a/n: omg I'm so sorry I haven't updated in awhile ;_; this isn't exactly a warm and fuzzy chapter, but it's christmas themed? I guess it's like my present to all of you? :D it's from Seokjin's POV as well as MC's :D

**Unedited

Seokjin sat next to a tree outside of the school once classes were over, his hands tightly clasped over his ears as he rocked slowly back and forth, trying to slow the steady stream of his tears. He didn't want to go back home, especially not now.

Snowflakes began to gently sprinkle from the sky, blowing past Seokjin in puffs of white dust. He didn't notice the cold, however, as angry memories ran rampant in his mind, preventing him from focusing on anything else. The little snowflakes along with the date, however, brought him back to a memory from a past Christmas. 

"Appa~" Seokjin looked up at his father, rubbing his tiny mittened hands together. His eyes lit up with joy as he wondered what he might get.

"Hm, Seokjin?"

"It's Christmas!"

"So?"

He frowned. In his young mind, he couldn't quite figure out what was going wrong, and why his father wasn't answering like he expected that he would. 

"Well..."

"Well? If you want something, you should ask."

"On Christmas, there are usually presents, right? At least, on TV there is! And my friends told me~" He chirped out with a small voice. A twinge of nervousness struck his heart as he finally realized what his father was about to say. What his father was about to do.

His father raised an eyebrow. "Presents?"

"Y-yeah. Right?" He grew unsure of himself as he studied his father, noticing the unhappy expression darkening his face.

"No."

"No...?"

"Well, there are presents on Christmas."

Internally, Seokjin let out a sigh of relief, hoping his father was going to say that there was something for him.

"But... none for you. Actually..."

Seokjin widened his eyes at the word 'actually.' Inside, he was unsure of why he trusted his father after what he did. To him, to others. Still, he wanted to have hope. Hope was the one thing that kept him going.

...

He felt a stinging pain on his cheek as he was pushed to the ground. Seokjin quickly cupped his cheek with his hands, tears bubbling up in his eyes.

"There, that's your present. You don't deserve anything better. Merry Christmas." His father stormed away, leaving Seokjin trembling on the ground.

"Don't deserve anything..." he whispered to himself, tears streaming from his doe-like eyes.

You ran outside the of the school building for the first time in almost two years. Classes had ended, and musical practice was canceled for the holidays. Something, probably your intuition, told you that Seokjin would still be on campus. Considering his parents had done such horrible things to yours, you couldn't imagine them being the festive type. You couldn't imagine him wanting to go home to them, either.

Hopefully, I don't get caught out here. My mother never signed the consent forms to let me leave the building, so this is probably illegal. But it's Christmas. I ruined a person's Christmas. I ruined it for someone I care about. I have to fix it. I hope he's here.

Scanning the area, you began to desparately look for Seokjin. The white flakes flying about covered your vision, leaving you in a combination of annoyance and awe. You hadn't been outside for a long time, let alone be amidst the magestic flurry of snow. Still, you couldn't let yourself become distracted.

"Seokjin? Kim Seokjin? Are you still here?" You called out his name, running around the area. Your teeth began to chatter as you realized you were only wearing a thin knit sweater. The snow landed on the top of your head, allowing the cold to spread throughout your body.

When you were about to give up, you heard a small voice.

"Don't deserve anything...."

It sounded like Seokjin's voice, but the liveliness was gone. It sounded different. You felt tears spring to your eyes, realizing that you were probably the cause of this.

"Seokjin...? Jin-ah?" You headed towards the direction of the voice, and almost gasped at the sight. Seokjin was sitting on the cold ground, surrounded by snow, rocking back and forth. His lips were blue from the cold, swirling air, and he appeared to be crying. He didn't respond.

You dropped to the floor beside him, shaking his shoulders lightly. He looked up at you, trails of icy tears frozen on his face.

"Why are you here...? You shouldn't be here. I'm sorry."

"Seokjin, please..." You protested, looking at him with worry. "I'm the one who should be sorry, not you."

"No... but I don't deserve it. I-I don't know if you heard, but my parents..."

"I don't care."

"Your memories... you probably wanted to forget everything, and it was all my fault." He in a breath, more tears beginning to flow down his cheeks.

"How was it your fault? It was your parents-"

"T-there's more. I didn't realize... Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Why am I even talking to you? I don't deserve... to hear your voice..."

He's not making sense, he's talking in circles.

"Stop saying that."

"N-no, but you don't understand! You... almost died... last year..."

"What?"

"Because of my... notes... you... didn't want to live. You didn't want to live, and it was my fault. I didn't... know it was you. I don't know why... I did it... but..."

"So?" You whispered softly, warm tears beginning to form at the corners of your eyes. "I don't care. That was in the past. It's obvious that you regret it."

"No... I still don't-"

Your tone of voice changed as you realized what he was going to say. Again. You wiped the tears from your eyes.

"Stop it. Stop. It. If you really feel bad, stop wallowing in a pit of your own self pity. If you feel bad, you wouldn't be doing this, okay? You'd be enjoying your day. You'd be enjoying your Christmas. Why? Why? Because I don't want you to feel upset because of me. Because of this stupid situation that Jimin-"

"Jimin," he interrupted, "Only let me know the truth. The truth I needed to see."

"Are you really so blind?" You huffed, exasperated, "All he did was dig up some stupid stuff you did last year. Yeah, fine, I almost died. So? I'm fine now. I'm ** fine, so just... stop. Please. Stop talking." 

Imitating his earlier actions, you placed your lips on his lightly, your heart beginning to pound.

What's wrong with me? What am I doing? I should be mad, but I'm not. My indifferent act has long since disappeared. I hate this. I hate this so much.

He didn't try to push you away. Rather, he simply closed his eyes. Though he looked cold, his lips were so warm...

After about a minute, you pulled away.

"Merry Christmas, and please stay warm," you murmured as you ran back inside of the building.

What just happened?

a/n: these backstories feel like they're trying to force you to feel pity for the characters lol-- I'll try not to do that for future fanfics I write T_T (Jimin's backstory--) ANYWAYS, MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! (this is late by a day I'm sorry T_T) I hope you all have an amazing day~~ Thank you so much for bearing with me through this fanfiction and reading it, I appreciate it so much. Thank you to those who have been commenting. //I really love comments//

bts when they were still small haha //I mean they're small now but//

**This fanfiction, slowly, is dropping from its . At this point, it's still flexible. Would you prefer this story to end up being a SeokjinxReader or JiminxReader? I really want to write a story that you'd like to read~ It was originally supposed to be Seokjin, which would result in this story wrapping up more quickly. But I just wanted to ask because I feel like it could go either way, so it depends on what you guys want to read~