapped. But then again, you can’t possible go wrong with this.
“You really made these yourself?” I ask again as I put a spoonful of japchae into my mouth. Wrong move, because it seems to have been too heavily seasoned with soy sauce and sesame oil.
Namjoon nods. “I tried to follow the recipes as best as I could but the visuals kind of failed on me.”
I swallow what’s in my mouth and take a large gulp of water. “It’s not bad for a first try,” I say encouragingly. However, his smile falls slightly at my words. Picking up his own pair of chopsticks, he tries the eggroll. I hear the same crunchy sound and resist a laugh.
“This is not what I imagined almost burning down my kitchen for…” He frowns.
My eyes widen. “Tell me you did not actually almost burn down your kitchen.”
“I didn’t,” he hastily says, “but there might have been a small accident where I knocked over the pan on my first batch on eggrolls.”
My first reaction is to pull his arms over to check if he injured himself. Thankfully, all he got was a small scald on the back of his hand. It looks like he’s had it treated so I’m not too worried. I sigh.
“Let’s agree to not have you do this anymore, shall we?” I say, taking another bite of kimbab. Namjoon nods bashfully. I roll my eyes at him but a smile sneaks upon my lips as he reaches for my hand. He holds my hand tight in his and the warmth from his palm is enough to fight away the cold breeze of the approaching evening.
Not wasting any food, we finish the rest of our picnic together. Lucky for us, there were no more shells in the eggrolls. Namjoon, however, did have to get hot water from a nearby convenience store to wash a bit of the saltiness off the japchae noodles. Birds chirp in the trees and the sun slowly starts to set as we wrap up our meal. Namjoon keeps the empty lunchboxes back into his bag before leaning back on the tree beside me.
We sit without talking for a while.
“Taehyung called me last night,” Namjoon finally says, breaking the silence. “Is that what you’re really worried about?”
I don’t say anything because I don’t know what to say. There’s no way I can put my thoughts into words without sounding like I don’t trust him, don’t have faith is us. But I really do, do I…?
“I know my heart, Ser, just as I do know yours.” His gaze is soft as he looks into my eyes. “You’re afraid my feelings will change. There’s no doubt it will, but only to become stronger for you. We’ve been apart for ten years, and not for a moment have you left my mind.”
I draw a sharp breath as I try to collect my thoughts.
With a shaky exhale, he pokes a finger on his chest over his heart. “During the time we were apart, the beating of this means nothing except to remind me of my lonely existence. Now, it beats for you.” Reaching over, he takes my hand and places it over his heart. It crashes against his ribs, the thuds deafening against my palm. With his other hand, he caresses my face. A stray tear leaves my eye.
“Your parents’ divorce made you lose faith in marriage, I understand.” His voice is barely a whisper. “If it burdens you then I won’t ask again until you’re ready. But until then, would you at least give us a chance?”
Us. The word echoes in my mind. With Namjoon everything feels so possible it’s like we can conquer the world together. But marriage… it is but a piece of contract that ties two people together, isn’t it? I still don’t know what significance it holds. Is it not the heart that matters the most? Unless… what if it’s being tied down that I’m afraid of? Do I not trust my own heart to remain with Namjoon? I look away from his eyes to think. Maybe I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did.
Namjoon pulls his bag over and starts rummaging through it. He fishes out a small round capsule that looks like it came from one of those toy vending machines. Carefully, he opens the capsule and a tiny object flies out. He holds it up to me and I see that it’s a kid’s ring, one with a plastic purple rose on the top. He steals a glance at my hand hesitantly.
“I’m not saying you have to answer me right now. I’ve told you I would wait, and I’m keeping that promise.” He takes my hand again and slips the ring onto my pinkie finger. “Keep this with you. When you feel that we’re really not meant for the future… you can return it to me then and I’ll know.”
I look down at the ring, and a soft laugh escapes my lips. I shake my head at Namjoon while looking at him through teary eyes. Something clicks in my heart and I truly know how I feel about him.
“Jjun-ah, I know how you feel. You love me, and I love you, too. I’m just saying that it’s too early to be thinking about marriage. You still have overseas studies to worry about after your graduation.”
Namjoon’s hungry eyes search mine.
“Kim Namjoon,” I call, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve loved you since we first met and I’m not going to stop any time soon, not ever. But let’s leave marriage for later, shall we?”
He sighs. “As long as it’s not a flat out rejection… I was worried you were going to break up with me because I proposed!”
“You call this a proposal?” I punch him playfully. “What exactly did Taehyung tell you?”
“He said something along the lines of another girl…” His voice trails off.
I roll my eyes. “And he missed out the most important part.” About the lack of romance, I add silently. There goes my dream of a lavish proposal with a large bouquet of roses and a pretty diamond. I sigh. “So, are we good on this now?”
Namjoon considers seriously. “Does this mean if I ask you again when we’re adults you’ll accept my proposal?”
“It depends,” I say simply. A smile reaches the corners of my lips and seeing that, Namjoon, too, smiles. It grows and soon, our laughter ruffles the trees around us. Namjoon pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight. I hear him breathe a soft sigh as his body relaxes. He wraps his arms loosely around my waist when he pulls back just enough to meet my eyes. I am caught off guard when he closes the distance because this time, he lowers his head and lets his lips fall on mine. A chaste kiss, but it’s enough to set my insides on fire.
“Park Sera,” my name sounds like music on his lips, “I love you.”
I smile, my answer a whisper against his lips. “I love you too, Kim Namjoon.”
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A/N: I wanted to wait until Wednesday for this update but I just couldn't wait! If you realise, yes, we have (almost) reached the end of the story. This was supposed to be the last chapter but I decided I want one more so there will be an epilogue after this. The ending came somewhat too abruptly but I didn't see the need to add more drama to drag out the storyline so here I present you my happy ending of Park Sera and Kim Namjoon. Thank you to everyone who's been supporting this couple!
Ah, also, The Comfort of You (this fanfic) has undergone a title change! As of this chapter, TCY will be retitled Love Again. A cover is also work in progress and would most probably go up together with the epilogue. As always, I'd appreciate if you'd leave comments to let me know what you think of this story!
+) So the cover is not really a cover but a casually edited photo with the title but still ><
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