Part Two: I Feel Nothing

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The morning sun shines brightly through my window. I sit up in bed, squinting at the light seeping through my uncovered windows. I swing my feet over the side of my bed, sliding a pair of slippers over my feet, I stand up. I toss my hair which is already messy from my restless sleep. I yawn, grabbing a zip up hoodie from my closet. I slide the blue sweater over my bare skin. I head to my kitchen to make myself a breakfast, more so a lunch. I crack a couple eggs into a pan, the sound of them sizzling is all to be heard. It’s been a week since the love of my life walked out on me. It’s been a week since I ruined my life. I walk with my plate of eggs and slices of toast the way she had taught me to make breakfast to the couch. I take a seat flicking on the television. I place the remote back to the table, I scoff at a red and white plane ticket on its surface. Today was the day I was supposed to travel to Canada with her to visit her family. At least that was her plan, mine was to propose, reason why I bought the tickets in the first place.

As I eat my food, I scroll through channels, settling on the news.

I gaze out the window, the television on more as background noise than actual entertainment. I soon finish my small meal and head back to the kitchen to clean up.

“Breaking, we are getting reports of a plane crash just off the coast of northern Japan” I hear the female reporter say, I turn my attention to the news, watching the television from my kitchen as I begin washing dishes.

“Korean Airlines flight 71-45 to Toronto, Canada has crashed just off the coast of northern Japan. Reports are of no survivors, currently. Search and rescue are at the scene. We will be keeping you up to date on this tragic crash, as we get reports.”

My eyes widen at the words being spoken. I drop my plate back into the sink. I run to my coffee table, picking up the plane ticket. I read all the information on the paper.

Flight Number 71-45

Korean Airlines.

Seoul Incheon - Toronto.

My hands drop the ticket. It floats to the ground while my eyes haze over. I look down at my hand, covered in blood. I must have sliced it on the plate I dropped. It trembles, but so does the rest of me.

My phone begins ringing. I look around for it, but my mind is running on end.

I grab my phone from the table in front of me, placing it to my ear. “Donghyuk! Donghyuk, You’re okay?” Hanbin’s voice is panicked. “Donghyuk! Are you okay?” he practically yells. “Donghyuk? Is Madisen okay? Donghyuk!” his voice becomes more panicked. “I- I am” I speak. “Donghyuk” Bobby’s voice begins speaking. “Donghyuk, breathe, what’s going on? You’re home? Where is Madi? Donghyuk we will be right over” he tells me. My breathing becomes heavier and I begin to feel like I’m spinning. My phone drops from my bloody hand to the ground where I hear it crack.

“Donghyuk!” hanbin yells, as he knocks frantically on the door. “Donghyuk” Bobby speaks opening the door, as he knows my passcode. He, Hanbin and Yunhyeong all join me in the living room. “What’s going on? Where is Madisen?” Yunhyeong questions. My knees buckle from beneath me. I fall to the ground. Hanbin and Bobby catching my shoulders.

I reach my hand forward, pointing a finger towards the television and the news banner across the bottom reading stats on the plane crash. All three of them turn to me. “Oh my God” Yunhyeong sounds taking a seat on the couch. Hanbin rubs my back while looking just as pale in the face as myself. Bobby cleans up my broken phone from beside me and washes my blood covered hand with a cloth before wrapping it. He seems to be the only person with his head on straight. Even with his constant prodding at my hand with a wrap I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. I shake my head, my mind and body completely taken over by shock. “I feel nothing”

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